Month: February 2014

I quoted quite a lot of movies throughout the book, but I add some to be sure that you will find the answers to the possible questions that you could still have :

– The James Bond movies ;
– Pierce Brosnan in The Thomas Crown Affair ;
– Johnny Depp in Don Juan DeMarco ;
– Brad Pitt and George Clooney in Ocean Eleven ;
– Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman ;
– Mickey Rourke in Nine ½ Weeks ;
– Tom Cruise in Top Gun ;
– James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause ;
– Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire ;
– Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black ;
– Jack Nicholson dans The Witches of Eastwick ;
– Ian Somerhalder  in The Vampire Diaries (seasons 1,2,3) ;
– Ed Westwick in Gossip Girl (seasons 1 and 2) ;
– Neil Patrick Harris in How I Met Your Mother ;
– David Duchovny in Californication;
– Simon Baker in The Mentalist ;
– Ashton Kutcher in Spread ;
– Will Smith in Hitch ;
– Roger Dodger.

To be continued…

Extract from : How to sublimate your body language

 

Indicators of interest

When you will have a practice, you will instinctively know how to feel when a girl is interested. You know, the “feeling” is nothing else than the fact that our unconscious deciphers the physical language of the person in front of us.

I quickly warn you because this story of signs of interest is a little bit double-edged. Waiting for signs of interest before approaching or kissing can make you lose some girls, especially if you are a beginner who does not enough trust his judgment. Mystery advises to wait to have detected three signs of interest before trying to pick up a girl. In my opinion, the only sign of interest you really need, it is that she stays when you take initiatives. Being sexually aggressive will make her feel excited and create the rest of the attraction. Furthermore, with certain girls who do not even know how to emit a signal or who are conditioned to wait that the man makes all the work, you will have no sign of interest : signs of interest are only a luxury (or rather a safety).

– She compliments you on everything and anything (say “thank you”) ;
– She looks nervous (shivers) ;
– She teases you (she is a player) ;
– It looks like she forces to say that she appreciates the same things than you do (approval) ;
– She enumerates what you could make together in the future (remain a player) ;
– Crossed legs, if the foot which is in the air is pointed towards you, you have her attention ;
– She feeds the conversation when it gets out of breath (or when you stop it voluntarily, haha) ;
– She touches her face (she thinks of something) and looks at you (she thinks of you) ;
– She looks at you in eyes (and supports your look) ;
– She is mirroring you (follows the alpha male): posture, volume and flow of words, breath, laughter… ;
– She fiddles with a phallic object between her fingers (naughty girl) ;
– She moves her head (observe her hair) ;
– She removes her shoes (does she want to get totally naked?);
– She touches her shoulder and her neck in a sensual way ;
– She plays with her hair (or eat it) ;
– A real smile, a regular increase of eyebrows, hard nipples ;
– Face relaxed in your presence (but the nervousness can be a good thing too) ;
– Her pupils get bigger when she looks at you in the eyes ;
– Even if there are other people all around, her attention is focused on you;
– She touches you when she speaks (arm, foot) ;
– She laughs at your jokes / comments ;
– She takes out her tongue and show it by touching her teeth or by licking her lips;
– Her body is in your direction, she straighten up, arm in extension and breasts forward;
– The palms of her hands are turned to you (she feels at ease) ;
– She rubs her wrist (valid if she has a bracelet) ;
– She blushes (sexual excitement?) ;
– She touches the lobe of her ear (valid if she wears earrings) ;
– She asks deep personal questions (not “where do you come from ?” but rather “what are your passions?”) ;
– She speaks enthusiastically;
– Her voice falls of one or two tones;
– She puts back well in place her top (in her bottom) ;
– She tries to impress you in a domain where she feels that you understand her ;
– She is not afraid by the proximity (hand);
– She shows her armpits (she is fine with you) ;
– She acts like a kid (sulk, laughs at everything and nothing) ;
– She makes the false shy person (looks at you then below and away) ;
– She whispers with her friends by looking at you, etc.

Idea : when you approach two girls, put one hand on the shoulder of each girl, and pay attention to their micromovements. You will see which one is the most receptive to your charm, which one wants to leave, etc.

Indicators of disinterest :

– Soft handshake ;
– Avoid your eye contact, especially when you speak (looks far away) ;
– Do not feed the conversation (closed, very short answers, in a single word) ;
– Her arms are crossed in front of her breast / Her legs are crossed on ankles;
– Scratch her nose often (not comfortable, blood influx) ;
– When you turn to her, she bends behind (goes away from you) ;
– She is not enthusiastic (her tone is neutral) / Her face is neutral when you speak;
– She does not emphasize her assets (in particular her boobs) ;
– Do not change position ;
– Never glances at you, etc.

Extract from : How to sublimate your body language

I’ve written this list of affirmations so that you become soaked with confidence. Not only read it… but feel it every day until you notice a change in your behaviours.

What not to do :

□ I do not have to try to seek the approval nor the validation of others
□ I do not have to compare myself with other men
□ I do not have to complain
□ I do not have to lose my cool
□ I do not have to show any jealousy nor to be possessive
□ I do not have to show of personal insecurity nor to show any lack of confidence
□ I do not have to express my sexual desire too seriously
□ I do not have to give a woman exactly what she wants
□ I do not have to brag, to put myself down, nor to put the others down
□ I do not have to may, I remain cool and do not take offence for nothing
□ I do not constantly have to self-control (do not become passive-aggressive)
□ I do not too much have to worry about the thoughts, about the feelings or about the statements of a woman
□ I do not have to behave as somebody soft or weak
□ I do not have to seek approval nor act like if I was in lack of affection
□ I do not have to check out every attractive girls
□ I do not have to hide when I’m bored
□ I do not have to be a fighter
□ I do not have to hesitate
□ I do not have to look anxious nor to look worried
□ I don’t have to smile excessively
□ I do not have to become limp, I keep head up
□ I do not have to feel the need to expose my intelligence
□ I do not have to play the games of women
□ I do not have to be available for a woman if I have already planned something else or better
□ I do not too much have to be in a hurry to answer my phone as well as my e-mails
□ I do not have to be vulgar nor to be disgusting
□ I do not have to quarrel nor to offend a woman
□ I do not have to give some explanation nor to justify myself
□ I do not have to return the conversation to me ceaselessly
□ I have to wait for no more than 20 minutes, nor to accept more than 2 flakes
□ I do not have to fully dedicate myself to a woman, I always step back
□ I do not have to tolerate the dishonesty, the immaturity nor the obesity
□ I do not have to apologize when there is no reason
□ I do not have to do things the hard way when there is an easy way, I assume
□ I don’t have to wear dirty clothes
□ I do not have to be dirty, on the contrary, I am clean
□ I do not have to be at the disposal of people immediately

What to do :

□ I always look confident, my happiness comes only from myself
□ I am discreet on my relations and on my sexual life
□ I go towards the others, I am sociable
□ I give my approval without expecting from it in return
□ I reward good behaviors and do not encourage bad behaviours
□ I know what I want and I am active and dynamic in the search of what I want
□ I am a player, I joke and tease by taking a malignant air
□ I am precise and concise
□ I am optimistic and look on the bright side, I adopt the positive thought
□ I am sincere with myself
□ I am polite, I do not order with an authoritarian look on my face
□ I look casual because I am at ease with myself and in a good mood
□ I watch my body language : I occupy the space, I am opened and vulnerable
□ I dare to interrupt
□ I say “thank you” to answer a compliment
□ I remain unavailable if the obtained profit is lower than what it would be necessary to me to support
□ I am ambitious, in particular in the financial domain
□ I look for the total satisfaction of my partner
□ I am talkative in a group
□ I am funny and spiritual but not clown nor an entertainment
□ I always start with the principle that I’m appreciated
□ I feel free to touch other people
□ With me, nothing is beforehand won (I am challenge)
□ It is me who decide of my life, I do that I want
□ Nothing affects my reality
□ The sex is not really important, it is part of my lifestyle
□ I enough speak loudly, I am not monotonous
□ I control the progress of the exchange
□ I respect myself and I am selective
□ I am remarkable: unique and personal style, I dare suits and look for accessories
□ I can leave at any time, I am independent
□ I know what I can tolerate, I clarify the limits
□ I am relaxed, cool, and it is true in any circumstances
□ My responsibility is the sex, not the daily relation
□ I take initiatives and persist
□ I manage the fear of the rejection, I have nothing to prove to the others
□ I get dressed as if I had just made love to a woman, except for suits
□ I am a leader, it is me who take the control
□ I laugh at what the others think of me and what women say (tests)
□ I forget the errors after having learned the lessons
□ My locus interns > locus extern, the outer elements have no taking on me
□ I am the prize, I have a high respect of me and I believe in my own success
□ I am confident because ” I am like that “, I live in my own reality
□ I want a woman who loves me, who loves life and who takes care of her (and of me)
□ I write without spelling mistake
□ I am not easily influenced : I think by myself and I have my own convictions

The affirmations :

□ I feel at ease
□ I feel confident
□ I am a dominant
□ I like talking with girls
□ I am an ideal lover for the women
□ I am optimistic
□ I have an aura of confidence
□ I am elegant
□ I am stylish
□ I am very proud
□ I am satisfied with me
□ I like myself
□ I am quiet (relaxed, in control)
□ I move my body slowly (head and hands because I am a dominant)
□ I am relaxed and opened
□ I am someone very sexual and women notice it
□ I am a sex god
□ I am brilliant, awesome
□ I am very very confident
□ I have a great fulfilling life
□ I feel at ease to talk to people
□ I occupy the space because I am really confident
□ I am quiet when I enter the intimate space of someone
□ I touch people when I talk to them
□ I am naturally a leader
□ My face is relaxed in any circumstances
□ I am a challenge because I expect a lot from girls
□ I am really interesting
□ I am unpredictable
□ I am like a Greek god : very beautiful and very virile
□ When I talk to people, I gain their trust
□ I am strong and powerful like a champion
□ I am attractive and a sex god in the bed thus women are excited by my natural presence
□ I persist until her bed or until being clearly rejected
□ I like rejections because they translate the fact that I tried
□ I love adventure
□ I do not need the approval of others
□ I improve myself every day
□ I am in a very good mood
□ I don’t care about what people think
□ I am a winner
□ I have a lot of assurance
□ I am very naughty
□ I am an opportunity for women
□ I am a dream lover
□ I am focused on positive feelings
□ I am very funny and very interesting
□ I am a very sexual person
□ I am satisfied and relaxed
□ Women want me but that’s now really important, after all
□ I have A LOT of women in my life
□ I am extrovert
□ Everything goes well
□ I have great hair
□ I open attractive girls everywhere
□ I am happy
□ I have an easy life, I am cool, yeahhhh !!!
□ I am relaxed in society
□ I do not have to feel threatened by other men
□ I am not jealous because I am confident
□ I am satisfied with me
□ I am optimistic thus I can do what I want in my life and make it a success
□ I improve myself again and again
□ I have no limit, I will be even more successful than in my craziest dreams
□ I am sure that it will work
□ I am sexy
□ I want to make love to beautiful women
□ I approach girls
□ I control my life
□ I laugh at what people think about me
□ I walk like a model
□ I am incredibly satisfied with me
□ I actively try to make love
□ I look for the total satisfaction of my partner(s)
□ I am not a premature ejaculator
□ I like giving
□ I only remember positive things
□ I make assured and powerful movements
□ I am active
□ I am one of the potential best lover in the planet and I know it
□ I don’t give a shit and I dare to approach women

To be continued…

Extract from : How to sublimate your body language

The bridge between virtual and reality

In most of relationship books, you’ll read all sorts of ridiculous rules like “don’t call for three days” or “don’t send text messages”, etc. As an alpha male, you move through life doing whatever you want and not playing stupid games. So, call or text when you want to.

Call sooner rather than later

In practise, it’s often better to call SOONER rather than LATER. Call her that same night or the next day if you want to. That way, you and your conversation with her are still fresh in her mind. If you wait a long time, she will forget you. That’s the only risk.

There are some basics rules

When you call, you need to sound confident and comfortable with who you are. Remember, you are not imposing on her but instead giving her the honour and privilege of talking with you. Every person is different, there are thus no other numerous rules applicable to everybody.

One method to relax and not thinking too much about the stake in the conversation is to do some other activities while you’re on the phone. Maybe eat something. Or call her while you’re walking your dog. If you’re sitting by yourself in your house doing nothing, you will too much go into self-analyzing.

No message

Not leaving a message will add to your air of mystery. Most dating advice books tell you to hurry get off the phone. In my opinion, they are wrong. Unless you genuinely are in a hurry, don’t feel like you have to follow such rules. You’ve became an alpha, remember ? You’re done following the rules. Continue your relaxed frame as an alpha male and try to turn her on. You’re calling because you want to chat, not because you’re desperate to go on a date and think you have to pretend that you’re busy to get laid. Pff.

Be genuine

When you call a girl, forget your routines and stories. It would not sound natural. But you can talk about her life… and about your life (NOT IN BORING WAY). If she has to go, do not insist… you are not needy. Resume the conversation in the most natural way from the point at which you stopped the last time. Put her back in this good state of mind. Make her live emotions. (Re)build a rapport ! In brief, everything we have developed in the chapter about your voice (do not be monotonous, etc.)

Do not talk about what you talk when you are nervous. Do not ask her what she was doing before you called, nor how was her day at work, do not remind her where she met you (this is so beta and boring). Do not at all cost try to build rapport. Do like if rapport already existed. Relax and have a  good interaction. If she is AGAIN interested in you at the phone, bravo, having a date will be very easy for you. She will maybe propose herself.

Suggest a date which allows her to drop her defences about having sex on that first date

If you think she will flake you or if she gives you a string of negative answers, don’t worry about it. Just take a few minutes to try to change her mind. You have nothing to lose, but stay alpha. To finish, if you make love to a women on the phone, you are very likely to make her love when you will meet her. Keep it in mind !

Extract from : How to sublimate your body language

Awesome girls can be met online

Some girls on the Internet have a lot of issues but awesome girls can be met through online dating.

You do not take online dating seriously

The first mistake you have to avoid is the reason why you are doing online dating… You are not taking it seriously. You do not need online dating. It is a kind of joke.

Pictures

Pictures are really important. Your appearance and who you are (lifestyle). The first picture is the most important. “hmm this guy looks interesting I’m gonna click on him”.

 

“Who is this character ? I will click on him.” It’s the packaging of your product. Then, she comes into your world.

He is good wih women

She will discover a little bit of your personal, of your lifestyle. You have to show that you are not one of this losers who have invaded online dating. “He is not a nerd, he is good with women.” You don’t want any picture in which you are on a girl… but pictures where girls are hitting on you. By the way, don’t kiss any girl on your pictures. Jealousy is a good thing only if it is imagined.

Some women will be interested enough to message you

The best is when you do not have to do anything. Women who are interested enough can message you (YES IN ONLINE DATING WOMEN CAN TAKE THE FIRST STEP). Here, your work is not to be set apart from the others, just to do not make her lose her interest in you.

Write a complete sales letter for yourself, using as much text as you can get away with (without spelling mistakes). Remember, women will read your profile because you already have their attention, so they will eagerly read it to the end. Your nickname must be catchy and you text must contain punchlines (you can draw from successful adverts).

Do not answer all the questions in your description. It must be easy for them to ask you something. In others words, give them the opportunity to message you on something.

Seeking for what ? Friends, of course. But, nobody is fooled here.

Like in a interview for a job, make qualities seem like lower values. For example, make the fact that you date models like a lower value by specifying that being cute is not the only thing she has to do to interest you. Very powerful. Remember : they look secretly for the same qualities than their brothers have.

Put your own personality (alpha version) into your description, because if you meet her once, you do not want to have to play a game.

Awkward moments

One of the things women fear the most is awkward moments. You have to communicate that you are comfortable making the first move. Communicate a certain level of confidence, of experience. If she hangs out with you it is gonna be fun, a good moment. No stress.

Low risk and prizing sentences

“I’ll maybe have fun with you, be it will depends on your answer.” With this kind of sentences, you do not take any risk. You stay the price even when you message her.

You will probably have to message the hottest girls

But, I have to tell you, you will probably be messaged by girls but you will have to message most of the girls (they are overwhelmed).

Contact women who visited your profile

Look and contact at the cute women who looked your profile. Usually, they are a little bit attracted. They don’t really feel they needed to contact you but are often OK to talk to you. It’s a kind of “please message me” signal.

First messages

“Hey this WE I want to rob a bank and go to a sunny island, are you in ?”(first message) : role play going on.

“You’re pretty cool, you seem interesting and fun. Give me your Facebook or Skype.” Go to a new media. You want her to realize that you are a real person, not just another guy from online dating.

Try to be funny or witty with most of your answers. Only be serious with a few. Don’t be negative or down on yourself at all. Remember, you’re an advertiser selling a product which is you. It’s a kind of marketing. Seduction is a kind of marketing.

Dating profiles are not the actual representation of what they look like. In any case, ask her Facebook or more recent pictures. It’s not rude !

Your profile

Also, your Facebook profile must be based to make you look awesome. Where is a good source for a lot of the things you can put in there? From the women’s profiles (these experts in seduction) ! Look for some punchlines, and then copy them into your own profile. Sneaky, but effective (we do not have to always reinvent the wheel). How can you know that you have a good profile ? When they send you their phone numbers instead of telling you that they already are in a relationship or that they are lesbians.

An easy way to skip directly to the date

With women you chat with online, try to set up a meeting as quickly as possible. Don’t waste a lot of time with stupid women who don’t want sex. It’s HER loss (you’re a sex god). Keep any phone calls as brief as you’d like, since you don’t get laid on the phone (or, at least, talk about sex in a good way with emotions and turn her on).

You can assume the woman is attracted to you if she agrees to meet with you, because you’ve already been pre-screened by her for appearance and personality (you’ve to look like the man in your pictures). Then, the date is a simple process to get laid, since you’ll be alone with her.

Online dating can be a real opportunity for you, because a lot of guys scorn Internet dating. The good thing is that they won’t compete with you. So, Internet dating is an easy way to meet women and skip directly to the one-on-one date that leads to the lay (choose a good place).

A numbers game

Your online dating experience will be a numbers game. Remember, The Game is something statistical. But, online dating is more industrial than other types of game. Even a man cute like Ian Somerhalder would not meet more than 5% of women online. Test, test, and do more testing! Find what works for you !

To conclude, you have to know that girls on the internet are not reliable (they are not all really here to meet men) : flakes, women only here to be reassured on their power of attraction (or to play the princess) and fake profiles made by men are a common occurrence. Don’t be stupid ! Don’t be blind ! Think by yourself !

Extract from : How to sublimate your body language

Explicitly sexual advances are socially disapproved

The origin of the word flirt is obscure. The Oxford English Dictionary (first edition) associates it with such onomatopoeic words as flit and flick, emphasizing a lack of seriousness; on the other hand, it has been attributed to the old French conter fleurette, which means “to (try to) seduce” by the dropping of flower petals, that is, “to speak sweet nothings”. While old-fashioned, this expression is still used in French, often mockingly, but the English Gallicism to flirt has made its way and has now become an Anglicism.

Flirting is a social and sometimes sexual activity involving verbal or written communication as well as body language by one person to another, suggesting an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person.

In most cultures, it is socially disapproved for a person to make explicitly sexual advances, but indirect or suggestive advances (i.e., flirting) may at times be considered acceptable.

On the other hand, some people flirt playfully, for amusement. A female, especially a young one, who flirts playfully is sometimes called a coquette or in slang a cock tease; while a male flirt may be called a womanizer or player.

A way to increase tension and test intention

Flirting usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though within the rules of social etiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest. This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony. Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used. Body language can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, open stances, proximity etc. Verbal communication of interest can include the vocal tone, such as pace, volume, intonation. Challenges (teasing, questions, qualifying, feigned disinterest) serve to increase tension, test intention and congruity.

Rules and boundaries

People flirt for a variety of reasons. Flirting can indicate an interest in a deeper personal relationship with another person. Some people flirt simply for amusement, with no intention of developing any further relationship. This type of flirting sometimes faces disapproval from others, either because it can be misinterpreted as more serious, or it may be viewed as cheating if either person is in a committed relationship with someone else. Some couples set up rules and boundaries for their partner so one will know what’s accepted and what’s not.

Cultural aspects

Flirting varies a great deal from culture to culture. For example, for many western cultures one very common flirting strategy includes eye contact. In these cultures, it is said that a look can say a million words. However, eye contact can have a very different meaning in some Asian countries. In such countries, men may stare at Western women who might get in trouble if they return the glance. This act would indicate that the women are sexually interested and not just flirting. Furthermore, Chinese and Japanese women are not expected to initiate eye contact which would be considered rude and disrespectful.

The distance between two people is also important when flirting. People from the “contact cultures”, such as the Mediterranean or Latin America, may feel comfortable with closer distances whereas a British or Northern European person will need more space. Touching, especially of the hand or arm, is also part of flirting.

During World War II, anthropologist Margaret Mead observed in the flirtations between the American soldiers and British women a pattern of misunderstandings regarding who is supposed to take which initiative. She wrote of the Americans, “The boy learns to make advances and rely upon the girl to repulse them whenever they are inappropriate to the state of feeling between the pair”, as contrasted to the British, where “the girl is reared to depend upon a slight barrier of chilliness… which the boys learn to respect, and for the rest to rely upon the men to approach or advance, as warranted by the situation.” This resulted, for example, in British women interpreting an American soldier’s gregariousness as something more intimate or serious than he had intended.

Communications theorist Paul Watzlawick used this situation, where “both American soldiers and British girls accused one another of being sexually brash”, as an example of differences in “punctuation” in interpersonal communications. He wrote that courtship in both cultures used approximately 30 steps from “first eye contact to the ultimate consummation”, but that the sequence of the steps was different. For example, kissing might be an early step in the American pattern but a relatively intimate act in the English pattern.

Japanese courtesans had another form of flirting, emphasizing non-verbal relationships by hiding the lips and showing the eyes, as depicted in much Shunga art, the most popular print media at the time, until the late 19th century.

Flirting behaviors

In order to bond or to express sexual interest, people flirt. According to social anthropologist Kate Fox, there are two main types of flirting: flirting for fun and flirting with intent. Flirting for fun can take place between friends, co-workers, or total strangers that wish to get to know each other. This type of flirting does not intend to lead to sexual intercourse or romantic relationship, but increases the bonds between two people.

Flirting with intent plays a role in the mate-selection process. The person flirting will send out signals of sexual availability to another, and expects to see the interest returned in order to continue flirting. Flirting can involve non-verbal signs, such as an exchange of glances, hand-touching, hair-touching, or verbal signs, such as chatting up, flattering comments, and exchange of telephone numbers in order to initiate further contact.

Flirting may consist of stylized gestures, language, body language, postures, and physiologic signs which act as cues to another person. Among these, at least in Western society, are:

– Banter ;
– Blowing a kiss ;
– Casual touches, such as a woman gently touching a man’s arm during conversation ;
– Coyness, affectedly shy or modest, marked by cute, coquettish, or artful playfulness (e.g. pickup lines) ;
– Eye contact, batting eyelashes, staring, winking, etc. ;
– Flattery (regarding beauty, sexual attractiveness) ;
– Footsie, a form of flirtation in which people use their feet to play with each other’s feet ;
– Giggling, or laughing encouragingly at any slight hint of intimacy in the other’s behavior ;
– Imitating of behaviors (e.g. taking a drink when the other person takes a drink, changing posture as the other does, etc.) ;
– Maintaining very short distance during casual talking ;
– Online chat, texting, and other one-on-one and direct messaging services while hinting affection ;
– Protean signals, such as touching one’s hair ;
– Sending notes, poems, or small gifts ;
– Singing specially selected love songs in presence of the girl/boy ;
– Smiling suggestively ;
– Staging of “chance” encounters ;
– Teasing ;
– Tickling ;
– Eyebrow raising.

The effectiveness of these several interactions has been subjected to detailed analysis by behavioral psychologists, and advice on their use is available from dating coaches.

But don’t forget : flirting behavior varies across cultures due to different modes of social etiquette such as how closely people should stand, how long to hold eye contact, how much touching is appropriate and so forth. However, an ethologist found that in places as different as Africa and North America, women exhibit similar flirting behavior: prolonged stare followed by a head tilt away with a little smile. Increasingly in the 21st century flirting is taking forms in instant messaging, and other social media.

Extract from : How to sublimate your body language