Body language and seduction

I already wrote an ebook (How to sublimate your body language) which answers all the questions (or almost) about the body language. As a consequence, I am simply going to talk about the fundamental things here.

1) The eye contact :

when you speak, look at the others in the eyes. More the one who speaks looks at the other one in the eyes, more he is perceived as dominating (= alpha). When you listen : less you look in the eyes, more you appear as dominating. Here is thus the idea: establish your dominance by making her look away the first one, then maintain her eye contact when she says something particularly interesting… The rest of the time, concentrate on the landscape, people around, something on the table, her hair, etc. But especially not on the other girls: indeed, a man who is successful does not waste his time watching the ass of all the girls around him; and it is exactly the image which you try to give. There are chances, moreover, that they try to get noticed by wondering what is going on (basic rule: remove your attention, but not too much, and they will try to get it back). If however you choose to watch other women, in this case, assume!

RULE : AS AN ALPHA, YOU ARE NOT NEEDY.
COROLLARY: YOU HAVE “DESIRE” FOR HER BUT YOU DON’T “NEED” HER.

Do not look at your feet, raise the head: you are confident, you know that nobody will cut your throat (nobody will dare to attack you because you are an alpha who inspires the respect). Naturally wink and keep your eyes half-closed, it will deliver the message that you are relaxed. Indeed, having the eyes wide open is a “not confident” attitude (afraid of everything because of the danger which is everywhere at any time). On the contrary, a girl has to feel SERENE with you, and if you want to make it happen, you have to feel like it the first one. The feelings are communicative…

Do not look down before answering a question: if you have to look somewhere else, it is at first in the air then on sides. Do not go either too far with this game of look, do not detail her from top to bottom: it would be a slightly too aggressive game! Furthermore, if you are perceived as too much dominating, you will lose in kindness. We are going to develop this subject a little later but male seduction is a kind of compromise between kindness and dominance! Look somewhere else from time to time when you speak to her or look at her in the eyes when she says something! Your eyes must be relaxed and at the same time confident (very sexual).

The best compromise:
– When she speaks: you look at her 10 % of the time.
– When you speak: you look at her 90 % of the time.
– Before looking away, especially the first time, she must have looked away the first one.

NB : We don’t care about the color of the eyes. The clear eyes tend to be insipid, but are classy. The dark eyes are classy too. The shape and the intensity are more important. Thus, if you have green lagoon or chestnut poo eyes, if they are big or hidden by hair, know that they contain your power of seduction… Thus don’t lose your time with lenses of color or I don’t know what. Some people see the reflection of the soul there, I see the first and easiest way to penetrate into a girl.

2) The touch :

When you touch a woman, do not hesitate. If she feels the doubt in you, she will feel the doubt in her. It is still this damned principle of association that comes into play! Furthermore, being confident is very virile and is a pure attitude of alpha male. Take her hand, lead her, put your arm at the bottom of her back. Do not especially wait for her authorization (either explicit or tacit)! It is easier to act as long as she does not say “no” than waiting that she says yes before acting.

Be soft because if you are abrupt, it demonstrates a lack of confidence. When you speak, it is normal to touch the others. It creates some rapport and people will better remember what you said. Only a confident guy can freely touch a woman. Furthermore, it has to look natural (we do not look at her hand while doing it – rather look at her in the eyes). Touch her fingers while she shows you her new ring, etc.

Fighting for a woman is an attitude of male who feels insecurity. However, if a poor guy really looks for you, then it will unfortunately be necessary to go there and to kick his ass. But showing some cold and not answering a stupid and free provocation is another attitude of alpha dominating male.

RULE: YOU DO NOT SHOW INSECURITY: YOU DO NOT HESITATE, CONFIDENT MOVEMENTS, YOU ARE NOT HYPERSENSITIVE, ETC.

Trick : do something that would do the boyfriend of the girl and, by association in her mind, you will become her lover during a short moment: you thus will score points. For example, when we are in love, we can do yucky things just like removing her crusts in the corner of her eyes… and the girls can find that cute! Otherwise, feign: tell her to close her eyes and remove an imaginary crumb of the corner of her lower lips. Furthermore, it is an erogenous zone which will produce sex hormones if you stimulate it. It is the technique said “of the lover”!

3) The voice :

The scholars discovered that approximately 60 % of the women could be seduced by a man who would have just a beautiful voice, and that approximately 40 % of the women would agree to have a sexual relation with a man who has a sensual voice rather than with a macho man who would have an unpleasant voice but who would be more handsome. The girls would even maybe not be conscious of it, thus it becomes even more interesting to take advantage of their primitive instinct during a conversation. Knowing how to place your voice is one of the factors which will allow you to sublimate your physical appearance.

Using a soft and low voice shows that you are a dominated who tries to please the other one: yet, looking for approval = weakling. Let yourselves go, express your opinions, send to hell the women who do not respect you (they will not be used to see this kind of reaction because most of the guys are deaths of hunger who would satisfy all the whims of the girls just to keep a small chance to sleep with them…) But especially, do not hesitate … The hesitation testifies of a lack of self-confidence. Having a break before an importing point will make you, on the other hand, appear more competent and will leave a better track in the memory of people. The dominant control the conversation, speak with a frank voice and interrupt if it is necessary. Be precise and concise… Especially when you lead the conversation.

RULE: YOU DO NOT LOOK FOR NOR WAIT FOR THE APPROVAL OF THE OTHERS.

Avoid the « euuuh », the incomplete words, do not speak too fast, either monotonously, or too long breaks, and do not finish by “right?” it would reveal once again a search for approval. On the contrary, you have to have convictions and assume your opinions. If she interrupts you and thus what you’re saying becomes incomprehensible, start again your sentence calmly from the beginning. Always do like if you slept with the girl for several months (adopt a deep, soft, sexual and relaxed voice…)

A study aimed at determining which tone of voice allowed to “successfully approach a girl and obtain a second date” (thus “being successful” or not). Roughly, it emerges from it that :
– It is necessary to vary the tone: you can use at the beginning a high and colored tone and from time to time a low and monotonous tone;
– It is also necessary to vary the articulation: speed and rhythm;
– It is also necessary to vary the intensity: use a strong and variable volume and suddenly a decrease (confidence, enthusiasm, heat, tenderness…)

Indeed, people who have not much success use, on the contrary, a middle tone all the time, a low and stable volume, their speed and rhythm of articulation do not vary.

Conclusion: it is necessary to know how to adapt to circumstances (be flexible) because going away from characteristics of the shy and introvert people allows to influence the emotional state of the interlocutors by making them feel comfortable more easily.

In France, Serge Gainsbourg is known for having a sexy voice which pleases the women. And moreover, his provocative words turn them on. Listening to radio presenters can also inspire you… because they underwent a training aimed at helping them to sublimate the way they speak.

Concretely : In the situations when we are put under stress, we feel our voice modifying. The reference voice in seduction is the voice without stress. For example, the morning in the awakening : deeper, more relaxed, slower and more natural. To look in confidence when we speak, it is necessary to avoid: to stutter or to be afraid, to leave in treble, to have a hesitating speech…

In the nature : an animal does not understand the words we say, on the other hand, it understands the tone and sometimes the intonation which it associates with actions. Did you know ? The shout of the lion is paralyzing: the sound influences the reactions of its targets. Yet, isn’t it the purpose, influencing the girls in the sense which arranges you ?

You understood it, the attitude is a whole thing… the tone of the voice contributes to create attraction:
– You are virile (deep voice, testosterone) ;
– You are confident (calm, slow, clear, articulated voice) ;
– You are mysterious (breaks (silences), suspense, prolonging a word);
– You have a sense of humor (not monotonous, rhythmical, melodic voice which plays on the increase and the decrease of the volume, by playing on more or less high sounds) ;
– You are the prize (you speak from time to time with a certain indifference);
– You are sexy (speak on the same tones than the sounds emitted during the sexual act).

In brief, you can work on your voice. On the other hand, you should not too much change your voice at the risk of being depersonalized. For that purpose, it is necessary to find YOUR deep voice of virile man (and not creating a new one). Fortunately, when you will find it, you will know it… simply because you will be in accordance with what you will show to world.

Illustration : Somebody who is shy will probably have an abdominal contraction which will make him show a lot of restraint and a lack of confidence. Somebody who wants to hide something, on the contrary, will overplay like the politics sometimes do it. And the malaise will be tangible. Below, five aspects on which you can work to create more interest:
– The confidence (you are confident, do not seem to lie, do not look for your words);
– The sensualism (your voice is hot, deep – but pay attention to do not do it too much to don’t be ridiculous) ;
– The control (articulate, slow down the flow, have breaks, silences) ;
– The contents (be quick on the draw, be cultivated, why not to making nice plays on words) ;
– Bonus (pay attention to your intonation, your laughter, your rhythm, your accent, etc.)

Conclusion: the tone of your deep voice is attractive because is in accordance with your personality. It has character, depth and is pleasant. Train in front of a mirror and/or you record yourself to really hear : work the intonations which displease you, reproduce those who please you, etc. For it:
– Choose a sentence and say it in several ways
– Then, contract your muscles and repeat it ten times
– Finally, loosen and relax more and more and repeat it more slowly
– Bravo, you normally found your deep voice in the last repetition. Memorize it!

4) The posture :

Basic rule: you are an open guy (you do not cross either your arms or your legs).

Up, you can put your thumbs in your belt. The idea, roughly, is that you make yourself vulnerable simply because you are afraid of nothing. Hold your joint hands limp in front of your breast or your face to communicate some confidence. Otherwise, hands on hips, it works too. To better understand the idea: you have to have some volume, class, even when you are in a club and when neither you dance nor drink, nor speak to a buddy, etc. You never look lost nor bored…

Seated, rest your forearm on the table by leaving your arms open (arms outspread, palms face each other and fingers are a little bent towards the sky). The open palms show that we feel at ease and honest. If they returned that means that you hide something … What would mean, that at an unconscious level, the communication would not be made in quite sincerity. Making a girl whom we court wary is one of the worse things to do. Last point, do not put obstacle between you and her (for example a drink held or put in front of your breast).

If you are not in a hurry to go somewhere, walk by being relaxed and by communicating some confidence as if you were the king of the world: you move your arms and your shoulders in an elegant way, your step is more hopping, etc.

Watch out, below the classic errors: read what you have to avoid to don’t break the sexual tension.
– Not having hands nor fingers which tremble;
– Don’t touch your own face when you speak;
– Don’t fiddle with things on the table, neither the table itself, nor knocking with the fingers;
– Don’t cross arms in a general way (you are open);
– Don’t stiff or bent posture (you are relaxed) ;
– Don’t show nervous tricks of the face (to wrinkle the forehead, to touch your nose, to pinch lips) ;
– Not too many smiles (only when the situation lends itself to it);
– Don’t be slumped on something, either stiff but shoulders at their place;
– Don’t turn the head as soon as one calls you because you are not at the disposal of people… remember that you want to seem independent, busy and a little bit detached ;
– Walk more as a model than as a duck (look at a fashion show).

Before going farther, I have to underline something FUNDEMENTAL: having in the head the good attitudes is a good thing but is not enough ! Then, train in front of a mirror or record yourself to realize what you really looks like… You could have surprises and avoid being ridiculous while thinking you have class ! For example, a right way to stand up straight is to learn what we feel when we actually stand up straight. For it: stick, up, back to a wall. Your heels have to touch the wall, your back must be straight against the wall, your head has to touch the wall and your look to be horizontal. Fold knees and keep the same contact against the wall with your back, your shoulders and the back of your skull. Hold the position at least 30 seconds and get up then walk by keeping the break down from your body. Here is how you have to feel when you are very straight ahead. Repeat the exercise every day until that becomes a second nature ! Well, if you really want to improve your game, of course. There is also an exercise to stand up straight by walking on the heels.

Study for example the body language of James Bond who is obviously a major reference …

5) Kindness and dominance :

It is necessary to keep the image of a nice guy, but not “too nice” : it would not be exciting enough for them. It is thus necessary to balance these two parameters that are the dominance and the kindness.

For example : When we speak to you, bending over communicates interest and thus kindness. However, it is necessary to be sure that the girl is interested before showing too much interest for her. Did you get it ? At first, you lean back, then, you can give the impression that it is easy to speak to you. Establish your dominance THEN be nice. This sequence is the key.

In the same vein:
– Direct your body to the target, only when the domination is established;
– Smiling also increases your capital kindness;
– Adopt an open and especially relaxed posture;
– Get dressed like people that you see frequently but just a little better;
– Dressing in clear colors and in relaxed clothes limits a little the dominance and increases the “nice” side, the dark colors and suits have the opposite effect;
– Speak with a pleasant, meaning, relaxed voice and look awakened (interested) ;
– Avoid having unpleasant expressions of the face;
– Do not look too much somewhere else when she speaks;
– Don’t be too much next to her for nothing;
– Avoid the uncomfortable positions (remember that you feel at ease everywhere).

Basic rules : A “seduced” girl will be more eccentric. To achieve this outcome :
– Push her friendly by walking;
– Push her slowly with your buttocks;
– Give her a small collusive blow in her ribs;
– Squeeze her knees with a player face.

RULE: YOU ARE A PLAYER.

Also show that you are capable of protecting her :
– Walk on the side of the road on the pavement;
– Open the doors… and especially, lead her;
– Cross your arms around her;
– Put yourselves between her and a possible threat.

RULE: WE FEEL SAFE WITH YOU, WE ALSO FEEL THAT WE ARE IN GOOD HANDS, THAT YOU KNOW WHERE YOU GO, ETC..

Show that you will be capable of leading her (in particular up to your bed):
– By going somewhere, you allow her to go first (secure place);
– When you go out, you lead her outside;
– You lead her where you want to take her.

RULE: YOU ARE A LEADER, IT IS YOU WHO DECIDE.

– Breathe with the belly rather than with the breast;
– Take more space with your body;
– Do not: look worried, raise shoulders, wrinkle the forehead, move non-stop arms / legs, have the muscles of the face contracted (tension);
– When we ask for your attention, turn around slowly;
– Relax muscles. Slow down your movements like if you walked in the water (slow, fluid). You will so create a charismatic aura.
– Occupy the space with your arms / legs / trunk;
– Be persuaded that you are the boss, that the others are there to follow you;
– Keep the neck and the back aligned;
– You must be convinced that you can ask anything to the others, in a polite way, without needing to order them nor to be unpleasant.

RULE : YOU ARE RELAXED, YOU SEEM COMFORTABLE AND YOU BEHAVE IN A GOOD WAY IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

You have to pay attention on details:
– Remove the hands of your pockets;
– Have shoulders behind;
– Do not hide your hands;
– Raise your breast;
– Do not smile too much;
– Widen non-stop the width occupied by your body;
– Establish a steady eye contact;
– Have a posture and an approach of dominating, in confidence, have an upright position;
– Make slower movements;
– Look dead-ahead, or at the sky, but especially at not your feet.

RULE: YOU ARE OPEN.

Observe Chuck Bass’s body language, certainly studied and worked by professional coaches. What fascinates me with him it is that thanks to his attitude, he often comes before the fair-haired boy Nate (who is an absolute handsome boy) in the heart of the teenagers… Other: Tom Cruise in Top Gun, Damon Salvatore, etc.

6) Dominance in a group :

The theory wants that you are in the presence of the friends of the girl only after having fucked her… but well, it can happen (anything can happen.) then, anyway, to be AN alpha in a group, it is necessary:
– To be relaxed (nobody has influence on you);
– Let nobody affect your reality (if one tries to irritate you, do not fall into the trap);
– Don’t give a damn of what the other guys think (you look at them only when you speak to them);
– Respect the rules seen previously for the individual dominance.

You will maybe not be THE boss, but you will be close to the head… and, frankly, it is what matters. I see too often guys becoming intolerable because they had understood nothing: they tried to dominate everybody at all costs (too much egocentric persons). Being an alpha dominant male means, on the contrary, not crushing the others.

And what if there is the President at your table? This story of male alpha should not turn into a battle of ego in your head. Be realistic with this story of dominance! Concentrate on the fact of sending some male energy! On the other hand, being a good communicator has to be part of your seducer’s arsenal. And it is true in any circumstances.

RULE : KNOW HOW TO MAKE CONCESSIONS WITH THE MEN (AND WITH THE WOMEN) ACCORDING TO THE SITUATIONS.

A little precision to finish, prefer attracting away from her group a girl to whom you speak. The social pressure will be less strong for her, and she will more able to go as far as satisfying her lowest instincts !

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