Month: November 2014

A lack of education ruins a whole potential of seduction. The following tips will probably not give you more conquests, but better ones. And they will help you to avoid the contempt of your neighbor and friends.

Walk the dangerous side of the sidewalk, the one of the cars, and let the safe side to the girl.

Decide quickly in the café or restaurant and do not enjoy your food or your glass like if it was the first edible food that you saw this year. Ask about her wishes before ordering yours, then order everything at once to the waiter, starting with hers. Do not snap your fingers to get his attention.

At her place, ask if she wants you to take off your shoes; usually she will say no but this will make her happy. Do not come empty handed. The wine is a classic.

At your place, after eating, do you think that seeing your hands in warm water with pink plastic Mappa gloves covering your forearms will make her mad with desire? Do not put either the place mat in the center of the table like her parents …

Be respectful with ancestors of others!

Never judge the quality of things in their price!

Naturally let a woman go first in the elevator shaft, let her go out first too, which may sometimes require some awkward contortions. In this case and when you cannot do other way, go out first : hold the door and wait on the threshold that she passes in front of you.

Make sure after your shower or bath to rinse the tub or tray.

Always put your hand over your mouth or suppress your yawning when someone talks to you.

The man before the woman when going in a pub, a cafe or restaurant; they have once upon a time been poor attendance, so a man has to play the role of protector. Under any other circumstances, a man must open the door and let the woman go before him.

You never said “bon appétit”. If someone said so, do not answer “bon appétit”, deal with a “you too” if really you want to answer.

Do not chew with open mouth, do not talk with your full mouth.

Invited at someone’s place, even a close friend, for dinner, come with a bottle of wine, flowers, dessert, a little something. Be sure to carefully remove the label or the reference price on your gift.

If you are headed and gloved, when you meet someone, start by taking your hat off and then remove your right glove to shake the hand of the person.

Never wear white socks, or sports socks, when you do not do sport.

Avoid short-sleeved shirts.

Highlight your guests and especially your interlocutor. Insert cleverly conversation topics that enhance your audience. But avoid the vile flattery, as well as obsequiousness.

Proscribe the “I”. Assume that “you’re not interesting,” unless you are asked questions. Do not hesitate to ask things, it is very well seen, but avoid being too intrusive or personal.

Do not put your elbows on the table.

Wait to be alone to put your finger in your nose or elsewhere. If you are caught in public by the desire of itching below the belt, stay stoic and do not scratch.

Learn to tread lightly, and not noisy big heels. Also, learn how to open and close doors gently, not to slam them.

Avoid picking your teeth in public.

Few people deserve that you get physical, or even that you put yourself in anger. Do not give a damn, treat them with contempt or indifference.

Consume nothing in excess, everything in moderation. However, do not err on the side of moderation.

Don’t say “excusez moi” but “je vous demande pardon.” The excuse is not acquired.

When you are hosting a party at home, do not forget to tell your neighbors to ask them in advance to excuse your friends for the noise caused.

It is desirable to get engaged properly before you get married, three months to one year before.

Never cut the cheese at the end, always take a piece of the crust.

Ask permission from your neighbors before smoking.

Your home should be tidy, neat, airy, always ready to receive a visitor.

Always answer yes or no to an invitation. If you do not answer, you will not be invited again, and if you are invited, know that you have to invite the person in your turn. Each one takes into account the invitations given and received, refusals and acceptances. Refusing twice an invitation means that you do not want to see the person. If you are invited and cannot come, however, consider this invitation and invite in your turn the person in question. Remember that you are lucky to be invited, you, while others are never invited anywhere.

Never say “Mince” and prefer “Zut”, “Flûte” and even “Merde” (though prefer “crotte”, but it is hardly in use).

Do not start sentences with “no,” “I know” (you will seem more friendly).

Do not use “sur” everytime, instead of “à” (eg, “Je suis à Paris” and not “Je suis sur Paris”), do not use “to” instead of “of” (“c’est le frère de Veronica”, not “c’est le frère à Veronica”).

Never say “he” or “she” in the presence of the person: name.

Don’t say “Ouais” or “Nan”, say “Oui” or “Non”. Similarly, don’t say “Chais pas”, but “Je ne sais pas.”

The men wear at the pool or at the beach swimsuit Bermuda shorts (maillot short), they should outlaw the pair of underpants (le slip).

Men should not put their hands in their pockets; it could deform them, and then you can never know what is happening there.

When you are suffering, physically or morally, do not go anywhere, do not inflict your miasma to others.

Be aware of the very high probability that if you say bad things about someone, he or she will eventually know and find the origin. Refrain therefore in most cases, prefer the murderer silence.

Blow your nose and discreetly store your handkerchief by folding, without looking at what you have let there. When you sneeze or yawn, put your hand over your mouth.

It is good to spend Christmas with family, while the first of the year is reserved for friends.

Avoid biting your nails, sign of weakness and nervousness. More you eat your nails and more you will have sausage fingers. It is the same for the small skin around the nail. Keep your extremities intact, they could be useful later… If you cannot refrain from biting yourself, at least do not swallow it.

The rule not to do any piercing remains is in use for every parts of the body (except the ears), including the nose, tongue, navel, nipples or the lips (the big ones).

Give to your neighbor the bread basket, never directly take one piece to give him.

Avoid sucking noises and pasta when you invite. Be very careful not to spray yourself some sauce, which is often impossible.

Be polite with the house staff or waiters. They will serve you better.

Never complain, it is a very bad thing.

Invited to a meal, remember that you must eat all the food. If certain foods make you vomit, take some and give it discreetly to the dog of the house if there is one, unbeknownst, or hide them under your utensils. The role of the hostess however, is to know your food allergies.

Never finish a dish, unless you are prayed and after many polite refusals, after many passing the buck, etc. This is true for the last oyster on the plate, the last slice of foie gras, etc.

Be polite and pleasant all the time.

The child has an absolute respect for adults. Adults often use politeness to maintain some distance with their interlocutor. More sociocultural difference exist, more the politeness must be affirmed.

Leave a symbolic tip in a café, a restaurant, or when you take a cab. It is usual, even if you no longer have to apply the 10% rule, at least in France. The few times when you cannot leave a tip is when you really want to punish a cad or dishonest behavior against you.

In a family (home or friend), be sure to replace the possible “PQ” roll that you have just finished with the reservation. We prefer the use of “toilet paper” rather than “PQ”.

Choose names like Louis, Francis, Edward, Philip, well, names of kings or great men of this world. Give between three to five names to your children, and do not hesitate to use the “Marie”, even for a boy, to place him under the protection of the Virgin. The names such as Nathan Job, Edith, etc. are connoted thus not recommended.

Do not hesitate to give your turn when you are in a queue (supermarket or other), especially for a client who only has two products when you have a full cart. Do not forget to do it with a smile. Do not hesitate, in the absence of deep appreciation you can say an audible “you’re welcome!” to the rude.

When you have not heard, do not say “Quoi?” or “Hein?” but “Comment?” or “Pardon?” or better “Je vous demande pardon?”. Sometimes you can ask “can you repeat the question please?”… a slight nod of the head, or an eyebrow can be enough to revive your partner.

When you are hosting a reception, make sure the buffet is not out of alcohol, and there is enough toilet paper in the bathroom, and soap and towels are present.

Following an invitation, call the person you received the next day to thank her. Otherwise send him a little thank you card. Or an email, take advantage of modern technology. Do not hesitate to do so, you would be surprised by the rarity of this act and your host will feel gratitude.

For a man, outlaw being late with women. For a woman twenty minutes are tolerable, but she will have to say to her companion that she is really sorry. Between a man and a man, accuracy is the politeness of kings.

You may laugh, but avoid the trumpeting, or whinny. Prefer smiling. In some families, too big events such as laughter are almost unwelcome, as it is fashionable to take everything with cynicism and second degree humour.

Always offer an odd number of roses.

Never sauce your plate. If really, you can gently take a piece of bread, planting your fork in and sauce. Do not take your plate in your hands and lick it directly, only dogs can do so.

If the servants take care of you specifically, wash your clothes or wax your shoes for example in a hotel, let them when you leave, in a small envelope, a “tip” in cash.

Do not stretch out your hand first to someone older or “superior”. Wait until he does it first. Also, do not crush the hand of your partner, nor have a soft hand, nor fingertips. The handshake should be firm and straightforward.

Boys wearshorts. The stringvestsare to be avoidedexceptDamart when cold weather.It is unseemly(ievulgar) toreveal avestor poloin the openingofa collaropen shirt.

Do not be a bad player, stay calm, do not get excited. Be fair-play. Do not say “Oh, how lucky you are!” during a coup even hazardous of your partner, but “Well done.” In some extreme cases, in sport or games, let your partner win if you see that it really makes him feel a big pleasure.

Make sure, when giving the dish, to respect the protocol of women before men, and of the most important people in the hierarchy. Ladies first (except a member of the clergy), the oldest to youngest (excluding children : the latest), and also the proximity with those who receive (example: young woman of 22, a friend of the son of the family, pass before old 40 years cousin) and men (cross age and distance too). The hierarchy will be indicated by the table plan which has to be respected, special guests being placed alongside the hosts, to the right of the hostess for the guest number one man on her left for number 2 . Same for the woman invited number 1, to the right of the master of the house, etc. More you are far from the host and more you fall down in the hierarchy.

Do not call before 9am, nor after 9pm, as well as the alleged mealtimes. When you call someone, introduce yourself at first, state your identity and only then ask to speak to the desired person.

It is recommended, in the case of a wireless telephone, in a call from the outside, to only respond to tell the speaker to call again later, or that we call him back that very evening. If the telephone conversation is absolutely necessary, go into another room to do not disturb your guests, and shorten the conversation to a minimum. Do not, of course, speak loudly nor involve the whole world in your conversation, modern technology performs miracles in terms of sound quality.

Do not use the word “toilet” or “crappers” or “WC”. Prefer terms like “down the hall”, “where even kings go alone,” the “wawas”, “little corner”, “throne”, or the “cheugueudeugueux.” For the open fly, “the little bird will come out.”

Make sure of course, when you’re a man, to lower the window and flush the water before you leave. Do not hesitate, whenever possible, to leave the toilet as clean if not cleaner than when you arrived.

Always ensure that the glasses of your table neighbors are filled with water or wine. When the glass is empty, offer them before you serve yourself (same for bread, salt …)

When you move into a place, it is customary to invite your neighbors in the first few weeks, just to pretend to know each other. Also to identify harmful and those to who you can possibly borrow a corkscrew.

Avoid sudden driving, do not you turn macho driving, do not swear, do not honk at everything, do not be impatient.

Open the door to your passenger, offer her your arm to help to go out of your car.

When you park, do not glue the cars in front and behind, let them a little space to leave. Just to avoid reprisals.

Always “vouvoyer” people when you do not know and you do not have mutually and expressly authorized the familiarity. Age criterion?

When one helps you or provide a service, do not forget to make a gift to thank the person for his kindness.

Always introduce to the person, the most “important” first. Example: (mom) I introduce to you my friend (name) ; (name) this is (mom). Male to female, young to old …

The art of kissing of hands: for men, it is not only to stoop and pretend to kiss her hand, he needs to touch her lips. Pay attention not to raise the hand of the person you kiss: it is you who you tilt it up. Way for a man to greet a woman, with the exception of young unmarried girls (except if old girls) or members of the immediate family. To be used exclusively indoors, never in public places, with the exception of private gardens, or places such as horse races at Longchamp and some places exclusively for members of high society.

Send your condolences to the friends and relatives who lose a loved one, move to the funeral or religious ceremony if possible.

Dinners in place, do not try to change positions. The art of placement at the table is a hostess’ thing.

Never turn your back on your neighbors when you’re at the table. Stand up straight. You are not a mollusk or overcooked noodle. Do not drag their feet. Overcome the weight of your body.

If, unfortunately, you have children without being married, do not hesitate to marry later, it will be better than nothing.

When you have guests at your place, even for one night, supply towels and washcloth. Ask them what they want for breakfast. If you give them a room, always tap on the door and ask your guests permission to enter. Strictly respect the privacy of your guests and promote their welfare.

With the relative lapsed straps, adjust a belt on your pants.

Never forget the credo “thank you”, “please”, “hello” in all circumstances. Do not forget the “I’m sorry”. According to the caller, specify “Mr., Mrs., first name.” Do not hesitate to learn those words in the language of every country you visit. Do not say “sir, lady.”

Freshen your breath, avoid garlic for a tryst.

The neighbor at the table should help the woman to sit on her chair, in two movements: he goes behind the chair of the neighbor, take it back for her to sit, then he approaches it of the table once seated, so it is the right distance.

The men sit after the women.

The knives are placed to the right of the plate, blade facing the plate, and the forks to the left, back curved outward. The glass of water is placed to the left of the wine glass.

Do not take your head to the food, but your elbow goes up and approach the fork or spoon to your mouth. While you are likely to spill the contents doing, it forces you to take smaller portions. The head and back should remain straight.

Share your conversation with your neighbor equally between the right and the left one. When you talk to one of them only turn your head and not your shoulders, don’t turn your back on your other neighbor. Avoid shouting across the table if it is too big.

Never start eating (not even putting your hands over the utensils) until everyone was served and following the hostess. If she is distracted, casually ask permission to attack your plate before it cools.

Always let the couch to the woman, or the most comfortable seat. Let her also the seat that has the best view.

Learn how not to talk about your work unless you are asked questions about it, consider your work as a necessary evil that there is no need to discuss in private. Book your possible occupational stress at specific times, one-on-one and when you are sure you do not disturb your interlocutor.

Glass is taken by below (but not by its foot). Do not take it with both hands but gently. A cup is held by its handle.

Never disregard the wishes, it is a mandatory exercise or almost, just like you send your greetings to those you sent you some.

Respect others, do not always do “like at home”. Be alpha but not a big uncouth. Make good use of your knowledge… follow the law, do not harass, etc.

Remember that people who have good manners will never tell you what to say, or do, or what you should not have said or done: it would not be right, exactly. But trust them to notice it and tell others.

Let’s be clear. Obtaining from others everything you wish, on a simple order or a simple thought, that does not exist. On the other hand, becoming more convincing, so that you have more influence, is a real and accessible to everyone power.

The general method consists in persuading the manipulated that it is from him that comes the idea of the action to do; and especially to make him do a small step in that way. By nature, the man is congruent with his actions and will be made to continue what he believes having started by himself, even sometimes until his own destruction. The method of the good feelings is perfectly suited. It is necessary to think emotion and not logic.

Technique 1: the foot in the door

In fact, asking for a small favor to somebody is a good way to set up a “dynamics” of persuasion.

Technique 2: the door in the nose

The trick rests on the power of the human guilt. When you face the answer NO, you present the second request which is more reasonable (which is the real one from the start of course).

Technique 3: the principle of the delusion

The reason why the principle of the delusion works is because the person accepts the initial idea which is a very attractive offer. In the mind of this person, the “deal” has already been sealed. Then, you say that the promotion is not any more on the agenda, that you had forgotten this detail, and ask people if they still want to buy.

Technique 4: the error not so innocent

The key of the success is that the good points, which are promised at the beginning of the process of persuasion are real. Mask only the negative details and not the key elements of your proposal. Reveal them only when the target has already taken his(/her) decision.

Technique 5: an offer that nobody can refuse

After having made a speech on the fact that the proposal is good, you submit the request. But before the public has a chance to react, the announcer interrupts himself and adds: ” But wait, that’s not everything! We are going to offer you in addition XXX … ”

Technique 6: and what if we became friends

The creation of a link can also be the method to be used to get what you want. Tell to the person that you respect her. You can also use a common objective, such as the success of a project or your mutual desire to please the employer. There are several techniques for that purpose including the introduction of the positive (“my dear friends”, “dear fellow countrymen”) either to show some respect (sincere or calculated), for the target, or still to speak the language of the listener (who so finds his habits there), or creating some hope (Napoleon would have said that the leader is the one who is capable of selling some hope)…

Technique 7: fear then relief

When you set up a clear and urgent danger for the person, it makes more than simply draw the attention. But to be effective in the use of this technique, it is necessary to create this state of emergency by the fear. Then, you have to offer immediately the relief to this fear.

Technique 8: the red scarf

Example of a divorce in which we insist on having such precise object then at the last moment we pretend to give up reluctantly as compensation of something else (that we wanted in fact since the beginning). The other part will give it to us by thinking they have won.

Technique 9: the look

One of the secrets of a powerful look: the fixedness of the eyes. The exact point where we have to fix the subject is between both eyes or in the nose root.

Technique 10: body movements

As well as the look, the hands are powerful sources of magnetic influence. Manage your fingers towards her temples and you will facilitate her putting under hypnosis.

Technique 11: the foot in the mouth

The manipulator uses inquiring formulae of politeness with the aim of bringing a positive answer. For someone healthy: How are you?

Technique 12: the touch of the forearm

It is surprising but by touching the forearm without provocation (avoid the fixed look), we obtain afterward more easily what we want.

Technique 13: even tiny, your participation is welcome

Another technique which allows on average to obtain more than if we had said nothing.

Technique 14: classify emotionally the manipulated

A collector of the red cross would say: “your pharmacy is tidied up well, we see well that you like taking care of people”.

Technique 15: anecdotes and metaphors

Simply because they arouse the emotion, create images and by-pass the critical reflection. Funny stories, sad; anecdotes, proverbs, metaphors and quotes…

Technique 16: the double constraint

Suggest to your child choosing to go to bed either at 7:30 pm, or at 8 pm. He will probably choose the second possibility… And will go to bed with fewer difficulties than if you had compelling him to go to bed at 8 pm!

Technique 17: the chain of constraints

Example: you are not maybe not brave enough to understand my point of view…
This method leads the receiver to accept or to refuse in the run-up both ideas at the same time…

Technique 18: the humor

“Once you made people laugh, it means that they listen to you, and you can then tell them more or less anything.”

Technique 19: the choice of the terms

Certain terms have similar effects for everybody. “Love” and “freedom” have generally a positive effect. “Pain” and “detention” the opposite effect. This emotion leads to suspend the critical reflection!

Technique 20: the driving

It begins with a valid or demonstrable premise. If the target accepts this premise, it’s the first step. To convince of the validity of a sentence, the persuader will say “let’s face things, let’s be honest, that is why, as an expert, I etc.”. The persuader can then move on to less certain premises. Example: the paleontologists reveal that dinosaurs went out without human intervention, and we know that the human beings are not either responsible for the disappearance of the other animal species.

Technique 21: the questions

… Help to reveal the objective of the persuader as being an idea coming from the ” target”: do you want to sit down? Can you tell me your childhood?, etc.
… Can create some confusion if they are too much complicated or asked too quickly, so producing a certain anxiety, itself reducing the critical reflection. The persuader answers it then, reducing this anxiety while giving to the answer a not criticized value.
… Can contain new ideas or suggestions: why do you want a new car? askes the seller to the person who has hardly just addressed him and who does not really know what to choose…

Technique 22: the missing words

Create a sentence containing only one part of an alternative. ” It is obvious that this computer is much better!” The “target” will then be driven to wonder better than what? With regard to which other one… etc.

Technique 23: the missing information

The fact of not evoking a subject can persuade that it does not exist, so avoiding any discussion…

Technique 24: absolute

A vulnerable “target” will be attracted by absolute (“always”, “never”) which propose an end while destroying any possibility of debate. The terms “must” or “must not” also imply a kind of absolutism.

Technique 25: the reduction in the absurd

Very interesting and quasi-unstoppable method (we can only counter it by changing the level of the discussion): Take any idea and with a little of imagination push it to a logical extreme.

Technique 26: from the general to the particular and conversely

If we give you an example, say that it is only about a particular case. If we propose you a theory or an idea, say that it is too general.

Technique 27: the layout

Write a title, very big and very fat, which announces a “fact” (in reality, the propaganda which you wish to spread). Then a long article, complicated, possibly contradictory with the title, between very crunchy pages of advertising.

Technique 28: figures

This “technique” is a variant of the method of the authority, which uses the prestige of The Science. And when we show you a beautiful curve, what you can answer?

Technique 29: the choice of the words and their definitions

Example: our more and more evolved democracies, replace “video surveillance” by “video protection”.

Technique 30: “you are free of” makes slave

Paradoxically, the fact of feeling free of our choices leads us to accept more easily a request, because we are convinced that this choice is really ours. This method is also used to strengthen the effects of the “feet in the door” and other techniques.

Technique 31: “a little bit is better than nothing”

This kind of small sentence, “even a centime will be enough”, have the effect of increasing the impression that the organization really needs this money to be ready to content with so few.

Technique 32: the touch (brush)

In the experience of the students in statistics, Nicolas Guéguen proposes three tracks: The touch of the teacher increases the self-confidence of the student, either it leads him to validate himself by accepting more favorably his request, or still, it confers him a more positive mood which favors the access to a request.

Technique 33: the labeling forces to the action

The labeling (example: “you are brave”) allows the pupils to weave a link between their acts and what they are. It is interesting to create this link when the act goes in the direction of what we expect from them. They interiorize the idea that it is in their nature to be brave. They are thus more inclined to realize acts which imply their courage. This technique revealed that it had a bigger educational efficiency than an usual persuasion.

Technique 34: the repetition

For Zajonc (1968), “The simple repetition of a stimulus is enough so that it is gradually positively perceived” (advertising phenomenon, songs on the radio, faces of future stars or politicians…). Zajonc talks about “the familiar unknown”.

Technique 35: the feelings

The works showed that the emotional argumentations had more influence but all the feelings have not the same effect, example: the fear. Furthermore, there are nuances to be made on the emotional intensity of the message (ex, campaigns of road safety) :
– Message with intense fear: 8 % of change of behavior
– Message with moderate fear: 22 % of change of behavior
– Message with low fear: 36 % of change of behavior

According to Girandola (2003), who worked on this type of studies, the intense fear has effects on the opinions but not on the behavior. If the message frightens, it can engender defensive behavior such as the refusal of the information by the denial or a loss of credibility of the source.

Technique 36: the bombardment of love

We create a pseudo-family feeling and of membership by the embrace, the emotional demonstrations and the flattery. It is very effective because the individual feels at once taken in a new family, welcoming, etc. while the outside is demonized.

Technique 37 : The invention of words

The invention of words is a very useful technique. It allows to impose to the individual a particular language and, therefore, a particular thought (because we think with words). It also allows to give to concepts as old as the hills an appearance of novelty and change.

Technique 38 : The prediction of arguments

This technique is extremely useful in propaganda as in mental manipulation. It consists in predicting in advance the arguments of the opponents and in warning the listener that he will hear these arguments.

Technique 39 : The urgency

It prevents the man from thinking. This method is called “problem-reaction-solution”. We create at first a problem, a “situation” planned to arouse a certain reaction of the public, so that this one is himself an applicant of the measures whom we wish to make him accept.

Technique 40 : The gradation

To make accept an unacceptable measure, it is enough to apply it gradually, in “gradation”.

Technique 41: the deferred

Another way of making accept an unpopular decision is to present it as “painful but necessary”, by obtaining the agreement of the public in the present for an application in the future. It is always easier to accept a future sacrifice than an immediate sacrifice. At first, because the effort is not to be supplied at once. Then, because the public always tends to hope naively that “everything will be better tomorrow” and that the wanted sacrifice can be avoided in the end. Finally, it leaves some time to the public to become used at the idea of the change and accept it resignedly when the time will come.

Technique 42: the infantilisation

The more we shall try to cheat on the spectator, the more we shall adopt a childish tone. Why? If we talk to someone as if she was 12-year-old, then, because of the suggestibility, she will have, with a certain probability, a reaction so deprived of critical faculty like a 12-year-old person.

Technique 43: the truth is in the eyes

The movement of eyes is a lie detector.
– If you ask to your interlocutor what he did this weekend, eyes will go up & on the left because he remembers images already seen “visual remembering”.
– If you suggest to him not to think of reaching his goal or speak to him about a new spatial car, eyes will go most of the time up & on the right, he will build mental images relative to ever seen scenes, it is the “built picture”.
– If you speak about an already heard song: on the left in the horizontal (summit nose) what is a “hearing to remember”, your target remembers already heard sounds.
– When you ask her to sing some rap version Cabrel, she has to build her version mentally, eyes go on the right it is “hearing build”.
– By the used words, we hurt emotionally the interlocutor, the look goes down & on the right, she will feel sensations or feelings, positive or not: kinaesthetic.
– If they go down & on the left, it is the internal dialogue, she speaks to herself in her head.
If you ask somebody where he was the night of a murder and if the eyes are not going up & on the left (to remember) but rather up & on the right (built) then there are two possibilities: conductive inverted system (left-handed person), or lie.

Technique 44: the anchoring

Let’s imagine that you have already touched three times the shoulder of your target when she laughed. If now, you touch her shoulder in the same way as you touched her three times previously, she will feel the same feelings as when she laughed, when you put your anchor. All this, only by touching the shoulder (in other words, you have just sounded the bell without offering to her any food, but you nevertheless make her salivate as the Pavlov’s dog). It is only a normal reaction, her unconscious being used “to laugh” when you touch her shoulder, the same reaction occurs. Numerous seducers use the anchoring and some even place various anchors on their target, to make reappear various feelings (an anchored point of laughter on the shoulder, an anchored point of excitement on the elbow, an anchored point of romanticism on the hand, etc.)

But the anchoring isn’t limited to body movements, it can also adapt itself to the words. Let’s take the example of the sentence “I love you” which provokes at a large number of people, a sometimes disproportionate reaction. The same reflex can take place with other words, for example, if you are in connection with a girl for some time, whisper her in the ear a word that you usually tell her only during the intimate moments.

The anchor has to be the most unique possible :
It is the basic rule – If the gesture you used has nothing extraordinary and if you use it every day, there will be no association. Act differently, you can change your intonation, for example.

The anchor must be reproducible:
If you put an anchor that you can never reproduce, that will be useless. You have to manage to get closer as much as possible to the original anchoring as you wish to use the anchor, otherwise it will be much less effective.

During the anchoring, anticipate:
The anchoring is not immediate, is needed some time so that the information joins the subconsciousness. So, if you put the anchor at the height of a very strong emotion, it will be associated at the time of the decrease of this emotion, but it is not what you try to do, right? So, try to plan her feelings and get ready.

Anchors disappear:
They are not eternal. After a while (which depends on the intensity of the sensation) either after a too frequent use, the anchor risks not to work anymore. Think of renewing it.

Technique 45: the hypnosis

With questions, you make a person feel a feeling. Feeling that she will associate with you afterward. Everything that we want to make a woman feel (attraction, desire, fascination) is an internal process she manages with her body and her brain. You only have to ask questions which will bring her to use her body and her brain, and she will associate you with these sensations. Take a book on this subject if you are interested.

Detect somebody who lies:

– Looks away when he answers a question.
– Answers with the affirmative or the denial then tells you exactly the opposite.
– The communicator “avoids the question”, “clouds the issue”, evades or diverts.
– The person pouts a brief moment.
– He waits a moment before answering.
– The communicated information is partial: it is the lie of omission.
– The person mixes the tenses in his sentences.

Advise for all your problems in the future:

Know that a well asked question is half solved. For example : Freud « What do women want ? » => « How can we make them react favorably ? »

How to talk to her effectively?

a)    The chat

You must be able to improvise a little. The chat is very important. It is : to be funny, original and confident. This is avoiding boring topics (religion, politics, personal problems, money), and trying to see if you have points in common with her (education, interests, hobbies). Create a link as soon as possible! Observe the politicians!

b)    The timetag

The technique is used in two stages. First, during the conversation, you must explicitly mention an activity that you can do together and watch her reaction which will indicate her level of interest in this activity. If she responds positively, then you know that this activity would be a good potential date if she reacts negatively: you have to try again later with another activity.

c)    The sexualisation

You usewords like :sensuality,eroticism, desire, welfare, heat, momentout of time, violentattraction,desire, life, passion, fusionof the bodies…You aretactile.You makeinnuendo.You cannot beconfused with a”friend.”

d)    The silences

The obsession of a man seducing a girl can be “especially avoiding the break in theconversation.” Focusing on it, means forgetting all the things that actually create attraction in the conversation. But when you are with your good friends, your family, friends, etc … a moment of silence is seen as normal.

e)    The points of view

“Talking like her” is simply taking back to your account the ideas she likes the most. During your appointment, you will discuss many topics. Before giving your opinion on some of them, wait until she expressed her opinion, to resume it (rephrasing) a few minutes later.

f)     The synchronization

1) The synchronization of the movements :

At first, you repeat her movements, then you do them at the same time until she is reproducing your gestures. You became the leader of the discussion: you have the possibility to choose a direct or an inverted synchronization!

Creating some rapport means that the target is comfortable in our presence: she is not on her guard. We must act in a certain order. If your target moves her foot with a regular frequency, repeat this rhythm like tapping on your thighs with fingers. To attract a partner, you should copy her body position. Your attitude should reflect hers. When you are experienced, you can even copy your breath, your voice, etc.

2) The verbal synchronization :

The verbal synchronization comes from the same synchronization acceptance than the synchronization of the movements. It covers both the rate of speech, the power of the voice and its height (rather severe or acute for example) and the formulation used.

If you synchronize at the verbal level, you speak the language of the other:
– Vocabulary based on the main system of the target (VAK)
– Level of language;
– Subjective vision of the world, you know the person.

I go into a store to buy a computer and because I do not understand much, I want it to be Windows XP like on my old PC.

A) Failed synchronization:
“Hello, I want a computer with a large disk space because I download a lot of movies.” Seller: “We have this PC 40GB with a HD player and a superb integrated webcam I personally use and it is awesome!”
“40 what? I do not speak this language … I would use XP because it is easier for me.”
Seller: “Wow, this is old-fashioned, take at least Windows Vista or Windows 7, it will be nice to browse!” What a mistake! Compare this with a successful synchronization.

B) Successful synchronization:
“Hello, I want to buy a computer with a good disk space for watching movies.”
“Hello, you want to buy a computer? I suggest this one, disk space is large and you so can download many movies.”
“Very good and I would like to use Windows XP because it is easier for me.”
“This computer comes with Windows Vista but XP also works on it, we have it in CD-Rom, and I agree with you: it is easier.”

Reformulation:
This helps the creation of trust.

Reformulation verbatim:
“Hello I would like some information on this offer …”
“Hello, you would like information about our offer …”

Reformulation questioning and reformulation word for word in question form:
“Hello, I would like information on this offer …”
“Hello, so you want information about our offer …?”

A point reformulation is to take only the last words:
“Hello, I would like information on your offer …”
“… information on our offer?”

Reformulation interrupted, your partner will finish the sentence:
“Hello, I would like information about your …”; “Hello, you want information …”; “Yes, it is about your offer …”

The reformulation reframing:
It slightly changes the game, using other words than the interlocutor in order to make him understand that we understood what he meant. This can amplify the positive elements and helps transitioning effectively.

By modifying the data:
“I would like information on …”
“You want to know more about …”

Amplifying the positive:
“Hello, I was not very happy with my second order, but the two last made me happy.”
“Soyou werevery happy withour last twoorders!Know thatwe have a newsystem for processingorders I’ll show you …”

3) The not verbal synchronization:

It is the fact of sync on other things than words or body language:
– The volume of breathing ;
– Speed, flow, volume, tone of voice (do not overdo it!)

g)    Keywords

You must detect keywords in her speech, and then reuse them in your own phrases so she things that you understand her perfectly. Try to notice changes in her intonations – it will tend to focus on keywords. Locate her turns of phrase.

h)    Creation of feelings

These are feelings or messages that you need to create and make your target feel, describing a situation (eg the pleasure one feels when listening to music or eating chocolate). Adaptable to the desire to have a relation with you.

i)      Her wished values

You must go through three stages:
– Discover her Value Mask (eg tall boys).
– Questioning to discover her Desired Value (eg sense of security).
– Creating a link between you and DV.

j)      Ears

If you want to touch the sentimental side of the girl, you must speak to her in the left ear. If you want to make her see reason, or persuade her, you should rather aim right ear.

k)   No to « no »

If you ask her to go to the movies, for example, it is better to opt for “Wanna go to the movies?” Instead of “Oh, don’t you would like to see this movie?” Because in the second case, the message already contains a negation and this will influence her decision.

l)      The bridge towards the future

By pretending that you still will see each other in many months, the one that you are interested in will feel much safer with you, like if you were already close.

m)  The analogical marking

Ex: Did it ever happen to you to fall in love with a totally unknown man? Someone you just met? (with a hand gesture, you discreetly designate yourself.)

n)    The words to be avoided

Using “yes but” cancels everything. It cancels what is after and puts tension in the interaction. The “but” cancels only the words before and highlights the words that come after. The “and” preserves everything. Words to be avoided are : negative terms and those related to a problem because the unconscious does not receive a denial because it receives every word you speak as a direct suggestion that will turn into action as a change in your feelings.

o)    The metaphors

With these stories, which seem simple, you can send a message to the unconscious, without this solution is analyzed by the subject’s consciousness

p)    The proximity bubble

Perhaps you have already noticed or felt that you have been suspicious when a stranger approached too close to you to ask information; you would have preferred that the other person respects your Proximity Bubble. Do not sit in front of the person but in front of and a little on his/her right or left, and in an appropriate distance defined by the nature of your relationship with the target (professional, friendly …).

q)    Some other techniques of communication

Active listening:
To create a relationship of trust, we must be attentive to the information provided on both the conscious level and the unconscious level (verbal, non-verbal, para-verbal). We must calibrate IE observe to collect a lot of information. We must think and act accordingly to adapt the behavior and words. Must be consistent and convey the message effectively.

Indirect statements:
Do not make assumptions or statements that could be considered as such but rather admit that you do not know, or rather not yet… This is the low position “only those who are at the top of the mountain can fall!” The one who controls a situation is the one who knows how to adapt by showing behavioral flexibility!
“I was wondering if … I’m curious … Can you tell me … I would like to …” we ask for something indirectly!
“I was wondering if you could apply a discount on this item”
“I remind you that I have already applied a discount to your first product!”
“I was just sharing with you the question I asked myself, it was in no way a request but a personal question …”

The principle of positive intention:
“Everything has its purpose even if we do not always understand.”
It is a choice of map of the world. You will never know what the person in front of you really think so you can give the benefit of the doubt or better the one of the good intention. Life will so appear to you more beautiful.

Truisms:
State a truism to say something that is obvious “we feel better when we are well installed” or describe something undeniable “you have a red car”. The person cannot disagree. It puts him/her in good condition.

The yes-set:
This is a series of truisms, and then place a direct suggestion in an atmosphere of unconscious acceptance.
“You have changed your tie, black on this dark suit, it was red last week, you’re beautiful. Let’s sign this contract now!”
4 truisms and direct suggestion …

No-set:
This is the opposite of yes-set. A climate of denial is created in her mind.

Nominalizations:
They are vague and uncountable terms used to better speak the language of the other. Liberty, equality, fraternity, curiosity, knowledge, comfort, road, change, light, love, peace, emotion, life … are examples of nominalizations.

Links:
This allows you to link two sentences : interesting because the bonds are a method that facilitates the acceptance of a suggestion by a person : and, then, as well, so, while, …
“This steak is super good, we ate well, so now go and sign the order …” There is no direct link between the two things but hey it works!

The link between cause and effect:
“It is eleven o’clock so I will introduce articles that you like”

The dual-link
It is the choice between two proposals, but in fact it is only an illusion:
“You pay now or in one month?” doesn’t matter ’cause will pay for it.
“Do you prefer the black or the white computer?” doesn’t matter because will take one of the two.
“Want to rent the villa for the weekend or next weekend?” Same thing.

Presuppositions:
This is a subtext to maximize the chances of acceptance.
“When you will order one of our products, please call me before, I have something to tell you.” Here, we mean that the customer will order something. In addition, we play on the curiosity because we will explain something but only after the order… “When you will do this / please do that”

Omissions:
Here, in fact, we do not specify the object of the sentence. This is the other one who should imagine. For example: I think I would agree. Compared to what? Let the subconscious work.

Take a step back:
Put yourself in the shoes of someone who saw the scene from the outside. Get to the point!

 

 

Results of experiments :

– The look helps increasing the rate of acceptance of a request.

– The rarity of a promotion leads customers to take the proposed product.

– The physical appearance of the canvassers increases significantly their effectiveness in obtaining donations: in the minds of people, “what is beautiful is good.”

– The technique of “a little is better than nothing” works well.

– Atypical requests lead more people to seek a better justification therefore it’s a better idea to single out our request to maximize our chances.

– A transgression came true in situation of anonymity, with masks, but disappeared when we had beforehand asked them for their name and their address.

– Male students, who had to deal with the attractive girl interlocutor, have significantly changed their point of views about the educational reforms than students who had to deal with the same interlocutor, but unattractive (no makeup, badly dressed).

– The fear appeals do not have the efficiency that one could give them at first. The subjects who were exposed to messages with the least fear appeals changed the more their attitude.

– Everything is more successful to those who touch their fellows. Success, persuasion, seduction, social domination. Still better : touch reduces social conflict, raises more motivation among students and better management of medicines by patients.

– The rule book seems to be : the act of touching a person is exercised by people who are in a position of dominance. Initiate tactile contact is therefore a way to try to establish an implicit hierarchy. This requires to be confident, but the audacity pays because negative reactions are rare: studies between men and women showed that women always accept the tactile contact (courtesy) from a man and it is almost always the case between two men too, except in the special case of homophobic guys.

 

You understood, these techniques are widely used in the sale. But nothing prevents their use in the context of seduction, where you would sell YOURSELF.

General remarks :

When the first contact is established, the girl is going to communicate with you. She is going to throw you some lines whom you should not miss. If you manage to seize these opportunities, you will have big chances to quickly communicate with her and interest her. Seize THE interesting subject which will inspire her or which will make her speak about herself. For it: a good listening and a lot of concentration. People adore speaking about themselves!

Favor the open questions because they will bring a person to get involved and to speak with you. We cannot answer it by yes or no and you thus can bounce.

Direct positively her answers « what did you like in ___ ? » rather than « did you like this ___ ? »

Don’t be afraid of not beginning with serious subjects, master the art of the commonness. It is certainly what I hate the most.

What makes your interest is not the subject in itself but the way you approach it, your way of handling it. It is the originality! To be original, start by being yourself. That is to say speak about things you like. It is in the expression of your passions and interests that will underline your natural freshness. In the same way, if you wish to seduce a woman, it will be necessary to you to make her speak about things that interest her.

To make her talk, imagine that every new meeting has to give rise to a short history. The woman to whom you speak always has to tell you her short history. You too have yours to be told. But you wil have to listen to hers if you want to be listened. Especially as her story will condition yours : We often answer an anecdote by other one of the same type. Who? When? What? Where? How?

Have a LITTLE OF culture and keep connected a minimum about the current events (newspaper, TV, etc.) : It is not necessary to spend hours on this, if the world collapses, one shall tell it to you…

During the sexual selection, if we tell something that she does not want to hear, no matter if it’s true, that kills the chances of the member of the male. By being completely honest or killjoy, we thus have fewer chances to succeed!

Do not swear as a truck driver. In any case not before knowing her better than that.
Show automockery, for example about your fat. That will make her laugh.
Do not spend your time to compare her with your ex (or worse with your mother).
Do not speak about yourself at the third person, except to make some humor.
Do not put yourselves in the center of all the subjects as if everything was related to you.
Do not get confused if she does not laugh in one of your jokes!
Do not imagine yourselves the date before being there, it is counterproductive!
Talking about sex is the first stage to make it, but use a sexual humor not needy. Use small nicknames creates a complicity, if you feel at ease. The seduction is not something which really puts into words …

 

About what not talking to a woman that you want to seduce?

What you speak about is not the most important, however, it is necessary to be very careful in what you do not have to speak about:

– Negative things on her (you have to change her mind, to make her have fun);
– Negative things on you (show nevertheless small weaknesses) ;
– What shows that you have a low status, that you are a loser;
– Controversial subjects (example, the gay marriage);
– If she speaks about religion or about politics: try to not disagree if not in agreement;
– The boring subjects for the women (soccer, technology, video games);
– The subjects technical or logical as the fact that your card has 1GO of RAM;
– The vulgar subjects (poo, fart, etc.);
– The offensive subjects (as liking mistreating animals or babies);
– Her ex or a guy who she could still like;
– The sex: do not put it into words. If she speaks about it, joke as if that had no importance, show that you feel at ease and change subject. Be excited but do not speak about it too much and wait that she is as excited as you;
– Not too many questions: you are the guy with whom it was a good match at once;
– What gives the impression of having been planned (the unforeseen is exciting);
– The romanticism before the sex;
– A little of humor but not too much: she has to take you seriously all the same. Etc.

 

About what talking to her ?

(Interesting) anecdotes, of what happened to you recently, TV programs, movies, music, celebrities, the food (places and dishes), the holidays (places where you went), your passions, the differences men/women, shoes (they are quite fascinated by shoes) Etc. Express your opinion, speak by affirmative.

Do as if you knew her for a long time and were in total confidence.

To excite her sexually, you have to excite her emotionally at first. When you tell something, make her feel the feelings which you felt over the moment with your words and your intonations.

If you say something hardly funny: she will laugh if you have a good connection together. Make some “spiritual” observations, from time to time!

Turn on the women, tease them on the answers which they give to your questions, the way they are dressed, their whims or their manners.

Give her a slap onto buttocks if she says a naughty thing or throw her a ball of paper with a player face. Consider her as a funny younger sister.

The person who has the strongest feelings can contaminate a group of people. Be relaxed and excited sexually thus, and prolong the interaction until she is in the same state as you. You will so create the conditions favorable to a sexual act.

An attractive man is a man who has sex thus that is not really important for him. So that a woman has her attention, she has to deserve it. It is not the opposite: he is a challenge and nothing is beforehand won for her.

The obstinacy can make you fuck even if you fucked up the rest. Wait that she puts into words the rejection before leaving frustrated instead of trying to interpret signals.

Leave the principle that she is attracted to you because most of the human relations are directed by what we would like they to be. She will then be influenced. Furthermore, you will thus not make any beta behavior error in this way.

Don’t try at all cost to say what is needed because you would look like seeking for her approval, and it is not a good thing. By having a good body language, a self-confidence, a good physical appearance and an interesting life: The women who are not ice-cold will find you fuckable.

If she asks: “what made you want to speak to me? Do you tell it to all the girls?” Don’t try to give the good answer, play the indifference because if you worry about what she thinks, you give her the control while you have to be the one who leads the game! You have no duty to amuse her, only to interact with her.

Anyway, if you are not any more a challenge for the girl, you will be less attractive! She has to make efforts for you! The key is your state of mind! You will maintain the sexual tension. For example, if you get ready to kiss her, you approach her lips, then you stop, you withdraw by smiling. Small test: tell her “you like me” in a condescending way, if she says that no by laughing at you, then she probably likes you. You are in control, thus do not especially say “what do you wanna do?” but rather do it by letting smooth a small mystery.

Surprise her with ideas, unexpected fantasies. Do not forget that you have the class, the culture, the discipline, the dominance, the brain, the happiness, the adventure, the voluntary, the expertise, the attention, the indifference (challenge), the charm (soft and polite), the imagination (artist), the sexual control…

Do not forget to affirm yourselves: you say YES (constructive attitude) or NO (childish or destructive attitude). You take a stand and punish her if she acts badly.

Notice the small details: it is not a coincidence if she has a sexy dress, if she is made up or if she has the clean hair. It is for YOU!

Try to sit down as close as possible to her: less than 40cm and both feel at ease with the fact of touching you… And this interaction could lead you in her bed!

Evoke the friendship: she will try to make you become sexual. If you evoke the sex, she will become afraid. It is you who decide if you want to go farther with her.

If you speak about your ex, do it in positive terms because you go out only with valuable girls and she will not say to herself that you will speak badly about her in her back like that.

Very important: THE GIRLS ADORE THAT YOU THINK OF THEM. By saying “I was thinking about you, thus I wrote to you”, the girl in question will have a kind of click. It seems that they like the small presents, not for their value, but because they imply that you think of them and that the present is only the symbol of that. But well…

You must be ready to leave her at any time, if you don”t like the girl any more. There is no obligation to conclude even if you are in a date. If she does not please you, too bad for her and then that’s it. It is always possible to leave! Keep it in mind!

Here is the standard sequence of human relationships:
1) The eye contact
2) The verbal contact
3) The face-to-face verbal contact
4) The contact hand over the arm / the shoulder
5) The contact mouth-to-mouth
6) The contact hand over genitals / breast
7) The contact mouth on genitals
8) The sexual intercourse

If your target shows you signs of relationship (synchronization of her language of the body, she touches you, laughs with you), then you are on the right way. From time to time, go away from her to show that you are not too needy.