Let’s start with a simple definition: the frame can be defined as the set of mental conditions that give direction to everything that happens in an interaction.
The frame is, literally, the general framework of interaction: this is the reality as it is apprehended by the communicators involved.
It is a concept of communication in the wide sense, not just something to pick up chicks.
Derived notions : reframe and outframe
The trick is to reinterpret the meaning of what the other says to turn it to our advantage. “I will not sleep with you tonight (do not want to look like an easy girl)
– Are you afraid to reach a too powerful orgasm ?”
The principle of outframing is to change the course of the discussion by taking height. “You’re a stranger, we are not going to sleep together so fast
– Really ? Isn’t it exactly very exciting to have sex with a stranger? ”
The purpose of placing a good frame in the interaction
The frame will cause thoughts that will cause a result. In fact, the power of the frame comes from the creation of new thoughts, new ways of seeing things, which produces a result.
I prefer communicating that “having sex is normal and natural” rather than “only the big whores fuck on the first ate.” In my reality, the woman wins as much or more than me when she sleeps with me… so she must deserve sex as much as me. This frame is strong, and it prevents me from being a patsy. But I cannot say it point blank to a woman, it would not be credible, although it is reality. MY reality.
The goal of this method is to train yourself to see things as it suits you without becoming blind and to share your world with the girl you like.
X, Y and Z
It is possible to redefine the action, behavior or thing (X); to redefine the meaning of the action (Y) or to redefine the subtle implication (Z). In fact, we have the choice to either keep X and change Y or to keep Y and then change X or to keep the chick-test intact but to change the Z (the more often in a humorous way).
The redefinition 1 make her notice that if I wanted to do X with the meaning she assumes my action (my X) would have been rather like this (reframe). “If I wanted to pick you up, you’d already know it, I would rather kiss you.” Kissclose.
The redefinition 2 is to informally recognize our action (X) but we redefine the meaning of it (the Y). “Yes I have approached you, but that’s not why it’s beforehand won for you. ”
The redefinition 2 is to question what she has just concluded (Z) : make it look ridicule or turn it toyour advantage. “Because I paid you a drink to kiss you, you think I’m a patsy? I I did because you deserve it with your good conversation. ”
Concrete examples
We can :
– Discredit what she said by claiming that she does not even believe herself what she says (for example by making them aware that they like you) ;
– Affirm the girl uses a shit-test only because she has a naughty intention in her mind (it is playful and allows to reverse the situation);
– Ask if she tests you because she likes you and hopes to sleep with you if you are not a patsy (curveball). ;
– Just ignore when she says things that are not going in the right direction (but careful with that one you should not imagine things anyway … just ignore her fucking headaches and internal dilemmas).
One can also try to impose some form of framework in the interaction to influence or at least to make things easier. “Will you come to my place tomorrow or on Friday night?” Will be more successful than“do you want to meet again one day? “
But hey, that’s pure and simple communication. Almost marketing. Work out your split, your puns and your innuendos! 😉
Imposing a frame
The frame can be verbal or non-verbal, real or just perceived. In this sense, everyone can impose a frame. For example, a girl who says she only wants a serious relationship: you can now invite her to reconsider things. Btw, if you read my blog, you know all the arguments in favor of “carpe diem“.
Confrontation of two frames
Where things get complicated is when women will try to impose their frames to see if they can get all of you (basically I don’t want them to eat your arm when you give them your hand).
If, for example, you approach a girl in a bar and she tells you after five minutes “Are you flirting with me? You pay me a drink? “Here she involves things that lead to the conclusion that she is the price in the interaction.
In a case like this where you lose control of the interaction, a reframing or outframing seem necessary. For example, “You’d love that I try to seduce you, right?
– Yes
– So why do you need me to buy you a drink? ” or “no
– Then why have you still your face so close to mine? (No need to attack her immediately, saying that she is a venal girl it depends on her answer but that risks to block her.) ”
Once upon a time, a girl approached me to ask me a cigarette. I said, “you took me for a âtsy or something? Find yourself a cigarette and come back picking me up without excuse if you want it. “She came back and I picked her up. This is the strongest frame that theoretically leads to the result. It is more difficult when there’s two stubborn persons. You have to be a little bit more flexible in this case!
Having a strong frame, is precisely defining yourself, knowing what you want and what you do not want. Normally, our frames naturally merge with your own identity because they logically come from it when you are in tune with yourself. If you’re not naturally capable to enough affirm yourself, fake it until it becomes natural.
Warnings
The problem of too strong reframing is that you would start a conflict, and it could block her. We must deal with you sympathy capital too.
The problem is that it can sometimes upset the chicks to be reframed. Or it could make sound the “alert inconsistency” in their minds if they are very conditionned. In the first case, be understanding if you’ve really been too aggressive with your words. In the second case, there’s not much to do…
Personally, I prefer to jump in it quickly to see if my frame is accepted by the chick. If it is not, I try to convince her. Otherwise, bye bye!
That said, in a closed circle like in high school, in a promo, or in a sports club, I think it is better to more take your time, to be more “civilized” and more subtle.
But against in NPU, SPU or online with unknown, no more excuses for not jumping into the crowd (it’s a metaphor) !!! And interactions should not last 1000 years or you risk the Friendzone the weariness and oblivion.
Conclusion
This argument shows us once again that communication is at the heart of seduction (and of many other areas). My advice: read books to better communicate and it will tremendously help you in life!
I’m writing today to explain why people are wrong when they hate PUAs (they do not even know exactly what they are talking about) and I will dismantle a lot of misconceptions about the PUAs at the end of my text .
A/ Ten more than rare qualities that have PUAs
Fasten your seat belts !
1/ We are men who “have balls”
The balls to go on the field and confront our fears instead of stupidly staying quietly suffering the fate that others have planned for us. We have ambition and are showing fighting spirit, we come out of the mold. That’s what pisses of a lot of men !!! Most guys are in denial, because it prevents them from making efforts and moving their ass, etc. In short, they are sheep. Some are afraid of wolves, me it’s clearly the herd that scares me sometimes … I just have to watch TV to observe this phenomenon.
2/ We are men with values
PUAs are probably not better nor worse than other people, basically. But we follow a code of honor. And we respect women: we are more feminist than average because we accept their right to sex. We are more respectful than the average because we also do not insult nor anything in the street. Finally, a woman who has fun is not for us “a slut”.
There is also a certain solidarity within the PUA community. For example, right now, one of my Padawans is in my apartment when I spend the weekend with my parents. Indeed, he suddenly found up on the street and he had no other solution. We are in a spirit of cooperation, sharing, not only of our knowledge. Solidarity is lost… the real, I mean, not that is only is not based on words.
3/ We are sincerely interested in understanding people
Frankly, since I was in college, I would like to understand women. But at first, I did it the wrong way : I asked directly to my girl-friends (with whom I did not sleep) what they liked or not and why. And none really knew me how to explain. Then they were banging guys very, very far from what they described.
I have started to take off when I discovered the seduction community. And those guys who exchange on the subject do love women … they do it FOR them but also FOR women.
We read a lot, we want to become cultivated, and we are forced to take an interest in human psychology in general to progress and understand social dynamics. So we look at humanity in general, not just women, even if they are the starting point of a long road that we will travel…
When I arrived in Lyon, 9 months ago I did not know anyone but I ha ve immediately been welcomed into a LAIR and made a lot of friends there and I also met a lot of girls thanks to pickup. That makes us sociable guys !!!
4/ We are men with culture
We read a lot. On many different topics. We try to understand how these things work, to think for ourselves and we agree to questioning. This demonstrates a certain form of intelligence. All people have are not capable of questioning themselves, far from it!
We make a lot of personal development and we improve in many areas indirectly because seduction is a multi-disciplinary. We finally becomes more philosophical in everyday life and perform better in all areas of life (eg we communicate better at work so we get better works).
5/ We are more open-minded than average
Inevitably, cultivating, it opens the mind. But for this you have to be curious and agree to try things. There is therefore a somewhat adventurous spirit, explorer behind the PUAs (we don’t want to die stupid, we want to know what is behind the glass wall)… Those who have not it and refuse to develop it will usually not go very far in the community.
It offers an alternative vision of reality, basically, we are creative. We don’t foolishly swallow the unique thought of the speech without filtering it to see when we are taken for idiots.
6/ We are more positive than many other
By facing our fear and dismantling our limiting beliefs, we actually are face to face with ourselves. So we learn to know ourselves. The game is a way to accept ourselves.
Because we confront the looks of others, mostly women, but also criticism in general, we become stronger, we assume more. And, unlike most people, we will not impose on them the burden of our own insecurities. We are thus less boring: there is less frustration than average into us and therefore we are more positive. Although the future that emerges is not necessarily beautiful, we know that how to to appreciate the small pleasure of life and we do not deny it! Carpe Diem !
7/ It inspires young people with a future
I have readers who have written to me to tell me they had taken off thanks to my blog. And it has not only allowed them to pick up chicks, it has especially given them the desire to take charge of their entire lives.
There are a lot of cute and smart guys who just don’t know how to approach, should we let them suffer ? We make them and the women they meet happy, this way.
8/ We are more honest than the average
We are more in contact with our instincts, our deepest nature, we don’t take headaches with stupid social conventions, which allows us to be more forthright.
We are not the type who turns a thousand years around the bush, to confuse the girl or what: we reveal our intentions quickly. Who cares, we can afford it, because we act in a way that gives us the choice. And therefore we cause our luck.
After that, it is of course possible that honesty and all that bothers most people who prefer ambient hypocrisy. But I think as Kurt Kobain that “It is better to be hated for what you are, than loved for what you are not.”
9/ We empathize
We listen and try to understand the others. This is the basis of the game. There’s no manipulation nor anything like that in what we do, contrary to received ideas.
On the contrary, when you have been very humiliated (by chicks in this case because they are often not kind to us), it normally makes you more humble, more human. Finally, in any case, it was my case. I was able to overcome a lot of my neuroses and all that shit through the game, so I have never wanted to make people suffer with this new power I acquired, I rather seek to do good around me.
Empathy and experience we acquire, are particularly apparent in the fact of not being selfish in bed. Basically, the PUA is a good leg. It’s maybe what pisses off the other guys, who instead of working on themselves prefer criticize us on Saturday night on the forums.
10/ We affirm more than others
Many people tend to live through another (eg the beloved) or through others (the look and the judgment of others) while it’s very important to know how to think about yourself sometimes, by yourself. To do things for yourself, for your personal enrichment. This is what we do, while remaining modest, because we understood that there is no need to be a God to sleep with a lot of girls.
It pisses a lot of people off because, contrary to popular belief, we do not need to have a big bank account nor to pay bottles to fuck chicks. But thinking otherwise arranges the guys to justify that they are zero “I have no money I can’t do anything” and also arranges venal chicks (not all thankfully but a lot among small brains).
The game is one of the form of personal development the least costly and the most effective out there. It has certainly helped avoiding a lot of suicides. Not like the politically correct psychologists that pump the money of their patients awaiting a miracle cure… and lecturing them when they start picking up in the street (it’s out of social conventions). “This is manipulation” or “you’re a shit to seduce just be natural.” Their agreed and false speech, coming from professionals, shows how society is ignorant and obscurantist. In addition, we may think that they are not happy something can motivate alsmot for free while they cost €50 per hour for doing nothing. OK, the pickup can create some neuroses (the guys who know everything by heart and who love quibbling) but eventually we overcome our obstacles and heals more neuroses than we created.
When I read some self-called “seduction coaches’ claiming that the PUAs do not exist (to justify their incompetence), I want to throw myself naked from the fourth floor, shouting obscenities. And if everyone stopped a bit to shoot the others in the legs in this little world, wouldn’t it be cool? Of course the PUA, it exists … we are not E.T.
The game it’s 80% of inner game, skills of communication and tsome nerve.
B/ Dismantling of misconceptions about the PUAs
We would be men who give advice to allow our peers to sleep with any woman. But damn, I’ve said it 1000 times, there’s no magic formula : only multiple approaches and personal development.
In our advice, the woman’s consent would never the issue center. It’s really absurd to say this: we personally improves to please more women in order that they are of course willing. A PUA is not a rapist…
The pickup, it is not natural. Oh and the society in which we live, it is natural? You have to adapt, that’s all. With the game, one learns to get closer to his instincts while remaining civilized. Like Snipe wrote : a good player never thinks about the technique when he approaches a girl. He doesn’t say to hilself “I use this technique to achieve such a result.” The good player, the one who masters his art forgets the art, and he becomes what is called in the PUA jargon … a Natural.”
Basically, we appropriate concepts, that’s all. Then, they are part of us, eventually. Finally, we become ourselves, but the real “ourselves”, not the one who is stifled by social pressure and all that crap.
A Natural alpha is a guy who has success with the girls without all the time asking himself any questions. A PUA is therefore higher in this scale because he “controls” the whole process from A to Z. However, in time, we become a Natural, even if our game loses a bit of its spice: by not controlling everything, we certainly have a little less performance but at least it is more authentic and it is not too much a headache. The goal of the pickup is to become ourselves but the ” alpha ourselves ” that is successful with women and in life in general, this time. Not the “victim ourselves”. We become a stronger man, for us and for women.
We are not bastards nor consanguineous oxen, as some like to believe. But that, they will never know because the morons will never read this text until the end. And you ?
We, the French, are stressed at the moment of approaching, we must also work on ourselves to learn how to be more attractive in order to don’t be too ridiculous in front of women… while women, they just have that to answer “yes” or “no.”
And sometimes they even judge or criticize openly our approach… while they would not be able to make a quarter of the efforts that have made to approach.
Indeed, they perhaps believe themselves able to do it but if they decided one day to do it, they would feel what the anxiety approach is (unimaginable) and would probably be paralyzed or would freak out.
Not only chicks do not approach in France, but in addition they are used to justify it with “it is your job to do it guys” and are often in the resistance from the beginning to the end of the interaction (even if they are happy in fact).
So what is really hidden behind this attitude ? Why (at best) simply sending us signals when they could very well approach (given that often they do not even bother to give us signs of interest and expect it falls all cooked)? I speak in this article of course about approaching “out of our social circle.”
1/ Anxiety approach
As I said above, unless you have tried to approach an unknown to pickup, we very rarely have the opportunity to feel the approach of anxiety in everyday life. Women so maybe do not know you can feel it, so many do not understand why you might be afraid to take the first step towards them.
They therefore conclude that you are not interested. And they are enough approached like that so why trying to have other men than those who approached them ? (Passive attitude). Well, I’ll tell you on target: to better be able to choose their sexual partners!!!
2/ Social conventions
The fact that this is the role of the men to approach is only a cultural data. Certainly they do not want to be though as sluts, but who said approaching would make them sluts? The social conditioning, of course. They are feared of judgment.
Some guys are afraid of girls who approach so much this is not usual. Or they confuse “being approached” and “getting turned.” To prevent these abuses, women prefer playing those who have not noticed us like they are advised in women’s magazines (and it’s hard to make the girl who did not notice us if they approached us).
3/ They protect their ego
Many guys would consider that a girl who approached them could very well approach many other guys. They would therefore often label her as “easy” (or bitch for short) and she would lose credibility. This is of course not her wish.
In case of rejection, she would feel like undergoing a fucking social humiliation (less one takes rakes harder it is). That said it’s not what prevents them from trying to humiliate us sometimes. “Do not do to others what you would not like they do to yourself,” says the proverb. Because the guys are supposed to never say no, imagine her hearing no, she would feel like the worst of the ugliness…
Most women have never been turned down by a man in their lives. Or once vaguely in school and still remember it then they never want to relive it.
In the series “I do not assume” : by leaving us approaching and leading the interaction, they think cannot be held responsible for what happens (SEX).
4/ They test Men
Officially, hey therefore let the Man approach to check if the man is able to take action. But this test is more than ridiculous. They lose a lot of good opportunities by doing so. Because all the “good guysy” do not approach unknown so far.
5/ They are fatalistic
Many people in our society are deeply convinced that to find someone, it “must happen on its own.” They think therefore it’s absurd to try to provoke things when it comes to love (approaching). They believe in fate only when it suits them (not moving their ass).
6/ The cult of beauty
These invisible barriers that exist between men and women are fodder for women’s magazines that give advice and for those who enrich themselves on the fact that women want to be very beautiful. Why ? To incite men to approach them, of course!
That said, if we were wearing make-up or something like them, it would be useless and then we would be ridiculous.
7/ The solution for women?
Until we become a country a little more feminist (which would suit men too because between the two it’s full of paradoxes), the indirect approach seems the most suitable solution for women to approach men they like.
Be careful, not like a big slut like “if you pay me a drink / gives me a cigarette I will give you a kiss” (in this case it’s strange the bitches do not feel social pressure… because they do not give a shit about the guy in fact).
Rather, by asking something that costs nothing and offering a helping hand for the conversation to continue. It will allow them to more choose men at their taste rather than waiting water like a green plant. Finally, I say this for those who complain of being unhappy in love and do nothing concrete for getting the guys they want.
8/ No female can be a PUA
Obviously, in a country where the guys are almost all sex starved, there cannot be any female PUA. It would be too easy for them. Or : she must be an ugly woman.
9/ On the Internet it is easier
On the Internet it is easier for them to approach me. And quite a lot do it on Adopt and Tinder. So they seem to be more afraid of the rake IRL because it hurts less when it is virtual (just no answer and no one else knows about it).
10/ And in the other countries?
This attitude of women seems to be a French specificity, and probably also in the US and in countries where the game has developed.
The French myth women camp until men come (and are finding it completely normal and never ask whether it is the same elsewhere because it suits them to don’t get out of their comfort zone) is confirmed when we know that :
A/ The Australian girls take more initiatives than in France. The gender relations there are more “balanced” and behavioral differences between girls and boys are attenuated.
B/ The Spanish girls are much more open than the French girl and it is not uncommon that they sleep with men on the first night without that one of them think these are easy girls. This is even sometimes them who approach the boys.
C/ In Quebec, it is not unusual to be approached by a girl, often accompanied by a girlfriend (to give courage). Sometimes they even ask you what you would like to drink and pay you a drink. Then if the conversation goes well, they will ask for your phone number. The boys will tend to let the girls seduce them.
D/ In Norway, girls are really direct, flirt openly, which is absolutely not the case with our women.
E/ In short, it is often the case in countries such as Argentina, where women are more numerous than men, but there’s nothing guaranteed anyway. If one really has no passive seduction, banging models will not happen (at least for free).
My conclusion
Personally, I like independent women, who take their lives in hand, and with some character.
Contrary to what is conveyed in the collective unconscious, a woman who approaches does not destroy the virility of men. Because you must be very confident to face this kind of women and be up to it.
But if that were the girls who were most sexually frustrated and not the guys, maybe that insecurity would drop because they are less stupid than us in terms of violence and especially the males would still have a polygamous instinct so we could satisfy most of women if not all and so maybe everyone would see life in pink.
Finally, I would say that parity would be the best solution. Not only women nor only men would approach. Everyone could take their destiny in hand. If only women approached, the guys would become softies without balls: you should not take that as an excuse to soften but instead to take the entire society up. Also, it would be good that women are aware that it is difficult to approach and that when they send us violently to Hell (or disrespect us in a way or another), that’s inappropriate behavior if one has not been really a pain in the ass for them.
Finally here’s an article to inform you about certain “incomprehensible” attitudes that may have women.
1 / Why girls sometimes reject you while they want you ?
I’m talking here about every forms of close: from the numclose to the fuckclose through the kissclose. And I’m speaking only of girls who are interested in fact. Girls with whom the interaction is sexualized.
There is of course the setting of social pressure (conditioning) to consider. They are afraid that you judge them as easy, to judge themselves as easy (for the chicks who let stupid principles govern their lives) or a third judge them as such.
There is the parameter “fear”, that is to say, it stresses them to get naked in front of you, they do not know if you’re not going to hurt them by mistake or I don’t know what (a buddy has already broken the hip of a girl by fucking her too hard). They are people who put too much pressure on themselves, such as those who are playing the sexually fulfilled chicks but who in fact do not know much but they want to warm you, then they are caught at their own game because talking about this with you turned them on… but they do not dare to sleep with you because they have oversold themselves and are afraid to disappoint you, to don’t be up to you, etc.
Many people (not just women) are too lazy to move their ass for getting what they want in life. Thus, many postpone almost everything (procrastination or unlimited perfectionism) unconsciously to stay in their comfort zone, consciously because they have not shaved their pussy or anything to be sure they won’t have sex. To defuse this kind of attitude, we must see if the girl is using avoidance strategies or not. If she has always an unexpected excuse when you planned to meet up but make counterproposals and wets when she talks to you, cheesy! In this case, it is surely a case of use of avoidance strategies (why going to yoga just the night she planned to meet up with you while she may very well go there another night?) You can discuss with her to reassure her or you can next her because the conflict is between HER and HERSELF! She is in conflict with what she deeply wants.
It can also be a test. Sometimes chicks refuse once just to see how the guy will react to rejection. If you become violent, with a threatening behavior or if you become unsympathetic, you really risk losing the deal. Remember that an alpha male is certainly persistent (you have to show a little motivation without becoming needy) … but he is especially fair play and respectful.
Finally, there’s the bad experiences they had. You should know that most guys are bad in bed… therefore they may say to themselves you’re probably going to disappoint them, that fantasy is better than reality, etc. There are bastards who use women as objects : the kind who fuck them and ignore them, who fuck them without a condom then let them with the problem of the morning after pill, or who ejaculate but do not care if the girl enjoyed or not (fucking selfish). There are finally the too nice boys who will put too much pressure on the girls just because they slept together: the kind who wants a couple, consider engaged after a kiss, she should meaningfully held to account in the future and everything … help!
There’s the girls who have instincts but are afraid of it. Others who have already fucked another guy the day before and therefore are tired but will not confess you the reasons. Others who accept meetings in a pre-established framework “I want a serious relationship.” That is to say that those girls use sex as a tool to make a man faithful, who do not always fully live sex like that it may be the case of those who enjoy the present moment. In this case, if you do not want to get engaged in a complex thing, I think it is better for you to say no even if you want to fuck her. Because the price would be too high for some carnal pleasure that you would withdraw in (profit vs. benefits)! Or you can just lie to her in order to fuck her but it’s really not very ethical so I do not encourage this…
Cool, cool, relax everyone !!!
2 / Why do many girls avoid saying “no” directly when they do not want?
Most women in this situation say anything but yes, instead of just saying no. The problem is that sometimes they use grotesque apology or anything and this is frankly ridiculous. In addition to taking a rake, you feel taken for idiots and it is a pain in the ass! Men are direct, indirect women. Yes, but…
The first thing to know is that they want to protect themselves from a bad reaction. There are guys who absolutely not tolerate rejection. They might be charming at first, if they are told “no”, they become aggressive. They do not want to be insulted or worse, get hurt. So they let the guys expect until they are physically protected.
This is because there are a lot of little assholes not civilized and not intelligent outside that we are entitled to such a level of hypocrisy in our male/female interactions. We pay for the mistakes of others!
The second thing to know is they are taught from an early age the fact to preserve the male ego. So even if they do not want you, they do not necessarily want to discourage you. They will kick into touch, in this case, because of their politeness. Hoping you will understand (hoping you understand their language, their logic). Or, too bad for you.
And that’s still the positive side of the coin. There are bitches that would break in two the nice guys making their first clumsy approaches and who would discourage them for life. But hey, letting good guys hoping for nothing, it is also cruel. They are left dazed and confused, scratching their heads wondering why women are so illogical.
Anyway, everyone sees noon at his door. And we will not change the world tomorrow… so in the meantime, let’s adapt and play with the rules imposed by society. My conclusion: when you do not hear a “yes” enthusiastic and sincere, do not make plans on the comet.
One can nevertheless get reassured by saying “they do not assume” but it does not remove the obligation to assume, us, on our side. This is not because people do things that we do not like that we must do the same. It applies to every craps of the world.
Having FC on every field (street/Internet/club/bar/social circle), I want us to reflect on the differences between them today.
Are girls identical everywhere ?
It is obvious we can pick up a girl on the Internet one day and see her in the street or in a bar the other day. Or picking her up in a bar and then seeing that she is on Tinder. Or picking her up in the street, taking her Facebook and seeing there that we have friends in common. Besides, if you take her Facebook in one minute in the street and then you chat with her for a week before the fuck… is it really a FC from the street? Yes and no.
There is no “virtual girls,” no “street girls”, etc. There are girls. Period. What I mean is that they are whole persons. Some have tried to pick them up in high school, others in the street, others in a club, others on the Internet but they are still the same person.
But, the average profile of targets differs between fields. In bars, we will tend to find alcohol drinkers and smokers. While in a sports environment (eg if we pick up at the pool) they are less likely to drink and smoke. On the Internet, there is everything; there are those Party Girls and those who do not like to go out (in this case where could one meet them otherwise?) In the street there are any type of women, including those who do not like the dating apps and the clubs. The thing is, they are not likely to be in the same state of mind, they are not “sorted”, they are not necessarily open to meetings. Street pick up, in the end, it’s as hazardous as sending pokes on Facebook !!!
But, again, there is nothing absolute in there. There are healthy girls of mind and body that go clubs. There are nymphomaniacs are swimming in this very moment in a pool and will undress as soon as a guy will approach them (if they have time). There are girls shy and inexperienced everywhere too. They are girls who would like to enjoy your cock at this very moment somewhere.
For me, the only dangerous thing with online pick up is to practice only on it. That is to say not going out and losing contact with the ground. It’s easy to think we are a God if we do not take rakes in the face (with the virtual we do not really feel chicks ignoring us … they simply do not answer.)
A number taken is a number taken
Once we took the girl’s number, in the street, by night or online, we move to the stage of the phone game. This is where the different fields meet. Except for the online pickup because we have not necessarily seen the girl before the date. And there’s also a difference between the street and the night: sometimes in night we have already kissed the girl before taking her number. That said we said we have not seen her before with online but if you saw her in a club with lights and everything, you don’t know what she will look like with the light of day… this is not really better.
But is it really so important to have already seen her before or to have already kissed her before ? If she’s pretty and a good kisser, I mean. That’s why with online, it is important to be 99%sure she really is a hottie. And it’s important to test her relation with sex too. Note that you can also make quick kiss in the street. But it is rare and it really depends on the context (it works especially in holiday resorts or if we are really luck and fall on a girl to open to it in everyday life).
After the phone game logically comes the stage of the date. So there it is really the same, regardless of what field we took the number on before. Finally come the isolation step, the last minute resistances, and the sacrosanct doggy style with spanking.
The various fields therefore 100% meet during the date and 150% meet when you have your cock in her pussy.
So a guy who takes a lot of numbers in the street but fail all his dates should practice online to train to succeed his first dates. Or to practice online to work on his phone game too. He will quickly get experience that he will be able to reuse on every fields to get more results.
And about the instant dates now?
Sometimes we pick up in the street and we have a drink right away with the girl. But again, we reach the stage of date. It’s therefore sticking with my theory that all fields meet at this moment.
The only thing that may not stick, is that sometimes, in the night we go directly kiss her and bring her back home to have sex. Anyway, in theory this is also possible with the street and it happened to me online that a girl comes to my place and directly kissed me, fall on her knees and suck me without having really discussed before IRL . But hey, I put a lot of comfort and I had turned her on with my pen before, I have to be honest. All that to say that there are girls who are hungry for sex in all fields. Your job is to make them comfortable enough so they assume.
That said, to enjoy it, it is still necessary to have beaten your sexual anxiety and to outsmart potential obstacles that often come up at the last moment.
The street is perhaps the most prestigious field because you need big balls to approach during the day and because it is a little bit old school. I know guys who are comfortable in their social circle, they are very proud of it but they are not able to approach during the day (some can a little at night because everybody does but are a little frozen all the same). So that’s not good!
The online is perhaps the most criticized because supposedly it would be easier and everything. But actually no, I have Padawans who have no resultat nothing from online but it works for them by night. In fact, the real reason may be that people are afraid to say they have met their girl on the Internet. But hey, must not a PUA ASSUME ? Is it not one of the watchwords of the game?
Each his field?
My advice is to make your experience. Regardless of what field works best for you, practice it thoroughly. Your sexual confidence will can be reused on other fields ! And it will give you good morale to have results.
If it’s online it works best for you, so much the better! I know guys that had no result. I taught them how the online works and then they fucked a dozen chicks in a few months. But now, they spit on the online and they say is too easy and everything. They want to game in the street and by night at all costs! It is noble but why denigrating what suited them so far? Why would all this be incompatible?
Those who critic things like that, to show off or to reject their mentor or to feel good with themselves, I think that is just shows they are complexed and/or jealous. Each person has his/her own goals and means, that’s all. I bet I have readers who do not care about the “art” side of the game and who just want to have sex. So why should I deprive them of Tinder? Or medicine parties? Under the pretext that some think it is easier than elsewhere. So what ? It’s like chicks who want to fuck but do shit for the principle … why pissing off yourself (and annoying the others) willingly like this? This is not pragmatic.
I truly believe that some fields correspond more to some people (eg smoking alcoholics and the night). But it is important to continue to practice a little on the other fields, so as not to lose touch with the fact that the game is not a repetitive and boring thing.
But roughly speaking, the same things are to be understood. The same mechanisms are always behind the male/female interactions. Then, each personality is different and is a new adventure, a new land to explore, with its difficulties and its facilities. Sometimes it is easy, sometimes all shit. I do not think there is objectively a field easier than others. Each has quirks but the purpose is the same: enjoying life and making chicks dream.
It is like if you were playing Pokémon … red, blue or yellow version : at the end you still catch Mewtwo (sometimes with a Superball sometimes with a Masterball)!
Carpe diem is a Latin phrase taken from a poem by Horace that in English is translated as “Seize the present day without worrying about tomorrow.” It summarizes the poem that precedes it in which Horace tries to persuade Leuconoe to enjoy the present moment and to draw all the joys, without worrying neither about the day nor the hour of her death.
Made famous to the general public since ancient times, the extract Carpe diem has been misinterpreted: translated “Enjoy the present day” (when both words mean “seize the day”) and understood as an incentive for the stronger hedonism, perhaps the most blind, he lost all connection with the original text which instead encourages to enjoy the good times (but challenge any discipline of life) with the idea that the future is uncertain and that everything will disappear.
Living more in mode “carpe diem” is the advice I was given the most by various psychologists that I saw when I was very anxious.
Hedonism
Hedonism is a Greek philosophical doctrine that says the pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of displeasure are the goals of human existence.
The pleasures of life, are multiple and vary among individuals according to their education. Hedonists thinkers have shaped their lives according to their own disposals but there are common themes: friendship, tenderness, sexuality, the pleasures of the table, conversation, a constant search for life pleasures, a body in good health. We can also find among the disposals: the nobility of soul, knowledge and science in general, reading, arts practice and physical exercise, social well-being…
At the same time, the pain and displeasure to avoid are: conflicting relationships and proximity to people without contractual capacity (without words), the debasement and humiliation, submission to an imposed order, violence, deprivation and frustrations justified by fables, etc.
Thus, there is no personal hedonism without discipline, without asceticism, without self-knowledge and knowledge of the world and others. Direct foundations of a hedonistic philosophy are curiosity and taste for life on one hand, and on the other hand the autonomy of thought (not the belief), knowledge and experience of the real (instead of faith). So there are a lot of similarities with the game in there!
According to Michel Onfray, hedonism is summed up by the maxim of Chamfort: “Enjoy and make people enjoy, without harming neither you, nor anyone, that is I think the whole morality”.
Religions do not like this philosophy of life in general because it promotes sex outside marriage and can disrupt the established order. But hey, wasn’t sex forbidden by religions especially for hygienic measures? The texts have not been updated for a while, but it seems to me that with the condoms, those rules have no place to be now! Finally, because we do positive things for us and for others, I do not see who it could disturb or what can make of us a bad person in this life philosophy. That said, by freeing so many invisible bonds, we feel a lot better… so why would one even want to make bad things around after ?
What is the link with seduction?
This type of philosophy allows you to relax and have no regrets. It puts at the center the tangible: the present. Indeed, one does not live yesterday or tomorrow. We live now… it is pure logic but it is too often forgotten.
Regretting things does not change them, being anxious thinking of the future will not help much either. Accept that you cannot change the past nor fully anticipate the future. Thinking, it’s good, but if it prevents the action, then it is totally counter-productive. So let’s avoid over-thinking because often it makes you disagree with your deep desires (I’m still talking about good desires not about desire of murdering your boss)!
Living by thinking less about stressful issues will make us more attractive because there will be less pressure and people will feel it. We will be cooler, less boring (avoid excess anyway). We will live more !
Do you know that 95% of the thoughts that most people have today are the same as they had yesterday and as they will have tomorrow (80% of negative thoughts in an average person) ? There’s so little new, adventures and fun in people’s lives… Most people believe they live but they are already dead.
During a date, do not try to prepare the next 35 possible topics of conversations in your mind, do not anticipate the 73 shit-tests you fear she uses, and finally do not spend all your time analyzing her body language. This will make the interaction more authentic. Wanting to complicate things may reassure you because you seem to have some control acting like that … but in fact this is not the case! Especially in the game. And I would even say that “doing too much” plays against you in fact! Like any excess.
And sex in it?
Using a little the “carpe diem” pattern can convince chicks to have fun with you in a hot night. This kind of lines helped me to fuck a lot. I also use it to answer the question “what kind of relationship do you expect” (I explain that I take what life gives me, I have no particular expectation and I’m glad if I can live nice experiences). But so far it is not dishonest nor manipulating, because I just sincerely share with them my vision of life … and I see if they are wise enough to share it with me.
We often hear things like “live every day like if it was the last” or other advice that is analogous. But in fact, it’s so much obvious… that no one believes in it! Why postponing constantly potential parties of pleasure? Knowing that a brick can fall on your head at any time and kill you (touch wood so it will not happen to us).
Why postponing a date or a fuck if the two protagonists feel like it now? It defies logic, actually. The stress ? The principles ? We had planned to do something for work that we could very easily do another day ? All this has much less importance facing death but as we live in an overprotected society, most people see on the very long-term before seeing their short-term interests.
“And if, later
People wanted to know my stories
How many will be worth, really worth to be told? “
Casseurs Flowters
For example, a girl who says she’s looking for “a serious relationship.” OK, that’s very good. But in the meantime waiting she finds the man of her life, what prevents her seizing the opportunities that actually present to her with men she likes that will not judge her but do not feel like engaging themselves in something immediately ? Why frustrating the natural needs of our body while it would be a win-win scenario to do otherwise? Why spoiling our life voluntarily if we can help it?
Anyway, if during the sex the girl will already be thinking that after she will feel dirty for being “easy”, it’s not even worth it. Sure there is some work to do on ourselves upstream before enjoy a little the good things of life. A work of presence, a work for getting free from our social conditioning, etc.
I conclude by reminding you that carpe diem does not mean irresponsible. So especially if you have a lot of one night stands or several partners, protect yourself.
“But the years go by quickly, and even the strongest eventually fall
In all our adventures, many times will ultimately mean
If I had to leave, I would love to have more stories to tell”
Casseurs Flowters
This is the period of time during which a woman would agree that things go further with you. But as it is a girl, she is waiting that YOU take matters into your two hands. And this is where it goes bad !!!
What types of windowsof opportunity ?
There are several kinds of windows of opportunity to address. For example, approaching directly after having an eye contact in a club. It is sure that if you do nothing and you approach an hour later like coming out of nowhere: your value will be seriously reduced in her eyes.
There are windows of opportunity to numclose, to kiss and to fuck. There’s periods or evenings when women want to have fun and sex. And others in which they prefer to be in a serious relationship or to sleep with their best friend.
Why are the windows of opportunity closing?
Most women quickly change their state of mind, mood and opinion.
When we talk of attraction, men are rather binary (that is yes or no). For women, it is rather some gradual thing, constantly evolving, changing.
And because they have the CHOICE among a lot of men, it’s okay for them to drop the matter with you if you do something that cuts them some envy.
How long does a window of opportunity last ?
The duration of a window of opportunity depends on the circumstances and on the patience the girl can demonstrate to you if you’re a AFC. But this is not really the time in minutes that counts… the important thing is to shoot when you have a window of opportunity. Like any good hunter!
Seriously, put yourself in the shoes of babes two minutes. If a girl you was warming you hard for several days, and that when you decide “Okay I let her suck me,” she did nothing more. How would you live it?
Understand that many women (like many men) are in lack confidence and are very sensitive. They will maybe be vexed if you give them the impression you make fun of them of that you’re not really interested: they will imagine that they are eventually not beautiful enough for you, that you were making fun of them, or I dunno what (they sometimes have strange ideas). They will be annoyed if they feel that you are a small dick unable to take action or who is afraid of women.
You do realize from that perspective that if you’re looking to give a good image of you by playing the over-respectful gentleman, it’s not a good idea! Avoid spending too many opportunities in the future…
In fact, it may happen that the window of opportunity never closes! But this is a very rare case, so do not really count on it. This is when:
– There is a great complicity between the man and the woman,
– They met without explicit seduction (they were introduced by a mutual friend, for example)
– If the girl idolizes the guy a lot.
And provided of course that in the meantime la girl did not couple and decided to be faithful.
How to recognize a window of opportunity?
Learn the reading of IOI (indicators of interest) and everything. Sharpen your social and relational intelligence to better identify the windows to opportunity, be (more) confidence to be able to act, and do not let your natural shyness paralyze you.
If you missed the window of opportunity, the interest of your target will seem screeching halt. For example, she was touchy and offered you many things and then suddenly she changes her attitude and becomes colder.
Why men miss opportunities?
There are any problems like “approach anxiety” and “sexual anxiety” to take into account of course. But not only.
There’s also a lot of guys who want to “do too much”. You can tell they put a little too much the girls on a pedestal. They want to wait to be ABSOLUTELY sure that all lights are green… but one is never sure of anything in life, so they do nothing, and that fucking perfectionism turns against them.
Even with experience, we are never 100% sure … So, when in doubt: put our egos aside, perform a presumption of interested girl and let’s go merrily !!!
The risk
The main risk if you miss a window is to have regrets. To regret chicks we did not take the number and therefore we will never see again, the women we have not kissed in clubs when we could have, the girls could we have fucked because in hindsight we realize we had a big chance of success… but we tried nothing.
The advantage
The advantage to recognize a window of opportunity is that we can have women we would never have had otherwise.
You should know that we are not obliged to please them a lot for fucking them if we’re in the right place at the right time with the right attitude. Even if they like “hmm he is just OK”, we can steal the priority of the handsome guy of the college who was busy getting drunk at the bar with his friends during that time.
“Yeah, but if I go too fast and she gets blocked after?”
From experience, I would say we have the best chance to make out with a girl in the early days after the meeting.
Because :
– Of a certain mysterious magic around us;
– We had not yet enough time to do too much shit;
– If she is hot and cool, she will not stay long on the market;
– If one tries quickly and takes a rake, it will hurt less.
Does it matter if we have just kissed her because we took the opportunity and we did not sleep with her after ? Or if you slept with her once, it was good but she does not want to meet again because doesn’t assume ? I do not think it’s a big problem. Let’s say that it’s something. We are happy with what we had. We should be a little philosopher in life, damn!
And anyway, nothing lets me think that you would have had more by taking your time (if ever you wanted more). You’d probably even had nothing at all. It’s one of the things I have the most difficulties making the beginners understand, this: “Women sometimes forgive whoever sudden occasion, but never the one who misses it. “Talleyrand
Some of my readers have seen in Secrets for seducing on the Internet or in my Diary that I am able to wet a girl (on a dating site or by texts) just by writing her an erotic text.
Then, often, those women come to me or invite me home and we fuck after a few minutes because they are hot and have the impression of having already enjoyed with me … since the text puts both of us on stage.
So my readers want to do the same. But when they try to do the same, it makes stuff like, “I’ll lick 3 minutes and you will enjoy very strong and I will put my dick in your ass.” I’m hardly exaggerating. Seriously, is this supposed to be exciting?
Putting the idea of sex with you in her mind is a very good strategy (it can be done in many other ways than through literature, through humor as example). But we must do it in a correct way.
So I will now give you 10 tips to improve your erotic short stories.
1/ Think of the five senses
Give the sensations a special place. Emotions are queens in seduction. How do you feel when you’re turned on ? Are you cramped in your jeans? How do you know she will soon orgasm? Do her legs tremble thoroughly while her abs are contracting? Play with her breath, ger cries, the undulation of her hips, etc. For more realistic details, feel free to read The awesome lover’s manual !
For your descriptions of sex scenes, you need to use with emphasis hearing, touch, smell, sight and taste. It doesn’t really matter if you use present, future or past. But do not mix tenses.
2/ Styling a little your text
Feel free to play with metaphors, double meanings and connotations.
And diversify your vocabulary to don’t be redundant. It is too easy to always use the same words like “scream” or “orgasm”…
3/ Avoid cliché
Pay attention to your choice of words so it will not look obscene nor ridiculous, which would be counterproductive.
Do not overuse phrases like “fuck my pussy” or “drink my wet.” Admittedly, in the action, words like that can be delivered so they are not completely banished … but use it sparingly. Instead: stay polite, courteous and respectful even when you describe a violent doggy with spanking and hair pulling.
4 / Stay realistic
It is better to talk about what you know. Remember your own sex sessions, your own feelings and observations in order to be as authentic as possible. Write unpretentiously but stay exciting. Embellish a little reality, of course, you have to make her dream a little!
If you do not know your sexuality, get inspired by my erotic texts (in A story of cyprine (love juice)) to see what it should look like.
Stay realistic also on the proportions of your sex and your endurance level. Same thing for the girl, if you have not slept with her yet, do not put her under pressure by letting her think that you expect she makes crazy performances.
5/ The length of the text
To get into the action, you need the text to be relatively long and detailed. It is necessary that we feel the rise of desire. For this, do not forget to describe kissing and preliminaries. But do not make it too long either, at the risk of discouraging her reading. 2 or 3 pages on Word, it’s good!
6/ Details
Correctly describe the context. Where does the action take place ? At your house ? At her place ? In a car ? On a couch? One night ?
Thinking course to gestures that seem insignificant you might: they graze? Interlace their fingers? In these moments, these details are important. Give your reader want to live those magical moments with you.
7/ Narrative not teaching
When you read an erotic text, you do not want to read a biology textbook not to see the details in close-up like in a porn. Mechanics, we do not really care in those moments.
If your character is just going back and forth during half a page, it will be boring. Take her rump, grab her hands, block her face against the pillow to stimulate her ! (Don’t be too dominating if you do not know her yet.)
8/ Orgasm
Remember to make orgasms more intense than the rest. All these frictions and these indecent fondling, is to get there (one or more times). Also describe the thoughts that go through you in this situation.
9/ After sex
Your text will reveal her a little more about you. About post-sex, why not taking a shower together after some discussion, both lying on the bed?
Reassure her, this is not a protocol you write, just an idea of how things could happen when you’ll meet up (again or for the first time).
10/ Proofreading
Once your sex scene finished, read it aloud to judge not only its sensuality, but also its credibility! If imagining these things gives you a beginning of erection, it’s good. The goal is still to wet her, if she is in a favorable context (therefore suggest her reading it rather at night after returning home or something like that).
Change words when there are repetitions, purify by removing heavy parts, tweak… and especially check the spell at least a minimum with automatic correction (eg Word).
Between the pressure of society, conditioning that one undergoes and the enormous amount of information (sometimes contradictory) that exist in the game: it creates neuroses. There are a lot of guys who think that the game is something very complicated. That one must control everything to perfection to get results. This reasoning is crappy (this subject is taboo so we would like to believe that it is mystical or that it’s very difficult but actually not): I will explain to these guys why it does not pay for them despite their efforts.
1/ They often follow a protocol for reassurance
Among the beliefs that limit the results, there is the fact of thinking that one should always follow one type of protocol:
“Approach => numclose => phone game => date => kiss => phone game => date => Sex”
And even sometimes the protocol continues as follows:
“Sex => couple => saying I love you”
Big program …
The problem is that the guys I’m talking about already visualize all this when they approach … rather than letting it be. They have a too sacred relationship to women and/or sex and, indeed, it’s scary.
In terms of post-sex schema, why wishing a couple right away and saying “I love you” ASAP? Why putting the pressure? Why not just enjoying what we have without rushing things?
Sometimes women like to just fuck like that, from time to time, without having to put a label on the relationship. They do not necessarily want you to account nor to sleep only with you.
2/ Alpha Protocol
I have, for my part, not really a Protocol but if I had one, it would amount to:
“Collision => having fun by testing her => offer to make her come => sex => after I see if I want to see her again”
It is very unfortunate to lock in complicated patterns because sometimes the chicks simply want to fuck … like us. And by complicating everything, we lose opportunities under our nose. Sometimes you can go directly from the approach to sex in less than an hour. Yes, yes, I swear. If both parties agree, why complicating ? Why wanting to follow certain formalities? Why believing that you need to do a lot of things so a bitch wants to suck your cock? This need, this attraction, we feel: it’s organic. And they also feel it. Do not forget that when you give pleasure to a beautiful girl, it’s a win-win scenario.
I’m not saying that one can always point blank offer a girl to come over and fuck her. But I’m saying that it is our right to try.
If she wants to have a drink in the city before, let’s go if we want to go out or if she motivates us enough, but at least will we had the balls to show that we are someone who has a simple relationship with sexuality.
And so she will know what to expect after “the drink”. In short, with this view: we make two steps forward, one step back.
3/ Dare and let go what you cannot control (the mindset of the girl)
I advise all players who know their theory and who regularly practice but do not fuck much, : simplify your game plan.
My advice: try to seem pretty normal to have a pretty look and ESPECIALLY have the nerve to propose some sex to girls. Go more straight to the point, straight to the F-close!
Do not say it like that, of course, set it a little in a context of beautiful words. Invite her to drink a glass of wine at your place, or at her place (if you can do home dates for sure that it is always better because after the conditions are favorable and you just have to warm her).
If she wants to go for a drink in a neutral site before being in an intimate place, accept on condition that it is not far from one of your places… to be able to go there easily if you both feel desire (specify these conditions in your offer “on the table”).
In conclusion: communicate more directly with the fair sex, while respecting them! And do not neglect personal development.
Assume further your desires and dare to ask what would make you happy. Relax on the headaches and everything…
Especially do not be discouraged if a girl makes you feel guilty by condemning your “direct” approach, for example by insulting you. This is because it returns her to her own limits, her glass prison, her all kinds of fears… It often happens to me, and I tell myself, that all the same, the conditioning hurt and frustrates a lot of people.
Repeat this large scale strategy for the results to match your expectations! Try my philosophy at least one time, what does it cost you? And it surely will please many of you.
Reminder: having the nerve is to be cheeky, have plumb, audacity, boldness, a nerve. Sometimes being a little cheeky and bluff wisely (if it does not turn against you after you pretend like if you say you are going to make her come ten times when you know very well that you will ejaculate in ten seconds ).
“In the field of wisdom, progress requires a good deal of nerve.” Hanif Kureishi
The contrast between reality and ideology of the couple has never been more important. So it seems necessary to think about it. In what gear did we fall and in what direction is it taking us?
1 / The couple, what is it?
A couple is a physical and emotional union of two beings of the same species deciding to unite to move in the same direction. It also involves monogamy in most humans! The couple also refers to a staged procedure entrenched in the minds: installation of two people under the same roof, marriage or equivalent, reproduction and growing old together. So that’s the hetero-standard of today (which becomes a bit homo- standard too with the approval of gay marriage).
For me “couple” is often synonymous with “pathological need of the vast majority of people.” Why ? Because most people do not conceive life, desire, even the encounters with the opposite sex in another way than in an immediately defined framework. Most often the protagonists of the couple change, since the youngest age of a person, and that hurts every time. But it doesn’t matter, it is ultimately not the partners that count, it is the couple, the unity. There are no individuals, man or woman, there are just couples now. So there is no cuckolding anymore, nobody is ridiculous or unhappy today, there are only relationship problems. Nowadays, one can justify almost anything with a simple “I did it for love, you cannot understand.”
2 / Couple and love…
The love wedding is a modern utopia (53% is the rate of divorces in France). The couple was invented in order to preserve some order… like to guarantee paternity, and often at the detriment of sexual freedom outside marriage (at least officially). Except for libertines.
For many singles, the idea of happiness boils down to being a couple or being in love, which is supposed to go together. The couple seems to be the key of happiness. Like if a man and a woman were all made to live together at any moment of their lives. Like if strife and suffering did not exist in the couple.
In fact, the pledge of solidity of a couple is usually the attachment, not love which disappears with time. If it has ever been there one day… it is often confused with the desire of being in love or with a strong sexual attraction.
3 / The couple, a whole institution
The couple, it concerns everyone, otherwise we would not have invented marriage and the “in a relationship with” on Facebook. Moreover, we must stop confusing the couple with feelings of love. Yet there is no need to be in love to be a couple, no more than we need to be a couple to feel love. When will we mention “In love with” on the blue social network?
Within the couple, there are rules, rights and duties that have not been invented nor decided by its protagonists. They often defend them though tooth and nail, as evidence of consideration, and will submit themselves in the same way: exclusivity, fidelity, mutual assistance, etc. Ideally the couple should be always on top of one another, just to be able to help each other more effectively, of course … And to watch over each other. So who benefits?
4 / The couple, a bond or a standard
I think especially at family gatherings where these little attacks: “Are you coming alone, nobody wants you? You still have not found someone, my dear? Are you gay or what? ”
Thus, as soon as two people are in love, they begin couple, and immediately believe themselves superior to others (even if it only lasts one month and you have to help them beat depression after). Generally, people also tend to get a couple just because they meet sometimes, or they slept together. Most people around me will fall into couples once they have slept with someone two or three times and they feel a kind of affection for this person. But often one or the other criterion is enough. Sometimes, without talking to each other about it, which can reserve unpleasant surprises “oh well, because we’re a couple? I was not aware…” I intentionally did not speak here of distance relationships (99% doomed to failure) in which at least one of the two protagonists is often taken for a fool by the other. Best of all, I found this phrase on the internet “I confess I’ve already been in a couple while I had no real desire simply because he asked me to.”
Apparently people are dying to be subject to new rules, rights and duties specific to the couple: remembering the birthdays, doing things together, sleeping together (by desire or by conjugal duty), not hanging out with too attractive people of the opposite sex, not sleeping with other people of course, but also, more broadly, it can be very badly perceived to just have a drink or to go out to dinner with someone else… and it becomes normal to say where we were, with who we were, what we did, what time we get home, etc. Finally, it is often required to accompany each other at parties, family meals, or other places where you do not necessarily want to be.
The well conditioned singles therefore will aim to find a guy or a girl to join the camp of people in relationships. Finally being a couple: the happiness model imposed to everybody. But when finally you’re a couple, the fucking pressure does not stop. “When did you move in together? When are you getting married? When will you make a baby?” This pressure causes suffering. Besides, these attacks are not only coming from people you’re close with, a lot of people who are not directly concerned will talk too.
In conclusion, the general idea is that you “MUST be a couple” otherwise we are not necessarily happy, not honest, not normal. The single draws suspicion. It hides something not nice, for sure. He is handsome and yet alone? This is an impotent. She is beautiful yet? She’s a pain in the ass. He is a sex-addict. It’s a maniac. It is a psycho. A belated. A repressed homosexual. He is immature. An embittered. A frigid feminist. Celibacy is synonymous with disease: something is not good with you. You must seek treatment. He is too demanding, cannot be satisfied with simple things, or ugly and stupid people. He was too cocooned or abandoned by his parents. “Yet it is not hard to do like everyone else. Do others are single perhaps? Well then, you should be able too.”
5 / The couple, babes thing?
Women are said to be more interested in couples than men. We saw why through evolutionary psychology: they are programmed to seek to retain a man and his resources… man who is programmed to try to fertilize the maximum of women. They are taught to look for stability, security, and seeking fulfillment through a man or dedication to children. In any case, freedom is a guy thing, it seems. But cannot a girl live happy without a Man… especially when she is 20 years and when she has absolutely no desire to have children?
The guys of my generation began to act like women, which is slightly ridiculous by the way. Wisely coupled from 16 years like they would be at 40. They sometimes look for “couples” even more than girls. It has conditioned them. And when a girl is just trying to get (well) fucked, she had trouble finding enough to satisfy without a headache immediately after ( “I love you”). Chicks seeking only a “serious relationship” with a “good man” to “find happiness” are no less silly to me. Especially those who criticize those who know how to live in carp diem mode, all this shit because they are unable to deconditioning. They should just don’t care but because they feel that something is wrong in their logic, it makes them aggressive. This model imposed on us is, in fact, far from suitable for everyone. But when one does not think for him/herself, he doesn’t understand where this sense of discomfort comes from.
6 / Being a couple for reassurance?
“I need a boyfriend” or “I want a girlfriend” are phrases that have always made me shudder because a person seeking at all costs a boyfriend or a girlfriend, is to me someone who wants to fill a void in life (“I do not know what to do after my day’s work”). And the society has made it clear what the miracle solution is : you’ll be happy as a couple.
But in the case of which I speak, that desire has nothing to do with the people they meet. I find it terribly selfish, it’s like saying “I need a horse” when we want to go somewhere on horseback. It has nothing to do with the animal, what it is, what it wants or anything.
Being in a couple is often using each other. Often, people are looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend but have no use of the desires, expectations, dreams and hopes of the person standing in front of them: all they’re interested in is what person can do for THEIR wishes, desires, dreams and hopes. Or they want to take someone with low value, wishing to manipulate the partner easily. A kind of accessory, in fact.
It’s really selfish to be a couple, since many would leave their half just because she slept with anyone else. Isn’t the purity that these people are in love with, actually? I could deal here also with the problem of one-itis, but it comes in my opinion from the DISEASE NEED to be couples (which must be cured to truly be able to make free choices) or lack of opportunities while a girl showed us a bit of interest… rather than from the real and sincere feeling of love (love at first sight is rare).
7 / The couple, something destructive?
When are people already in a relationship, they provide the ultimate in selfishness, possessiveness, restricting the freedom of others, jealousy. We do not ask a friend to do not attend other friends. It is not required for a friend, a cousin or an aunt to abandon his too time career or a trip to the tropics, just to stay close to us. We can be sad when the people we love go away, but it is rarely possible to require them to stay against their own happiness, and if we do so, it is childish. In a couple, it is considered normal behavior. Just like it is normal to prevent his beloved half to see some people. Just as it is normal to come “marking territory” when she’s talking to someone of the opposite sex with a huge frenchkiss while we just eat garlic.
The technological evolution of the society has had an impact on the couple: the spread of contraception, the new means of communication… opened a door on sexuality including the sexuality outside marriage, increasing separations and divorces. And, with Zuckerberg, it gives the possibility to proclaim that we are (finally) a couple… as a status symbol. “Hey, have you seen? I’m not single anymore and you… are you always in the shit ? ;)”
When we are a couple, we want it to work. Principle of consistency. We feel our value questioned when gets dumped too. The ego is talking and we’re calling it a sentence of heart. Especially if it brings us back to old complex or trauma. Ahlala, we would like it to work with THIS GUY (coincidentally) and like an oyster is stick to a rock. But it ends usually badly and we are in denial !!! Let’s think more before getting there in the future, it will be better for everyone…
8 / Couple, a demographic issue… or an economic one ? Who does it suit you’re a couple?
The society suggests to us that this is his future that is played around the couple. Except a man not in couple can fertilize many more women, especially that one of the last man privileges is to be fertile into old age… so this argument is not admissible.
The woman had become autonomous and independent, this has a direct impact on her place and the place of the man in the society and the couple… which is changing in the structures. The younger generations are the most reactionary, most revolted against the libertarian lessons given by their mother (May 68, Hippies). The couple, there is the way to go. While it is ephemeral. All the more ephemeral it is sacred.
Being a couple takes time. We phone more, we go to the restaurant, the movies, and when we do we spend more to do not look like a cheapskate, etc. Even when one stays at home with his half, one consumes more. Do you see where I’m coming from? Money, money, money.
9/ Can we decently remain single?
It’s a safe bet we no longer really know why we are single. By choice? Good joke! Get serious. Who can decently choose celibacy and its joys? We can say we prefer to be alone than in bad company, we are a lonely, that we love our independence, freedom, etc. But nobody will ever believe us altogether.
Let’s return to the famous question “Do you have a boyfriend?” or a girlfriend ? If the answer is “no”, one is a loser. If the answer is “yes”, it means “no thank you, I have an owner who will turn red if you encroached on the borders”.
Last thing I heard galloping ahead the cliché “he had a bad experience in a couple then he is now against the couple.” This is not the case. I have been happy and unhappy in couples, like everyone else. But I think that to be happy, we must above all do not rely on frivolous things. Being in a couple is frivolous. Why not trying to be happy already alone before trying to make our happiness depend on someone else? Why not having fun and stopping flutter not by “duty” but by “envy” when we have met someone who will motivate us? This is the main difference, in my view, between “being a couple for the wrong reasons (default with the first coming or just to do like friends)” and “being a couple for good reasons (a powerful sexual and personal connection, the same desires, some benefits). ”
If you are a couple, it’s your choice, but if this article pisses you off, ask yourself questions about why you are in a couple. I probably touched a sensible point.
10 / The benefits of the couple
Some see the couple as a mere “dick-insurance”. To easily ejaculate at will. If you choose this option, it seems pathetic and just demonstrates that you should work on your game for getting more options. These people made the effort once and rest on their laurels (note: this is better than never having done anything).
It’s like always eating the same dish, it can be as simple as noodles hams, sophisticated as supreme of chicken with parsley and mashed sweet potatoes, but in the long term you won’t feel the taste if it’s always the same… Indeed, people with whom sex does not lose intensity over time are rare. And even more are those agrees to make concessions, experience, efforts, etc.
When we couple for good reasons (and not only because we want a couple) and with someone who really fits us: there are not a lot of stress … except if he is a submitted and that the girl is capricious. But we must remain absolutely alpha otherwise she risks losing her respect for. On the other hand, if she chose us because we are a beta easily manipulated (a pigeon for short), it is not a couple for good reasons even though from our point of view it is perhaps a added-value (if she’s hot). It may ultimately be a win-win deal if the guy is sure that it suits him and he cannot do better. A woman driven by her biological clock is more easily marriageable…
My vision of the thing is that one day, we must all find a home base… like our fathers and grandfathers have done before us. If possible not too old in order to have children and see them grow. If possible with a girl that complements us well and takes care of us. If possible AFTER having made experiences before so we won’t feel the need to unhealthy cheat on our wife once we have delivered the sacred vows of fidelity. And also to find out what level of chicks we can target with a little work on ourselves (there is not only the physical appearance to consider but a minimum + personality of the girl and her situation, her health, etc.)
Anyway, today there are many ways of being a couple, marriage is no longer the representative symbol, one can live under the same roof (or not) and have children without being married, divorced, as single-parent or stepfamily… it is for everyone to build his or her own definition of the couple and what he or she intends to share there. In any case, when you love someone it should not be seen like a hard test to share you daily life if it is the case there is really a problem (with us or with our partner). Finally, I would say that perhaps we’re not all equal facing the ability to attach to someone: being a heart of stone is probably as hard as being a marshmallow. Finally, for children, perhaps this is better to give them a good image so that they are balanced in this crazy world. And if we do not want children nor getting married or anything, why being a couple without purpose?
The concept of frame (frame), what is it?
I’m writing today to explain why people are wrong when they hate PUAs (they do not even know exactly what they are talking about) and I will dismantle a lot of misconceptions about the PUAs at the end of my text .
Having FC on every field (street/Internet/club/bar/social circle), I want us to reflect on the differences between them today.
Carpe Diem
Some of my readers have seen in 
