Whether it’s for dating a girl in a nightclub, dating a stranger in the street, dating in the university, dating at the gym, by text, dating on social networks, dating your neighbor or even dating a girl who has a boyfriend… there are rules. Yes, there are things you should do and others you shouldn’t.
Obviously, I can not explain in a single article all that you need to know about female psychology and interpersonal communication, but I will talk about what seems to me inevitable for a good pick up.
This seems to be a job of general interest because most of the tips to seduce that one can easily find on the Internet are, in the best case, funny … and in the worst, dangerous!
So here are 20 tips to properly pick up a girl. I will also give you in this article some tracks, if you want to go further…
1/ The girl is interested
When you go to the field to pick up, assume that women might be interested in you to the point of taking your number, making an instant date with you or even to the point of sleeping with you quickly.
With such a state of mind, you will optimize your chances because you will probably have a more confident attitude (and therefore you’ll be more exciting for a woman).
You’re a winner, don’t forget the condoms !
2/ Validation
To put all the odds on your side when you are picking a woman up, you absolutely must not leave with the concern to seek her validation. You must not seek to please he at all costs. You are not a sex-starved guy who needs affection at all costs!
Worse, behaving like her subordinate and licking her ass would not be sexy. Do not laugh, many men think that to sleep with a woman, they must treat her like a princess.
Put it right in your head: you do not try to get anything from her (her pussy) because it is a mutual exchange of pleasure… or even, the beginning of a love story FOR BOTH.
When you pick a woman up, you simply give her a chance to make a (small) end of the way with you!
3/ The smile
Smiling (a bit, eh, not like a psychopath nor a happy imbecile) communicates and transmits positive emotions. And since emotions are contagious, it’s much better to approach with the smile than like if your cat had just died.
The thing to understand is that you must at all costs reassure the girl on your “normality” and that smiling is a good way to make her feel at ease.
4/ The eye contact
Look at the girl in the eyes when you talk, maintain the eye contact to connect to her. But look from time to time elsewhere so as not to be thought of as a weird guy. What you need to remember here is not to have a fleeting glance.
5/ Pay attention to your body language
In general, pay attention to your body language. But there would be too much to say then I suggest you to read my book on the subject.
6/ Do not approach in order to become her friend
I’ve even seen some coaches advising to say “let’s have a drink as friends” to get the number of a girl… with, of course, the intend to seduce her AFTER. But it’s a very bad idea!
I advise you rather to let her guess your intentions because, once fallen in the friendzone, it would be difficult to leave it. The girl must absolutely see in you a potential lover… and if she does not accept this condition, you should quickly next her because others would accept it.
Remember that you must be ready to lose a girl in order to win her without too many headaches. And that, to be a good pick up artist, you have to assume your sexuality.
7/ Take initiatives
It is extremely rare for a girl to take your number, even after a nice conversation. As a result, you must be psychologically ready to make proposals and take initiatives for the relation to move on.
Sometimes they will be delighted that you do it but just did not dare to talk about it for fear of being thought of as easy girls!
8/ Do not put too much pressure
No PUA leaves with 100% of the numbers of the girls approached with cold approaches. So do not put yourself under pressure and do not feel obliged to do too much to seduce chicks.
Forget the idea that a perfect approach surely seduces a girl and that if it does not work it’s because you have made a mistake. The truth is that the worst approach of the world can work and that the best can end in rejection.
There is no catch phrase that 100% works, then use a contextual opener (on its outfit) or practice the direct game. If you don’t know what to say to a woman, check my ebook 1000 sexy alpha funny lines.
9/ Do not try to be perfect
We often imagine that if we were perfect, all women would want us and it would be easy to get laid. But the truth is that a perfect pick up will not let your charm appear. A live concert has more charm than a recording on CD despite the imperfections, is not it? In seduction, it is the same.
Moreover, the perfect man would intimidate the women (IRL not in a movie) and most would not deserve him…
10/ Show your personality
When talking with women, you should not always agree with them. If you find a point of disagreement about something that is not very important (in a seductive context, you should not talk about religion, politics or anything like that), hold your positions and explain your point of view .
You will show that you are not her doggie, that you are not there to lick her sneakers, unlike most guys without balls who would be willing to say /do/pay anything in the hope to have sex one day. Respect yourself and women will respect you more!
11/ Tease
Tease a woman to tell her you are not afraid of her and to prevent boredom from settling into conversation. Moreover, if she laughs with you (complicity) she will have more chances to sleep with you.
Be careful not to make strange remarks because if the woman laughs at you (contempt or embarrassment), it’ll be difficult to go further.
12/ Calm down
Most men speak quickly and move in all directions when they talk with a woman they want to seduce. Some love coaches advise to have a high energy level when approaching but I think this is a bad idea.
Let me explain: sex is better when you are comfortable… so, to consider it, it is necessary that both people are comfortable. So do not stress women by going at full speed.
13/ Not a job interview
Most guys who pick up ask bad questions by believing themselves to be very clever. But it is extremely cumbersome for a girl to answer the same predictable questions “Where are you coming from?”, “What do you do for a living ?”, “how old are you ?”, & C.
Instead, make her talk about her and what she loves… then focus the conversation on sex. Attention, do not boast… but do not act like a tight-ass either when talking about sex!
14/ You must stay the price
The girl must understand that you are a man who has the choice, that you do not put everything on her: you are a man who has a high value so she is not the only one who would respond positively to your seduction.
Stress the fact that something unique has made you want to come and talk to her and be interested in her.
15/ You know what you want
You must communicate that you are a cool and accommodating man but who knows what he wants. You are not a poor frustrated guy who does not assume and who doubts all the time.
You are not either a loser that does not dare to take action and that always does things half.
16/ Too nice, too stupid
Do not start paying drinks to girls you hardly know and who do not make much effort for you. Do not be the willing victim of bitches who have no desire to sleep with you but want you to pay them stuff…
17/ Persistence
You have to know how to differentiate a rejection from an objection. It is necessary to persist in case of objection (it can be a test of virility or she just don’t want to be thought of as an easy girl) but to give up in case of pure and simple rejection. The key to reacting well in case of rejection is not to show yourself affected.
18/ Respect the decision of the woman
Generally speaking, do not ask for permission before trying something… but stop without discussing if she refuses your seduction. Do not follow her in the street !!! You must not be charged with sexual harassment…
Never insult a woman who does not want you. You do not know what is the real reason for her refusal and I am sure she has lost more than you… so wish her a good day (or a good evening) and bye bye!
19/ No one-itis
Do not start making a love obsession about a girl who just kissed you in a club or who just gave you her number… It would be a serious beginner mistake that could make you very unhappy (false hope).
20/ Learn how to play with sexual tension
You must learn to feel and play with sexual tension. In addition, you must have some sense of timing so as not to miss the seductive shooting windows (usually I advise you to go rather too fast than too slowly).
The trick is that some girls will want to sleep with you one night but if you miss your chance by playing the fucking romantic dude, will go with another dude and forget you forever.
If you want to learn how to control sexual tension, I recommend my book The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations.
If you want more tips to get started in the world of pick up, I advise you The basics of seduction.