This is the kind of question I have to deal with even if I do not agree with the implicit starting assumption. Indeed, why should one at all costs SAY to a girl that he is LOVE with her ? Well, we’ll talk about that later…
Anyway, the best way to declare your love to a woman is certainly not the one you think… so read this article to the end at the risk of living quite a lot of violent disillusions!
1st case: you are sure you love her but you never made out with her
“How can I confess my feelings? ” If you think like this way, already, you’re wrong. Indeed, this sentence communicates that having feelings is a burden that must be hidden or got rid of at all costs. Considering romantic relationships like this might not take you very far.
Think a little : “I fulfill my DECLARATION of taxes, I ADMIT that it is me who broke the vase of the drawing-room, I CONFESS to the priest that I have already stolen some donuts in a store.” But passion speaks a completely different language and refuses ABSOLUTELY to be associated with a faulty behavior (it is already too often the case in our shitty society).
In our crappy cultures, we like to confess, whether in church or to a shrink. Because one can not confess without a third part who will decide between punishing or consoling, etc. The one with whom one confesses has an enormous power over him and at the same time one frees oneself from a weight, a part of responsibility, a secret. DO YOU UNDERGROUND THE PRESSURE THAT YOU CAN PUT THE GIRL UNDER?
Ultimately, going to a girl and telling her “I love you, do you want to make out with me?” can work 1 time out of 100 in high school or college, in the playground or in bad romantic comedies that only sell dreams to the basic idiots. But it works very rarely BECAUSE:
1) Someone who is uncomfortable with his own desires and sexuality to the point of confessing them as mistakes is not attractive.
2) The relation of judgment and the handing over of power to the hands of the other is the opposite of the fusional relationship that makes the basic chick dreams.
3) Girls want a game set, they want to be seduced before they are asked to answer “yes” or “no”.
Yeah, I understand, confession is often a cry of the heart, an expression of despair, a kind of ultimatum: we feel stuck, we do not know what to do… but, it is not attractive.
For many people who know nothing about love or relationships, the declaration of love is nevertheless a necessary passage to kiss or sleep with a girl. But this is completely wrong and is even often counterproductive.
The first thing to realize is that landing and saying to someone “hello, can I talk to you ? I love you”, well, it’s shit. Yeah, you secretly hope she’ll answer you “I love you too. Let’s make love.” BUT DON’T HOPE TOO MUCH!
This is actually the best way to be rejected violently. If you take the girl off guard and you are not especially a popular handsome boy of the chest… the chick is probably not in the same state of mind as you (or even do not know you) and is likely to send you to Hell just to get rid of the discomfort you have set up with this way of doing like a dumb guy.
The little sweet words that you pass in class are no better than the statement out of nowhere that we just talked about. But the worst is still the love letter of 18 pages… the writing, when it touches on love, it is a cowardly way of proceeding. Even if, I grant you, the simple fact of doing it requieres a lot of courage, the girl will not respect you for that. It’s unfair, but it’s life! Notice, all life lessons are good to take.
There is a tacit rule in relationships but that will increase your chances of success it’s to indirectly communicate that you are interested in a girl.
Indeed, people emotionally masters create a bond with the people they appreciate and try to make evolve the relationship rather than imposing brutal and unexpected decisions.
To finish, remove at all costs from your mind that there you need to love a girl to kiss or to sleep with her. If she likes you or if you are just at the right time at the right place taking the right initiatives, it’s enough for most. Sorry to break the myth and disappoint the fucking romantic.
2nd case: you are in a couple with her and wish to declare your love for her to make her understand that your relationship is serious
First of all: « Are you really in a couple? » This is the first question to ask. It’s not because you kissed a girl once or you slept with her at the end of a party that you’re a couple… again, I’m sorry to disappoint the pseudo-poets of my balls.
Imagine if for her you are just sexfriend and you start to put pressure on her by declaring your love to a girl who just wanted to have fun, she might say « well, fuck off, he’s going to become a pot of glue if he’s in love… » It can give rise to priceless situations like “I love you.
– Oh shit. Well, then I think it’s better not to see each other anymore.
– Snif, snif!”
Well, if you’re nevertheless sure to be really in a couple with the chick: do tell a woman you love her only when you’re 100/100 sure she thinks the same as you. To try to see more clearly in her state of mind: feel the ground, sound her, and so on.
Ah… and never before knowing her for at least 3 months.