I – How to get out of the friendzone ?
There are many alarmist articles on the Internet that will tell you that it is impossible to get out of the friendzone. Others will tell you that the friendzone is an illusion. Because in fact everything is always possible. Sometimes not right away. Sometimes, of course, not at all.
Are you, in her eyes, a non-lover? If your lovely lady is asking you to serve her, confides in you, is consoled by you, asking you to carry her bags when you go shopping it’s that she sees you as her boyfriend… but WITHOUT the sexual side. I’m not saying that there is no unconsciously romantic aspect to all this, but it’s still completely platonic. It can last a century without ever moving on.
No doubt you have never let her the time nor the opportunity to consider you as a straight man, endowed with libido and potentially interested.
Do not blam her (note that a person feeling guilty would probably send you to Hell, even if that person is wrong – it’s easier). No tears or hangdog look (you’d spoil all your future chances by being pathetic). Do not try to rationally convince her that you’re what’s best for her.
Tell her something like:
“I need to talk to you five minutes, just the two of us… I enjoy our friendship but I want more. I did not premeditated but I like you, I have feelings for you…
– Ah … I do not know what to say. I love you much, but as a friend. I am sorry.
– I understand, I do not blame you. I just had to tell you.”
The goal is not she fucks with you after confession. On the contrary, following this revelation, it is very likely that you will take distance from each other for a while. The aim is to cause her a first awareness: YOU’re not her asexual friend but a potential lover.
Warning: if she reacts badly, gives you unhealthy intentions, projetcs all her paranoia on you… if as soon as you speak to her of love, she accuses you of being a pig, a silly person, a weirdo… flee ! A girl who would react like that suffers from too much trauma to live a healthy romantic relationship.
Get out of her life:
You have every reason not to show yourself for a while. Let her digest the information. “This is a guy who can feel desire in my presence? That’s crazy !” On your side, you’ll reinvent yourself.
Take time to see your friends, your family, to do sports, to go out with other girls, etc. Invest yourself really in the game and you’ll metamorphose!
Have fun. To do not think of her, occupy your mind with lots of positive things, making plans. This phase can last a long while so, have a life, socialize and do not fuck up 6 long months for one single person who does not even want you.
When you’re a new man, continue to be nice to her, but nothing more. Everything in your attitude should suggest that you have turned the page and you see other girls. But do not verbalize it.
Stay mysterious, do not hesitate to say nonchalantly, “I gotta go, I’m in a rush, Lea’s waiting for me. Kisses, see you soon “. Then say a kindly “take care of yourself,” accompanied by a quick kiss on the cheek. If she asks you who is Lea, use a shitty excuse of pressed guy through which your target will imagine what you want her to imagine : “She’s a friend!”
With your target, NO date or anything looking like it in any way. The romantic dinners are over (keep it for when you’ll really be together as a couple), no long walks in the park, no hugs… and invite her when your friends are present.
Your hangs out must be shorter but more exciting, choose a party in a bar full of people over a head-to-head cinema with her. Subtly flirt with other girls under her nose (do not overdo it). Also flirt a tad with her, but let her know that it’s just politeness: “It suits you well, this haircut,” then go back to your conversation with Natacha. Or, come to her party with a pretty friend. The game will be subtle, I never repeat enough, the goal is to make her curious. “And if I was wrong to do not believe in him, to reject him?”
Dress up better :
Take care of your look so you appear less stupid.
Wear a sexy fragrance:
Have you come, gentlemen, for being hypnotized by a feminine scent that evokes the door open to all pleasures? Well for women, it’s the same. Smell is near the center of emotions (think of Proust’s madeleine). Many women admit that if a bad smell can kill any desire in them, a good toilet water evocative of softness and masculinity can work wonders. A friend told me that, in the subway, she sometimes felt guys who had the same perfume as me and that it reminded her of our sex sessions.
Here is a sentence for sexualizing about perfume, “You should stop using this perfume on you. It’s very sexy, and I’m afraid one day I’ll jump on you…”
Control your body language:
If your nervousness in front of the elected of your heart stirred you in every way… Learn to control your emotions and to adopt a more composed and affirmed body language.
Do not hesitate to talk about sex:
Of course, do not go into the details. But there is no question that you are thought of as a monk. If one day in a conversation, one of your friends made a comment about a practice, be worldly enough to don’t look surprised or close-minded. Do not look embarrassed : usually, it won’t be about revealing intimate details of your relationships or your partners.
Be touchy :
This is certainly not about groping her nor taking her hand like a little boy who found his mom after school. When you talk to her, touch her elbow or forearm briefly to emphasize a part of the conversation. Above all, do not pay attention to the fact that you touch… obviously if you sweat profusely, she will lose respect for you. Be serene, you are now a touch-type with women.
It is from this touch, which will increase according to her responsiveness, she will realize your potential. This may take time, but not too much. If the girl is absolutely not receptive, GIVE UP! If she touches you back, if her touch is more intimate, more erotic it means that you are on the good way. Gradually, an occasion of kissing her should appear. Do not miss this opportunity and score ! ;)
If you are young, shy and have never had the opportunity to analyze what happens when a woman wants to kiss : know that it is about a series of microscopic details that stuck together, form a puzzle about the size of an elephant in a china shop. Observe: she sits next to you or is approaching, lets you touch her or touches you, she throws you small eyes, lets you take her hand or takes your hand, she looks at you in the eyes but also toward your lips…
Yes, but why wouldn’t it be up to her to take action? It is a fair consideration. The answer: It IS THE WAY IT IS. So, courage!
If she refuses to kiss, well, too bad. You have already done too much, get up, take your leave. No hard feelings, but you must move on.
If you are successful, congratulations.
II – The friendzone with your ex
You want to get your ex back, the one who has firmly stowed you in her Friendzone? If you want my opinion, this is a bad idea, but…
First, you need to understand, at a moment in her life, she obviously liked you if she was in a relationship with you. It’s already a big advantage you have over the lambda friendzoned. She was (and potentially still is) attracted to you. Then the relationship ended (and it’s more what you should dig: why?) If your friendship is working and that your relationship went wrong, it is a shame: you need to find out what has sealed your relationship and destroy the thoughts that keep her away from you.
You have probably opted for the “friendship” in order to stay close to her… but deep within yourself, it’s a new relationship together you want if you crave this chapter.
Your strategy will not be much different than the normal friendzoned. You will avoid being too sticky, to be at her service, to comfort her too much. You will show you changed, you’re now more attractive, more coveted…
If that’s not enough, know when to give up. All vessels are not made to be glued. That does not necessarily mean that you are not good enough for her. Or that she is not good enough for you. It just means that together, it doesn’t work.
Cry a little bit if you want but realize that if you really are a winner, you have to get back in the saddle. If you’re in the hole, a personal development process can only make you feel better!
Stop spending time and energy for a girl who clearly doesn’t want you. Respect yourself! Isn’t it in fact an excuse for not having to go on the field and approach girls ? Come out of your comfort zone! It will change your mind…
III – Wanna go further ?
Feel free to check my ebook “Friendzone & Sexualization” ! ;)