I watched Ted 2 this weekend. At a given moment in the movie, John tried to pick up a redhead nurse in a sperm donation clinic (as class as picking up in a AIDS detection center): he asked her out, and she answered “no I have a boyfriend”. And he replied “too bad, you’ve missed a nice guy.” It made me want to write an article about rejection.
How to handle rejection? How to react to rakes? And for who is it “too bad” in the end? Him or her ?
If ever you want to call it rejection. We can also use the word “refusal”. This is less negative. For me a rake it is when a girl I want to fuck doesn’t want me, not when an unknown I do not know does not want to fuck me. It makes no sense to take it personally.
There are several types of reactions :
A. The guy takes a rake and is broken. It doesn’t approach anymore for weeks and cry over his fate. Women have power over him. They have broken him.
B. The guy takes a rake and go on the next one without being affected. He said nothing, he ignored it and turns away. The girl then realizes that she is not that important.
C. The guy takes a rake and says something to have the last word and then leaves. So the girl knows what she misses. It shows a certain level of confidence. But, some stupid girls will think “who does he think he is, this one is a braggart.” But well…
D. The guy takes a rake and nailed the beak to the girl. He explains her what she missed and why she doesn’t deserve him. It can be funny to see their faces decompose during the argument but hey, it’s a waste of time. Few, very few are those who will change their minds. They will rather steer.
E. The guy takes a rake and cannot handle it. He became aggressive with the girl. It is intolerable because when you play, you have to accept you can lose. Because if we cannot lose, each victory is an illusion (like at the carnival).
From a profitability perspective, the reaction B is the best one, I guess. But it’s not realistic to think you can always nervously stick out like this: sometimes it feels good to vent. Especially when they are nasty with us but we have done nothing else than approaching them. Reactions C and D may be justified in some cases, but I do not think they help a lot in practice.
The reactions A and E are prohibited. A minimum of inner game is requested please!
Be aware that, sometimes, direct rejection are just a test. We must therefore learn to differentiate a “no” from a shit-test! For this, there is the reaction F: humility…
Below, a part of what I wrote about rejections in The (Inconvenient) Truth about Gender Relations (click to read the full text):
You can do exactly the same thing on two girls, one will find you sexy, the other will find you repulsive. Which one is right? None.
Afraid of what ?
You will try to be sensual and will, of course, sometimes be rejected. For example, you will maintain eye contact with a woman who will give you back just a look in response making you understand that she finds you disgusting. Then she will turn and will not deal with you anymore. Ouch, that hurts. But there is nothing to fear. This is not so different from a verbal rejection. It is even rather better, in fact. More direct! And keep in mind, that one day or the other she probably fucked a less handsome guy than you …
I like the quirkiness. I like to put pressure on girls. To see women blushing or becoming nervous amuses me. I know you are afraid of being labeled as a “weird guy” and that’s why you do not dare to move faster physically. So you stay in a friendly mode and waste your time.
Guys have to overcome that fear. Starting conversations with strangers, this is not “weird”, being tactile and sensual is not “disgusting” and pushing things sexually doesn’t directly makes you a “perverse”. All this are just beliefs …
If you are sociable and you start conversations, women will test you by saying that it is strange to do that. Or they will give this stupid skeptical look we all know. All the other guys do not have enough balls to approach women, but it is not weird that… Phew. And they want us to believe that it’s better to stay wise … but where is the world going?
When you are sensual, women try to make you feel “dirty”.
When you are sexually aggressive women test you by saying that you are evil (as if it was a bad thing…) Most guys are afraid of the label “perverse” because it refers to the image of an old man who masturbates in a sex shop.
But it’s not that at all, and you want to be “perverse” because you do not want to be asexual. Do not let social pressure having so much power over you that it has on these people stuck in their conditioning.
Not getting rejected, that does not mean you’re good
Most guys think they were good because they were not reject … at least, not yet. This is actually a bad thing. And they are not really good. Being rejected early in the night should be your goal. Before the first rejection, you will be tense and shy. After, you will be free and ready to perform feats.
When I’m snub for the first time of the night, it annoys me. It drives me crazy. Anger rises in me … but this is not an anger against women. Hate is there because I just realized that releases and critics are a big joke, and I cannot believe that I was scared and it stopped me from doing what I wanted in life until today…
After realizing this, nothing can stop me. Basically, I need the first rake to put me on track and have a fun night (and we do not make an omelet without breaking eggs; there will always be waste).
A woman is laughing at you? Makes fun of how she rejected you ? That’s funny. That’s what you were afraid of? Yet it is nothing … You will know you have improved when you can laugh at rakes and that you can even shut up the mouths of babes who respond badly. Remember that for some, going out and playing the bitch, well it’s funny. The best solution is to laugh in their face “thank you, it was really funny.”
People who get angry easily and make scandals are trying to manipulate you emotionally. They want to intimidate you. I’m sure you know people like that. The best strategy is to take the wrong way. They want you to perceive them as important; you see them just as entertainment. In addition, this casual attitude seems to piss them off. When girls understand they are not so important for you (individually speaking, at least), it drives them crazy. Then, each responds differently (some are less stupid than others).
Some are even worse after being rejected. I’m ten times better. I know myself. I need to be rejected to feel free. Loose. That’s why I quickly need social rejection and physical rejection before being awesome.
I have a friend who does not approach women. He’s handsome and cool but he hopes that women come to him like mosquitoes attracted to light. Thus, if they approach him, they have done all the work and are hopelessly attracted to him because have invested a lot. It’s bogged him down in long relationships where he is the prize.
The only problem is that it is too passive. He can stay a long time without meeting anyone even by going out twice a week. It may take months before he finds a new girlfriend.
The other guys are the opposite. They approach everything that moves anyhow hoping for a positive answer. Even if they have to suffer violent rejections and talk for hours to women without interest, they stay. This attitude fucks up you confidence in the long term and you can catch the phobia of starting conversations.
The compromise is to quickly select women but only invest time in those excited that you contacted them. Those who smile, laugh and feed the conversation. If you do not get a positive response right away, leave. This is not an excuse to do anyhow, discuss the best way possible, stack the odds in your favor but you invest only for those who understand how lucky they are that you approached them.
One way to avoid scandals, preserve your confidence and maximize your results socializing is to limit the time spent with foolish and wicked stupid bitches. Do not spend with them a second longer than they deserve. You can only do this if you allow yourself to leave the conversation on a bad note.
We don’t give a shit, but with class
This means you do not look for the perfect exit. You can go away in the simplest way. Even if it looks strange. Just as you came, you leave.
I think most guys do not approach enough women because they think that once the conversation is started, they must stay and make sure that it works with the girl. They feel trapped.
It is sure that if you see things like that and suffer the pickup more than you live it, approaching can quickly become a hassle.
You start a conversation with a sexy woman on the right. She’s cute, but sarcastic and not at all playful. She makes fun of your pink shirt. Then she contradicts you on a bunch of silly topics. You clearly do not like her personality so why staying with her? Turn heels and ignore her, she will not understand what happened. These girls were not enough rejected by guys in their lives. Or have been too much rejected and take revenge. In any cases, they have a problem to do so … We can even say that they overcompensate! Their nasty attitude refers to their own problems.
If someone must be under pressure, do you prefer it is you or the others?
When you go out, and you behave in a sociable way, you do not need to try to save face. You do not try to have the last word. You don’t care about leaving on a good note.
And better yet, if you’re not afraid of weirdness, you do not even need to go away, let people get bored and leave… and take their place.
If the girl you’re talking to is a bitch, or if the interaction does not appear well enough started to be productive, leave without further ado. Have some character, fuck!
Most guys are afraid to push the envelope too far because they are happy with just small successes. They want to rethink the interaction and keep a good taste in the mouth.
“A handjob would make me very happy but I’m too afraid of being hurt in my ego if I ask you, and you say no.”
You know very well my views. Make her say no. Press her like a lemon. My credo “Suck me or insult me, but do not stay in inaction.” The problem is that you are most of the time not actually looking for being sucked nor insulted. It suits you to be there, to smile and watch her laugh listening to your jokes. It makes you feel good. You want to go head high so you do not push the thing up.
It’s enjoyable to hang out with a girl and smile blissfully. Most gus merely that. They prefer the sweet, platonic relation with a woman to a rapid physical escalation because it runs the risk of brutally breaking the interaction.
The same can occur when you caress each other’s hand. The caress of the hands is so enjoyable that you forget to push things more sexually. But the problem is that this feeling of well-being does not last. And it does not last because she will break up with you as soon as she met a guy with whom she has a sexual connection. Now, is what the point? Talking to her for 10 hours or penetrating her for 30 minutes?
The illusion you can fuck them all
A guy strikes up a conversation with a cute girl in the street. They walk together to a small bar. They exchange names and flirt a little. It goes well. He would ask her out : to go for coffee but he freakes out then does nothing. Later in the day he self-flagellates and wonders what she would have said if he had invited her out. Fuck. The bitch was very hot. However, despite his regrets, he is still happy, he draws some form of satisfaction. The memory of that interaction will remain nice: he dealt with her successfully in the street and made a pretty girl smile… Good.
The truth is that he did not seek for more because he was afraid that the interaction ends badly. He did not want his last memory to be a deplorable rejection.
“Let’s have a coffee.
– Sorry I have to go somewhere to do something with someone. Bye.”
Now he sees things differently. He has been rejected. The interaction was a failure from the beginning but he did not get it (it is better to know right away, no?)
Passive interactions often end as follows: she ignores you or your texts or stand you up. Or you had a strong connection but because you have never pushed things sexually you’re now mired in a very strange relationship. Sometimes you feel the urge to ignore her or tell her you do not want to fuck her. This is called FRUSTRATION.
Guys want it to end well, having a little story to tell their friends “how I got the number of a bitch in the street or simply flirted with but it’s still good.” It’s just a matter of ego. They do not escalade physically because they are not sure it will be fine.
The light is red
I see guys approached and being outraged when they get a reaction type “red light”. I see guys be ready to end the interaction when it starts softly with a shy girl and fall in love with a girl who just tries to be polite in answering briefly in a detached way.
Some will probably treat you like crap. We don’t care, it’s totally NORMAL. If all the girls were smart, we would know it, and the world would be a better place (this judgment also applies to the guys). Being rejected is expected and even hoped … It’s the routine … If this does not happen it means that you do not do things properly. Nobody pleases everyone, and if that was the case, well it would not even be fun to game (= practicing the game of seduction).
Understand that you will feel anxiety whatever her reaction is. Even if it works like clockwork, you feel tension because she likes you. If it takes softly, then you feel that tension called “social anxiety”. If she ignores you or tells you something nasty, you’ll probably be upset. Whatever her reaction in fact, approaching will make you experience strong emotions.
- Red: she ignores you or rejects you through body language … without a word;
2. Red: she reacts aggressively or in a very haughty way.
If you get rejected by her body language, it does not give you a lot of material to work and improve. The only thing you can do in this case is to smile and laugh with / of her. Remember that women are funny. Any verbal rejections is a trap to get you to break the report. Take the opposite way by being humble.
– Most girls are not really bitches.
– call me WHORE and leave.
– Laugh with her. Women are funny. Especially when they want to reject guys. Be genuine “I wanted to meet you.” Give her a second chance to be cool. Otherwise “it was a pleasure to meet you” and go to the next.
Sociability vs Sexuality
You have crossed the stage of social, now you can do what you want. Have fun. Try new things. Be rejected. The social part has nothing to do with your seduction potential.
This is not an excuse to act like a clown or a weirdo but do not take the “sociability” part too seriously. You would become paralyzed with fear.
This will be quite counter-intuitive to discover what works and what does not. As if the success with women was random. I’m taking about techniques (the craziest can work) and results. For example, you can have a super hottie in your bed the day before and getting rejected by a fat ugly woman today. It’s a joke. Seduction and even more pickup are big jokes.
Life is an absolute joke…
I award for the night pick up… the medal of the biggest joke in the world. As if the girls did their best to make us have the most difficult task ever… But then, why do they do surgery, why do they wear makeup and all this stuff? To have sex, obviously.
This requires more confidence to approach them in person than on the Internet. However, the same guy they send to hell in the bar in front of their girlfriends, they could agree to meet him from the Internet just because he would have sent a cocky message.
It does not make sense. I think all the women do not give us bonus points for having the nerve to approach them. They do not realize… This is why we must not take the night pickup too seriously. There are too many stupid women who do not understand anything to life.
At night, the defenses are activated: the women go as far as claiming that they do not want to fuck. All the cockblocks and amogs are out, ready to intervene at the fateful moment. It’s hilarious. A Belgian joke. If you take seriously a nocturnal rejection then you are a fool. In the long term, you would become mad. Accept that it’s just a comedy.
Some marketing managers reward salespeople for every NO obtained. Knowing that each NO moves you closer to a YES, it’s understandable. For us, seducers, it’s the same…
We all know that perseverance is an important part of the seduction game. But in my head, all perseverance is not always worth it. Your stress level should be linked to what you will potentially get back.
For example, I will not be too persistent if a band I have just met rejects me. I could make fun of the a girl who answer like a bitch or I could give a second chance to be part of the conversation to a nice cute girl. But I will not do it for too long because I have nothing much to gain.
Oh yeah, for all this work, my only reward would be that she talks to me. I don’t care, seriously.