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How to become freer and happier?

free and happy

How to become freer and happier

Do you really enjoy your personal freedom? Surely yes… yet most people live in what I call “collective conditioning,” based on fear. We interpret and judge reality as if we were looking through a fog.

It’s not pleasant, but you have to realize that we have not chosen what we know, what we believe and that our real choices are almost non-existent. Very few people are thus able, even only a little bit, to think for themselves. Let’s take for example the presidential elections: very few really read the programs of the candidates before making a choice. So their decision is based on what the media, the others, and so on, say. It is thanks to this “sheep effect” that one can guess the number of burglaries per year and the % that will be obtained by the different candidates: we are not free!

The way we see life is therefore conditioned by our education and by the surrounding culture: rules, habits, references… even our language is part of this process of domestication of man by bociety, because this is what permits its transmission and different interpretations.

This conditioning determines what we think possible or not and therefore often what we are capable of. In addition, limiting beliefs generally deprive us of joy and create unnecessary suffering (such as the pressure to “be beautiful” that make many young women suffer for the sole purpose of selling cosmetics).

The education we receive when we are children works because of the fear of punishment, of not being successful, of not being recognized, which will supposedly determine our degree of “adaptation” to society. When we are young, behaving the way our parents and teachers expected us to do made us no longer behaving as we really are. As a teenager, our view of the world has been shaped by the education received, and often, at the expense of ourselves and our true dreams. Yet, when we try to ignore these laws that guide us, we undergo the judgment of society, and that is what makes social pressure so powerful. Once an adult, the process is self-reproducing because of self-judging. We are very well trained!

Being ourselves without subjecting ourselves to the desires and judgments of society deeply tempts us, but scares us, even if we intend to respect the law and hurt nobody. By trying to meet the demands of society, we set ourselves goals that are impossible to achieve, we never judge ourselves up to the task and we try to hide it, we make ourselves unhappy by letting ourselves be lured by the masks that others wear: just have a look on Facebook where most people seem enjoying a dream life, and yet…

For reasons of conformism, or to silence our internal conflict (we conform VS we do what we want) we sometimes force ourselves to adopt very destructive behaviors, as a kind of self-punishment. Indeed, when we get drugged or drunk every week, we are our own tormentors. And society almost makes us proud of it.

This functioning leads most people to live their lives in complete fog, they are good little soldiers. Yet nothing forces us from the outside to be prisoners of conditioning. But, inside ourselves, we find many excuses to avoid a personal development work that would be liberating (or to don’t leave our comfort zone – it would put too much at stake). However, freedom belongs to us, we must be a little courageous to glimpse the light. Freedom consists in smiling at life, in exploring, in expressing ourselves, in living a little more in the present moment, without basing everything on the past and/or the future, in living naturally, in don’t giving a fuck…

Sex is a good example of negative conditioning: it’s in France like sorcery in Africa. It is omnipresent and concealed, trivialized and dramatized, full of prejudices but mysterious, publicly despised and appreciated in private. Yet sex can not be summed up in simple animal debauchery nor in the concept of fidelity: it can be lived as a form of sincerity, a search for truth, a conquest of freedom. Roughly, sex carries very different meanings for one or another but yet we can not assume it and live it as we want because of the doxa. It is a little bit « dissenting » in society and that is what makes us afraid. Fortunately, the community of seduction and personal development can help you reconcile with these instinctive but essential to our personal balance things!

I will now give you 4 keys to transform your life and relationships (these are the four Toltec agreements to which Don Miguel Ruiz devoted a book):

1 – Having an impeccable speech

It is through words that we express our thoughts, our emotions, our desires: what we are. It has a creative power of extreme power: this is our ability to verbalize things and thus to give them a consistency.

An impeccable speech, that is to say positive, will immunize us against the poison thrown by others. Thus, by taking care of our words, and thus remaining positive, we take care of our spirit, which will become a breeding ground for extraordinary things.

2 – Do not take everything personally

Whatever one may say to us as a wicked man, it can only affect us if we attach importance to it. We can very well choose to don’t take it into account, therefore, to don’t let ourselves be affected by this poison. That’s why you should never take a rejection personally, anyway, it can depend on so many things, so please don’t care.

If the others are programmed, conditioned, to judge, this is not our problem. Not entering this trap can protect from collective madness. Same thing when we judge: we only project our reality on others, especially when we try to be right at all costs. In truth, judgment concerns only the judge, not the judged.

Judgments about ourselves that are engendered by limiting beliefs can also trap us, especially when several contradictory beliefs lead us to inner conflict. That’s why we need to review one by one all our beliefs in order to live better.

3 – Do not make assumptions

It is our fear that leads us to don’t ask ourselves too many questions, to don’t check the thoughts that sprout in us, to follow the general movement without really raising our heads.

Also, we often imagine what others think, feel, we believe that everyone behave and thinks like us, and whenever it proves to be false, we experience a form of anger. This tendency that we have to attribute motives to others that they do not necessarily have prevents us from progressing along the path of freedom.

Thus, not making assumptions makes possible healthy and freer relations and communication, and freed from any unnecessary conflict. In addition, in pick-up, one can never know which girl will react positively nor which one will be a fucking aggressive bitch. So you have to become a philosopher to survive in such a jungle…

4 – Always do your best

Doing our best allows us to be able to change the height of the skipping bar, depending on our mood, our capabilities that can change from one moment to another. Doing one’s best is to never do too much but never to do not enought : thus, no self-judgment possible (one can not be blamed for having failed if he or she has done everything he or she could), no unnecessary energy loss. In seduction for example, one can be great one day and not have results the next day, but we do not care, because the essential is to try without bad spirit.

Doing your best improves our motivation to act without focusing on an immediate result, which increases our overall level of satisfaction. Doing one’s best allows us to evolve by accepting our limits, properly estimating our abilities, recognizing our mistakes and improving our awareness. Doing one’s best helps to avoid inaction and to pose the right action in the present moment, avoiding reference to the past and the suffering that may result from it. Doing one’s best is being able to be ourselves without any particular requirement, without having to conform.

Yeah, the community of seduction, it’s not just a gang of sex-starved assholes who want to fuck the maximum of chicks. We also think about life and about what can improve it: it is maybe why society in general does not really like us…

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This year promises quite a lot of quirks

This year promises quite a lot of quirksJanuary 22th 2016,

What follows is an emotional purge. Decidedly, this year 2016 promises quite a lot of quirks: I paid for it yesterday, again. But let’s start from the beginning.

Since my last field-report, I had a dick pain for a week. Must say that in addition to the girl from La Réunion, I fucked hard The Teacher and The Estate Agent.

On Friday, Virginie visited me. I was happy but… she pissed me off. There was nothing that went as she wanted, she counted the calories of what I ate, saying that I did not attract her anymore because I had become too fat. What I proposed to do on Saturday afternoon did not suit her, then she reproached me for not proposing anything. So we watched movies… that she didn’t like, of course. At night, I snored too much for her taste, so she went sleeping in the bathroom, complaining that even with the door closed she could hear me. She made no effort to talk, answered “yes” or “no” (mostly no) and when I tried to start the conversation, I was entitled to a shitty answer like : “do you know that?
– no and you ?
– NO, OTHERWISE I WOULD NOT ASK.”

In short, she was in a bitchy mode. She told me that I did not understand anything and everything. So, I got pissed off and I broke up with her. Maybe that unconsciously, it is what she wanted. Except that I did it on Saturday afternoon and she stayed until Sunday night (because of her reservation on Blablacar). The atmosphere was tense, it was really contentious. I think, however, deep down, that it is for the best, it is more honest for my relationship with The Teacher.

Last Monday, I had planned to meet up with a 19 year old chick but she got cold feet at the last moment « I have my periods but if you want we can meet up anyway if you think I’m still worth it
– OK.
– Uh… do you mind if you see each other only as friends tonight?
– Yeah, but we can do funny things together even if you have your period.
– No, I do not feel like it.
– Okay then yeah it bothers me. »
Suddenly, she did not come and no longer answered to my messages. I knew it was a kind of shit-test but I hate this mentality. Instead, I watched a movie and I fell asleep. I really needed some rest.

I’m really tense right now (the slightest thing pisses me off). I digested this shitty week-end and the break-up with Virginie: after two years of relationship, it’s a mess, anyway. I’m afraid my dark modjo will take over again. Especially that I’m pressurized at work because of the fucking tax period. My boss even wants me to come working on Saturdays for three months. Luckily, my dad visited me this week. We spent three days together. He’s cool, my dad, he tidied up my apartment. It got me up.

Tuesday: I spoke with a girl on Adopteunmec who told me she was “transgender”. I asked what it is, she replied « I take hormones to transform myself, my penis has become small and I have breasts growing ». Out of curiosity I asked what we could do together « I can suck you, and sodomy ». Yeah, well, no. I’m not very into sodomy, I guess I prefer the other fun box. I then spoke with an arab girl who wanted to be fucked for the first time in the dark… without knowing the guy. She has already tried with another guy from the dating site but the guy did not manage to get his dick into her. True story. It could be funny but it turns out that she’s a total LSE who has no self-confidence. The kind who always says “well, bye” if I do not answer within an hour (while she wants to continue the conversation in fact).

Wednesday, I blown my nose when I got to work at 8 am and the handkerchief was full of blood. I freaked out, I was afraid of a stroke. Well, I survived but it’s scary : I was entitield to a crisis of anxiety…

Yesterday, it was a hectic day: I had a date with a very cute Breton but I was very tired because of the pool and I frankly did have enough energy for seducing her. I nevertheless tried. Perhaps should I have listened to the Force and should I have aborted the mission.

Our story began three months ago, she had to come to my place but had canceled 3 times at the last moment pretending “having to stay late at work”. I sent her the message of the last chance and she wanted us to really meet up this time, admitting that what she had told me before was a lie.

She asked for a glass of water before fucking while sitting down on the bed. The discussion was fun even though she seemed a bit tense. I tried to make her feel comfortable, I teased her and made her talk about her passion for her job (biological research) and other bullshit like that.

When I started getting a bit bored, I fiddled with her. She kissed me. Then, she proposed getting in underwear under the duvet. I told her she was pretty… she replied « thank you at least you know how to make compliment… you say what you think.
– What?
– Nothing. Forget it. I don’t want to talk about it. »
I thought she was fat when she was young or something like that. Anyway, I plugged her brain on a bad thing, I guess.

Once we both were comfortable in the bed, I thought I was going to stroke her pussy. She accepted. I kissed her then put my hand in her panties, fingered her and went down licking her after having licked her belly.

After a while, when she was very wet, she began to say, “No, no, we can’t do that.” So I told her that yes, we can, and everything, and then she started pulling my hair and then said “oh yeah, keep going.” So here we were in the bed doing funny stuff and all that, then suddenly, she went crazy. She stood up suddenly and began to hold her own head and say strange stuff. « No, fuck, we can not do that. We can not do that.
– Ah …
– No seriously, we cannot. I cannot ! That’s all. We can not do that, it’s impossible. It’s just crazy. I can not. I know that I have turned you on by messages! That I played the hot chick! I’m ashamed, I’m sorry to do that to you… plus, you’re very nice and cute! I am ashamed ! You do not deserve that.
– Well, calm down. No problem.
– I have to go, I have to go home. I am with another man in my head, it is not honest. I like to really be into it action when I am having sex. It’s not you, it’s me. You did nothing wrong! »
It changes everything if it is not me, but she…! Well, it looked like she did not have much experience, so I think she just freaked out and is suffering from an IO (maybe it’s about her ex).

She got dressed in front of me, so I pretended to masturbate and asked her to help me. “You want me to make you ejaculate, right?
– Yeah, you’re not gonna leave me like that, right ?
– Sorry, but I would feel raped. I cannot. Sorry.”

I understood that she was having a stress, nerves or anxiety attack : her panties and jeans were nevertheless soaked. So I proposed her to sit in my arms for 5 minutes, in order to just calm down. At this moment, she began to kiss me like a sort of passionate psychopath, but she did not let me go under her clothes anymore.

She opened the door of my room, and closed it by slamming it violently. In short, she left so I told this story on my favorite forum and fell asleep. Let’s see the positive things : I caressed the body of a pretty girl, I went to bed early and I am telling you a story of insurmountable last minute resistance (I guess I have not done that yet).

But seriously, the more I think about it and the more I wonder : WTF? What is that ? From the moment she started the process of going bad, why does she say that she is with her ex or a hypothetical buddy in her mind? We should always go to the end of our actions (when they are not bad) ! She’s sorry about what, fuck. For me, it’s a mistake to prefer to live in a dream and be unhappy rather than taking the good things life gives us and enjoying. People are becoming less aware of the importance of the present moment. The chicks really have the art of getting a headache! Perhaps should I have fucked her without any preliminary. It would have been good for both of us. After all, isn’t it possible to forget ourselves into sex, just like in anything addictive? Why is sex taboo when alcohol is tolerated and we’re even talking about legalizing cannabis?

In the absence of her pussy, many questions touched me: didn’t she like me ? Did I get too fat? Did I lick her badly? Did I smell chlorine? Did I fart into bed without realizing it? It is not very good for my level of confidence before the match France-Russia, all these questions.

The God of the Game wasn’t with me.

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Lexicon of seduction

Lexicon of seductionThe words you need to know in the community of seduction :

Alpha male: A virile and attractive man.

Alphaness: Attitude of alpha male.

AMOG (Alpha Male Other Guy): It’s the rival, the one that’s competing with you. He is by definition dangerous for your game.

AFC (Average Frustrated Chump): Boy who has no idea how the relationships between men and women work. Timid and limited, he is convinced that it is enough simply to wait and “to be himself” to fall on the girl of his dreams and realize his wildest fantasies.

AI (Approach Invitation): A non-formal invitation that indicates a sign of interest or curiosity. For example, in a nightclub, it is a girl who looks at you from afar to tell you that she finds you attractive or that dances right next to you with her friend for you to approach.

ASD (Anti Slut Defense): This is a protective mechanism for the female ego that is triggered by a player error, he believed it was won and his excess of confidence triggered the mistrust of the player. (“What, I, an easy girl? I’ll show him…”).

Attraction: Creating Attraction is attracting a woman. It’s also creating sexual tension.

Bob the AFC: A Bob is a nice guy who has a hard time seducing a girl.

Buyer’s remorse: The regret of the buyer. This is when the girl regrets having slept with you or kissed you… Sometimes because of the guilt she feels (for example if she feels easy girl), sometimes because you have been bad in bed, etc.;

BT (Buying Temperature): This is the level of attraction of the girl, her desire to “buy you”. The image comes from the marketing world (like many other things in the community of seduction): in pick-up, you are both the seller and the product… and for the girl to want to “buy” you, you have to work on the product (your lifestyle thanks to personal development, which will guarantee a healthy relationship) and your sales strategy (your approach techniques). There are different levels of BT. Imagine the BT as a temperature displayed on a thermometer. When the girl’s BT is low, she does not even let you talk to her. When her BT is a little higher, she sends you IOI. A little higher still, she lets you kiss her, and so on. BT is a purely emotional phenomenon: sometimes some girls have reached a BT level enough to sleep with you, but do not allow themselves to follow their desire for various reasons: they want to remain faithful, either by principle or because of social pressure, etc.

BL (Body Language): It is the body language… ie the set of attitudes, postures and gestures of a person. On the one hand, you have to look after your BL. On the other hand, learning how to decrypt the BL of other people helps to better understand what they feel and have in mind.

Bootcamp: A bootcamp is a series of exercises to do over several days or weeks to improve your seduction ability. For a shy person, the first exercise of a bootcamp can be to ask something on the street to 10 people.

BST (Boyfriend Smashing Techniques): Technique whose aim is to devalue the boyfriend of a target so that she cheats on him.

Bitch shield: A set of techniques used by women to avoid passing off as easy girls and thus to keep men at bay. It is said that a girl is bitchshielded when she rejects all the propositions.

Canned stuff: It means “prepared stuff”. The seducer can prepare material in advance (stories, original answers to be placed in everyday situations, way of presenting his personality). The “canned” material is reflected and learned alone, assimilated, like the text of an actor. This technique is very useful to begin : from your previous experience, from the testimonies of other players, it is possible to collect the behaviors most likely to be seductive, and to systematically integrate them into your way of life. The consciousness that this method entails is one of the ways used in the community of seduction to effect a transformation of the personality: we start from the most “superficial” behaviors like speech, certain gestures and attitudes, to move progressively towards something deeper (body language, beliefs, trust, charisma, etc.)

Chick Logic (feminine logic): A slightly pejorative term that means that women have no logic except following the desire of the moment and then rationalizing. For example, “I slept with this guy because Chuck is dead in Gossip Girl.”

Comfort: Designates a stage in the process of seduction (the three main ones are “approach, comfort and seduction”). It involves getting to know each other, making sure the girl feels comfortable and confident with you.

Close: Soft word to say you have arrived at your goal. There are several types of closes: the num-close (numbering), the kiss-close (you kissed your target), the fuck-close (you slept with your target). Afterwards, there are countless other variations (email-close, blowjob-close)…

Cockblock: A person who, through his intervention, blocks your interaction with the target and prevents you from advancing towards your goals in terms of pick-up. It can be a girlfriend of a girl, a member of her family, an ex who would be jealous, a rival (or AMOG), and so on.

Crash & Burn: It’s going into the crowd and be very direct with a woman and then move on to the next one by don’t giving a shit if she is not receptive.

Calibrate: Adapt.

Comfort Zone: This is the comfort zone. This refers to the imaginary zone in which you avoid putting yourself in situations that would stress you. This varies from one individual to another. Many people spend a dreary life, stuck in their CZ, their routine. When you face your anguish, you get out of your CZ. Leaving his CZ means to pushing the limits. In your case, it may be to go down the street and approach a girl. An important part of the work is to become aware of your limit zone (the opposite of the CZ), your comfort zone and the balance that must be respected in order to move forward: if you take too little risk, boredom and lack of progress will be your enemies and will demotivate you, but if you are out of your comfort zone all the time, you will exhaust yourself. You have to find a balance between the two: consider your comfort zone as your capital, and your limit zone as an investment… for a healthy and prosperous economy, you need to invest and take risks, but not too much, because you risk losing all your capital. The better you manage and the more effort you make, the more your comfort zone gets bigger, the more you will progress.

Cocky and Funny: Term popularized by the American coach David DeAngelo. It is a type of behavior based on teasing and sexual allusions while remaining light. The goal is obviously to be thought of as a cool guy who is confident, but also to turn the girl on.

Date: Designates a date with a girl.

Disqualify: It is the opposite of qualifying. In seduction, to disqualify means to clearly show to the target that one does not try to seduce her. You can disqualify a target or disqualify yourself. For example, if you say “ah you’re a brunette, shame on you, I prefer blondes,” you disqualify her. On the other hand, if you say “I’m a bad lover, plus I do not know how to cook, you better try with the guy over there”, you disqualify yourself. Contrary to what one might think, disqualifying sometimes sub-communicates relevant information (that you do not try to seduce her nor impress her and that you have self-mockery: being indifferent means that you are not absolutely needy, so that you have other options, so that you are preselected and also that you have humor).

Dead Man Walking: A guy whose relationship with his girlfriend is over even if he does not know it yet.

DHV (Demonstration Higher Value): Technique for valorizing with a woman and arousing her interest. Be careful not to overdo it (no bragging). DHVing is talking about your trip to Argentina, your meeting with such and such star, etc.

DLV (Demonstration Lower Value): this is the opposite of DHV. It is to shoot yourself a bullet in the foot by evoking your problems (no money at the end of the month, problems to seduce girls, depression, etc.) in front of a girl that is supposed to be seduced. It makes her want to run away. Avoid at all costs!

Eye Contact: An EC is a look exchanged between two individuals. It can be stealthy or maintained. We can sometimes interpret it as a sign of interest or an invitation to approach.

Eliciting Values: Important values ​​that a woman looks for in a man. For example if she likes tall men, it’s because she needs to feel protected.

Escalation: Means “going to next step”. For example, “kino escalation” is used to talk about the evolution of physical contact since the first time you touch someone (her hand or the upper arm) until you kiss her or sleep with her.

Flake: This is the name given to the cancellation of a date for false reasons and at the last minute. The metaphor corresponds to a snowflake that would melt into our hands while we naively think we could catch it. Note that if the date is canceled for good reasons and the girl compensates with a counterproposal, we can not consider that she really spun between our fingers.

Fluff: Discussion with no interest or purpose (talking about the weather, your appointment with the dentist, etc.) More generally, it is any discussion that is not structured according to a game plan (therefore with a purpose, a function to seduce). Know that any topic of conversation can be good for seduction, that it is the strength or emotional direction that is really important (yes, you can talk about the dentist and be seductive, as surprising as it may sound).

Frame: It’s our state of mind, our way of seeing the world. It is a concept of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). The stimuli our brain receives constantly are too numerous for us to take them all into account: the resulting limitation defines the reality in which we live. Three images allow us to quickly identify this concept.

1 / The glass half full or half empty: commonplace, this image is nonetheless extremely useful. It is possible, in all situations, to focus on positive elements, contributions for ourselves and others, or loss and negative elements. It is central to understand that this is only a choice to make.

2 / The video camera: our perceptions are limited, and we are only able to see reality through a reduced frame, like a video camera. Life is like a party with one of your friends: you have the choice between spending your time recording the dispute between Jeannot and Marie-Claire or the romantic and playful meeting of David with Sophie. You can apply this to any type of situations and reflections. We have no control over what is happening to us, but nothing and no one can take away the choice of taking things positively or negatively.

3 / Sunglasses: when you wear it, you see the same world as the others, but at the same time a darker world, in which everything is different. Having a frame of success, or a frame of happiness, is to be able to see success and happiness in everything we do and in everything that happens to us. Everyone is capable of that. The frame is like a muscle, if you train every day to model your frame the way you want, you will become more and more skilled at directing your own thoughts and making yourself happy.

Open environment: it is the street, the clubs, the dating sites. Where you do not have to see a woman after trying to seduce her.

Closed environment: this is your company, your office, your school. Where you risk seeing women again and where your reputation precedes you.

Freeze out: A technique that overcomes a Last Minute Resistance, namely the fear that a woman can feel just before a sexual act, and that is often the last obstacle in the pickup process. Instead of a needy behavior such as getting excited, supplicating, arguing or trying to physically excite a little more (which is nevertheless the most effective solution after the FO) it is better to feign disinterest for sex considering that if the woman does not want to, it does not matter. So you have to move on to another activity: breaking the charm of intimacy (caressing, kissing) and switching to an activity without sexual tension, such as watching TV, playing a card game or whatever, produces several effects : you show that you are still fine without sex, as if you were already in a long-term relationship, you show that the absence of sex does not affect you, which means indirectly that you have women an abundance (preselection by other women) and that you control your emotions. You finally show that you are a sexed being who respects his own sensuality: you are not going to play forever, and the woman has to choose between intimacy with sex or nothing intimate (because in any case you live in the abundance and other women therefore desire you so too bad for her).

Friend Zone (FZ – Friendly Zone): The girl who puts a guy in the FZ sees him as a friend with whom she will never sleep. It is very difficult to get out of this zone, which is a real swamp of shifting sands. Avoid it at all costs.

Field: It’s a pick up place (it can be a bar, a street, a website, etc.) The  field report it’s when you tell a pick up.

Field Tested: Too many beginners speculate on hypothetical techniques. Arguing that a technique is Field Tested is to ensure its effectiveness.

Game: A term that refers to the game of seduction as a whole. It was popularized by the book by Neil Strauss.

Guy Thinking Too Much: Scientific seduction was introduced by geeks very gifted in logic but who had no social intuition. Many of these men have analytic personalities, are incapable of being natural and always need to refer to a theory instead of listening to their intuitions. On the ground, they spend their time thinking about details that have no purpose instead of acting, it’s a shame!

H2G (Hard to Get): DHV technique to don’t be regarded as a sex-starving person. An H2G man does not make out with any girl and does not do anything for a girl. Behaving in this way helps you gain self-confidence. But, be careful, being too H2G can be an excuse to justify your loneliness and lack of balls (especially with desperate and full of bad faith players).

HB (Hot Babe): Subjective rating of a girl’s beauty. The note of the same girl can vary between two players. In general, a HB is a hottie, rated between 6 and 10.

HSE (High Self Esteem): High self-esteem. An HSE girl would accept a few funny jokes about her without flinching, unlike an LSE.

Instant date: Having a date instantly with a girl we just met. Typically: a café after approaching the street.

IOI (Indicator of Interest): Any verbal or non-verbal signs that show a woman is interested in you: she asks you for your first name, asks if you have not already met somewhere, what is your perfume, looks at you insistently smiling, etc. On the contrary, there are the signs of disinterest (IOD).

Kino: Action to touch your target without disturb her. Touching someone creates a connection and lets you know if seduction begins to bear fruit or not.

Kino Girl: Touchy girl, loving to be touched and touching without necessarily meaning that she is interested… it’s just her nature.

Inner game: Improving your inner game is becoming more authentic. It is becoming more confident and exceed your limits to seduce the women that you like.

Outer game: These are the actual seduction techniques, routines, approach phrases, transitions, and all the details that allow to act concretely.

IRL (In Real Life): means in real life, as opposed to virtual.

Try too hard: To do too much to try to impress, to compensate a complex. Acting in this way usually communicates bad things.

LJBF: “Let’s be just friends”: the typical phrase that many women use to say to a man that they do not consider him as a potential sexual partner. This is the phrase that often accompanies relegation to Friendzone. The sentence itself is not as dramatic as the relational framework it introduces…

LMR: Last Minute Resistance. It is the fear that some women feel just before the beginning of the sexual act, whose intensity varies according to women, and which is linked to the fear of seeing the man disappear just after. Typically the girl is in your room but no longer wants to make love for a silly reason or think you take her for an easy girl. The main weapon against the LMR is the Freeze Out, but it is recommended, in order to avoid this blockage, to show you like her (and a legitimate interest, in other words a good qualification) with sufficient conviction and congruence and do not show any signs of neediness either.

LSE: Low Self Esteem: a person whose self-esteem is low or bad. An LSE person tends to don’t know how to receive compliments because they will not match the self-image he/she has, and tends to seek relationships in which he/she will be treated in accordance with this image (thus mistreated). In terms of frame, it will be said that the person filters all the situations to retain only the negative interpretations and elements. Such behavior is often so deeply anchored that the person profoundly believes that his or her “bad” situation is not a state of mind, but a reality that can not be changed, a fate. An LSE suffers and needs help, a thorough work is needed, and it can be tricky or difficult to maintain a healthy and harmonious relationship with such a person.

LTR: Long term relationship. Relationship (intimate, affective) in the long term. It is often considered that a serious, long-term relationship begins after 3 months of an ongoing and exclusive relationship.

Mister Nice Guy: True AFC, Mister Nice Guy has a lot of female friends who constantly say he’s wonderful while he is single and they are fucking other men. Mister Nice Guy therefore has little or no sexual relations, it is the cousin of Bob the AFC.

MILF (Mother I would Like to Fuck): A mature but attractive woman, usually a mother. For a young man, it can be a friend of his mother or even the mother of his best friend. Beyond that, after 45 years, one begins to speak of cougar woman. There is an older woman fetishism about MILFs: it is one of the most wanted types of pornographic videos on the Internet.

Mojo: Energy, psycho-corporal motivation at a given moment. We also speak of momentum or flow to qualify this positive state of creativity and inner strength.

Needy: Frustration, sexual need too visible. A guy who demonstrates that he desperately seeks the attention, sexual or emotional favors of another person. This is called neediness. Some words, but mostly bodily attitudes are signs of neediness: as a rule, as soon as there is an imbalance between the attention that two people are giving to each other, the person who gives more than the other tends to seem needy. Too great neediness does not generally appear to be attractive to those who are targeted. This is why it is fundamental to work on the characteristics and attitudes that demonstrate an absence of neediness to improve your charisma and attraction. However, do not confuse being needy and affirming your desire for a woman. The affirmation of desire must work as a gift to the other, without waiting for reciprocity. It is also important to understand the system of representation in which your interlocutor evolves: the criteria of what is needy or non-needy can vary from one person to another, and during the game of seduction. However, it is obviously the criteria of your target that are decisive. Ultimately, an LSE would get along well with a needy!

Neg: Kind of innocent remark or inadmissible compliment addressed to a girl who thinks a little too much she’s a princess, who is snobbish. The goal is to get her down from her pedestal and feel she does not impress you. The idea is that once you are on an equal footing, you can undertake to build a relationship. One of the best known negs: « Nice nails… are they real? » This plays on the insecurities of girls, to be used on confident women and HSEs. But beware, we get treated as a big asshole if we abuse it or if we are clumsy. And if this is the case, usually it breaks more sexual tension than it creates… and game over !

Next: Knowing how to next means knowing when to give up. It saves time and energy to dedicate them to a less problematic, more motivated woman, etc.

One itis (OI): Love obsession, idealized and fantasized image of a woman. One speaks of obsession because the OI makes lose all sense of the reality and must not be confused with the true love. The AFCs (and therefore sometimes the young players with their first successes) are often victims because they do not know how to control their emotions, do not have a high self-esteem and generally do not have sex  often (which would enable them to take a step back from the importance of this woman in particular). Many men are persuaded to have found the woman of their lives by having seen her only a few times! The poor man in one-itis will gradually convince himself that this girl is unique and extraordinary and that her happiness depends on her, which means that he will no longer really be himself in his presence. In our society, it is very well seen to be ready to do anything for the chosen one of your heart, we see there a mark of love powerful and sincere… In reality, this kind of behavior is anything but attractive. The classic scheme of an OI is the following: the man meets a woman and very quickly develops feelings for her, before even knowing her well. As this man is generally not sexed or seductive and does not escalade towards the sexual act, he enters without realizing it in the Friendzone. Then, one day, suffering too much from the friend-friend relationship he hopes to see evolve, he declares his love and takes a devastating rejection. Indeed, she only saw him as a friend. There is also the frequent case of the one who falls in OI on his best friend or on a girl he (badly) fucked. The problem is that in the vast majority of cases, an intimate friend can not be considered as a lover in the mind of a woman. Becoming the best friend is often the best way that AFCs have found to stay close to a woman who attracts them. It is imperative to be able to identify the IO and to move away from it as soon as possible. If possible, eliminate any contact with the person you like so much at first to regain personal integrity.

ONS: One Night Stand. Coup d’un soir, sex without a tomorrow.

Open: Approach.

Opener: Sentence to start a conversation.

Pattern: Routine created in order to put the other in the desired emotional state using NLP principles.

Peacocking: Wearing dress to attract attention. The goal is to differentiate themselves from others, for example with accessories, and to give a pretext to the girls interested to approach and touch you. Comes from the word “peacock” in English.

Pivot: A kind of female wing. This term comes from the fact that your friend approaches a group or sympathizes with a woman so that you “pivot” around her and that she can introduce you. Because she’s a woman, your chances of success will increase considerably if she opens. Indeed, there will be less chance that the group rejects her and she will be a powerful “social proof”, especially if she is pretty…

Player: Seduction is seen as a game (cf. the game). The player is therefore the one who plays it, who maybe wants to become a PUA. This term is also used outside the community. And they sometimes say “do not hate the player, hate the game”.

NLP: Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Branch of Psychology, founded by Richard Bandler and John Grinder by analyzing the work on the hypnotic trance of Milton Erickson. The two founders have formed a system of tools that influence their own representations and representations of others (mainly) through language. This movement, whose popularity in the United States quickly crossed the Atlantic, was taken over by the seduction community to understand and master the emotional mechanisms in the interactions.

PUA: Pick Up Artist. Artist of the dredge, seducer confirmed. Grade, the highest to the rank of seduction. Since this is a self-assigned title, there are fakes. And a lot of criticism: there will always be people saying that PUAs are not balanced people and they are looking to escape a deep discomfort. This is true or false, depending on the case. Some PUAs are not models of inner peace, others are more so than the majority of people. But the ideal of true PUA is to continually improve, to find a path of balance and respect in his sexual and social life. Seduction goes beyond the mere fact of adding women to your kill count : it is a way of finding one’s own identity, of locating oneself in relations with others and of gaining maturity. For many, it is a quasi-therapeutic way to overcome shyness and to become confident in society.

Qualification: The pick-up phase in which the man communicates to the woman the reasons why he is interested in her and that allow her to consider him as a partner. Most beautiful women have almost infinite possibilities to have sex, it is for this reason that it is not advisable to use their physical appearance as an argument in the qualification. Doing so would mean belonging to the same category as the hundreds of men who do it on a daily basis. Moreover, a large proportion of women find qualification as a major element of attraction: they will allow themselves much more easily to desire a man who desires them in a legitimate way, that is to say who wants them for certain traits of their personality, and which gives them the feeling of being unique and special.

Routine: A routine is a story that has been used several times in the past and that the player uses to captivate his target. And, the more you use it, the more the routine is mastered. Generally, routines serve to hold the target’s attention, to under-communicate attractive characteristics, or to generate emotions. It can go far : some have used routines hundreds of times, some for over thirty minutes.

Set: This is a term used in seduction to designate a group of people that contains potential targets.

Shit test: Or “chick test”. Attitudes of women whose purpose (most often unconscious) is to test your self-mastery, your persistence or your limits. It is a way for them to know if the boy has good reproductive value and is confident by asking dumb questions to test him. They want to take the best of all the men available to them (it is necessary to realize that a beautiful girl is relatively often approached, and even more when she goes out at night, she lives constantly with thousands of options). A shit-test is sometimes a trick question that aims to eliminate boys judged below the level of demands of women. To answer a shit-test, this is the way that matters. It is better to respond ironically to show the absurdity of the question.

Example: “Why are not you going to seduce this girl?
– Okay, are you coming with me?”

Social Proof: To define the social value of a man, a woman uses external elements like the perception of this man by others (yes, most people are sheep). A girl will have more interest and trust in an individual who has been previously selected by others, to whom she assignes value if possible. Social proof is the recognition expressed by the environment towards the player. When you are somewhere and you know everyone, you are said to be “social proofed”. If you take a girl to a club/bar/restaurant where you know the boss, waiters, and where many people come to say hello to you, you do not give her the same impression than if everyone else was ignoring you. It shows that you have a fairly rich social life. Moreover, if people around you seem to like you, they will tend to love you too. For example, in the night, even before approaching a girl, if she has seen before that you know many people and they laugh in your presence, she will be more receptive. Warning, if people seem to take you for an idiot, social proof would then have the opposite effect.

Social circle: Social circle.

Sarger: Going out to pick up and seduce “on the field” to practice the theory of seduction. We can speak of a good sarge, a nice sarger or a desire to sarge… the term comes from the name of the cat of Ross Jeffries, the creator of the community of seduction.

Story Telling: Action to tell a captivating story with lots of emotions and twists to captivate a woman’s attention. May contain a final morality olike “carpe diem, let’s make love” to make her want to let it go. Technique that can also consist of telling stories and memories by embellishing them so as to raise the interest of our target for us.

SPU (Street Pick Up): Literally translates as street seduction. There is also mainly the “night pickup” which takes place by definition at night… and the “online dating”, on sites and dating applications.

Target : The lady or woman to seduce is seen as a goal. Dehumanizing her somewhat allows you to give yourself more courage to start to meet her and sexualize more easily. Gainsbourg, in a song, said “I think of you as a target”: it’s a bit that, the idea!

Time Constraint (often False Time Constraint): A technique of setting a time limit on our target to put her back to the wall and speed things up. Useful also when approaching a woman in a hurry: she is given the indication that we are just passing and that we are already about to leave before asking her a question, which shows that we will not harass her during one hour. It is supposed to relax the target and works like a foot in the door because sometimes there is no real intention to leave quickly.

Wingman (wing): Friend/colleague with whom you are going on the field, usually it is a guy who knows the various techniques and methods of pick-up.

Warpig: HB rated below 5, meaning “ugly”, which refers to girls who are physically unattractive. Often, the lousy girlfriend of our target, the same who puts us sticks in the wheels and who is jealous that her girlfriend can have fun with cool boys like you! ;

Prize: It’s the price in the interaction.

Fast seduction: It is rapid seduction, it consists of sexualizing and kinesthetically escalating quickly. This method teaches how to play with sexual tension. Thanks to it, sometimes you can sleep with girls 10 minutes after you met them. In some cases of LMR, for example, stepping up sexual tension to excite the woman will allow you to fuck her, but not putting her in the fridge. That’s what this method taught me. Yes, here again, you must calibrate and choose your school…

Speed ​​seduction: This is the seduction school of Ross Jeffries, the creator of our community. It is seduction through communication (patterns, NLP, hypnosis, etc.). It is sometimes referred to as “dark seduction” (the not very ethical face of the community of seduction).

The Mystery Method: One of the first methods of seduction. Mystery PUA organized seduction in phases (attraction, comfort and seduction), themselves containing several sub-stages (opener, DHV, etc.). But this school is today surpassed by more powerful tools: Mystery said you need at least 8 hours to sleep with a girl, which is obviously wrong. However, there are still some good things in his work!

Extract from : The basics of seduction

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Seducing this girl or seducing girls?

Seducing this girl or seducing girlsA guy often begins in the community of seduction because of a woman, and then he learns how to seduce women. And then we realize that it’s better (I think it’s better to learn how to fish than eating one single fish).

If it is very difficult to make out with a girl in particular, but it is quite simple to make out with a girl… in general.

“Who ? What the fuck ? What does it mean ?”

This means that paradoxically, the less important it is, the easier it becomes, because not everything that is the emotional register does not hinder us.

The more you’ll seduce, the more women will like you. The more you enjoy and the more relaxed you are, the better in your shoes you feel and the easier it will be to seduce a specific girl (with why not even some emotional in the equation).

This is why bad boys are so successful when nice boys generally stay at home and masturbate.

I do not recommend to become insensitive, nor an asshole. I establish only what I call a “dynamic law”.

That is to say, I recommend observing how human relationships are established in reality (and this is far, far from the advice of women’s magazines…)

I know, it’s not necessarily brilliant. Because our education made us internalize a lot of lies.

Besides, one thing particularly struck me. While women are generally naturally much better off than men in terms of seduction, they almost never say the “truth” about what they’re likely to like in a potential partner. Some women lie, but I think a majority is simply not aware of the difference between what they think they are doing… and what they actually do. This is very disturbing for a man who would ask advice to women to seduce!

The first lesson is that if you want to be effective, you should not listen to what others are saying, rather look at what they actually do.

So do not take my word for it and begin to seriously observe your contemporaries without attempting to put a moral explanation on their actions. Try to understand the sequence (such fact causes such effect, which brings another fact or effect). Seek to analyze, not to judge.

For example, while most girls will tell you that they want above all nice and caring guys, you will notice that:
– or it is not the case;
– or other characteristics of the guys in question are much more pronounced than kindness.

Besides, it’s weird, but the guys who have learned to chat, to be popular, to be sexy or manly… are considered much more kind and attentive than the others… Everybody finds exquisite the vulnerable sensibility of a rock star, but not the one of a tramp. It’s weird, huh?

(There, normally, at least one of the girls in the audience says “Pfff, but it’s bullshit, you should not take a headache, you just have to act as you feel, we are not robots, you have to be available, nice and make small gifts… blablabla”)

(Bizarrely, it’s usually the same ones who complain about always being hurt by assholes. It’s weird, huh…?)

A guy a bit sensitive might also object “It’s true what you say there but it is not necessarily very fun to hang out with a girl for whom we do not feel anything. Besides, this is not the kind of story that could last very long.”

In fact, I do not necessarily recommend going out with girls for whom you do not feel anything. Though why do you necessarily link sex between consenting adults with love?

I simply recommend learning to be comfortable.

Because if you are as comfortable with the girl you want (which you may “love”) as during an allergy crisis you have no chance.

It is therefore necessary to desensitize to become enthusiastic, warm, charming, smiling, at ease, etc.

When one observes the “natural” seducers, this is what one notices. They are not necessarily extraordinary. They have just learned to be confident as far as the gender relations are concerned.

One wonders sometimes (feeling a point of jealousy) how do all these assholes to bang those hot chicks.

Often, they became confident thanks to a characteristic that is considered essential: a beautiful face, an athlete’s body, a fascinating voice, a great style…

But these “assholes” have all the same an essential merit: they go for it. They dare to confess their desire, uninhibited. And most importantly, they are comfortable and confident as they have experience for them.

They are often much more honest with themselves and with the women than the average men. But what they teach us about human relationships is generally judged as unbearable …

Hello! The woman is not more the magical creature imagined by the virgin than the demonic slut by the divorced recidivists and other suckers.

Women have desires, hopes, values, instincts. By knowing them, we can know them biblically. It’s as simple as that.

The problem here is that no woman is “standard” (Some believe to be universal references and give lessons but do not listen to them). One cannot foresee that a precise unknown will become mad about you.

On the other hand, if one frequents many young women, not only he will become more at ease, but it is then quite easy to find a girl who will respond favorably to his advances.

The most unfair is that the more experience you have with different randomly chosen women, and more easily you will find “openness” to seduce a specific girl (why not “THE” girl?). This is how it happens in real life… Depressing? No, not especially… It’s life, that’s all…

“What’s the use of getting tired for a girl you’re not in love with? “

Because before learning to play a duet at the concert, we train. And that one can learn to pick up/to laugh/to spend a good time with chicks without being necessarily in love. The more comfortable you are with the opposite sex, the easier it will be to approach and seduce the one you really like.

“Why do you want to submit to the desires and pleasures of a woman for whom you have no feelings?”

Precisely, one does not submit. We create flirting and assume our manhood. From the moment the meeting progresses, it is necessary to become the prize, the price that the other wants absolutely to obtain. This will lead to a curious turnaround (since it is necessary to show interest to catch her attention with the risk of being rejected, before taking the control of the situation).

 

 OBJECTION !

“When I read some field reports, I feel a lot of contempt in the girls’ description (notably the note of the girls’ physique, I find it questionable).”

Is there a question of contempt or “flattening”? For example the notes, it is a trick typically feminine. Long before I knew the community, the only time I heard about notes was in groups of girls noting their surroundings… especially the boys.

Many “techniques” of seduction are in fact a systematization of what girls “naturally” do: selection, mystery, blowing hot and cold, and so on.

I can not speak on behalf of others but the category of seducer to which I belong sincerely loves women, to the point of dedicating my life to them… so do not come and talk to me of contempt or misogyny, please!

Extract from : The basics of seduction

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Obsession to love

Obsession to loveUnless you have a chance to gather more accurate and usable information, or if you are not in good shape, you have nothing to gain by delaying the encounter and attempting to seduce a desired person.

Rakes are rarely the problem. On the other hand, disappointment after a long uncertain wait is truly destructive… What then? Getting back in the saddle, of course.

“I am very sad… my heart is in trouble… I loved this girl, I was thinking of her every day! I wanted to be with her, to hang out with her… but after our first date, she preferred to tell me, kindly by mail, that she did not want to go further with me !! ??? What did I do? Why do not she likes me ? It’s hard to get refused by a girl you love, it hurts in my heart…”

In fact, the girl was very nice to tell this guy what she thought rather than leaving him in ignorance by ease until he gets tired… Uncertainty is even worse than failure… believe me !

Who knows the reasons for this failure? Not the right place? Not the right way? Too many people aware?

The only valid thing to do is to approach a woman and try. Without trying to complicate everything. It is through this attitude that we will all find THE one, one of these days.

And for now? This guy suffers, he had so much bet on this girl … THE ONLY RIGHT THING THAT HE CAN DO now is to go out and empty his mind with his friends and meet other women.

Of course, some will advise him to write letters of love with his blood, to make suicide attempts or to scream naked under the window of the girl, but it is a very bad idea, in practice.

It is better to move on, even if the ego does not like this idea.

Next time, this guy will not wait several weeks before approaching or showing his interest… and one of the following times he will meet a person who will be delighted by his attentions. This misadventure was only a step towards his success. But he does not have the necessary distance to see it.

In fact, it is not the girl who makes him suffer, we must not blame her. He suffers from the love obsession he has imposed to himself by imagining what it would have been like if…

If you are in a similar case, do not depress in your corner. You have to get back into the saddle and in a while, like this guy, you will not feel any pain and will be able to use this rejection as a useful experience.

In the community of seduction, this pseudo-loving state is called the “One It Is” (the One and Only). It is a self-inflicted love obsession which leads one to think that only the coveted girl can give meaning to the void of his life, etc.

When we advise beginners to approach right away, or as quickly as possible, it is also to avoid getting into this kind of pitiful state…

It is a sort of pathology of feelings. Not only does it make you sick, but it usually makes impossible a vaguely effective approach to seduction.

I am going to give you a confidence that hurts: hardly anyone likes ashore people. And those who love them are often even more worrisome than others (Savior’s syndrome, manipulators, followers of the race to the bottom who will resent you to death if you start to succeed one day…)

Unfortunately, it’s almost mathematical: feeding a love obsession for a girl means losing ground and missing the target while failure is obviously not an option you want to consider. Whether we like it or not, finding and seducing the woman of your dreams requires knowing how to keep your cool : one must learn how to think clearly. But obviously, this is not enough: to lucidity, we must combine the safety of gestures.

 

 OBJECTION !

“I think a guy who acts as you describe has a huge ego. “

For my part, I believe that a man who does what I describe does not depend on the goodwill (not to say the whims) of a woman to have a satisfying sexual life and can be happy with ONE woman only if he chooses this option.

It is not an exaggerated ego, in my opinion, to learn to respect each other and to do finish K.O. because of a woman (on who one’s would have focused by mistake).

Learning to pick women up is not going out in the street and playing the sex-starved dude by thinking that all women must be under our spell. It is an apprenticeship that makes it possible to find a partner without depending on the good will of society towards you. While doing experiments that make us grow, during the time we are waiting to find her…

And these experiments, on the contrary, require to silence your ego, because it is your ego that most often prevents you from going over. It is the ego that is afraid of the rejection, it is still the ego that begs you to don’t learn seduction, etc.

« More the knowledge lesser the ego, lesser the knowledge more the ego. » Albert Einstein

By playing on statistics and having a bit of audacity / assurance, you can do pretty much what you want in life!

Extract from : The basics of seduction

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The dolorism

The dolorismDolorism, the passion for moral and physical suffering, the inability to question the cards that have been distributed, are absolutely detestable things.

Aspiring to live as happy as possible and giving yourself the means should be the ultimate goal. But happiness has a price. Are you ready to leave your uncomfortable but reassuring life to pay for it?

Many of us are ready to face unimaginable suffering to avoid an effort a bit piquant but able of giving them joy, self-confidence and a fulfilling sexual life. This is madness!

No one dies of being rejected by a chick. Neither by 20. On the other hand, we can die of loneliness.

“I prefer to die than to realize that life is not in accordance with my dreams and hopes…” this kind of sentence deserves a big kick in the ass!

Life can be more terrible than the worst of your nightmares and more wonderful than the most fabulous of your dreams. It all depends on what you do with it.

Seduction is not a purely intellectual skill because it forces you out of your inner little world. Seduction puts you at the foot of the wall. It forces you to stick to reality. To the other.

And it’s a truly exciting challenge. Especially if, until then, life has not given you gifts.

What do you learn by approaching strangers under a variety of pretexts? Whether one gets rejected or welcomed, one does not die. We sometimes get shamed. We sometimes have meet wonderful people that make us forget the bad days. It’s the game. We have fun. We do not control everything.

Then, one learns finally to be comfortable. Or how to pretend to be so until it is really the case. “Fake it until you make it”, advise some people…

A true pleasure of seducer is to give birth to a smile in a unknown woman. Then, all the art of seduction consists in amplifying the positive reaction that one provokes. The whole thing, without insisting like a weirdo.

Men and women are quite different on this point. In general, male desire can ignite very quickly, like a button that is pierced. The feminine desire can be just as intense, but generally rises more slowly (imagine the knob that adjusts the volume of a TV).

One turns the first notches by showing attention and interest to the other (and by “emitting well-being”). It is the base of everything. Then, it is just as simple but there’s a range of possibilities that you will learn to master only little by little. From the most direct to the most refined way to proceed.

The simplest is the frankness. It’s very stupid, but a cool guy who tells a girl he likes her and would like to see her in another context, it has the advantage of courage… in short we are fr away from the asshole weirdo who make proposals more or less salacious things and from the slobbery who usually beat about the bush.

Note: You may not be aware of this, but the girls are much more approached than us, and most of the time by suckers. A cool and frank guys, it is enjoyable, in general. It is not victory assured every time, but for a girl with whom there’s a feeling, it is enough. Why making it complicated when it can be simple ?…

“I will never dare,” retorted some, as a defense shield preventing them from moving their ass. If your ideal in life is to die by having loved in secret, free to you… Personally, making this kind of confession freed me. When I became aware of this, I stopped wasting opportunities by not trying anything…

 

 OBJECTION !

“All this stuff just to bring a poor woman into your bed…! “

Yes, it is supid to have to work so hard on yourself to please women who are by nature so generous, so pure, so solidarity and so frank…

Women are so much better than men… so much more understanding… Fuck that bullshit! It’s a thought of foolish nonsense who must put women on a pedestal and believe that the guys in the community of seduction are horrible manipulators.

Women are strictly no better than men. They may even be even more cruel. The worst enemy of a girl is usually another girl, younger, more intelligent, different…

I can tell you, women are not even less cruel than men. They are, for the most part, less violent directly but are the first in terms of, for example, psychological violence, violence against children or against elderly…

A Canadian study, conducted in 2001 by the Government of Canada’s Department of Health using the WHO definition, shows the following results for child domestic abuse:

– Physical violence 31%
– Sexual abuse 10%
– Negligence 40%
– Psychological abuse 19%

The perpetrators of all these acts of violence are:

– Biological mother 61%
– Biological Father 38%
– Stepfather 9%
– Mother-in-law 3%
– Host family 1%
– Other family member 7%

In France, the National Child Abuse Reception Service also publishes very reliable statistics. The organization, which receives 700,000 calls annually to report abuses, conducts audits and transmits to the General Councils only in the most credible cases, requiring social and judicial monitoring: 9,000 per year. In its 2006 report, the statistics, which confirm those of previous years, show that the perpetrators of reported maltreatment are as follows: mother (52.3%), father (29.6%), stepfather (7.8%), all other categories being less than 2%. And by gender: women (56.3%), men (43.2%), the other cases being not defined.

For information, here is my opinion on what a Pick-Up Artist is (and I am in a good position to talk about it I think): there will always be people here to say that PUAs are not, basically, balanced people And that they seek to escape a profound discomfort. This is true and false depending on the case. Some PUAs are not models of inner peace, others are more than the majority of people. The ideal of a real PUA is, however, to continually improve, to find a way of balance and respect in his sexual and social relations. Seduction goes beyond the mere fact of adding women to your hunting bag : it is a way of finding one’s own identity, of locating oneself in relations with others and of becoming more mature. For many, it is a quasi-therapeutic way to overcome shyness and to become assertive in society. Being a pick-up artist, in my opinion, is finally respecting an ethical code: we are not heartless assholes… and those who behave in this way are still far from having finished their apprenticeship.

I repeat: seduction is a school of personal development. This involves taking power over one’s own life, and using seduction as a tool for reflection.

In light of these elements, I really do not understand why so many people criticize the community of seduction. Or rather, I understand it too well… jealousy!

Extract from : The basics of seduction

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Inequality between men and women

I would like to share with you a little experience that sums up the difference between men and women in terms of seduction.

Here is the link to see the whole experience: in the ebook.

I summarize it below.

A journalist had fun creating 10 false profiles on a dating site: 5 men and 5 women.

The only difference between these profiles: the photos (which range from “ugly” to “hot”)… for the rest, the profiles are identical, they have the same descriptions. In addition, the profiles are inactive: no solicitation, the journalist let people make their lives without influencing.

Of course, we see that the most beautiful girls receive far more proposals than the others. But the surprise is that over a period of 4 months, the “ugliest” girls receive as many solicitations as the most “handsome” guys. As for the other guys… almost nothing.

This tends to confirm an old observation: for a woman, unless she is suffering from physical or psychological problems, finding a partner is a matter of choice (accepting to be available, agreeing to make a choice in a panel of proposals, etc.)

But for a guy, except if he is very favored by nature: he will not receive any proposal unless fighting to stand out from others.

You can lament, you can stay in denial, you can use this little experience as an excuse to say that women are “all bitches who only want stupid hot guys”

But if you look around you: in fact, most people who get laid, who seduce, are far from all being models.

They just not remained passive waiting for something to happen. They took control of their desire. They have worked and learned (sometimes without the help of the seduction community). They moved their ass.

And you ? Which option do you choose?

The disproportion between the ability to attract a partner is thus unfair between men and women. And, even more unjust, people generally enter into complicity with people belonging to their to social, physical or ethnic circle…

Exception: the social mobility of a beautiful woman will be superior to the mobility of another woman (and her children, because they will be beautiful, will receive more care and attention than the others).

The statistical studies show that being a beautiful blonde counts as much as a good diploma to meet the soul mate in a framework of executives…

Social rules are not very romantic, sorry… And if you break them… watch out… your own friends can turn against you. But luckily, you can also use those rules to your advantage. In particular, those that have a strong influence but are not well known.

 

 OBJECTIONS !

 “It’s pathetic” & “Does not seduction give a degrading vision of woman? “

 It’s well known, the future belongs to those who masturbate on their mum’s La Redoute catalog, not to the courageous ones who act… Let’s be clear: I do not give a damn about the lessons of uneducated idiots. I help those who want to learn. Too bad for the others.

Mundus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur” (The world wants to be duped, let it be), said the rhetors of antiquity. Not me. I want the real truth, but it is only in what works and in the knowledge of the true nature of women, not in their idealization. To know a little, you have to study a lot, experiment a lot. That’s what I did. And that is why I am now legitimate to teach seduction. That’s why I love women, for what they really are!

Extract from : The basics of seduction

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The nature of seduction

The nature of seductionAn unknown energy

Many people think that the universe is made up of atoms… Yet, this is not quite right! There are particles of the atom.

We are not able to perceive them directly but it is possible to act on a certain number of particles. And that does not mean that there is not yet something even less noticeable behind…

According to the researchers, the universe consists of 4% matter, 23% dark matter imperceptible, and 73% black energy.

Is seduction a “dark matter”? We only know that it is there, that it is acting upon us, but we do not know much more about it. So we have to work empirically to unravel its mysteries.

If we gave up our ability to reflect, to draw practical and applicable lessons from our experiences, then we would submit totally to the “laws of the universe” of life in society. Now, according to these laws: 80% of the male should not have a sex life worthy of the name, that’s all! Is that acceptable? No, let’s do not give up!

 

Transgressive activity

Even a very experienced seducer never has all the women at his feet (it’s a legend). But he has found empirically a way to have success… a success usually reserved for stars, and powerful or very handsome men!

Seduction is not a science, but rather a discipline or even an art that one learns by the practice and the testing of the theory.

That is why pick-up is a transgressive activity… That is why we try to dissuade you from learning to seduce: you would take what the elites had reserved for themselves.

This is also why most guys find it hard to assume publicly that they read my blog and my ebooks: there are few comments, for example, when my articles are read by thousands of people and many people contact privately to thank me for the positive impact that my knowledge had on their lives (I will publish proofs of this one of these days on my blog because we all like evidence).

 

A denigrated activity

Rather than creating a dynamic working relationship (questioning, comparison, proposition, exceptions, tests and conclusions), most people react in the French way when it comes to seduction, that is to say they try to shine with criticism and jokes, while they have a sex life that is actually not good. But they pray that it will not be known. In addition, it would piss them off to realize that other people have a better one. This is called the race to the bottom.

Even if we don’t talk about that, there exists in France a real sexual misery. The message that scream our society is “if you can not seduce, it’s not your fault. You are a nerdy because you do not consume fashionable places, good clothes, good food, good skin cream, and so on.”

You can try if you want but these things do not work (or rather badly) to seduce… and sometimes even make people aggressive with themselves or others!

If you are excluded from the private circle of womanizers, you must learn to truly seduce, without going through the consumer society. It’s a vital necessity to get out of this infernal circle and feel better. But do not delude yourself: learning is also putting your hands in the sludge.

 

The stigma associated with learning seduction

Ask yourself this question: would you accept to torture an unknown person for no reason ? No…? Are you sure ? Yet Milgram’s experience (if it just vaguely means anything to you, see below) has shown that 90% of a population would, if asked correctly.

I’m not saying that you’re a monster. What must be understood is that we ALL live on certainties which are nothing more than automatisms of thought. To identify these automatisms and to question them for a better life is what I call “opening your eyes”, “thinking for yourself”. Of course that seduction can be is learned, like any discipline… even though most people think it’s not the case.

 

Women’s opinions

“I like handsome boys (but who do not know that they are beautiful), kind, attentive, shy, sensitive with a great sense of humor,” girls generally tell us before having sex with machos, daddy’s boys or riff-raffs… “The others yes, but I am different” may they answer this statement. Of course ! It reminds me some girlfriends, psycho students, laughing and explaining that they would never have fallen into the trap of the Milgram experiment nor into the trap of Leyens (google that). Yes, yes, if you like to believe it…

For information, the Milgram experiment is a psychology experiment carried out between 1960 and 1963 by the American psychologist Stanley Milgram. It sought to assess the degree of obedience of an individual to an authority and to analyze the process of submission to authority, especially when it induces actions that raise consciousness problems.

In the first experiments conducted by Stanley Milgram, 62.5% of the 40 subjects carried out the experiment in the long term by inflicting 450 volt electroshocks (which were fatal, fortunately they were fictitious) three times. All participants accepted the principle, and, after encouragement, reached 135 volts. The average of the so-called maximal shocks (levels at which subjects stopped) was 360 volts. However, each participant had at one time or another interrupted to question the authority. Many showed signs of extreme nervousness and reluctance in later stages (verbal protests, nervous laughter, etc.)

Milgram described these results as “unexpected and disturbing” at the time. Preliminary surveys of 39 psychiatrists had predicted a rate of subjects sending 450 volts on the order of 1 per 1000 with a maximum trend close to 150 volts. And yet… 62.5% were very cruel!

What I want to emphasize here is that most people are strong to lecture and criticize by playing it politically correct but offer nothing constructive for you. They will tell you to “be nice” and that is how you will find “someone”. Meanwhile, Milgram’s experience has revealed their profound nature. Do not allow yourself to be stopped in your personal development by their bad faith or by their shirry lessons in morality!

Seduction can be learned!

Seduction is a discipline that can be learned and taught, like any skill, even if skeptics do not like this idea. But attention, seduction is not easy: it is the result of a long process, largely unconscious, become a quasi-automatism in some and a phobia in others.

I would say that, despite the difficulty, learning to seduce is not the most difficult. The most difficult part is to handle the light that his learning throws on yourself and on the relationships between human beings. Many people cannot handle this and prefer to cover their faces by pretending that it is bullshit. It is a matter of choice, denial… but these losers should not try to dissuade those who want to educate themselves!

 

How it works ?

As a human being, the more you have experience in the field, the easier it is. The more you understand how the world works, the easier it is. The more comfortable you are with women, the easier it is.

If you stay nicely in your corner, you will have what others want to leave you, that is to say usually not much. Or, “good friends” who tell you for hours that their ex is a bitch but want to sleep with him again. Thank you !

There are rules in seduction because there are rules in society since humanity exists. Since the time we were prehistoric men and lived in tribes. This does not mean that they must be complied with. On the other hand, it is absolutely necessary to know the rules otherwise you will always take the same doors in the teeth.

It’s important to note that when I talk about not following the rules, it does not mean you have to be a cheater, an asshole, a misogynist or a serial fucker. It simply means that if you have no success, there are reasons for this. And if you just do the same thing (and complain that it does not work), nothing will change.

Realizing that women are not innocent, fragile and benevolent beings will poke your ass. Again, opening your eyes and bringing women down from their pedestals will upset your vision of the world. Yet this will help you to sleep with them and see them again. Do you really want to live in the land of the unicorns and stay with your utopian vision of woman (or love) which, however, until now has only disappointed you?

 

Everything is based on evolutionary psychology

The genetic difference between chimpanzees and us, humans, is less than 2%.

By studying them, it can be observed that all chimpanzee females can have a sex life easily, but that few males do.

The strongest, the most powerful, those who can fight predators and repel the attacks of enemy tribes (war and murder also exist among chimpanzees, a common point with us) can. They quickly become leaders and attract almost all females.

Other example, those who learn techniques to improve the life of the tribe (eg hunting meat chimpanzees are fond of). They also quickly attract the ladies.

Finally, the “smart little ones” also play their part. They are the ones who develop their communication skills with females. They create a bond of familiarity with them, which they would normally develop only with those who would enable them to raise their children in the safest possible way (in other words, the powerful or the competent ones).

Just like one cannot not communicate (even silence and eloquent), one cannot not influence, said Paul Watzlawick. This is why I advise you to learn how to communicate the right messages to be part of the “smart ones” (this is what the community of seduction teaches and that is why it bothers the dominant as well as the submissive conditioned to defend the interests of the dominants in the hope of obtaining their approval).

One of the reasons for the development of communication may have been access to sexuality. Its consequences have in any case been the construction of complex societies, the transmission of knowledge acquired… But if our intellects have evolved, our deep desires remain the same: security, belonging to a group, reproduction… the instinctive desires of women always concern the same archetypes: the powerful man and the competent man.

And the others ? That is to say, 80% of the guys? Well, they pick up the crumbs if they do not know how to communicate well.

If you want to have the choice in your sex life, you must take power. Either by embodying a certain social legitimacy (the president, the famous actor, the rock star, etc.), or by satisfying a social need (being safe near a macho, expressing her rebellion with a riff raff, etc.), or by learning to decipher and elicit the processes of attraction and attachment through the Game.

 

Tools of the community

A theory is rarely horny. Moreover, even we, members of the seduction community, do not have a blind faith in our theories. We are trying to systematize what works. We are looking for concrete tools.

Of course, the term “tools” (or techniques) concerning human relations could be called into question, we could say that such consideration should be deleted.

But then, most of the “human sciences” should be suppressed in the wake, the others that just seek after all to make human behavior understandable.

If you think about it well, how would it be different when it comes to seduction? Except because it’s scary and it’s a little taboo?

 

 OBJECTION !

“You must be natural, that’s it…”

It does not mean anything “being natural”. One can be comfortable, tact like if he doesn’t give a damn, but: “to be natural”, what does it mean, seriously?

The “nature” of an anxious person is to frighten, but this is precisely what must be avoided. The “nature” of an insecure guy is to be easily aggressive, but it’s rarely a good idea… And I do not even talk about the “nature” of a shy or a social phobic…

The problem is that we usually cling with the last energy to what makes us suffer… like our traumas, our bad habits, our aberrant reflexes, and so on.

Creating a virtuous circle systematizing our small victories to gradually rebuild the perception of our reality and success takes time but it is worth it. I can guarantee you!

Whether you like it or not, if you do not emit well-being, calm, a certain strength… you will not attract anyone interesting. Or, it will work by chance, 1 time out of 1000…

However, one can perfectly integrate his anxiety, aggressiveness or shyness in the practice of seduction. Because in any case, one must integrate it in his work on himself (seduction is for me a personal development work).

In any case, if you just start, you’ll certainly not escape a serious work on yourself… So, pretending “it is enough to be yourself”, it is choosing the bad way of the ease and denial, if you want my opinion!

Extract from : The basics of seduction

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There is no magic formula for seduction

There is no magic formula for seductionThere is no magic formula in seduction: the ideal solution, easy, in three pages, does not exist. Too bad but that’s the truth !

The Game will not satisfy your desires with any power or revenge… but it will allow you to better know yourself and better understand others. More than words, it is therefore the spirit conveyed by the Game that must govern.

To create interest, then desire and envy : beyond the techniques, seducing is above all a state of mind, a “science of the other” that require deploying treasures of psychology and communication…

However, this knowledge can be used simply. It has already improved the sex and love life of thousands of people. Now it’s your turn.

Even if, of course, all the following is not efficient for 100% of the people you will approach because exceptions still exist (it is said that they confirm the rule).

I promise you many successes if you are serious in your learning!

The other day, I was writing for you and I thought back to my beginnings in the community of seduction. Several years ago, to initiate myself, I had copied and pasted on the big sites of seduction of the time, more than one thousand pages. I had read everything, analyzed and classified with motivation… like a true passion, yet.

I say to myself today that it would be very good if the people who arrive in the world of seduction can find an ebook recapitulating the bases of seduction, organized in the most pedagogical way possible. And, if possible, not in a 100-page plus document…

This would prevent them from getting lost in the mass of information available (God knows that there is a lot of bullshit on the web about seduction… but even good advice is scattered, so it is not easy to find things at the beginning). What you have in front of you will save you a lot of time and a lot of energy… that you’ll reinvest directly in the field with women.

My goal in writing this book is that you learn at the same time that the terms (the jargon of the Game), the principles and the techniques of seduction. Basically, I want to introduce you both effectively and in depth: you will know what words means, what is useful and why we do this or that. In short, I will not stay on the surface of things or ask you to stupidly recite your lesson at the end. My goal is that your sex life and love improves concretely!

I will also discuss the various obstacles that can be encountered along the way and which could slow down your way towards excellence in seduction.

I must admit that it was good for me to review the basics, even though I now have the rank of pick-up artist. It allowed me to take a step back and dust off some of the knowledge that I had left aside for a while, to see things from a new angle, and so on.

I wish you as much success as I have thanks to the game, and even more (why not)!

Extract from : The basics of seduction

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The axioms of communication

The axioms of communicationFrom Wikipedia…

Watzlawick did extensive research on how communication is effected within families. Watzlawick defines five basic axioms in his theory on communication, popularly known as the “Interactional View”. The Interactional View is an interpretive theory drawing from the cybernetic tradition. The five axioms are necessary in order to have a functioning communication process and competence between two individuals or an entire family. When it comes to this theory, miscommunication happens because all of the communicators are not “speaking the same language”. This happens because people have different viewpoints of speaking. Its principles are cybernetic, its causality is of a circular, feedback nature, and, with information being its core element, it is concerned with the processes of communication within systems of the widest sense—and therefore also with human systems, e.g., families, large organizations and even international relations.

The communication within the “Interactional View” is based on what is happening, and not necessarily associated with who, when, where, or why it takes place. “Normal” as well as the “disturbed” family is studied in order to infer conditions conducive to the approach of interaction-orientation. It is believed that individual personality, character, and deviance are shaped by the individual’s relations with his fellows. Thus, symptoms, defenses, character structure and personality can be seen as terms describing the individual’s typical interactions which occur in response to a particular interpersonal context. The whole is more than the sum of its parts, and it is that whole in which we are interested.

Five basic axioms

The Interactional View requires a network of communication rules that govern a family homeostasis, which is the tacit collusion of family members to maintain the status quo. Even if the status quo is negative it can still be hard to change. Interactional theorists believe that we will fail to recognize this destructive resistance to change unless we understand Watzlawick’s axioms. The following axioms can explain how miscommunication can occur if all the communicators are not on the same page. If one of these axioms is somehow disturbed, communication might fail. All of these axioms are derived from the work of Gregory Bateson, much of which is collected in Steps to an Ecology of Mind (1972).

Watzlawick, Bavelas, and Jackson support these axioms to maintain family homeostatis.

One cannot not communicate: Every behavior is a form of communication. Because behavior does not have a counterpart (there is no anti-behavior), it is impossible not to communicate. Even if communication is being avoided (such as the unconscious use of non-verbals or symptom strategy), that is a form of communication. “Symptom strategy” is ascribing our silence to something beyond our control and makes no communication impossible. Examples of symptom strategy are sleepiness, headaches, and drunkenness. Even facial expressions, digital communication, and being silent can be analyzed as communication by a receiver.

Every communication has a content and relationship aspect such that the latter classifies the former and is therefore a metacommunication: All communication includes, apart from the plain meaning of words, more information. This information is based on how the speaker wants to be understood and how he himself sees his relation to the receiver of information. Relationship is the command part of the message or how it is non-verbally said. Content is the report or what is said verbally. Being able to interpret both of these aspects is essential in understanding something that a communicator said. The relational aspect of interaction is known as metacommunication. Metacommunication is communication about communication. Relationship messages are always the most important element in communication.

The nature of a relationship is dependent on the punctuation of the partners communication procedures: Both the sender and the receiver of information structure the communication flow differently and therefore interpret their own behavior during communicating as merely a reaction on the other’s behavior (i.e., every partner thinks the other one is the cause of a specific behavior). To punctuate a communication means to interpret an ongoing sequence of events by labeling one event as the cause and the following event as the response. In a situation with communication, if one thing happens, something else always happens. For example, a female in a relationship with a male is feeling depressed. The male in the relationship with the female feels guilty. One who observes this situation might ask, “Is she depressed because of his guilt, or does he feel guilty because of her depression?”

Human communication involves both digital and analog modalities: This axiom refers back to the use of non-verbals and system strategy explained in the first axiom. It is mostly related to the digital content of communication within a relationship.

Inter-human communication procedures are either symmetric or complementary: This axiom focuses on metacommunication with two main components called symmetrical interchange and complementary interchange. Symmetrical interchange is an interaction based on equal power between communicators. In accordance to that, complementary interchange is an interaction based on differences in power. Within these two interchanges there are three different ways they can be used: one-up, one-down, and one-across. With a one-up communication, one communicator attempts to gain control of an exchange by dominating the overall communication. A one-down communication has the opposite effect. A communicator attempts to yield control of an interaction or submit to someone. The final message is a one-across communication. This communication moves to neutralize a situation. This is also called transitory if only one communicator is attempting this style. When two communicators use the same style of one-up, one-down, or one-across, it is symmetrical. If they are opposing one another it is complementary. This axiom allows us to understand how an interaction can be perceived by the styles a communicator is using.

Additional notions

Some interrelated notions that make up the Interactional View promoted by Watzlawick and colleagues at the MRI include:

One cannot not communicate, and the related idea that one cannot not influence;

Understanding behavior as if we are constantly exchanging messages defining the nature of relationships of which we are a part;

Shifting focus of attention from intent to the effects of behavior as communication;

Observer-imposed punctuation;

Emphasizing the vital role of the therapist’s preconceptions in bringing forth socially constructed reality;

Investing the ramifications of self-fulfilling prophecy; and

Articulating and fully embracing the “as If” nature of behavior.

A term that is used often in the theory of the Interactional View is enabler. An enabler is within addiction culture; a person whose non-assertive behavior allows others to continue in their substance abuse. An example of this would be a person letting their sibling continue to act in an immature manner because that is what the family is used to him doing.

Another word frequently used in the Interactional View is double-bind. Someone in a double-bind, is a person trapped by expectations; the powerful party requests that the low-power party act symmetrically. An example of this would be a person asking another person, “Why didn’t you like the movie?” or “You like rock ‘n’ roll, don’t you?” The first person is asking the second person to act in a way that is similar (symmentrical) to them.

Extract from : Communication, seduction and manipulation