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How to stop finding excuses and to FINALLY act

stop excuses

When we want to approach a girl, when we are with a chick and hesitate to kiss her (or simply to sexualize the interaction), a little voice in our mind almost always whispers apologies to tempt us to do not act.

These excuses make people hesitate, procrastinate and sometimes even cause unpleasant physical sensations in some people (stress rises, heartburns, febrile legs, trembling voice) because of the internal conflict they create: basically, you wanna take action, but at the same time, you prevent yourself from doing it.

Thanks to these shitty excuses, the man can do nothing without too much remorse. Yes, it is much simpler to invent apologies than to confront fears … but it is not satisfactory. When we do this, somewhere in us, we realize that we are lying.

 

Where do these excuses come from?

Because we are a rather “intelligent” race, we tend to think and find excuses instead of following directly our first thought. This is the bad side of an evolved brain. My dog and my cat, for example, when they want to see someone, they go straight and jump on him or her without asking themselves many questions. To overcome your blockages, it would therefore be necessary to stop thinking too much and act!

 

Examples of excuses:

– I do not have time to go out and pickup right now, I’m too busy (when in fact… no…)
– I will not approach this girl, I’m already talking to another girl by texts on my phone, it would not be polite…
– Well… I’ll talk to her later, when she will no longer be with her friends who could judge me…
– I can not try to kiss her, I did not wash my teeth at noon…
– I have not showered since last night, I can not fuck her… and then, anyway, I jerked yesterday so I do not really have desire…

 

How can this silly little inner voice be silenced?

1/ Unfortunately, we can not silence our inner voice. On the other hand, we can don’t give a shit about what she tells or even take some malicious delight in contradicting her. Frankly, between us, it’s up to the girl to decide if she wants to kiss you or not, whether you have your teeth clean or not, so try your luck and you’ll see !!! Do not decide for people based on what you think they think…

2/ Another solution is to replace this inner voice which finds excuses by a voice that says more constructive things, for example “put one foot in front of the other, walk towards this beautiful blonde, look at her in the eyes and talk to her.”

3/ One can also sing or talk to a buddy so that the small inner voice can not express itself by saying negative things. It is in fact easier to control your inner voice than your external voice… and, fortunately, the two are struggling to express themselves at the same time!

 

How to dare?

At first, it is normal to sometimes be afraid to take action and seek to justify it afterwards. But to progress in seduction and move on in life, it is imperative to take a positive step.

The best solution is to decide something and do it. Set rules and stick to them, whatever the situation. In any case, the perfect situation does not often exist, so it’s better to adapt to a present situation rather than to fantasize on better conditions. However, because self-discipline often isn’t often enought, other avenues must be considered.

1/ One solution is to practice until you get sick of not getting there. Then, to get angry with yourself because you still do not dare to do what you want to do. Most men make the mistake of giving up when they get upset while it is a very powerful source of energy that can be exploited. Sometimes I force myself to approach at the beginning of the session (because the fear of the approach is and will surely always be there) but I do not expect anything from the chicks to whom I speak (I am in the game more than in the stake ). I do my act, I get rejected and I see it as a warm-up. Then I get upset because I realize that the fear of approach is useless. And it is often once warm that I no longer feel social fear and that I try some very daring things that sometimes work. Note that desensitization to social rejection also works with alcohol but I do not advise you to drink because it is very bad for health. And because a drunk guy is not very sexy.

2/ Some people overcome their fear of approach through small rituals or fetishes that allow them to motivate themselves and find enough courage to overcome their fears. Personally, I like to calm down before so I start playing on my breath, taking long inspirations/expirations.

3/ Frequenting and going out with people who are in the community of seduction can also help you get started. Indeed, with them, the social pressure is reversed and it is the fact of not approaching that becomes unacceptable. With my friends, sometimes we go out and slap every time we do not dare to approach a sexy chick. Sometimes, too, we give our money to a guy, and he gives it back to us little by little when we approach or kiss a girl. I can guarantee you that it motivates to move your ass!

4/ Another solution is to use the 3 seconds rule that Mystery has developed in The Game : to approach within 3 seconds when one sees a girl so as not to have time to have negative and parasites thoughts.

5/ You can also try to think differently. Instead of wanting to get something from the chicks (their validation or their pussy), tell yourself that you offer them the opportunity to meet an alpha guy and a good lover. You will be more confident with such a state of mind…

6/ You may very well choose not to think about the interaction. Do not try to imagine what might happen. Your philosophy would be to always try your luck “I wonder what would happen if I did this… ah well I will try…” This way is very instructive, we learn a lot about the possibilities by doing so (know that most people feel limited by a glass jail)!

7/ To finish, a technique that I have used for a long time is to systematically try to kiss or take the number of all the girls I approached and that I liked a little. So, I did not even do it really for the girl, but for me. As a challenge on myself. Who knows ? It could work for you too…

Anyway don’t forget that when one tries to repress the feeling of fear, it is increased. Then acknowledge that you are afraid and accept this fear. It’s normal to be afraid… But if you do nothing, this fear will NOT disappear as if by magic! Accepting to have been afraid once or twice, it’s OK. On the other hand, accepting to undergo this fear all your life, NO!

I advise you to try different things until you find what works for you. Do not get discouraged and do not forget that, as I often say “the most beautiful adventures take place outside our comfort zone…”

 

Is there valid excuses?

Finally, do not make me say what I did not say. There are still valid excuses: for example, if you are really late for work, if she is holding a guy’s hand, for example… or if she has a penis… you have to be discerning! Be scandalous if you want but do not do anything either. Be reasonable but courageous and open-minded !

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Seduction = Manipulation ? (NLP, hypnosis, techniques)

seduction manipulation
Image : The Jungle Book

Many men and women believe that “seducing” is “manipulating the other” and getting him/her to do things against her/his will (such as sucking a cock).

Seduction has always fascinated, in antiquity yet Ovid published the Art of Love, and Auguste scandalized sent him forever into exile! Famous seducers and seductresses, real and fictional characters mixed (examples: Casanova, Valmont and Merteuil of Dangerous Liaisons), contribute to this mixed effect of fascination/repulsion.

The game is a complex discipline that can be fascinating but also scary (because people are afraid of being seduced against their will)… a little bit like magic in the Middle Ages.

I will try to explain why there is no “ugly manipulation” in what we, the Pick-Up Artists, do.

 

Techniques of manipulation and influence: the share of prejudices and bad faith

The ignorant, the politically correct people, the envious perhaps, often reproach us for manipulating because we teach and use different verbal and para-verbal communication techniques.

But how would it be wrong to use techniques to communicate better? Through them, discussions become more fluid and enjoyable. So, of course, they create an atmosphere of confidence… but is it really a problem to want the person we are talking to does not perceive us as a threat (especially if we only have good intentions) ? If you criticize the game for that, then you must also criticize politicians, salespeople, marketers, spin doctors… otherwise you are in bad faith.

In fact, I would even say that we all must be aware that if we think like that we are all manipulated on a daily basis… and that we manipulate others too (often without even knowing it), depending on how we turn our sentences. Let’s take a simple example: a parent tells his child “I’d like you to put your room up. You do not HAVE TO do it, but it would still be a good thing…” Well, there’s manipulation.

To open your eyes, read Les influences sournoises by Jean-Léon Beauvois (a psychologist from Aix). This book explains that the society in which we live is not as neutral as we generally think and decrypts many of these mechanisms that are in charge of (slyly)  influencing us… You will understand that as soon as you watch TV, advertisements, or even that you go out of your house… you are manipulated.

The result is that we all have, on ourselves and on others, false ideas, oriented by the social game that makes us believe in psychological realities. Beauvois also warns about the phenomenon of internalisation, which sometimes makes us accept, make ours, and even claim things as personal ideas, whereas these are only things we have been persuaded (and sometimes even against our own interest… that’s why we have to learn to think for ourselves!)

The game, therefore, is not a series of techniques without logic (contrary to preconceived ideas): it is a way of learning to reveal oneself. To emphasize one’s personalit, to provoke one’s chance and then to communicate intelligently to discover the other and make him/her want to know us in return. Certainly, we try to present ourselves in a day that is advantageous to us, but that is all you can accuse us of. And it’s hardly any different, certainly no worse, than a chick who puts on heels of 10 cm or who makes a lot make-up, or who gets prostheses, or all together. Because if we think like that, it could be said that it is manipulation too… to make a man get hard… it’s ridiculous !

 

Speed seduction: prejudices

We are also criticized for using NLP and hypnosis to manipulate people to make them do what we want. This argument reveals a lack of knowledge about NLP and hypnosis: even an asshole who could not read could have watched episode 18 of Mentalist’s season 1 and would suspect that one can not make someone do something he/she does not want to do in fact. Except with a brainwashing, but this is yet another degree of manipulation and it takes a lot of technical resources to achieve it.

In addition, NLP and hypnosis are very difficult to master: this is not what comes to my mind spontaneously when I talk about the game, it would rather be develop your nerve, your self-confidence, opening your mind… there’s nothing magical about it. Be aware, however, that this part of seduction based on hypnosis and NLP, mysterious and almost legendary, is what we call “dark seduction”. This is not the best facet of the game and many players even refuse to initiate!

 

A PUA lies to have sex

A guy is a PUA when he satisfies his need for affection, for sex, that he has learned life a little bit and that he is well in his head. There is no manipulation in it… when one gets to be free in his mind, he does not care about the opinion of others (especially those who have understood nothing). So we do not need to lie like sex-starved people. We make our best proposal, card on table, sometimes disconcerting of simplicity and we seek people like us who have managed to free themselves from diktats, social pressure, and all those prisons of glasses that prevent us from really living. We also sometimes try to open the eyes to peopl… it seems to me to be a noble fight!

A PUA is not a heartless man who abuses his new acquaintances: normally, when you have been really humiliated (by women in this case because they are not tender with us on the field), it makes you more humble, more humane. Finally, that was my case. I was able to overcome a lot of my neuroses thanks to the game, so I do not want to make people suffer, I rather try to do some good around me.

 

The game is a scam

The game is one of the least costly and the more effective forms of personal development that exists. It certainly made it possible to avoid quite a lot of suicides, unlike the psychoanalysts who take the money of their patients for just waiting for a miraculous cure…

True, the pickup can create some neuroses (I think of those guys who know all the acronyms by heart and split their hair when they talk to a girl) but eventually we overcome our obstacles and heals more problems (and more serious one) than we create.

Now, I will not tell you that there are only choir children in the seduction community. Some have detected a vein and just want to make money on the back of desperate guys. There are some who are bad but who think they are good. Against them, it is up to you to be discerning, because it is a little bit a jungle: there is what works and scams (be aware that if you see a miracle or infallible method, it smells bad). But if the proposed content is serious and not a fucking joke, yes, it works… I am living proof.

And in addition, it helps people who are trained to be a little less manipulable/influencable. Because an alpha, supposedly, is not a sucker that is easily manipulated.

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What women call feeling

A part of the “feeling” between two people corresponds to the unconscious communication between them. You can increase the number of people with whom you have a feeling by improving your body language and by studying interpersonal communication.

But it’s not just about that.

The exact definition of the feeling is “the way one feels this or that situation”. Because the “feeling” is what a person feels, it depends largely on his/her state of mind (by definition). So, a part of a pick up depends on the mindset of the target.

I have met, as you know, many girls on the Internet. And many of these women wanted to know if there would be “a feeling between us” before coming to my place to make love. In fact, I understand what they meant: they wondered if they would have the intuition that it would be good in bed with me. But I think this is (in a sense) a bad selection criterion. I will explain why.

 

A question of context

It must be understood that there are situations where a girl will feel the “feeling” with a guy and others where she won’t… with this same guy.

For example, if you go on a first “walking” date with a chick during which you stay one meter from each other all along… this is being little conducive to touch, and thus you have very little chances to have a good “feeling”. A date around a drink would probably be more opportune, especially because you could look at her in the eyes.

But, no matter what kind of dating, it’s often up to us (men) to do the work, to touch the girls and that kind of thing… to make sure there’s a feeling. So that they have the impression that “it goes well” between us.

In fact, it’s boring. When you think about it, most of the chicks are a bit waiting for it to fall down from the sky. And if they are a little stressed by the fact of having date: they will be uncomfortable, which will prevent this famous “feeling” to pass.

Because it is necessary to realize that if the girl does not know how to manage her stress, it will be very easy and very tempting for her to take refuge behind the excuse “we have no feeling” so as not to leave her comfort zone. Then, she will complain to her girlfriends that online dating sucks… when in fact, it is she, who sucks.

I think that at one time or another, if chicks want to orgasm, they have to put some good will into it.

 

A short story

I remember a date with a girl who wanted to see if there would be a “feeling” between us or not. Online, we decided to go to my house to have a drink but at the last moment in face to face, she demanded to go elsewhere to see if I was not a psychopath who wanted to murder her. Well, if I were a killer, I would not have told her anyway. It’s stupid but so true…

So, I was just out to pick her up and get her to go to my house. I had no money with me nor anything at all. Unprepared, I insisted that she come to my house, like if it was normal (in fact, it is). But she replied “if that’s what you want, I’m leaving, we’re done.” It creates a chill. It was only her second date with Tinder in her whole life and she yet wanted to do things in her own way, to dictate her rules.

I do not know why I accepted (the principle of coherence probably since I had left my house – too bad, there was a good movie on TV). So we went for a “stroll”. But she was simply there, killing my initiatives and redirecting the conversation on asexual subjects.

The worst thing was that she allowed herself to judge a lot of stuff, for example, she told me that only riffraff pick up in the street. Another example: she said she was on Tinder “just for fun” but that my profile had caught her attention but that usually she only met people in parties.

I’m pissed off by this reductive mindset so I did not make any effort and wanted to go home after 30 minutes… even if she was not ugly. It finally lasted 1h30… for nothing. She, just like me, did not want to fuck. Even if we had talked a lot about sex on Tinder.

Yet, if she had come over to drink a tea with me, we could have raised the sexual tension in a place where our impulses could have been unhindered.

It plays, in fact, the intimate place : she could have let herself go and be the bitch she claimed to be on Tinder instead of playing the tight-ass. For my part, I have not been oversexed either, but, in my defense, she left me no chance to be. It makes me laugh, the chicks who would like a guy to kiss them against a wall and fuck them wildly but who keep their distance and send no signal when there is a sex beast in front of them.

Finally, if we had fucked together, I would probably have made her orgasm like she rarely enjoyed in her life (see The awesome lover’s manual), which would have dropped the last barriers of intimacy.

Then, we could really have talked about everything and nothing in a fluid way, without stupid little game. And everyone would have been a winner. We must stop believing that if we do not have much to say before sex, we will have nothing to say afterwards and that the fuck will be bad because we will have no complicity. In fact, sex is an effective way to create a connection with someone.

Instead, it was a lose-lose scenario. Everyone was disappointed. So maybe she did not like me IRL while she liked my pictures (everything is possible)… but in this case, she should have said it directly. We would have saved a lot of time and energy. Even though, finally, this little digestive stroll made me feel good (thanks to it, I slept like a baby after)!

It reminds me of an episode of Sex & The City where Carrie had a sexfriend with whom sex was extraordinary. One day she decided to invite him to the restaurant to do “non-sexual” things and see if a more serious relationship could be envisaged with him. But it turned out that this guy was as boring as rain outside the bed : they had no other complicity than sexual complicity. And yet, she orgasmed like never before with him. So, should she have missed these moments of ecstasy if they had gone on an hypothetical first date at the restaurant ?

In my life, it happened regularly that the chicks who have come to my place to have sex directly are tense, crossed arms, and so on. But as soon as I began to approach to warm them, something lit up in them. And it remained activated after sex. Yet, if we had a drink in a bar with them instead of meeting up at home, I’m not sure I would not have gone back home alone.

Last point, some needed to drink alcohol to feel comfortable enough to do what they really wanted to do in fact. Of course, when you’re drunk, the feeling usually goes much better. But, frankly, we need to know ourselves and control ourselves so that we do not need to resort to those kinds of things that cause health problems.

The conclusion is that “intuition” is a good criterion for those who know themselves a minimum, who assume and who know how to manage their stress. For the others, it’s crap. Finally, I do not throw the stone at them, if they were not torn between the desire to orgasm freely and this fucking social pressure (and by the pressure that they put on themselves on their own)… we would not be in this situation !

Good luck, kinky boys!

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Procrastination and avoidance strategies

Procrastination and avoidance strategiesProcrastination is the tendency to systematically postpone certain actions, an activity, a particular task. The procrastinator can not “go to work”… especially when it does not provide instant gratification.

But being a “chronically late person” does not mean doing nothing. Rather, the subject can do a lot of things (go shopping, a spring cleaning, repainting the shutters and calling his grandmother) as long as these things are not related to a really problematic task for him.

At the end of the day, the procrastinator says he finally has not advanced much in his project… But it does not matter, because tomorrow he will do it seriously, he promised.

 

Who is concerned ?

Anyone can be subject to procrastinatation, for one reason or another. I give you examples: adults eager to learn by themselves but leaving their books gathering dust, students losing their time on Youtube instead of revising, people who want to diet or quit smoking and who always promise to do it the next day, etc.

 

The causes :

Studies have shown that there is a connection between procrastination and: anxiety, perfectionism (fear of your own judgment or the one of others), low self-esteem, boredom, apathy and impulsivity.

Some perfectionists are therefore affected by procrastination. Since they can not bring themselves to make an average job and since a perfect job takes time and effort, they prefer to avoid the task. Procrastination is often related to fear of failure.

Others say they are “overwhelmed” and do not know where to start. This may be the case in seduction because of the mass of available information. I’ve prepared a plan for you to make it easier : click this link to see it.

We can also see in procrastination a fear of success, or rather an unconscious fear of change, a fear of breaking a vicious circle (a void is left). The feeling you have to be (very well) prepared before doing things can be another reason for procrastination.

According to the psychologist Walter Mischel from Stanford University, who conducted experiments in the 1960s, procrastination is a phenomenon mainly due to a lack of learning of self-control, of our own desires. But, he said, and some other scholars after him, we can learn it quickly and well. It’s encouraging !

 

Excuses :

If you’re a procrastinator, you always find a good excuse to justify your behavior. You turn around the bush but it is just a self-deceit. Excuses are divided into three types:
– Lack of time and other non-renewable resources ;
– Lack of money and other renewable resources;
– Lack of personal talent, stuff like “I do not feel capable.”

Those that are found most often when you pick up with guys are :

“I will not approach a girl until all the conditions are not met. There are too many people around. I’m not out for that. This is not the right place. I did not go to the hairdresser. And I do not have the level to succeed so why trying? “

“There’s too much noise in this club, I will approach in a party when we can hear each other…”

“I’m not feeling really warm tonight, next week it will get better. I’m not in the mood.”

 “I’m in high school, once in college I’ll move my ass.” And once in college, “I will start after my exams, now, I’m too busy! “

“I’m only 16 years old, it’s hard to approach girls at my age, when I’ll be 18 I will feel more comfortable to do so.” At 19, “I do not feel very good right now, we will see that later.”

“This girl is walking too fast, I will approach the next one. In addition, she is not hot enough, I’m not motivated enough. And she does not look nice, I guess she’s a superficial rich girl, anyway.”

Since there is no admissible reason not to act here, we can conclude that these are just excuses of cowards. And it turns out that this is indeed 99% of the time the case! I don’t give a damn what you plan to do in the future. I want to see action now. Because an initiative worth 1000 words.

 

The concept of avoidance strategy:

Avoidance is a behavior which consists of avoiding what would confront you with your anguish. We have to realize that most people live in a glass prison.

Avoidance strategies through such excuses make you still feel a vague unease behind your bad faith. While a saving efforts would help you improve your well-being. Otherwise, I would not piss you off with that.

However, if you do not make the effort, you will try to find an excuse for keeping internal consistency and justifying your inaction. And it can last long…

But I don’t know if there is really a good time to get out of your comfort zone. To start a better life. I guess that the perfect time is now… Make a decision, let’s say… tonight, not next year. And try to stick to it!

If you do not succeed, do not be discouraged; you are probably the most severe judge of yourself… then why don’t you think possible for you what you think is possible for another one? Be patient and sympathize with yourself! And try again!

I often meet girls who want to realize their fantasies (like threesomes) and that are seductive as the prospect is distant but get cold feet at the last moment under muddy excuses. “I have a little stomach ache tonight so I do not come”: it is a normal reaction because it stresses them, going out of their comfort zone, but we must see beyond that! Then know that to live exceptional things, you must deserve them a little, by daring for example! The worst is « I want it to happen in a spontaneous way » : fuck you, everything does not fall from the sky.

 

The solutions :

If you are not able to stand back, never forget that whether you act or not, time will pass anyway. This is a real constraint so use it wisely. So you need to review your priorities and analyze what really blocks you! It’s not when you’ll be 60 that you will fuck young girls! Select the most important things, the ones that will give you the most well-being. Finding a girlfriend (or several) and having a regular sexual activity, is it important to you? How important ? See for yourself (without bad faith). Tackle what will make a real difference in your life, and go after things.

Then, realize when you procrastinate or use a strategy of avoidance and know how to recognize when these excuses (and your little inner voice) work for you or against you. Shut it up when it’s against you. Set yourself achievable goals (you need a bit of discipline): at first, it will not be fucking four new girls a week. But approaching three girls a week, for example. Change your thinking, put stuff in perspective, change the words you put on things and try to be positive. Think of the feeling of satisfaction, of the immense pleasure it will bring you to finally have this thing DONE! Even if you’ll probably have to work hard at the beginning (it’s not easy). Prove that you have some character, some will!

With regard to dare approaching a girl :
– At the beginning, be in the game rather than the stake. It will save you from too much stress.
– Do not try to make perfect approaches (who cares ? It puts too much pressure and then who can judge you anyway?)
– Keep it simple: one idea per sentence, do not try to be TOO original, just try to do…!

Anyway BRAVO for reading this article until the end, for not having postponed the reading. It shows that you feel that something is wrong and you want to change it. This is a very noble goal, wanting to move your ass.

So, sign up for a seduction forum to meet players from your city, sign up for Tinder to meet girls easily and start reading my blog to improve yourself in seduction! Courage, it’s worth it!

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The concept of reality in seduction

We will talk today about the concepts of “reality” and ” frames control,” applied to seduction.

These notions are fuzzy, so we’ll try to make them clearer. This is important because assimilating them helps to understand the complexity of the world around us: these are concepts of communication at large, not just pick up stuff.

 It is important first to understand that reality exists, but that each person sees it differently: each of us has a different and subjective representation of it. Edgar Morin speaks of “cooperation from the outside world and our mind to build reality.”

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming, it is said that “the map” (our representation of reality) is not “the territory” (absolute reality). The reality of a person consists of beliefs and rules. Our representation of reality is the card that allows us to locate ourselves in the world. You should know that if one doesn’t have life one desires it’s probably that one does not use the right map.

Be careful : here we’re talking about strong beliefs, ones that will push us to adopt a lifestyle in agreement with defined values. For example, a good belief that pulls us up would be to say, “I can influence the course of my life at any moment.” In more advanced cases, there is religion or reincarnation. The type that influences our thinking and our behavior. For someone who believes in God, and God is here and helps. Even if ultimately there’s no God (we don’t know), the one who lives with the belief that paradise awaits after death is less afraid of his own end and has a more serene life. It helps so it’s a positive belief.

There are also constructive beliefs that help in seduction eg “any interaction is positive (even rejections) in the sense that it gives some experience”, “it is possible to take the number of a girl in street then to see her again and sleep with ” or “every no moves closer to a yes.”

What will disturb in this article is to understand that, as stated by Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars « many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. »

Our beliefs are not reality but all our beliefs shape our reality. This is why you have to keep an open mind, think for yourself and be tolerant with people who are.

 

A strong reality

All you do is dictated by your depiction of reality. Your attitude, your reactions, your body language reflect your reality and intensity. Having a strong reality therefore requires having a powerful inner game that is to say, a good mind.

My reality was forged by dint of sleeping with beautiful girls. Now I tell myself that I’m entitled too. The fact that they sleep with me is normal. And I know I am capable of giving orgasms to 99% of girls. This makes me very confident. This is a very positive reality that does not hurt anyone... and even if actually all girls don’t like me (far from it): I’m liked by enough to have a great sex life! Reminds me a line of OSS117: Jean Dujardin takes a rake and the only answer that comes to his mind is “what, you do not like men?”. Indeed, in his reality, a straight girl is inevitably attracted to him.

In addition, having a positive reality like this one helps to seize opportunities. Because we see things through the prism of our reality: when you are not positive, you often miss things because do not see or do not read the right way. On the other hand, when you think that things are possible, it’s a little like if you attracted them. That is why we must always strive to be positive!

If so many guys have seen, with me, their sex life greatly improved… it’s because they have SEEN what is possible to do. And when they began to believe, they behaved so that it also happens to them. (To enlarge your field of possibilities, I recommend you read my Diary of a French PUA where I tell my adventures on the field with girls.)

Warning: Some are so jostled by this reality that they are in denial and become aggressive or reject me.

The alpha male knows that his reality is more important than the reality of an unknown woman, so he sucks her in his reality or kick her out of his life! It’s regularly that one says I’m ugly and I do not know how to pick up a girl… and yet the results are here (reinforcing my reality) so I don’t give a shit about the vision of these girls. It even makes me laugh when I’m in a good mood. I even managed to convince some of the validity of my vision (and after I’ve fucked them).

I have approached the same way many girls : some have loved it, others have hated it. Which ones were right? None, actually. The important thing is that I did not let me down by the gossips and I continued my way by focusing on good results. Hence the need to surround yourself with positive people.

 

Impose your frames

The frame is, literally, the general framework of the interaction: this is the reality as it is apprehended by the communicators. Each interaction has its frame that must show YOUR reality. Watch my other video about frames here…

Reframing is changing this framework: it comes down to see the problem in a different way.

Examples of different frames:
“My drink is half empty” (negative frame)
“My drink is half full” (positive frame)
“My drink is half full of water and half full of air” (very positive frame)

Controling the frame is controling communication : it’s sucking people into your reality. This amounts to direct the conversation and check the direction that it takes. This is very important, in seduction, to don’t let girls suck you into realities as “men must invite women 5 times at the restaurant before bed” or “spanking is degrading.”

I prefer to communicate that “sex is normal and natural” rather than “only whores have sex on the first date.” This frame is strong and avoids me many headaches. But I can not say this loud out to a woman (saying it explicitly communicate some insecurity about it) it would not be credible, although it is reality. MY reality that helps me move forward in life, head high.

Sometimes, of course, my dates go wrong (that is to say, I do not sleep) with girls (about 1/10). But I do not let the bitter taste of defeat depress me because I know it’s just the reality of the girl that did not match with mine. That does not mean I’m “a disgusting big pervert” but “she was a little too afraid of sex and is not ready to get out of her comfort zone” or better yet “she did not seized her chance for once she might have come across a good lover.”

In my reality, the woman wins as much or more than me when they sleep with me… so they must deserve sex as much as me. But sometimes, there is nothing to do: women in front of me block and do not see the interest to orgasm when they have the opportunity if it’s not with a guy they love and who has committed to start a family even sometimes before having tried the girl. Except that “carpe diem”: maybe tomorrow we will take a brick on the head and die frustrated for nothing so it is better to enjoy this day. Well, it is my vision.

Beware, though, sometimes you have to compromise so you’re not a big rigid asshole (alpha is not necessarily a big asshole): for example, even if you do not like smokers, sometimes the cigarette with coffee after a meal is inevitable for an inveterate smoker. What then is the point of pissing her off for that? It would just lead to an argument and to do not sleep with the girl... on the other hand, if you want to spend your life with her, it’s different and you will have to tell her that the cigarette disgusts you.

 

Good frame / Bad frame :

She: If you do not buy me a drink, I’m leaving.
Loser: Do not go away… okay.

She: Buy me a drink.
Winner: Why don’t you pay me a drink if you want me to stay with you?

 

The congruence:

If you have to “think” for one hour about what to answer to stay in your frame, it means that you are not really in it… and then everything I spoke about becomes very difficult.

By the way, it’s really difficult… because changing your mindset into a mindset of winner is the ultimate goal of the game that will make you not only a man who attracts women but also a man successful in his whole life.

In the long term, an alpha frame should impose to you, should become a reality, a second spontaneous nature. So you’ll always be yourself, but a better version of yourself more confident, more sexual, more attractive…

 

Good luck for building your constructive reality, handsome guys!

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The best advice I can give you

The best advice I can give youAt first I started the game in order to have sex with beautiful women. I admit, I was sick and tired when the others made out with girls while I masturbated.

But once I started to fuck 2 new girls per month (after a little more than one year of game): guys wanted to know how I was doing.

Few men will admit it but many need and want to know what I do now. And frankly, it makes me feel good to help my fellow men getting what they want (sexy girls). It’s even a new motivation for me now, sharing my knowledge with those who trust me. The timing is good.

But yet, they and I should eat humble pie. With the game (like in life), the idea is to always be a student, to never take our positions for granted. There is always something new to learn in seduction. A new way to use an old technique. Or a completely new approach for finding some quick & easy sex / a long-term fuckfriend.

If most guys really acted on only a small part of the things I talk about on the blog – two or three percent – their problems would be solved yet! Everyone would bathe in a sea of cyprine and I would look at my young Padawans proudly, like a pimp smiling among his girls fucking rich clients.

But things do not happen like that, right?

I’ve been doing this long enough and saw enough guys to know that if I’m lucky, maybe 15% of people who read me will fuck a lot of beautiful babes.

And the other 85%? I don’t know. Many will sort out the advice “I agree with that” and “I do not agree with this.” Of course, people rarely agree with the things that would really change their habits or beliefs. In other words, many reject what would really help them… so they just make poor efforts while staying in their comfort zone. Then they cheerfully complain about not having the wonderful results they were promised. Phew!

What I know for sure, on the other hand, is that there is certainly a lot of reasons for the fact that guys do not actually take action. Many excuses, lots of bad faith: it is easier to spend time criticizing the process and methods than to make real efforts.

Here’s the naked truth: if you do not take it to heart, if you are not seriously implied in your personal development process focused on seduction, if you have personal beliefs that hold you back, I can not really help you. I know you deeply want it, and maybe reading me gives you a clear conscience, but you must act! It’s just like with workout (and anything in life) : You can pay for a sports club but if you do not lift weights and do not adopt a healthy diet, you will never be “huge and sex.”

Let me be clear: everything I share with you works, it worked for hundreds of guys in recent years (indeed I thank them for sending me their feedback) and it will still work for some. But it only works if you actually take it into account. Only if you take it seriously and invest to improve your life, your success rate with women… then stop “thinking” about sex all the time and move your ass to actually take some girls in doggystyle.

My life has been revolutionized by the game. The game has changed my life and I know it can change yours too. That’s why it makes me sick when I think of all those people who are unhappy in their situation but who do nothing to change it. Because I was in their shoes, and I know that we can get by. It’s too bad…

It does not make those people bad people. It’s just that, honestly, youcan not help someone who has not decided to help himself (or who has decided to fake it). I can help you effectively if you are motivated and hardworking, if you really aim to get out of the hole and sexually change your life for the better – and, what’s better than a bouncing, in front of your eyes, of a pair of young natural tits, to the rhythm of young hottie working her hamstring while riding your cock all night long?…

I think it really is time to take action… to do things, to prove yourself that sex is not an insurmountable problem. Are you a serious man? Are you determined? Are you consistent?

If so, the best place where to start I know is here. I have been in your shoes, not knowing how to catch the problem. That’s why I decided to make an effective plan to help you (click the link). You will find quality work that will let you understand how the game works and how to become an expert. But there are no free lunches, and we must know what we want in life, do not just do half the job. I personally needed quite a studious summer of work for theory and more than a year of field tests coupled with the reading of a few ebooks and the watching of some seminars to maintain my knowledge. Are you ready for that? Is it worth it for you to work so hard? You can succeed a little faster than me if you have good sources (I lost a lot of time reading crap) but, anyway, there’s no miracle…

I hope you are not getting discouraged but I’m tired of these people who do not know what it means “investing” in a project. I’m pissed off by those who do not have the mentality of a winner – i.e. stop crying, stop thinking about an ex… and go for it – but certainly do not want to acquire it.

You can change, you have the right to change, you have the right to fuck hot babes. But do you deserve it? You’re the only one who has the answer. Tip: always go to the end of your efforts and do not listen to your lazy or your internal avoidance strategies. Show yourself worthy of your ambitions! Before you say that all the girls are cunts, and the Game does not work, have you really put the odds on your side?

Kick your own ass and stop passively watching your younger years and your sex life pass you by!

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The hero syndrome (savior)

Unless you are in a relationship established for ages, and yet, you will not be THE fundamental condition for the proper functioning of your girlfriend’s life. The one that will try to make you believe otherwise is a girl with a lot of problems, and girls with problems: you do not want them.

In my discussions and my encounters with girls, I often found this common thing: they like to find a little chaotic guys to get them back on track. The hero syndrome version girl, their desire to do something good for a hopeless case. If girls like bad boys, that’s for their impulsive and dangerous side, certainly, but also because they have the secret hope that one day they will manage to change them.

In our case, guys, this syndrome results in our attraction for the girls that need attention. Somehow, they give us some importance, they satiate our thirst to help others, this basic need to be someone’s hero. Bulk girls, we can like them just for that, it is obvious that choosing between a depressive alcoholic who speaks of her father like if he was a dead rat and a healthy girl (who practices yoga and eats organic food, hahaha) and has 30 million friends including lesbians, we choose the second. But the first category all the same has this “SOS women in distress” side we like.

We like the Lancelot side, this little “je ne sais quoi” that makes us feel more useful than usual, this little thing that boosts our ego… That’s why personal development is such an important part of seduction: realizing our own value and developing it, it’s coming off the shitty values that we have received during our education, while keeping the important ones. An awesome guy will so logically never go into the category of poor girls, unless he has a void to fill.

In short: even if we want to be a hero because it’s “in”, because women are touching when they are afraid or when they cry, let’s keep in mind that we are a normal guy. If you want to be the man of every situation for her, while you do not know her that well, realize that you are doing an unhealthy blocking. If she wants you to take major decisions in her life for her, if she wants to get you in the diagram girl = victim / guy = protector, understand that she is a girl with problems.

Recognizing your own value and developing it by having a rich life and a vibrant social circle, is moving away from this kind of chicks. In addition, being the hero is no use: in the end, Leia ends with Han Solo, the jerk. Chuck with Blair and Elena fucks Damon.

Seek medical help, girls, seriously.

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Shoud you be yourself in seduction?

Shoud you be yourself in seductionOne of the politically correct advices that we find most on the seduction forums is “be yourself”.

This is bad advice!

People often say that to be successful and find love, you must just be yourself. It is vague… and especially condescending! It comes to saying, “You have problems, but please do not change: you are special, but nobody notices. Be optimistic, one day everything will go well for you.” Yeah right, it’s always the fault of others… It is especially a great propaganda to castrate you while pleasing you.

This advice is not to be taken literally because it insinuates that things happen on their own in life. But it is in 99% of cases, not the case. If you want something, the job or the girl of your dreams, you have to deserve it and go get it. The aim is certainly to be yourself but not to simply be happy with what you already have.

Misinterpreting “just be yourself” would be:
– Not making efforts to progress;
– Not working on your inner game nor on your limiting beliefs;
– Not trying to correct your errors with practice.

Chicks can more than us content with saying it’s easy to pickup and there is no need to make much effort because there are a lot of sex-starved ready to fuck anyone out there. They can therefore so hold a conversation as stupid as a candidate of Secret Story, make-up anyhow and never question themselves… they will always have suitors who want to fuck her even if they do not make efforts. This is not as easy for most of the guys, it’s unfair, but that’s life!

The girl then chooses among the contenders at her level but does not give herself the choice among all men. The wait-girls attitude is not really surprising… remember they often hear during all their childhood that they are princesses and prince charming will come alone, by himself on his white horse, pushed by instinct or by good fairies (hmm I want to fuck a fairy)!

What does it means, “be yourself”?

Resist the temptation to try to please at all costs, which would be seen as a weakness of personality. Too many guys think that to have a chance with a woman, they must as much as possible agree with her and accept whatever she wants to do. Never change your values or your views to please a girl.

Do not force the similarities, just steer the conversation on these and enhance them. But do not invent some! It’s better to be honest and true. It is even a filter: those who are not made for you will go away!

Being yourself is not obvious.

Many men are frustrated (and agree to be submitted) because they undergo all the time the discourse of women that often ask them to wait, to be patient, to give them gifts, to submit to their desires, etc. Consequently, they lose their inner nature, and frustrate their true instincts, their true “self”, and take less initiative.

This paradoxically has the effect of offending women and of making men live in a form of discomfort. True, they need time, and to know you better, but at the same time, they want a real man, who remains dominant and sexed.

Basically, you are a man with sexual desires (and they are women with sexual needs too) thus: be yourself! But be the REAL yourself without repressing yourself, and assume yourself! I insist but my advice is not to tell you to don’t be yourself nor to be what I want from you… it’s to tell you to be the REAL yourself !!! Be yourself, but with a discerning eye without burring your heads!

Think for yourself, take stock honestly with yourself, without judgment. Try to see what you really want in fact. Try to think of things you’d like and would not like to do and act accordingly. Why could not you finally achieve your goals? In the street, only three steps separate you from a beautiful girl, even less in a club, on the Internet it’s 2 clicks…

Damn it ! Appropriate your personal history, assume! Start living for you and not for the others… If one takes away your inhibitions, your stress and your bad faith, you would already be able to seduce! I’m sure ! Because a healthy and conscious relationship to oneself is the best guarantor of human relationships more comfortable, more authentic… and therefore more attractive!

Can we become a better self?

The goal is, ultimately, of course to become a better version of yourself. Through personal development, you can do even better than you think being able today! But do not wait to be “perfect” before practicing the game. This would drive to procrastinate. Not good !

Do not measure yourself against your friends and stars. The comparison leads to resentment. The comparison leads to the criticism of others. The comparison is an unhealthy thing. You must think about your true aspirations and work in this direction, regardless of the eyes of others.

Surely you are not going to become anyone else but you can highlight certain qualities. Certainly, you are surely a good guy yet but you can probably improve some things. Surely you are aware of your flaws but do not underrate yourself (and learn how to market yourself)!

Some people will like you and some not. Accept it and that’s it. Learn how to do not judge others too and how to open your mind… to live more serenely. Wanting love and respect from everyone is a pointless exercise (it’s like always running after perfection). That would just impede your personal development and your level confidence would plummet.

Good luck, everybody! Feel free to like and share if you enjoyed my work!

 

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Why do women like jerks/assholes ?

Why do women like jerksassholes

If you believe what you read in women’s magazines: women want a good guy who is a little inaccessible, who is a challenge, who is never really acquired, who does not harass by texts (this is understandable) and who is never too nice to them. This is a somewhat an ambiguous query.

Which leads me to a question I was often asked which is “why do women like jerks?” We will treat here the angle: why are women attracted to guys that correspond the least to what they claim they want? What a question as hardcore as a badly shaved pussy !

Definition of “connard” (asshole or jerk in French) : insult denoting someone who behaves in an inappropriate or unpleasant way, because of a lack of intelligence, good manners or scruples.

Other prerequisites: women, if asked, will often say they are seeking a nice guy, gallant, respectful. And to push the plate, they will probably complain about falling only on jerks.

First possible explanation : the asshole excites the alpha male radar of woman who thinks detecting one. Basically, the bastards have features in common with pure alpha males (eg the fact that they spank their ass during doggy style).

Are some women so stupid that they confuse arrogance with confidence, narcissism with vanity, money with success/charisma? Apparently !

And the reason why they hide their true research would be:
– Refering women on false trails so they do not care about these guys (misleading competition);
– Testing the guys so that only those who have experience with women do not buy their shit.

Explanation number 2: they like dominant men… and by accepting a man to be bastard with them, they make him even more dominant. Women so self-reassure about the choice of their partner.

Explanation number 3: by taking the role of the male breadwinner, the State would have altered the constraints of choices of women and favored men who invest the least in a relationship since the society takes it over.

Explanation number 4: they are bitches and feather flock together. No, just kidding, but it would be for the sick pleasure of complaining during evening with their friends.

Explanation number 5 : they have the secret hope to make him change. Or they think that he is sad and they want to care for him (it could awake their “nurses” instinct).

It is perhaps a bit of all at a time, the different theories are not necessarily excluding.

I advise you to be neither too sweet nor an asshole. If you think the girls are white doves like angels fallen of heaven, that you must venerate, respect them too much and say yes to everything they ask… then you’ll be entirely eaten !

The bad boys can represent the forbidden, rebellion, daring. Now all what is forbidden excites (women too). In addition, they can say that they will be less judged by the bad guys as this will have done worse than them and worse than what they want to do with them!

Nevertheless, it is useless to want to become an asshole for having more sex. It is even a quality to do not be one. And there is no need to be a bastard to do exciting things and to do not judge.

Guys who starts in the game and who lose girls because of assholes would benefit from being a little less wise, a little more fun, a little less shy. It would also certainly be good to have a bit more nerves with girls, to dare more…

Keep your ethics (respect women) but remember that the gender relationships are a competition. We are not in a Hollywood comedy with a happy ending: the fate will not always give you a hand just because you’re a good guy. This is btw often not the nicest nor the most asshole that ends with the girl !!!

The game is here to allow you to be an alpha but not an asshole!

PS: This is also the job of women to do not confuse alpha male with asshole otherwise their only option would be to make out with pussies.

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The power of implicit acceptation

The power of implicit acceptationThe goal:

For the unconscious, the failure to challenge something is equivalent to the fact of accepting it. Thanks to the extremely simple technique of the no contest, you’ll be able to establish good frames (underlying meaning of things in your interactions). Girls will thus validate you despite themselves!

 

The realization:

There are two main ways to do this:
– The excuse: it is for example when using humor to say a sentence that would not be accepted without;
– Withdrawal: by canceling the BPD element immediately we avoid it is challenged… but the brain of the target will imagine it all the same.

If that sounds complicated, wait for the examples.

 

The examples :

1/ “We could go home, I could mass you to relax you”

If the girl is enthusiastic, go straight to the FC. On the other hand, if it looks like she wants to resist: withdraw your proposal.

“Oh no wait, because you look very tense, I do not think I have enough massage oil.”

The girl had not enough time to challenge it, but her imagination will be sought and the idea will make way into her mind. She will now not see you in the same way, she will see you as someone more sexual.

 

2/ “You’ll be my new girlfriend if you keep smiling like that…”

Here, because there is no direct invitation, you can use the push and pull. It’s free but it will increase your value.

“Oh no, but you love Tarantino’s movies, sorry, we’ll have to break up.”

Thus: she had no time to challenge the fact she will be your girlfriend, and in addition, you establish the frame that you choose.

You communicate a lot implicitly by doing that.

 

3 / “Phew, my sex is too tough, I’m sick of seeing the girls I fuck fainted with pleasure because they have no strength anymore after 50 orgasms.”

Here is an example of excuse : you use humor for the message to be listened and not sounding ridiculous (otherwise it would be bragging).

And then you will cancel the phrase “hey don’t be shocked, I was just kidding” or “hey smile, do play the tight-ass!” Nevertheless, the idea will grew in her unconscious and she has imagined you as a good lover yet.

 

4 / “Hey, stop staring at my ass! You want to take pictures, right? I assign the broadcasting rights for 500 € per month if you want.”

By accusing the girl of having a dirty mind, you make her think about these things: you actually puts her dirty thoughts in mind! You lead her to the her dark side… that’s the strength of this kind of jokes.

Finally, remember that you need to do that by being more or less subtle (don’t look like a big asshole) and by saying things in a credible way. I mean that you cannot possibly tease or play the sex god with a trembling voice, while looking at your feet or by being too vulgar…

Good luck !