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The « Sex instructor »

1st December 2012,

I’ve got a good and a bad news. The good news it’s that I’ve been blowed. The bad news it’s that it’s by the girl of the last week, the one with whom I would like to go slowly. I really liked her so we kept in touch during all the week and I made a considerable effort to go out this evening. Why a considerable effort ? Because I endured a nasty pharyngitis all week long and I just returned to my normal temperature (I was hooooooooooooooot) ! You know me, I believe that no pain no pain and that the efforts are rewarded…

Except that during this second DATE… I liked her less. Not the character eh (she still made me laugh a lot), but I dunno if it is because she was dressed differently or something like that but physically I liked her less. I am less sure of my crush. Finally, I say to myself that maybe it is because I idealized her since last Saturday and because, necessarily, a return to reality hurts … Let’s be clear, she is still attractive but, I dunno, the euphoria of the meeting had probably dissipated.

In brief, we ate a crêpe and I spilt some sugar on my jacket. Then we went to my place so that I wipe with a wet sponge then as she carried a big bag, I told her that she could put it in a corner and get it back when leaving. Except that once my coat was wet, it was necessary to wait that it dries. So, I turned her on against the wall of the kitchen. After a while, I removed her pullover, just for clarification. I then leaded her to the corridor, taked off her shirt. « What are you doing ?
– I’m taking off your shirt. »

Gradually, we roamed up to my bedroom then she made a little resistance by hanging on to the door. I asked her if she had a problem, she answered « it depends on what you planned to do ». I explained that I wanted to take my time with her, that there was no need to be in hurry but that I wanted to take advantage of the time she was there because later I was not going to see her during 3 weeks because of her studies of medicine. I was sincere. Except that, in my opinion, it had the effect of accelerating things : that’s it, the famous logic of the chicks…

We kissed on my bed and sealed the deal (who still says « seal the deal » ? Me !), I removed her bra and she warned me « there is a thing I am OK to do, but I want that we close the door. » I had already told her that my roommate was in Amsterdam but it was not the moment to discuss « Yeah, yeah, if you want ». She closed with great difficulty the door because she was excited then opened my pants and get down to work.

I had the right to an original blowjob : I dunno what she really does with her hand, some fingers caressed my testicles whereas her other hand turned around my anus. Any stupid boy probably told her that it was a good idea to do so. I had the fear that she pushes a finger in my rectum. Fortunately, she just caressed.  Otherwise, it was good … I have some other anecdotes which need to be told about this blowjob : I ejaculated approximately one liter but she did not notice that I had finished. Then, she asked me a lot of advices. It is there that it RANG a bell in my head: this girl looks for a mentor. A guy who is going to teach her full of tricks and simply give her orgasms. She killed two birds with one stone. I believe that I have just signed a contract of « Sex instructor » : the first lesson was free my darling, but next time you are going to get value for money ! Otherwise, I like this girl. I just walked her to the taxi.

I think I’m going to play to Starcraft now. May the God of the Game be with you.

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May the God of the doggystyle forgive me

24th November 2012,

I’m not saying that I want to be in a relationship because I know the important thing is to not get carried away (but we can get girls to relax). However, I met a girl with whom I think that could be cool. Yeah, you read well : I felt a very special connection between us, and she fills all my criteria … Then why not give it a try ?! I enough messed around anyway…

I set the stage : two months that we talk on FB (the power of poke), I told her everything, even about my blog of seduction she has almost read. During this period, I passed her the buck twice (because of laziness… I am scandalous) and she shouted at me. It is by telling me to fuck off that she become more important to me … What a girl of character to dare to reframe me this way ! In brief, I fought to negotiate a last chance.

I had to join her at the closure of the library at about 7pm to go having a drink. I knew that, if I cancelled again at the last moment or something, she would next me forever and I would miss something… I went with the idea to kiss her directly on the mouth instead of giving kisses on the cheek. On my way, some thoughts crossed my mind, « what if she is ugly ? and what if she doesn’t like me ? etc. » I said to myself that it is not normal that after the number of date in which I went, I still feel nervous. Will I feel nervous all my life before dates ?

At the time of acting, I didn’t feel in me the Mojo, so I kissed her on the cheeks, next to her lips, it was quite strange but funny… We walked a moment and our fingers touched although it does not sound like me then we settled comfortably in a nice bar (She gulped three mojitos while explaining me that because of her studies of medicine she does not go out often). She speaks a lot, but make me laugh. She is the daughter of doctors (Orthodontist and dentist), she doesn’t show off but has money. Studious 19-year-old medical student, she is tall, hot : flat stomach but endowed with breasts perfectly proportioned to my hand and a nice ass, long curly strawberry blonde hair which give her an angelic side, she has a face not classic but attractive (aquiline nose), clear blue eyes. In brief: full of charm. What more could one want ?

More I stuck with her, more I had difficulty in keeping a cool head and in developing a strategy of seduction. It was feeling… we even ate at Flunch. I love simple girls like that. She stuffed my chicken because I do not eat meat anymore. Needs that I explain you my new diet … In fact at the moment I’m reading Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins and this book made me aware of some important things, it downright convinced me to change my lifestyle. Then, here we are, I understood the importance of the food. As a result, I try a special cure in order to boost my body and my mental. Am I going to hold out?

The last bus to go to her friend’s home (she said she wanted to sleep at her place) was at 8:55pm but she called to ask if it was possible that she stayed with me a little bit more. To me, it was more than an indicator of interest : a green light. Getting out of the « restaurant », it was cold so that I told her I knew a secret place, not far away, where it is warmer and without wind : I walked her to my place without really saying it.

She asked me if I had something to drink… because I had nothing : I pushed her against the wall and kissed her without answering. Then we caressed each other during 2 hours, easy ! I told her that I wanted her so much but that I preferred to see her again, in order to do it in the good way.  Because she read blog, she knows all my techniques, and I didn’t want her to be just another « one shot »… I didn’t want that she think I am a pervert who handled her. May the God of the doggystyle forgive me.

I say to myself that I have to stop being so superficial and maybe giving a chance to this girl to be the first to make me fall in love. After all, I think that I look for what everybody is looking for : a love that consumes me : laughter, passion and maybe a little danger.

To leave her, I walked her to the taxis and we kissed, a kiss of an inconceivable purity. So good. It was incredible, it was worthy of a movie with Julia Roberts. Moreover, with her lip balm, it hydrates me, hmm, it is a really pleasant sensation. I still heard in my head the voice of a group who walked down the street next to us and who said « we just see this kind of kisses in a cinema… » Now she is back to Marseille for the week, I am over the moon while waiting to see her again next week <3 I’m probably ridiculous when I talk like that but I don’t care ! What well-being !!!

The wind is shifting. May the God of the Game be with you.

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The manual of the man who misses the inevitable

3rd November 2012,

The manual of the man who misses the inevitable :

Chapter 1 : put your phone in silence mode when the girl that want you to doggystyle works at night and wants to join you after her job. Twice. (I did it last Saturday and I did it again on Wednesday,  fuxelife).

Chapter 2 : reject the girl you want to doggystyle when she asked you for a DATE during her free evening, Because you decided that it was more productive to watch l’Arnacoeur with Romain Duris and Vanessa Paradis (yesterday but, in my defense, it is a great movie).

This evening, I FINALLY stopped playing the unbearable guy (the hard to get hard) and went out in order to drink a chocolate with the miss Cucarrachas (I already wrote something about her the other day). Seriously : I dunno how she stand me, I would  almost have self-nexted… When I arrived : she was already a little bit drunk (WITHOUT ME, WHAT NERVE) and wasn’t bored because she knows all the waiters of almost all the bars (IT IS SEXY I GUESS, THE SOCIAL PROOF, EVEN ON WOMEN). Sometimes I say to myself that, if I was a waiter in a nice club or something, motherfucka how many naughty girls I would take doggystyle effortlessly (THE TIP).

In brief, we talked a little bit, we played footsie a lot, then we ate a pizza and she told me she was looking for a place to change before going to work. Innocent question ? I don’t think so… « You are in luck, darling, I have an apartment, and moreover not far ». Arrived in my secret base, I feigned a power failure (because the darkness is appropriate to rapprochement) but after 5 minutes I push her on the switch and everything was illuminated… « Ah well, hmm, it’s fixed obviously ! »

In the process, she changed in front of me (what an Indicator Of Interest) then I asked her why she was getting dressed because I was going to undress her in few minutes. One thing leading to another, we made it twice before she leaves late for her JOB. A short time in the missionary position on my bed so that our bodies get acquainted and a wilder doggystyle on the sofa. She made me laugh when her boss called her during the sexual intercourse « Yes, I am almost here, I am in the street right now, if I am breathless it is because I walk fast ».

She then asked me to walk her to the club but, fuxelife, it was too cold outside. Well, I did it, contrary to expectation, because I am too nice… So, she comes back after work, at 6pm. I checked that my phone was not in mute in order to « fully » investigate the issue. Anyway, the barmaid, checked.

I kiss you on the boobs and if you do not have tits, I shake your hand. May the God of the Game be with you.

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Audrey Hepbrun and me

Image : Charade

1st November 2012,

I broke my phone yesterday. I wanted to cry. Still in a bad mood, I missed my bus this morning and walked in a puddle.  I thought « Fuxelife ». But, fortunately, a little human being restored my faith in the humanity.

So, I was chatting about this and that with this chick via FB : common friends, music. I watched her pictures and I my tongue touched the ground (her body has quite simply incredible proportions). Marylou and I had agreed on a meeting two days later but, during this interval, we didn’t stop chatting. The D-day, we had a date at 6:30 pm in Les Allées Provençales, I arrived late (of course) at 7 pm.

I walked her directly at Jules’s because I needed feminine advices about clothes then we had a drink in a famous lounge bar of the old town. She spoke about sex, TV shows and… her ex-boyfriend (!!!) she said she hated him (hum in my opinion she just wants to see a maximum of penises as a way to punish him, it is called bulimia post-relation). She paid my drink of muscatel wine, it was cool, she scored points. Then, we went to eat a pizza close by : I paid. Whereas I made demonstrations of high value, one of her best friends passed and Marylou called her (it proved me that she was not ashamed of me and that I shall doubtless doggystyle her without too many difficulties).

We stayed cool there, till 11 pm. The contact was tremendously good even if she is an mobile-addict. She was still talking about sex, she talked about her desire to do a threesome with her driving instructor and her best friend, she complained about girls who act like if they are afraid by dicks and even said something about her first sodomy… She started to flatter me and to enumerate my physical qualities and all these flatteries intended to make a bull become hard. I saw her sending a text message to one of our common friend, saying she liked me. Then, I told her that we had to pass at my place so I aerate my apartment. She stayed in the hall while I opened the windows. She asked me if I could drop her off at her home because there were not buses anymore. It was asked so friendly that I said yes.

Arrived in front of her building, she didn’t leave my car and we stayed till 1 am speaking (especially her, playing with her keys) then she told me very cool things like « I am good, I can be with men who have a cute smile when a lot of women are alone » and things more provocative like « you’ll never be as cute as Damon » (her fantasy). At this moment, she put the finger on something because my father and my grandfather were so much tall and handsome that I make a complex and consider myself as a failure. I maybe try to compensate, in a way, with the learning of seduction. Well, I am too old now for this teenager’s bullshit and I know that even if Damon is one of more beautiful guys of the earth, he would not have sex a lot if he had an attitude of depressive shit (and for the moment, she is with me, not him). It finally reinforced my vision of the seduction: a hot body without the good attitude it is not good, attitude without a hot body it’s much better… even better in some cases that attitude AND body… because it urges to go farther to compensate (cf. Gainsbourg).

Let us return to our lost sheep: my objective at this moment was to kiss her and to have a relation with this exciting goddess, I love this kind of girls. She represented the temptation. I thus kissed her, put my hand under her T-shirt and caressed her breasts and her neck. She said « I want to sit down on you, face to you » thus I moved back the seat of my car and she opened my pants. She started giving me a handjob then « I want to suck your dick » Then she took place on the other seat and went back to her task (it needs a lot of concentration). She said she had her period (I don’t know if it is true ?) so didn’t wanted me to take her nor to lick her pussy. Too bad for her.

She removed spontaneously her top saying it was warm here (I agreed), I love her tits, I opened her jean to enjoy her butt, I love her amazing butt. The car was full of vapor, cops and young idiots passed just next to us. I finished in her mouth after 30 minutes, then she said she was tired but that it was a « good fatigue ». This girl is awesome. If you wanna see what she looks alike, it’s obviously possible… Check « Audrey Hepburn » on Gogole and I swear she is her double (at 21 year old).

« Bon nouit », as an Erasmus whom I met recently would say … May the God of the Game be with you.

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The king of the cunnilingus

29th October 2012,

Hélène is a friend I met on MSN (quite a while already) and I didn’t see since three months… She texted me she wanted to come over at 4pm for a drink and came with a bottle of fruit juice. After a while, she asked if we could have a nap…Taken short, I answered yes. I was not in a really good mood so I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t understand that a remake of « Hélène et le garçon » was filmed in my own studio…

Seriously : I was tired so I really honestly wanted to sleep, but I suddenly felt her lips on my lips (my eyes were closed). I was not hostile to the idea of some pleasure with this goddess so I let myself be seduced. We kissed shyly and passionately … Then, I undressed her and turned her on with my underwear. « I have my periods, we can’t do anything » (SHE said that huuuuuuuuuu not me I specify) but after a while « OK, I can give you a handjob. » We started then she told me (she was lying I guess) she had to meet her mother at 6pm, so had to leave ASAP. I promised « I will finish quickly ». I did.

I am not a selfish man, I really wanted to give her some pleasure. I had to make her want to come back, she was so perfect to me. As a consequence, and without really asking her, I went down on her. She hadn’t her periods. I saw the pleasure rising in her. My fingers, my tong, my mouth were doing their job. She came only once, but it was better than nothing. This adventure made me want to become the king of the cunnilingus. It is so powerful when it is well done.

I noticed that she has little tits (it is no problem) but really nice ass (it is no problem either), while she got dressed again (I had not the opportunity to admire her before because she stayed more or less on the back from the beginning to the end of the act). If people like me have big arms, it is because too many starfishes like the missionary.

While I observed her covering her attractive perfectly flat and firm stomach, I wondered how a girl like her could find me attractive … The bottom line is, we have to do our best to become sex gods to improve our inner game.

May the God of the Game be with you.

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The barmaid

28th October 2012,

I’m going through an existential crisis : I think it’s time to change my lifestyle. After the week-end of integration, I really want to stop alcohol (even if it was fun). Indeed, it makes us do stupid mistakes, then it destroys our bodies… and for what ? To feel a little bit more free than usual ? I mean, thanks to the Game, I already have more social freedom than the average, so why put myself through this ? I already do what I want without caring about what other people think so I’m now too old to say « it is because I was drunk that I did it… » Well, it happens sometimes, theses moments when I feel all the weight of the world on my shoulders… and then, a cutie smiles to me, and I see a possibility for a renewed life. It was the case : I had a date with a barmaid of one of the clubs of my town.

I met her on Thursday night, with Arnaud. She kissed me on the neck to say goodbye so I purposed her to come over and take a bath with me at my place but (strangely) she preferred that we met in town. It’s serious. Moreover, she called me that same Thursday night at 5am (so, if I think well, it was Friday morning) : it was noon when I saw the call, so I asked her if she wanted to visit my apartment, she answered yes, I asked her if she liked me, she answered no, I asked if she was passionate about real state… she answered that she liked me. So, after this interaction totally representative of the « logic of princesses » : we agreed to see each other again last night.

It was 7pm when I got out there and realized that I seemed condemned to finish as a frozen food Findus (but in good company) until she starts her work, that is to say 11:30pm. I then suggested her offering me an easy death by suffocating me between her enormous breasts. I wasn’t really in a mood for death, so instead, we had a drink , I was sexually aggressive, then she invited me in a Spanish restaurant, I was sexually aggressive again but I didn’t showed her  my Mexican hot pepper. She, obviously, tried to make me drunk with « cucarachas » then I walked her to her club. The heart warmed by the divine beverage, I said « 11:28pm… we do not have more than two minutes…
– Yeah, I wait that you push me against the wall and that you kiss me! » I don’t remember what provocation I answered but she threw herself on me. I really like girls like that, so I pay her here tribute if ever she reads me one day. You have to know that those who say « women like that are sluts » are men who would like it to happen to them, but when it happens to someone else, because they are jealous, they say « women like that are sluts » but if it was happening to them, they would say it was so cool. When girls criticize other girls for the same reason, it’s because they would like to have more social freedom, to do not give a shit about what other people think. So, because they are jealous, they say « women like that are sluts ». Of course, they lie to themselves, like it they wanted to justify to themselves not being able to do the same thing.

The barmaid then suggested me waiting 7am, that she finishes her work… at the moment, I didn’t realize that we were changing the hour thus I had to wait more than 8 hours. As a result, I said “OK” and I joined my buddies in the club to spend time. Thanks to her, I had free entrance, it was a good plan.

So bad, I came back home at 4am because I was too tired : I really wanted to wait for her watching a fucking movie but I felt asleep and my phone was in silent mode… I will try to be better next week.

May the God of the Game be with you !

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I felt like a porn actor

Image : Les Bronzés

7th October 2012,

Week-end of integration of my college, it was « legendary » : I put my life on the line by making wet a Corsican, I wrote on the butt of a girl with her red lipstick and many other madnesses. But let’s take it in order chronological: the afternoon of the first day, there was games of alcohol. That is to say events of a high intensity where we drink when we lose but also (and especially) when we win. I lost, and more I was losing, more I had to drink. And more I lost again, more I had to drink again (I remember having played basketball with my sneakers (in France, we says baskets) : I threw them in the basket and everything). I thus decided to stop the massacre and to socialize with every attractive freshman… I noticed one in particular, moulded well in her black tracksuit with white bands (not to quote any brand). We went back together to the camp (the games took place below on a ground of basketball).

Then, it was the moment when we floured the freshmen and the hour of the shower. With 10 grams, I think I used all the hot water and masturbated just to spend time. Then, I went out in search of a bullshit to be made: I saw a tube and the window of a bungalow opened. So, I sent the water. The noises of a Corsican who I did not like very much resound in all the camping. Impossible to retranscribe here her words by respect for your chaste ears but in my mind, it was like « BINGO, I ANNOYED HER WELL ». A 5ft09 crazy girl went out, naked, roaring and threatening all my family. I think I made a friend… again. Well, it is the cult anecdote of our WEI.

Proud as a king because I didn’t take any slap, I then proceeded to unforeseen visits in the bungalows of the girls. After having been rejected three or four times, I found one buddy particularly willing and well turned to me whom that it did not bother to receive me only wearing string/t-shirt. So, I proposed her a game … I don’t remember what exactly but still I eventually drew a squalid thing on her butt and gave her a kiss as a signature.

Afterward, in the disorder :
– A friend came to me, saying « I share my bungalow with a couple of the prom (that I shall not name by respect) and I pretended to sleep when they began fucking. I saw everything : Claire on the top, Claire on the bottom, Gauthier in Claire’s mouth (oops, I named them). »
– I was very fond of the drawing of an enormous cock on Julien’s stomach (a drunk guy of my prom), then I asked him his FB password and he gave it to me.
– A chinese buddy was so drunk : I put him some shaving foam on the hand and indicated him that he had an imaginary fly on the face then, he spread out the foam everywhere. Picture.
– Still with this foam, I filled the slippers of I do not know who.
– Note for myself, other things which I would like to do during the next WEI: make a knot with the hair of a girl (sleepy) in the bars of a bed AND put a plastic spider on her pillow for when she will wake up.

OK. The bell rang, it was FINALLY the hour of the soup … and on my way I saw again my beauty in tracksuit. I took her arm in arm even if I didn’t know her well : « You were lucky today.
– Why ?
– Because you met me. » She laughed. And we talked like if we were drunk people, enjoying drinks. I remember having fallen from my bench because I was drunk to the gills, she helped me to held up, then I kissed her as to thank her (yes, I have the hand over the heart). We continued to eat our mouths for a while, then we went to take sustenance of more edible food.

I saw one of my friend, Pierrot, who asked me « What do you drink ?
– Yes. » Thus, I continued to eat the mouth of my cutie then the night fell and I saw my informatics teacher who observed us putting his hands on his head, like saying « this man is crazy ». Ill-at-ease in the only vision of this obese and hairy seal, I suggested to my darling going to my bungalow (very sweet). A buddy was asleep in the toilets but it was not a problem, I directly guided my princess towards my bed and told her: « Suck me ! » What she answered me in a semi-awakened voice: « Have you got a condom ? » I agreed (because I am a responsible boy) then I took her in 3-4 positions before demolishing the curtain. I swear you, I felt like a porn actor, a delight of alcoholics : I said a lot of cult quotes and she obeyed. « Turn around ! »

After a while, there were maybe 20 people in semicircle in front of the window who watched us fucking ! I tried to put back in place the curtain and everything but it was not easy: it fell again every time. She seemed to like that, maybe she  was a little bit exhibitionist. To finish, I made her a facial then I let her sleep there, drunk as she was. A buddy told me that he will upload the video on Youporn. Those are casualties of war. My buddy Pierrot arrived in the bungalow, woke her up and threw her outside with a kick on her ass. I cried, I was going to miss her. No, seriously, I think I would have slept well with her.

Instead of what, we went back hunting outside. I saw friend Pierrot kissing a 5ft91 ugliness! Argh! I encouraged him to fuck her (that is to say, I pushed him to commit an error) to be able to have fun of him but it unfortunately not happened. In the early hours after this adventure, he avoided her constantly. I love those freshmen… They are still so fresh! Except sudden reduction of Mojo, this end of year looks strong in feelings and I can doubtless conclude better that Jean-Claude Dusse with a lot of chicks. Or I can find love, I am not sure.

May the God of the Game be with you.

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A platonically sexual relation with a Parisian

24th September 2012,

What’s up ? First of all, I try to fuck an American girl. I talked to her in a club, good vibe, and she suddenly disappeared. Fortunately, I had enough time to take her Facebook. So, I contacted her on FB, we met and we drank three or four drink of Muscat. Then, we flirted with our words, our eye contacts and as a consequence our body temperatures increased uncontrollably. It ended letting off steam by dancing very closed together in the nearest club.

So here we were, I didn’t keep my hand for myself and she neither <3 but I felt she didn’t want to kiss on the dancefloor. I totally trust my social intuition, so, I tried anything else : I isolated her and… It worked : kissclose ! We met two or three times since that night but it’s every time the same scenario : she avoids my lips then kisses me at the end of the night before disappearing when sexual tension become out of control (for example when we touch each other sex though our pants). I asked her why : she told me that, in her culture, when you are well-educated, you do not « display any public attention » … so, if I want to give her any pleasure, I will have to invite her to « watch a movie » at my place, and « game, set and match »… But I’m not in the right mood : she has a sexy accent, she is cute, but I’m too old to invent excuses for my desires. What a shame ! I know it is the game of seduction, but I won’t do too much efforts for frustrated a girl who cannot assume her responsibilities !!!!!

I was interested in what she said about « not displaying public attention »  so I asked her to tell me a little bit more about that : In her country, when you’re in a relationship, you can kiss your girl in public, but when you’re not, this is not seen as honourable. But, from the outside, how can people know if the girl you’re kissing is your girlfriend or a total stranger ? I mean, they only seen a boy and a girl closed together. I think it’s a bad thing that the girls have this kind of shit in their mind… I really hope the mindsets will change in USA so I will can sleep with hot blondes full of silicone more easily. It’s a job for Obama.

Also, Arnaud introduced me to an Asian girl. I saw her in a Park, we kissed, then the night fell and they closed the gate. I almost cut a ball when I strode over the fence. Moreover, I was wearing a suit pant : it is broken…  since that funny night, we send each other hot text messages, so it worth it. I will try to do not screw it up, hoping she won’t neither !

Thirdly : The girl from Adopteunmec didn’t give a lot a news even if she let her ring at my place (I guess it means she wanna come back – if she tries to mark her territory it would be better to piss in a corner – or she really forgot it and finally doesn’t want to see me again). Otherwise, I yet already saw the girl of the streetfucking again two or three times, we are sex-friends. Well, I had not too many doubts about her, because between us it is fusional : I fucked her in the stairs of her apartment and on the floor of the hall of my place (we buried the  condom in a plant)… it necessarily creates links!

Last weekend, I went to Paris for the wedding of a cousin. I talked about sex with my uncle : a womanizer who went into a lot of gangbangs ! I also had a crush on a brunette (an actress not very famous at the moment) her name is Zoé. I have to say, it was full of people from the high society : lawyers, traders in any kinds, big bosses… I however looked forward to enjoy the rest of my week in Paris.

Indeed, since a few years, I maintain a platonically sexual relation with a Parisian of 25 years I met in St-Tropez when I had been a beach manager! She has nice boobs, green eyed and plays volleyball quite well. It’s cool ! She added me on Facebook and we did a naughty Skype but… we didn’t see each « in real life » for at least three years ! When I told her I came to the capital : she told me that she would be there so I thought that our two bodies could finally get to know each other better, but… problem : she agreed on the principle but yesterday she started her bullshits « I won’t have sex with you so easily, you will fuck me and never call me back, you do not respect me, I would prefer that we remain a fantasy for each other, etc. » so I answered « OK, I’m in Paris for 5 days, so we can see each other and have a good time or we can do something else and both be frustrated but in any case I won’t arg for hours on this subject … tell me tomorrow what you decided » (you sometimes have to be ready to lose a girl in order to have sex with her). I guess she was just anxious. This morning, she sent « my body decided for me, I have my periods ». I told her she directly entered the top 10 of the worst excuses in the world (it’s not very original) ! Then, after having told her that she was disappointing, I stopped answering. She really pissed me off : girls who tell you during years than they will have sex with you and who do not keep their words when the time comes only deserve my contempt!

Finally, she sent me a lot a of text messages I read when I was in a Nespresso shop saying « What else » to the sellers (not very original but I have the right because I am a tourist). I didn’t answered her, but she changed her mind on her own. The last message said « I want you ». Probably a spark of intelligence… So we finally met at the Opera : we went to the FNAC, she asked « what do you wanna do ? » I was honest « I want to go to your place and have sex with you, you were talking about respect earlier but, to me,  respect is not lying to you.
– We can go to the cinema if you want.
– Nope, your place. » So, we took a scary subway and arrived in the bad districts (full of riffraff and tall blacks) ! What a change with the girls from the Georges Clooney’s shop who made me think they were probably hired for their hot bodies and their faculty to keep their nails clean while cleaning cups.

At her place, she started a movie we watched almost 10 minutes (500 Days of Summer)… then we had sex twice in her shower (by the way, she really had her periods) even if she said just before « I will never sleep with you ». It was good. So, in conclusion, when a girl spontaneously says you she won’t suck you dick, you know she will. You just have to be sexually aggressive enough in order to help her to overcome her last minute resistance.

It is the theory, but in most cases, I don’t do that. I hate microcalibrating. What I like is honesty and franchise… so sometimes I put them in front of her responsibilities: I say « very well, we won’t have sex together » and I start leaving the place. It works most of the time : they change their mood. Each to his own, there is not ONE ONLY way to seduce or to have sex. You can even sometimes fuck a girl only because you’re lucky or because she wants you more than you want her ! If she had told me « no », that we didn’t see each other : I would have masturbated and put it in perspective.

The bottom line is : girls want sex, want orgasms. They know they will feel good after. But, it is easier for them to stay in their comfort zone, to do not unzip your pant, to do not get naked in front of a stranger, etc. Some people really live their lives, most of people missed the best opportunities because they are afraid. For their own good, become a good lover, and give them a chance to have good time instead of staying bored at home.

May the God of the Game be with you !

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It’s one of the simple life’s small pleasures

15th September 2012,

Sometimes, I’m so tired that I don’t wanna do something else than sleeping. But, If a bro calls me, I make an effort. I will tell you what happened during a very good night, before which Arnaud took me by surprise. What a shame ! 9pm text message « get up, come eat with me » ! Seriously, I thought it was Sunday. My body seemed to hurt everywhere (because of sport) but I did some self-motivation IN ORDER TO EAT. The traitor opened a bottle of rosé which made me forget all my pain! And, one thing leading to another, we went out !

In the first pub, I opened a set of Greek girls but didn’t understand anything they said and they weren’t really pretty so we decided to go to another pub ! On the dancefloor, I started talking with an ignoble Spanish accent (when I’m drunk, I often false identity to pose as a Spanish) : « tonight, I kiss without the tong. » A chick and her friend came to me, asking why, so I explained that I lose a bet (bullshits). We had fun together and the girl said : « I think, it’s better with the tong. » I asked her if she wanted that I kiss her in order to show her  how we proceed in Spain! She said yes ! So I kissed her, with the tong of course, and I said « oops ». One of the guys whispered me that I just kissed his sister. « Oops ».

Then, a blond approached me, saying « your friend is cute, what’s his name? » she showed me Nono. I was happy for him, so I caught his dead, I put him down from the podium where he was dancing like if he participated to the gay pride, I caught their heads and made them kiss. They did their business, but, after a while, she came back to me. I didn’t understand what she said, but I answered « do you think I’m cute too ? » I kissed her without waiting for her answer. I think she liked, because she asked my FB.

We decided to go to a club. I saw two chicks, dancing together, in the way « we are the two intimidating hotties of the club and we know it ». One more beautiful than the other. I asked them if they were going to kiss as lesbians : they laughed but nothing else. I abandoned, but after I while, I saw only ONE cutie, dancing with a boy… « Where is your friend ? I would like to see her again. » She explained that her feet’s friend hurt, so she was waiting on the couches. I opened her, just to tell her that I would like to see her again and that I wanted her FB. Her name is Aurore, brunette, thin, green eyed. Unfortunately, Arnaud wanted to sleep, so I asked him to wait, that I wanted to play at « double or nothing ». I came back to her, on the couch « I will leave soon, can I have a kiss ? » She said yes, she kissed me. « Good night. » I should maybe try to make love to her, but I was fine enough. It’s one of the simple life’s small pleasures.

On my way out, I crossed a group of Asians. The cutest asked me « do you really wanna sleep? », I answered « no ». She asked what I wanted to do, I said that we could kiss, she kissed me on the cheek. I complained « no, it is worth nothing », and tried to kiss her lips but failed. OK, by being so aggressive, it was inevitable that it happened. No problem, It’s already forgotten.

The bottom line is that, men like women, when we’re home after a party, we’re alone… Kissing some girls can have give us some validation, but in the end we’re in the same situation we were before going out. I’m not saying that it is very helpful to fuck someone, but still, it fulfils our needs, we feel better. Only kissing, without even taking her number, it is useless. What is the problem there ? Why everybody doesn’t have orgasms on Saturday night ? It’s social pressure. Girls are scared to be seen as sluts. The guys should thus accept that girls have good time, and do not be jealous when it’s not with them (in particular do not insult them), and women should learn how to enjoy their lives !

May the God of the Game be with you !

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My first streetfucking

13th September 2012,

The day had badly started. I had negotiated bilateral consensual relations with a chick who was supposed to my apartment, the afternoon. At the desired time : no news. As punishment, I didn’t called her, I am not a needy poodle frustrated. Too bad for her, I hate rude individuals who think because they’re cute they’re allowed to do anything and to stand people up. If she call me ON HER OWN INITIATIVE and make a counterproposal she will have ONE more chance. In the meantime… hopefully Arnaud wanted to go out, otherwise, I would have hung out in this polar cold, alone and disappointed like a cow-boy who would have lost his cows.

11:00 p.m.

On the dancefloor, I said, loudly enough in an act of provocation « There is not a lot of women I didn’t kiss in this city… » A chick came to me « Do you want to kiss me ?
– Would it please you if I kiss you ?
– Do you want to kiss me or not ? » I did. She said she wanted to see again the day after, in a club. She took my number. Arnaud thought it was nothing but the day after, she sent me a text message in order to see me. To be continued. I then passed a group of girls « I have enough, they all want to kiss me » the group laughed and called me « pretentious ». We shall say what we want but girls like arrogance! Well, at least, those who have a minimum of confidence! For his part, Nono took a eleven-digit phone number (in France, it’s ten-digit) and paid his beer with a cheque.

Midnight

I went to put my jacket in the cloakroom then I negotiated the FB of the pretty Polish who worked there. Opener : « girls change every week here » then because I tried to pick up the girl who was there before her, we talked about her. I noticed she was reading a book, so  contextual joke : « he dies at the end », she laughed. At the beginning, she said she didn’t want to give me her FB because in Poland, they wanna know better each other before. I don’t believe this shit, in Poland,  they get drunk with some vodka and fuck like monkeys. After a little talk, she agreed ! Her name is Paulina (I’m not sure) she is 25 , she loves sex but is shy : she is waiting for her Prince Charming on his white horse but is ready to have sex with an alpha stranger who would know how to pull the right levers (the last part is a supposition).

00:30 a.m.

I approached two waddling girls « I guess it would be better to dance with a guy ? ». Then I talked to their cool buddies. When I went out to get some fresh air, a girl stared at me, so I stared at her too and asked her if we knew each other or if we already kissed. She said no. But, I really thought I recognized her so I asked if her name was Lucie ? She said no but that her name actually ends with a « i ».
– « Am I supposed to guess ? » So, in a playful way, I guessed (it was Emilie), I talked with her buddies, besides, a brunette recognized me : I dated a friend of her last winter. OK. Then, they left the bar and I didn’t do anything more than a Mexican during naptime (no kiss no FB). Hopefully, later, Emilie passed before me again so I told her to come with a wave of the hand, and she did. We started to get closer when suddenly one of her friends, that has come out of nowhere (she was probably smoking outside)  jumped on her, a little bit like Chabal tackling an Australian rugbyman « forget him he is ugly ». I suspect her to be a little bit jealous and frustrated, or she really thought I’m ugly but her friend liked me (the hazards of the Game)!  I would have dickslaped her in order to break her teeth ! In any case, it was none of her business, and treating people that way reveals her ill-being.

A chick who watched the scene because she was bored started laughing at my misfortune.  So, I introduced myself « Hi, I’m student/writer/good kisser (to pronounce slash) ». A little later in the evening, she came back to me « so, I heard you’re a good kisser ? » I proved it to her. Then, I asked her to show me her tits, she answered « not here, there is too many people ». She promised to show me her boobs later, in a club.

2:00 a.m.

So, with Arnaud, we came to the club. I saw again the girl of the bar I had fun calling Eugénie instead of Emilie. I told her to come with a wave of the hand again, and she did… again (compliance test) : huge indicator of interest and of drunkenness. Her friend motherfucka came back to keep her away from me AGAIN : I felt like an idiot. This is the second time : I think, she and I, will have a problem. Also, twenty minutes later, I saw her keeping her other friend, the brunette, away from a guy who yet was ten times more handsome than me… I tried to talk to her in order to tell her to take care of HER life… but she didn’t let me say a word ! Incredible ! The blonde started kissing a tall guy totally drunk with the t-shirt full of sweating (moreover, I think he always turned his tong in the same direction). Her loss, she really has to change her friends ! Seriously.

Extremely offended, I came back to the girl who had to show me her tits. She did. Nice, I like when people keep promises! I remember there was guys that night who tried to steal my girl in a not catholic way « he is such a loser, fuck with me I’m better baby ♥ ». Let me tell you that it reveals a lot of frustration. Poor guys ! For her part, it looked like she knew what she wanted and assumed it… It makes a change, in a good way ! It was really cool to make love to her… but, also, I think she was lucky to find me too : on the Internet, there is so many inexperienced and awkward and complicated suckers. Then, everything gone naturally, alternating sweetness and assertiveness… she wanted incredibly and savage good sex, I think she had value for money ( doggy style was particularly good). I do understand her : if everything was that simple, the world would be better ! Less frustration, less violence, more happy people… However, discretion is important (social pressure).

5:00 a.m.

I got my jacket, she asked men for some cigarettes, and we were on our way. When she asked cigarettes, I said I was her roommate bicause men won’t give something to a girl who will fuck with another dude. We stopped in an alley, and I said « do you know streetfucking ? » She said yes. We had sex on-the-spot. She came in the street, once, but I didn’t. I was hard like a tripod from The War of the Worlds on the way of my place. At home, we fucked, twice. (I gave her orgasms with my tong, my fingers and my cock, she really deserved it to reward her boldness). She came, 3 times. Then we did it again after sleeping and she went to work. She is 30, and teased me a lot : hmm « for a 23 year old boy » it’s « not bad » haha. Flattering. I have to say, she is really fun, I’m charmed, I want to see her again. Such complicity, in particular into bed, creates solid bonds. I’m interested. She dared, she tried me, she won.

For his part, Arnaud have been banned from a club where he was a regular… because he never buy drinks.

May the God of the Game be with you.