Month: September 2017

What about the behavior of a person who tends to move away when you get closer and get closer when you get away from her?

Many men and women use the “Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen” voluntarily as a method of seduction… But, moving away from the person desired to attract her, is it really an effective seduction technique?

Bad state of mind

The widening gap between men and women is due to this kind of behavior that blurs communication and makes it impossible to understand the other one. Personally, if my accomplice had not shown me any interest when I met her, I would have gone away to find another girlfriend.

People think that the technique works because it pricks the ego of the person (his pride) and that is what makes him go out of his way to get the attention of the person who flees.

But it does not count with three things:

1) Sometimes people are not confident and will not insist on women or men who pretend to be indifferent. So if the guy is an interesting guy but a little shy, the girl who plays this petty little game risks discouraging him and losing big. Same thing for a guy who would like to seduce a shy girl. This kind of misunderstanding can give rise to comic or dramatic situations…

2) Only the sex-starved guys who do not respect themselves and the men who have no choice in seduction are ready to lick the boots of a girl who ignores them or does not treat them at their true value.

3) The fact that a balanced guy will probably try to avoid the balance of power in a loving relationship (this is the principle of prizing: you must remain a challenge and not put the girl on a pedestal).

This technique can only work in some cases

Warning, if the person is confident but is not at all interested in you, the technique will not work, whatever you do… It will not change her mind and she may even be glad that you stop clinging on to her (relief). Such is taken who believed to take, that is what I call the “flee me, I don’t give a shit!”

This is exactly like the technique of the fridge (the freeze-out or “silence radio”) that only works when the chick is already interested.

“Follow me, I run away from you, run away from me, I’ll follow you” is a classic of French seduction, which is true only when the person is confident and is already interested in you (or when the person is not very balanced but I do not wish you to have a relationship with someone desperate or disturbed).

Nevertheless, it remains cult because mentalities evolve less quickly than the world around us. In the days of Moliere and Marivaux, when one always saw the same people in the same circles, it was obviously more effective than today when one can disappear on the Internet. You must know that we owe this expression to Alfred de Musset, who wrote in the 19th century: “A woman is like your shadow, run after, she runs away from you; flee her, she runs after you!”

Anyway, keep in mind that nothing is foolproof: even the most effective seduction techniques fail by bad luck… the the worst shit can work by chance.

What is the advantage of this technique?

It is interesting to use it in moderation to raise sexual tension. Generally, the more one desires the person before bedtime, the better is sex. The anticipation (when we know that we will probably make love with this person) is a fucking awesome aphrodisiac!

It’s also interesting to use it when you’re ready to roll the dice. One must always be ready to lose the girl in order to win her without too much headache : it is the other side of the coin and that is why it is necessary to have the choice and not to get attached too quickly (one should never say “I’m in love” with a girl with whom he has not even slept… LOL!)

There are people who do realize the value of what they had (or could have had) only when they lost it or it become inaccessible. But do you really care about those people who have not recognized your value in time?

Conclusion

For me, playing a game at the beginning of a relationship does not help much. I would even say that it is mostly counterproductive because being natural makes it possible to make a good sorting and to move away from people not interested as well as from those with whom there is no future. But that does not mean that you can do or say anything under the pretext that you want to “yourself”.

My advice is to be frank and to show (or let guess) your interest in the other. However, be careful, do not make me say what I did not say: avoid frightening her by saying “I love you” at the first date or by becoming too needy too fast. It must be realized that emotional dependence, when it happens too quickly, often reveals bad things and can constitute a reason for rupture (unless it is reciprocal, of course).

I am convinced that it is a bad idea to force people to love or desire us. I am absolutely against the stuff like “5 infallible tricks to make her fall in love with you” (it stinks too much despair). There’s a time when you just have to optimize your chances by doing personal development, giving time to time and letting nature do it… it’s called letting go.

To be able to apply this seductive acceptance: learn to fight against jealousy, show the limits to women or men who have a borderline behavior with you and continue to become always more attractive…

A lot of the rules of seduction are identical in closed environments (high school/university) and in open environments (street/clubs). However, there are big differences, such as the fact that in a closed environment, the emphasis is on personal development and a magnetic attitude, whereas in an open environment, the emphasis is on pure and hard pickup!

The state of mind

The first thing to know is that in high school and college, there are already sluts: I have already slept with high school girls and these were not the most difficult of my life.

However, these babes probably will not fuck the first night with a guy in their school… because they will be afraid for their reputation if it happens to be known (everything tends to be known in a closed environment because people love gossip). They may also be afraid of their first time, or have “principles” that they have seen on TV or in women’s magazines…

In addition, these girls are generally less experienced than older women and therefore are less confident. The less sexually confident women are, the less likely they are to let go in bed.

Then, it should be borne in mind that girls who sleep do not necessarily want to bang half-virgin guys who idealize too much women and won’t make them orgasm : exit the myth of the woman who likes to educate ! So forget the cowardly techniques like asking the friend of the girl you like to help you seduce her. All shy guys do that but it only works very rarely. In the trash also the technique of becoming her buddy to try to seduce her (friendzooooooone).

Do not go see a girl who does not know you at all by saying « I’m in love with you ». For a loser for whom it works, there are a thousand who are violently rejected. Why ? Because it’s scary, unrealistic and fucking needy.

In any case, stay somebody positive and do not forget that even if you are rejected, it does not matter. That’s how we learn!

Above all, do not let your friends fall for a chick because if ever one day she suddenly dumbs you, it is they who will be there for you… (friend before girls!)

Finally, understand that young girls, in closed environments such as college or high school, seek above all serious relationships to make their first experiments.

The look and attitude

In high school more than elsewhere, a good look can make the difference because teenagers are often superficial and hate marginals. But above all, do not become a detestable boaster.

Do not over-play the “dominant male who has been doing prizing since he discovered the community of seduction”, that would be ridiculous. Play it on the contrary humble and accessible, especially at first. The same rules that make the alpha sexy male in an open environment work in a closed environment. Make it simple with sexual humor as with clothes: do not use too elaborate stuff otherwise you risk receiving for only answers puzzled glances. Especially do not take the risk of being thought of as a weirdo.

The reputation

Much of the seduction in high school and college is done in a passive way: you need a reputation that seduces for you. You do not have to be “the sex-starved dude who picks up everyone but does not fuck anyone.”

I advise against picking up like a nuisance in closed environment: no crash & burn, no direct game… except perhaps in the parties at the end of the year or in very special festive contexts.

Indeed, when it does not work in this type of environment, it is a disaster. Now, you take a lot of rejections when you start: you do not need a reputation of loser with people you see every day.

And even when it works, it often turns badly a posteriori. That is why it is often said “no zob in job”.

In high school or college, the guys who get laid the most are generally not the most beautiful but rather those who have the best “social proof”. In my time, it was those who went already out in clubs, those who were part of the association of the students, and so on. It is a story of social dynamics.

How to proceed ?

To meet chicks, work on your social circle. In concrete terms, if you have friends in common with girls you like, make sure to be with them when they see one of these girls (for example during the recess) and they introduce her to you.

You can test the terrain with the girls you see regularly… but be subtle and let them get involved before you take initiatives! If they show interest in return, if they send you indicators of interest, go ahead, of course!

Do not start telling yourself “I will change after school holidays” or this kind of crap… because this is the best way to procrastinate and never get started. In any case, continue to cultivate yourself in seduction until you can apply more your seduction skills.

All tips that are personal development will help you be a cool guy: body language, how to communicate better, how to make girls laugh, and so on. On the other hand, forget the advice of pure pick up that is only adapted in open environment: for example, do not apply the rule of 3 seconds by approaching all the girls you meet.

However, in high school or college, you can of course dance several babes at the same time, but go soft and make sure that this is not obvious.

Where to find girls when you’re young?

If you are young and you cannot go out to meet the girls, you can always approach, on Facebook or Instagram, babes your age (not necessarily to fuck but only to kiss). Do not harass on social networks, do not publish stuff that could make you ashamed all your life and do not harbor negative gossip about people.

If there are parties with people from high school or college, try also to go there. Let yourself go on vacation in the summer camps or stuff like that.

To approach in a closed environment, it is better with a contextual approach. Do not wait for the perfect situation to get started and be as interesting as possible.

Once a girl seems receptive, you can take her number (or her Facebook) and propose her to go to the public garden, go swimming at the pool together or go for a drink on a terrace…

Above all, do not wait too long before trying your luck with a chick you like because the worst risk in closed environment is to waste your time and fall into the friendzone.

How to seduce during the back-to-school season ?

For the back-to-school season, the most important is to make a good impression. Let the most timid reassure: there are tricks, techniques that have proved themselves. For this purpose, I recommend a book, a soft one (for once), but relevant on the subject: Comment plaire en 3 minutes by Patricia Delahaie. And no, it’s not a product placement!

Some advice from this book to finish: you have to well choose your first words, ensure your voice, have a firm handshake, no inability to maintain eye contact, and have your back in a straight position.