Flirt, sexual humour and ready-for-use lines

The humor is another characteristic (like the body language) that you can acquire before totally having the good state of mind. Well, you know it, seduction is a game: thus we are going to have fun!

 

The sexual humour :

I think that the objective of any interaction man/woman is to psychologically rape the position. So, the idea is to do as if SHE tried to pick you up! From now, use the humor as a weapon to invert the roles, then I will teach you later even more powerful techniques to get what you want. In the meantime, you dare and you have fun!!! Do not lose sight that it is a game!

Being a pain in the neck or an agitator is effective because she will not know if you are serious… and it is exactly this uncertainty which is going to turn her on. Being a “funny and sexual guy”, IE using the sexual humor, show that you do not need to please her by your words because you are desirable for what you deeply are. But don’t be mean at her for nothing. What happens implicitly must not be explicitly mentioned. Be “cool” !

Not talking about sex or avoiding the subject will let her think that you are afraid of this subject and thus that you will not be up to her expectations during the act. Also show that the contact does not make you feel uncomfortable. Be open! You are confident!

In other words, You are TEASING but you are not MEAN. You are sexual but you are not VULGAR and you are FUN but you are not a KID (you avoid speaking about wee-wee, poo, fart). Avoid THE BLACK OR NASTY HUMOR as long as you did not establish a real complicity because until that moment you do not really know how she is going to react. You can also be a LITTLE BIT CYNICAL guy, just like Doctor House.

 

The flirtation :

To flirt, it is to light the fire and to keep it alive… And it is your responsibility because the woman is conditioned, at least in our countries, to don’t start flirting before you.

In this way, you can :
– make fun of something ;
– say that you are not sure that the “relationship” can work (before any relationship) ;
– complaining excessively;
– acting like if you could take her or leave her (and in fact you can);
– tell her that she is a good friend or like a great sister (just a friend);
– tease her, annoy her ;
– be sarcastic;
– be too serious with regard to given a situation (create a gap) ;
– cross the acceptable social limits of the physical space, by being a player;
– interpret her sexual allusions : dare, enjoy yourself!

Maintain then the fire, for example by pulling away and by annoying her. Alternate the signals of interest and indifference. Make her live feelings thanks to your humor, dare things and especially, enjoy yourself… It is the main part ! Persons who can inspire you:
– Chuck Bass uses a sexual humor women often like ;
– Damon Salvatore proposes an interesting humor of confident male.
Because it is some TV shows, it is good, because there are more situations and quotes than in a movie.

Be original, use:
– Dry wit;
– Stoicism;
– Indifference ;
– Seriousness;
– Mystery ;
– Tension ;
– Provocation;
– Confidence and ease.
Stand firm, be arrogant and funny: you are part of the best men, and you know it.

It is YOU who provoke things. Be in a quiet and serene emotional state and the others will follow you. Beat her at her own game there: don’t be impressed by her qualities (even if it means bluffing) and give her funny nicknames.

Do not forget that you can go away at any moment because you master the game and because as an alpha, you have other numerous sexual options. So, she will not easily have the sensation that you can be tamed, acquired, possessed…

RULE: YOU HAVE FUN DURING AN INTERACTION.

If you do something that she likes, use the technique on/off/yes/no because the tension and the anticipation amplify the attraction. Indeed, the attraction develops in the imagination during the absence.

She has to try to amuse you: accuse her of making allusions or laugh at her small errors. Why not making fun of her… but always in a kind way ! Do not answer seriously her questions/tests so that she cannot have certainties about you. Always make underlying humor so that she wonders about your intentions. Think of a politically incorrect comment and make it funny. Be destabilizing but not a fucking asshole who lets stream off. Show a little too much confidence but make the other laugh. Do not stop if she says that she is upset but do not go too far. With experience, you will quickly learn to announce things!

RULE: YOU SHOW SOME CONFIDENCE, YOU ASSUME THE FACT THAT SHE LIKES YOU AND OF SPEAKING TO HER ABOUT SEX.

In fact, the women like that we play with their feelings (all their feelings). The humor is then one of the best ways to do so. If she has to go to the bathroom, tell her that she has your authorization. If she is lost in her thoughts, ask her if she thinking about you AGAIN. If she answers without developing (in a single word for example) “this is a very interesting answer”.

You understood that teasing a woman (being a player and dominant) informs that you are not boring unlinke the other dudes. Thus avoid giving to the girls direct positive answers. Surprise her! She has to say to herself that you are different. In fact, the women have no logic until proved otherwise (Sigmund Freud). The conclusion is : if you act in a logical way (or at least in a way which seems logical to YOU), she will drive you crazy by reacting in an insane way. On the other hand, if you act in an insane way, she will be more likely to act in a logical way. You have to know that, often, from the joke comes the light thus study with what people joke and you will learn a lot about what they really think.

Be inflexible and thus the first one to close a conversation. If she has no sense of humor: continue and explain every time. If she sets face: accuse her of not being funny. After all, there are always girls without humor, killjoys, etc.. Those are, generally, very bad in the bed. You will so make more quickly the sorting. Then there are also people who have such a moronic life that it pisses them off to meet somebody who appears to them feeling well in his skin, confident, etc. Those will try to pull you downward, to put you in their level.

If you meet a girl divested of humor, say “I’m kidding” or “I’m just teasing you”. Laugh when she is offended. Because the girls like playing the offended when we annoy them, you have to announce things to do not appear looking for approval there. Make breaks between the sentences or before a keyword to create suspense and contradict her from time to time but not on too sensitive subjects. When a girl secretly try to seduce you, play the “hard to get”. Amaze her, show her that she wants you, push her away. Don’t be too sarcastic either, that would push them away for good. Be a funny guy who conveys positive feelings. From a feminine point of view, a men with too much emotion and delicacy is synonymic of weakness… think about our friend James Bond!

“Why this big bag, what are you hiding?”
“You are wearing high heels, were you afraid of not being for my height?”
Make sure you say a funny thing: if she does not smile, it is not good. Buy a book about the humor if necessary. Make funny comments with an innocent face. Do not answer seriously her questions, but make her dream :
“What do you do for a living ?
– I am a model for Calvin Klein”.

– Interrogate her about your look “With or without glasses?”
– Imitate her.
– Role playing.
– Contradict her.
– Speak about taboos. “Tonight, I am going to corrupt you”.

If she criticize you, say “thank you” or “OK, and then?”. Roughly, you control everything and remain unmoved in front of her tests.

Interpret badly what she says or look for doubtful insinuations there. Avoid having a good laugh or smiling to your own lines. Do things and accuse her of doing them. To flirt, it is to send mixed messages. If she takes your hand, say “oh really, already?!” or “I love the girls who take the initiatives”.

They like when you are serious and when you go on with a joke, when you are hard verbally and soft physically. Kiss her then bite her, a soft thing alternated with a violent thing. Give her a slap on her buttocks then say “bravo : you are a good kisser”. Be unpredictable… but not unstable as a madman. You got it now !

Ah btw, a girl who plays the child or who takes advantage of a game to excite you “innocently”, it is almost won. The only thing to do then is daring!

 

To better understand the concept, some ready for use quotes :

(She didn’t answer you text) Are you already playing the inaccessible girl? Talk to me.

(Gainsbourg with a model) It is the bra, I do not know how to draw it. Maybe you could take it off ?
(Still with the model) Lucien, kiss me on the mouth… with the tongue…
– Hmm OK, if you insist, then you pose, I don’t want to pay you for nothing!
(Gainsbourg) Corrupting the youth, I like it.
(To Jane Birken) Do you really think it is a little rosbeef like you who will teach me elegance?
(To Bambou) You correspond to my esthetic criteria.
(To Bambou) On the horizontal plan, nobody has ever had to complain about my services.

(To a girl who asks a question which we can interpret in an ambiguous way) So you’re making an advance or a proposal?

(She accuses you of lying) You know, I said many things, then I do not remember any more.

(Compliment her with a margin of improvement to motivate her) Beautiful legs, perfect buttocks, I give you my the highest note … 9/10!

(She too much looks for compliments) Be careful, love, if you are fishing compliments there, you risk to get wet.

(She tries to pick you up) I am wrong or there is a light smell of flirtation in the air?

(To date her) If are you interested, we can meet again? In any case, I am not against this idea.

(She asks “how are you?”) Very good, like always (except a cold.)

(Leaving each other) Cordial handshake or soft kiss?

(“Cigarette?”) I don’t smoke, I do sport.

(She proposes a date to see you again) I will find a way.

(She tries to excite you) Then, to what extent you are conscious of your effect on males?

What makes you think that I’m gonna try to pick you up?

It is too soon to say if I like you.

I like when you drink, that makes you seductive. And confident.

I want to have a drink with you! To begin with…

“Here is my number, but don’t take advantage of it to harass me” or “use it well”.

(She) When will you forgive me?
– Maybe later when I will be very very old.

(If you have to stay with a girl into the same room) Do you think you are going to be able to refrain from touching me?

(She makes a compliment) Seriously… you say I am “cute everything” ?! You will have to find better than that!

(Put the pressure on her) The only thing that I want is kissing you. And not here (mouth) rather here (cunnilingus).

(A girl says you are a pervert) Wooo, I like it when you talk dirty.

(“Thank you”) If you’re looking for a way to thank me I have a couple of ideas.

(She tries to turn you on, it is necessary to encourage her) You, you have a talent.

(Game) I suggest a bet, if he calls : I leave you alone for good… if he does not call: you spend the night with me. Are you a player ?

Elle : Do you like me?
Lui : Precise “like”.

(I know you want me) You say it like if it was a bad thing…

(To the swimming pool) A 0-piece swimsuit would much more suit you!

(“What do we do?”) Let’s take our clothes off, stare at each other!

(She waited) If you thought that it was long, then you have no idea what I can do.

You have my word, for what it is worth.

(You make an indecent proposal) It is exactly… what you think it is !

(She says the weather is hot) Oh, it is never too hot.

(She says she is angry) I will find a way to be forgiven.

(Text message by night) Kisses, good night, but don’t make a habit, I’m not kind like that all the time.

(She says you’re short) I don’t care, I already made out with girls taller than me… and than you… several times!

(Send her a text in the morning) Wake up, marmot !

We are going to perform a magic trick, I am going to try to guess what you are thinking about………………………. Oh, you know if you want to see me naked, all what you have to do is ask ! ;)

I am an easy boy.

(She compliments you) Oh, you want me to turn red ? Bitchy !

Well, you have to adapt it to your style!

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