February 23th 2016,
I felt that everything was going to change, but nothing changed… a bit like during the night of December 22 to 23, 2012. To better understand what happened to me, I need to tell you everything.
Friday morning, after I fucked Tinder’s bomba latina, a guy pissed me off on FB. “Thi guy”, is the niggaz from Nice, with whom I had participated in a sixsome last year: an angry man who likes to denigrate me on the Internet because he knows that he owes me a lot for opening his field of possibilities. Logically he should be grateful but it much easier for the ego of an asshole to tell shit and pretend he had learned all by himself.
The fucker tried to intimidate me: “I’m in Lyon this weekend if it can allow you to shut up and say nonsense on the INTERNET”. In fact, what he did not appreciate is that I made a few remarks in public in order to help him: the poor said he wanted to dumb his girlfriend but he has not the balls to do it. The truth is he has the IQ of a bulot so I answered him something not really Buddhist but that he could understand “If you do not want fuck yourself, I will come to help you, yeah.
– Listen to me, I’m not here to talk and I will not be there to have a drink with you. All I ask is that you get stuck in your poor life without pissing me off.
– So that’s why you come and talk to me on FB? Little pussy
– Pussy? Emoticon smile Come and meet me on Friday
– big pussy if you prefer. I have already told you it’s ok
– I keep you informed when I am here that we find ourselves
– we’ll see
– you’re going to end up in a rubbish
– Ah I like the threats
– Ok sucker »
Afterwards, he tried to argue with some off-topic stuff “Dude.. you got assaulted before my eyes… I will not belittle your cowardly behavior so if you want to act like a man I’ll be there
– I already told you it’s ok
– We’ll see that when you’re there
– in fact it is you who will be there, I am already here
– you’re small, ugly, petty and menacing you make a lot of noise
– I love your gay compliments
– ok fuck yourself see you on Friday
– Yes I can’t wait
– Do not make an anxiety attack
– If I had to take into account all the haters like you I would not live
– When God decides to give you the physical and the mentality of a coward, you need stratagems I can conceive it
– Thank you you are too good and so superior
– it’s good to exchange roles from time to time
– Yes, yes, believe it if it can make you feel good and reassure you”
Basically, the guy reproaches me having been assaulted in a party by a very tall guy completely drunk (that he had mounted against me with his buddy telling him that I fuck a lot of chicks easily then, since that I was talking to his girlfriend, the bonobo did not think and he threw himself on me without discussion to strangle me). So, the guy, I could have tazzered him but I did not because it would have fallen back on me, legally speaking. In addition, in front of all his friends and his best friend, it would have been silly on my part to put oil on the fire so I just left and that’s it. Then, the asshole from Nice criticizes my crises of anxiety : if it is his only argument against me it is shit.. and sad. Finally, attacks on the physical, I do not even talk about it because when the guy is as effeminate as he is, it does not reach me.
In fact, he played the real man until I get cold feet but it was he who did not contact me when he was in Lyon for fear that I would come for good. It really annoys me, these stupid haters! So, it’s normal that I display it: when you’re a pain in the ass and that in addition you get cold feet, you should not be surprised. He may think, next time. Now that I’ve emptied my bag, I’ll ignore him forever.
Friday night, I visited the designer. She was drinking and smoking joints with a girlfriend when I arrived. Her buddy started telling me she’s libertine, she slept with 89 guys (by digging I learned they were mostly old) and some chicks. She put my hand on her thigh saying that she liked my glasses. It was supposed to turn me off, I think. Except that I am not really exciting by very fat women so did nothing. We spent a “friendly” night and I went home.
Saturday night, with the Nice Giant, we signed up on the site libertine that had advised me the friend of the designer. Out of curiosity and for 9€, I was able to access the wonderful world of libertines: only couples or chicks of 40 years and over, often overweight. There were still some young hotties, must be honest, but they are so demanded that it is hard to talk to them. As usual, the prizes are the women alone and I’m a shit because I’m just a man. In short, it’s okay, I’m used to.
Afterwards, we went out and I saw again the pretty Mediterranean of Tinder. Like what, this chick I have peshed on the Internet, I could as well have picked her up in club two days later.
Sunday, I fucked all day with The Teacher. We did it by watching a porn and it was really VERY exciting.
Yesterday, Monday at 9pm, I was visited by a Caribbean woman. It was SHE who had approached me on Adopt “I’ve already felt the desire have sex with a person I did not know at all, that I just crossed in the street but the “social pressure”, the lack of discretion, my timidity, the lack of confidence, my bad conscience… always put me off. Strong and uncontrollable drive that turns into frustration if you do not satisfy them… Yes I spend my time restraining myself and I always want things to happen in due form but how to refuse when you are asked to settle the problem without any consequences, return of flame or other and having such a motto?
– No one asks you to refuse, try the experiment, have some orgasms :) the barriers are intangible
– Ok I want to try but you will have to help me…. »
This girl had only slept with 8 guys before me (only black men) and, like many white or black women, had never orgasmed. I wanted to do a good action and it made me hard to be her first “white guy”!
So, we got drink of Get27, we smoked a bedo… in short, we relaxed like in her iland. Then she said “I think it’s a bad idea, I’ll go back home.
– OK, do as you please. » Without negotiating, I went to lie down on my bed where I undressed in front of her. She did not dare look at my cock by shyness. She came to sit beside me on the bed and staring straight at me. It really made me laugh so I took her hand and put it on my cock that she shook for a while. “How do you feel when you do that?
– Warm and wet.”
I asked her to undress, too, out of politeness. She swallowed another glass of alcohol and jumped. I later fucked her doggy style with caressing of clit. I held her firmly because she did not want to let herself go and she ended up enjoying. It was the first time in her life that she felt like that so she asked me if I had drugged her or what… “No, the only drugs you took are your joint and my cock.”
Well, that was a cool fuck. Like a Caribbean !!! That was my first “real” black. A nice black that said, super beautiful, and funny. After the ejaculation, she studied my body of white man and our respective differences like our underfoot. She even commented on our differences in body odor. My very easy relationship to sex really fascinated her. Then she got dressed and I walked her downstairs. It was two o’clock in the morning so I was likely to cross people in the elevator. And then, in the worst case, it would have given to my neighbors something funny to tell.
So it was the last FC I had set out to do. I am now free.
I had the impression that everything was going to change, but nothing changed. A bit like in the night of December 22nd to 23rd, 2012. Because the change must take place in my head and not in my underpants. I have to realize where I come from (social phobic) and where I am now (big fucker who understands relationships between men and women). I have to evolve too, at the risk of becoming obsolete. I must therefore rub myself with the unknown after rubbing myself with so many unknowns…
I have freed myself of the burden of achieving a consistent number of FC. I will now play without constraint, in freestyle, only for my pleasure and my mood. I do not know yet what I will do, I think I will become difficult and play it hard to get like a gadji. In the idea, I want to take more care of myself. I want to :
– develop my relationship with the sexual bomb that serves me as a lover (The Teacher);
– make new experiences (libertine clubs);
– continue to realize fantasies (even if there are not many left);
– approach for fun in the street.
Basically, I really took control in my head. Women have no power over me, I expect nothing more from them. I have nothing more to prove to them nor to myself. I do not have any complexes any more, sorry for the bastard from Nice. It will be necessary from now on to deserve me, ladies. And that’s good for my mojo. To be concretized, now !!!
Anyway, I do not want to lose my simplicity nor my humility: I know that one can always improve his Game. I am aware that I am very good in online and very good lover. But my level went down in the night (maybe because I increased my level online, it would be a story of communicating vases: less energy, time and envy in the night). I never really practiced street except 2 FC: for me, it’s a huge waste of time. But if I no longer need results, why not practice “for fun” ?
I will continue my blog because financially, it helps me, and then it would be a purely selfish mistake to have done everything I did, understood everything I understood but to don’t share it… I hope to see a new evolution in me little by little. And then, if I do not reach the moon, I will land at least in the stars.
Thank you for everything, God of the Game!