I opened a girl by asking her “did you fart?”

16th February 2013,

It is a little the shit for me now because I have three good nights to tell … I am not up to date in my diary then I am going to try to resume everything in order chronological to forget nothing (I have not a good memory).

Tuesday, February 12th : A bar and a student association had organized a speed-dating at about 9:30 pm on the occasion of the Valentine’s Day.  Seriously, it was very funny, some PUA buddies were there: the Coach of Marseille and one of his friend who also game, Hafid and the president of the Student Union of the faculty of literature. A girl I know well, this president, because I have poked her and since that day she enjoys my texts on Facebook. Then, we got on every time we crossed in the parties. So, I have not the desire to screw her but she is very nice and enjoys an important social position, it is thus a relation after which I look (in my way). And no, I do not poke only girls whom I want to fuck : I do it fast and I sort out then among those who answer.

The decoration: 20 girls sat behind tables, the boys changing tables at every echo of bell. Except for the players I know, the other guys made me the impression to be a beautiful band of losers. Big geeks asexual and desperate as it teems with it on the forums of seduction. I enjoyed moreover pissing off the one who turned clockwise, behind me. At a given moment I even stuck a chewing gum on the chair by leaving. To return to the subject: the problem is that the private meetings did not last for a long time, seriously  : not even three minutes. Otherwise, I am rather proud to have avoided all the boring questions (what do you do for a living ? etc.).

In the order: the president of the BDE, a Chinese Brazilian (no matter the age, the race or the social rank of the target, the game always works) Then I was entitled to a brochette of three girls who I had poked but who had ignored me by taking me I quote “for a psychopath who poke all Aix”. Except that I had realized it: when you approach a lot you do not remember who you approached but the girls remember you especially if you are scandalous … Finally in brief the first one was cold with me then I was cold with her (lex talionis)… The second was very nice, without joking, she even poked me again the next day … With the third I installed a frame of authority “we are going to play a game : we avoid pronouncing the word poke”, that passed well. I was then entitled to 2 or 3 foreigners, Brazilians and German … There is moreover one that I convinced to come to my party of the 23. I fell at a given moment on the lean but cute girl whom Hafid had kiss last Friday but I had not recognized her over the moment (the Coach of Marseille screwed her later thanks to this student Speed-Dating). Then sausages galore and I ended with a beauty who I had also poked : apparently we had exchanged messages but I had no memory of it, needs to say that I do it automatically and that I copy a lot otherwise I don’t get out of it… I placed all the same two or three cult line like saying “Well, this tonight, I am opened to any proposals”. At the end, I lost the paper on which I had noted the FB I had taken, well, I left a note on the wall of the event « nice night »… this way they can find me if they want orgasms.

Then, the evening really started. A completely crazy chick named Pauline came to talk to me: are you Cyprineman (that’s my name on FB) ? She had recognized me from my texts and everything and she had even my “spotted” registered on her phone because that had made her have a good laugh. It is a little that the beginning of the celebrity I guess …

Bonsoir à toi mon amour, (I do not translate because it is a poem)
Fille non levrettée à ce jour,
Je rejoins la longue liste non-virile des mecs pédés,
Lâches et mous qui publient sur Spotted afin de te bourrer.
Toi, ma petite chérie avec ta mèche coiffée au foutre,
Je t’ai traitée de pute parce que faut que je te poutre,
Mon rôle d’homme je n’assume pas, je me cache comme une petite fiotte afin de t’écrire ceci :
Je kiffe ton cul, tes seins et ta bouche de suceuse. J’suis pas une tafiole au fond, youpi!
Mais ça tu le sais déjà… c’est pas la peine que je joue au poète de mes couilles,
Alors au lieu d’écrire un texte de poète refoulé qui cache sa nouille,
J’espère que tous les mecs qui ont posté sur cette page mourront puceaux,
Et que la prochaine génération de mecs retrouvera ses burnes. Oh!
J’vais retrouver ma dignité en allant aux putes,
Signé : un poète sodomite (un crétin efféminé) qui veut que tu joues de sa flûte!

An easy shot will you tell me? Except that this Crazy Pauline and her Red-haired friend kissed 2 or 3 other guys in the evening thus not so easy … At a given moment, a game : two people Boy / girls had a card and you have to find who has the same card. She told me “if you find the same than I, I kiss you”. I did not really look for because to tell the truth, my real target of the evening just turned up with her best friend, as hot as her btw.

Beautiful Name is a girl I like, just my kind in fact, tall brunette with green eyes and baby’s head. Nice cutie who I have poked and then we talk a lot on FB and then text msg and everything and we agreed to meet this evening, in this bar. Her best friend admitted to me that Beautiful Name dreaded our meeting … Then I played the guy who also dreaded, but by remaining teasing and sexual without too much! Subtle, me ? Never.

In brief, good evening, no kiss but I returned with Crazy Pauline (the crazy who is a fan of my « spotted »). We walked in the street and everything and then she did not stop giving me kisses on the cheek with her purple lipstick, I had even a big track which she photographed. At the moment I turned and I stole her a smack, for sport … I do not count it I did it just for the frenzy.

To finish, Hafid slept at my home. Needs to explain: Hafid ages badly, he becomes more and more crazy. At the moment, he rents a studio for 400€ to his landlord and later he sells it to travelers for 39€ per night. A good margin of monthly 200€ happens while keeping the apartment for some evenings. The rest of the time, he squats at too stupid too good budd, at his parents or in his car. There for example, he was obliged to sleep with me because his room was rented. I should ask a % on his trick, fuck, I am not an hostel. Especially that I am soon going to have a new roommate (the other one left to Australia, lucky guy). Well, Hafid fell asleep while I chated with Crazy Pauline on FB (because she added me by going back home = big Indicator of Interest).

Thus, I told you that I am soon going to have a new roommate (next week) who has a cat. I hope that he will not prevent me from fucking nor that he will not be too much shocked by my birthday party.

Wednesday, 13 : Awakening by Pauline of the day before, who discovered that we are almost neighbors. I let her come because she had promised to bring me a chocolate croissant. She is crazy, a real electric cell who says bullshit and run everywhere … but she pleased me: she woke Hafid by jumping on him. In brief, we flirted by SMS during a good moment and she returned me another friend of hers, Lolotte, enough fresh also and funny.  I kicked them out at around midday because I had to go to the dentist for a descaling. It is true, it is important to have beautiful white teeth to kiss Beautiful Name.

The evening of Wednesday, I spent it watching the Nouvelle Star replay because there is an Asian a little typified girl who looks like my ex, so I have the impression to have fucked her, and that creates links.

On Thursday, 14: date fixed in club with Beautiful Name. I told her by text message that the one who does not kiss in the 1st date is a gentleman but the one who does not kiss to the second, is a fag. She enough agreed with this idea then I asked her if we could consider this evening as a second date and she said yes. That smelt good thus.

In the afternoon I went shopping with Hafid for our birthday. We approached a girl in Plan de Campagne who looks rather happy to come to our birthday with 2 or 3 friends. I bought handcuffs in toy and I remember having attached her to our car. It was funny.

We made a before at Crazy Pauline, with Hafid and the Captain. I emptied a wine bottle and Lolotte was too kind and fun, she ceaselessly gave me to drink and everything and to eat. In return, I handcuffed her to the coffee table. We all moved in the club, masks party, had also the group of Germans there of the last week. In brief, I lost rather quickly everybody (and my handcuffs) in the club and I stayed with the captain who played the role of the mute. He likes those challenges: kissing girls by giving himself a handicap. At a given moment I confided him to a chick by asking her ” guard my cousin autistic 5 minutes please for example by dancing with him” and they kissed. Other anecdote: a girl threw herself on him by bawling ” YOU ARE ON ADOPTE YOUUUUU “. During this time I looked for my girl Beautiful Name sweetheart.

The girl Beautiful Name made me a thing not Catholic during the evening. At the beginning she was kind like kisses in the neck on the cheek and everything and then BAM she disappeared with her group of buddies and did not calculate me any more during a good hour… The captain bet me 10€ that I would not kiss her. Then what have I done? Beh, I tried to pick up other girls and there she came, telling me “yes, what is it blah blah blah “. In brief, the ant is not unselfish ! Then I lied saying that I already knew the girls in question, saying that they were friends of mine and everything and I took aside her to try to kiss her … and there she put me a miserable STOP “not in the club”. So I thought either of an excuse of shit to put myself a kind rake or whether there was eel under rock with another guy who she liked also present then I told her « beh let’s go out outside then (because going out inside it is difficult)” she was kind enough, we went out and everything, and there in the street we isolated and MAGIC she was allowed to kiss… then later, in the club, she re-kissed me it is just baffling then I asked her why and everything she told me « Beh for a first kiss in a club it doesn’t mean anything » ! At the time I thought that I had not signed for a doggy style and a kiss on the forehead but for a girl who wanted a couple. We decided to return at about 4 am with the captain because he worked the next day. I left without saying goodbye and she ran to me later to kiss me.

By going out I contacted another girl who I poke and who gave me her number and everything but every time I do not honor dates (I stood her up twice). There, when I went to buy my presale for the party in the bar she recognized me and came to speak to me. I noticed enthusiastically that she was sexy, I believed that she was not top according to her photos. Exchange of text messages later in the night :

« MOI : I was stone.
ELLE : stone of what ?
MOI : like elsewhere lol
ELLE ::p are your high ?! lol
MOI : a little bit. C U later if you want. Time I come back in my body.
ELLE : hahaha ok no soucy (I am just a little drunk me) :p
MOI : lucky you
ELLE : no needs to be obvious because I handle the changing rooms
MOI : lol come to the M***al
ELLE : no I have to stay until my bar closes but you can come you
MOI : yeah I will visite you
ELLE : ok I didn’t moved :p
MOI : I hope you didn’t plan to sleep early
ELLE : oh no if I have to I can’t not sleep of the night ;)
MOI : Well you know we sleep better in my bathroom
ELLE : yeah but your bed is maybe more comfortable
MOI : So you will negotiate it at 4am J
ELLe : haha ok
MOI : hahaha would it be better to let you sleep with your friend who snores ?
ELLE : none of my friends snore :p
MOI : lol don’t kill our Valentine’s excuse
ELLE : a no no I don’t kill it no worry :p
ELLE : btw 4am isn’t it late ? Meet me at à « club where I have been refused once since I am hurt » I will tell you when we are there
MOI : OKAY bb
ELLE : ok so I was there I don’t know why you didn’t come so I took a cab and sleep with my friend, good night c u soon !!! » She motivates me no more than that, I dunno there is not really a connection it can’t be explained, I hesitate to tell her that I moved in the North Pole.

In brief, the Valentine’s Day of the last year was more a success all the same. I shall tell you that another time.

Friday, 15 : date with a girl of Adopte in the afternoon (blond Pauline kind of working girl style). We caressed our feet in the bar at the end, we stayed something like 2 or 3h… She liked very much well me : I read it in the eyes and the physical language. I didn’t kiss her because she was distant at the time of saying goodbye and I retained certain lessons. Sometimes is better not to be thought of as a dead man of hunger, especially with thoses girls’ a little bit serious. Who « goes piano goes lontano » My slogan of the moment. And I believe that it is not so stupid with some. Needs that I qualify my game.

In the evening, I saw things really knackered. The evening was rotten, we returned to the club where there were the Swedish last week but nothing. It was boring to die except that there was 2-3 funny things all the same. I opened a girl by asking her “did you fart?” She was foreign and understood nothing … She absolutely wanted that I explain to her and everything she spoke to two-three cms of my face … instead of kissing her I told her that I was gay. I dunno why, I read it in The Game, I wanted to test. Bah, it was knackered but I leave at least with the pride to have made 30min of discussion to a not too bad girl by approaching her like that (who dares win).

Other news : I was released by one of my sexfriends, my preferred moreover, Marie who studies medicine. That broke my heart, to tell you everything. I quote « I am really sorry to answer only now. But it is because I thought for a long time about the answer which I was going to give you. I wondered what at the bottom of me I really wanted, and I believe that I would prefer that we remain just friends. You did absolutely nothing bad, and know that I really adored all the moments we shared, I felt very good with you but … Certain things there blocked me a little, and then I see good that it is not top for you to do with all my constraints of time, work … I am not very available. Once again I appreciate you a lot thus that would have pleased me to see you this weekend to discuss.. But I fear that if I spend the night with you I less feel at ease than usual and that does not take place as you would want it … It is my fault I know. And also my mother would not have appreciated I think that I do not see her on Friday knowing that on Saturdays she leaves with her friend for two weeks in Thailand and the fact that I have my periods… Know that it would hurt me that you never want to talk to me anymore because of that, if you want we can always meet to talk, if you do not want I shall understand. OK so, excuse me. » I had balls. I translate her message “It gets on my nerves that you do not want an official couple, now I found another guy who is then willing I prefer to give up everything with you and try with him because even if it is less good and even if I do not really know him, it is socially better admitted. In two weeks I shall not be with him anymore but well I am going to waste everything because of this FUCKING social pressure.”

Then, I fucked Precious Stone without condom, to let off steam. I abuse I feel dirty. In fact, I had difficulty in being hard, not eaten of the day and lack of excitement. Then she sucked me and there it came but here is to maintain it were needed at least good sensations then I gave in to the appeal of the vaginal abyss. Well, what reassures me it is that she told me « If you have something I kill you. I made the tests and I have not fuck since. Olalala what did I do?!” She felt very guilty and everything. Reassuring. Well, that tempts me to lay off all my sex friends and to start again in 0 with the empty testicles.

Small exchange with Crazy Pauline on FB, after the masks night :
– You kiss who you want no need to make me a report eh sir
– Well I admit . I kissed Lolotte then
– Good
– I guessed she liked me
– You guessed well
– well me too I like her a little but well I thought that she preferred my cousin (we tell to everybody that the Captain is my cousin and we wait that the fiction joins the reality)
– it’s OK you won’t complain ?!
– complaining about what?
– having kissed her
– lol . nope I was kidding . I didn’t kiss her , I lost her in the club . but now I know what I wanted to know

Saturday, 16 : the day before my birthday, I guess that I have just had my present early and it is ironic.

Beautiful Name : Hola how do you perceive the fact that we kissed each other on Thursday?
Moi : blablabla I cloud the issue. And you ?
Beau Prénom : I didn’t regret what happened on Thursday evening but I admit that I do not feel to be in a relationship with someone today for some reasons blablabla. I just look for friends.
Moi : okay I don’t wanna put you under pressure blablabla. I sexualize and tease her and tell her that she if don’t wanna kiss me anymore she just have to tell it.

Roughly : I screwed up, but I do not know how … Nor why. She maybe had the buyer’s remorse : she left happy and in one WE  with her parents she writes me some shit like that. That dreams up too much these small animals: why complicating what is simple ? The life is short even if we live in an overprotected society, we can die whenever or have some big annoy, then when there is a good moment to live, it is necessary to live it. It is in the movies of shit of romanticism that it makes a beautiful story when it is complicated and when we frustrate ourselves. But the life is not a movie MOTHERFUCKER. In brief, because of her state of mind, I believe that it is dead for me …

May the God of the Game be with us !

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