Can we have a girlfriend without having sex with ?

There are guys out there who date for years girls wishing to remain virgins.

When you stay during 3 years with a girl without fucking her, sorry but I find it weird. I have never understood that a guy persists in this kind of relation (and no it is not because I am a nasty maniac who thinks that there is nothing else than sex in the life). Moreover, according to me, a chick can become your girlfriend only after having slept with you. And still, it is not the only condition, but it is a sine qua none one. A probationary period from the moment you start sleeping together is also necessary before declaring OFFICIALLY IN COUPLE (AND GETTING TOO EXCITED FOR NOTHING): it is necessary to see how that is going to evolve between you two. 12 weeks, it is reasonable.

In fact, I believe that everything takes place at the beginning when the girl announces that she is virgin/she does not fuck “like that”: you have to reframe her! Like if sex was a battle the man had to win over the woman… fucking urban legend! In reality, there are two winners: making love is a wonderful act. We always know better the other one and ourselves after than before (and washed it can be reused). Then, yeah, I laugh when a girl treats me smooth talker and accuses me of JUST wanting to fuck her. As if I could win something and not her. The thing is that when a guy fucks a chick, well, she fucks him too (some think of depreciating when they unlock their legs but well it is especially in the head because a tight-ass virgin it is not good either). We both enjoy, she has not less value after than before for me and I am very discreet on my relations (in spite of appearances: I change details and the first names in my stories)… Then what the fuck? On the contrary, these lousy principles are pain in the ass: if there is never action, that is going to piss me off and I will find another one with whom I would be on the same wavelength. Here is how she is going to miss her chance in a stupid way! Seriously: if you work hard to find a girl you like, to create some complicity with her, you are not going to leave her after 5 minutes of penetration. This is nonsense to make efforts to make a relation work if it is to break up just after. On the contrary, it is pleasant to enjoy the vibe then created by the intimacy. They are the best, these relations where the passion expresses itself freely. Well, at least that’s what I think…

Scenario 1: you play it gentleman

You apologize for wanting to venture into her string. You start a real plea and promise that you will not hasten things. You try to prove (to yourself) that you are a GOOD GUY. « Ohlala I am so lucky, you are a so respectful and thoughtful guy.
– We will do it when you will feel ready. » In the meantime…

She goes on holiday and lose her virginity on the beach with a brainless but with big muscles dude.

Scenario 2: you try to force it

You insist, you squeeze dry her. She starts welling up with tears and sulks, you sulk. Here you are officially attributed the label of “jerk”. A kind of malaise is appearing between you, you leave. And as to punish you …

She goes on holiday and lose her virginity on the beach with a brainless but with big muscles dude.

Scenario 3: you are level-headed

You take the drama out of the situation. You give her more and more envy during 2 or 3 dates without ever putting too much the pressure on her with that (she already certainly does it herself alone). If ever she raises the sensitive subject, you do not adopt virgin’s-attitude-who-understands-nothing AKA « I am ready to wait during 6 months that you feel ready ». You are rather confident, relaxed and seller of your body (not in the true sense of the word). The temperature rises, the spontaneity is there, she IS ready, she wants you, but she is afraid (then do not add stress – going out of her zone of comfort is rather difficult and even if often the reward is worth it it’s very often easier and thus tempting to say “no”). In the bed, make so that she enjoys. She will live an unforgettable moment full of impatience, excitement and apprehension. She will remember you all her life long. When you will see again each other, whether it is as couple or as improved friends (why always wanting to tidy up your relation in a predefined compartment?), it will be every time better.

She will maybe go on holiday and will sleep maybe with this brainless dude but she will think that you are a better lover than him and that she was lucky to meet you.

Explanations

You are a man, she is a woman. There is thus sexual tension between you, it is natural and it is what makes our world work. It is what explains that you will make love if you make none of the errors which reduce this tension. Illustrations:
– In the scenario number 1, it is the fact that you agreed to be treated as an asexual little boy who prevents you from making a success. If you do not want her, you will not fuck her. They want men. A minimum of testosterone and ambition. QED.
– In the scenario number 2, it is the fact that you sulk which settles a malaise between you. A woman needs to feel at ease to give way in the arms of a man. That can be understood : rare are fucks with enemies (even if it can be fun). QED.
– For more examples of what can break (and often breaks) the sexual tension between two human beings, you will find your answers in The inconvenient truth about gender relations.

On holidays on the beach, the princess feels less social pressure. And then, she doesn’t care that this dude takes her for a « easy girl, a whore » because she won’t see him again. Then she does what she really wants in fact. Certainly, you would have been both happier if she had hold the same logic for you but needs to believe that everything must be always complicated in life. Everybody would be happier if we less complicated things, if women learnt to have fun without complex and guys to accept it without lousy judgments marked with jealousy/frustration. Both protagonists are formated by the society, confined in stereotypical roles, it is crazy. If there are two sexes and a so strong attraction between them, in your opinion, why is it? So that we are damn bored or so that we enjoy together?

No sé, but I know the side I chose. Life is too short to be damn bored. And I am not asexual (it is necessary to know that it exists even if it is rare).

What pisses me off the most it is that often women feel guilty of having sexual thoughts, as if this fact made them dirty. Then they try to make so that the guys like me feel guilty of being in contact with their instinct, their natural desires (even if we remain respectful, they are not always respectful with us). Most of the guys thus adapt themselves and become docile doggies but without balls totally sexually dependent on an army of susceptible hypocrites. Bravo Ladies, you turn your men into very sexy alphas…

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