This field report is related to the field report of the 02/28/2013.
Part 1 : My birthday 2012
February 26th 2012,
The party of my birthday was yesterday. I am going to tell you the details which I remember (and fortunately that there are photos to help my mischievous memory). Btw, thanks to all the morrons which specified « 23 years old » on my wall, it has been ten days since I lie to a girl by saying that I am 28, just to screw her.
In brief. I organized a small party in which I invested a lot:
– Inflatable swimming pool in my apartment ‘filled with alcohol (diluted otherwise that is too expensively for a modest student very humble) and balloons;
– Several heatings so that the girls get naked more spontaneously (AHAHAH) ;
– Tropical decorations stuck on walls (if it not the girls that I stuck to the walls) ;
– All kinds of accessories : sunglasses, wigs, flower necklaces, plastic palm trees, water guns heuuuu vodka guns, cuddly monkeys, small ducks and frogs for the swimming pool, megaphones, hats which speak (btw a guy of the party will go to Griffondor) and small lamps for a stylish lighting… ;
– Small incentive words stuck almost everywhere in the apartment: « GET NAKED », « STRIP POKER », « WHEEL OF FUN » (french kiss, black room with…, lap danse, slap …, get topless, take a shot, kiss without tongue), etc. ;
– A black room in my bathroom : black curtain, mattress on the bathtub, pillows, condoms and I had removed bulbs ;
– Girls who looked so much spread in their nice tiny shorts;
– In my great disappointment, none of my friends found relevant to pay me a stripper. I am going to have to change my social circle.
I created an event-shock on Facebook « Hello everybody, my friends (and patches) ! As you know, it is soon the most important event of the year : my birthday ! Here is the event where I invite you for my birthday (feel flattered) : We turn the heating to full capacity and we make a summer party !!! Just to follow up, I shall even put a swimming pool so that those who wish (and those whom we shall flow them inside) can bathe in shirt (or without, or topless)!!! Come so that I explain you my vision of gender relations ! » It was cool, I really wanted a lot of people, the total, then I invited everybody and even unknowns on FB who looked hot : « Miaou. There is a perdition party on Saturday evening, you are going to love it : Sofa, sweaty waiters and all the friends of Cat. »
The reminder the same day: « Hello people whom I invited, for this evening bring me some alcohol + chicks and it will be fun ! PS : If you forget your swimsuits, you will finish naked. » The call of the debauchery, thus. Why I invested so much: because it is important to have a reputation to be supplied in women. When you are known thanks to striking, shocking or unusual events, people talk about you. Indeed, there is nothing interesting in the life of most of people, then they speak about the life of others … They live by proxy. This is why I receive this kind of message on Facebook and friends’ requests sent by cuties who try their luck. « Hello Cyprineman, we do not know each other but I’ve heard about you. I would like to know more about you. XXX » There, you can already imagine the girl giggling in the slightest of your jokes by touching her string or breasts, according to her affinities. The kind who laughs even when you do not deliberately say bullshit, what is a little bit frustrating, btw !!!!!
As regards the progress of the evening: it is at this moment of the narrative which the pack saddle hurts. I have not much to tell you because I guess that I drank a vodka-GHB. I was overwhelmed by the events, I antagonized the neighbors because of the noise, a Swedish scratched me the trunk and I banged the best friend of my best buddy in the black room, mode doggystyle-with-head-took-into-the-wall on. It had been a long time since I wanted it, moreover.
Let’s start again from the beginning, if this text is not very structured, it is normal because I still have a hangover like Galifianakis. You are warned.
I had invited hundred people via Facebook by asking them to come accompanied with damsels only. Obviously, the instruction was not really respected but MIRACLE the ratio was reached well and truly. We were approximately 50/50, a good proportion for debauchery (the ideal proportion being me and only women. But it is not obvious that it would suit them all, God having endowed me with only one single sex). In brief, a little more than 80 people in my modest 60m². Some that I did not know moreover, fortunately that I had hidden valuables. The neighbors came to rang, a couple of kind little old people who were offended at about 11pm by a delirious crowd. They threatened to call the police and my roommate fortunately went to negotiate to calm them. She is charming this girl, that had to play on the fact that the cops did not come. However, this morning (still drunk) I had to clean during 5 hours, and not just my apartment, the corridor also. People looked at me by smiling, like “well done fuck you annoyed us all night long yesterday “, it was infuriating. Golden rule: warning the neighbors and inviting them if necessary, it is always better… Then a grandmother who turns up in a rave-up of young people, that always makes its small effect.
Concerning my somersaults of yesterday : I dived into the swimming pool and I have flashbacks in which I was admiring Pauline’s ass in the blackroom (we saw a little all the same because of the light which passed under the door). I do not know how I found myself in this situation but it was cool. I hope that my best friend is not going to be jealous and all this. I always wanted to do “broes before hoes” relegating the girls to the rank of entertainment, but with Popo it is different, we often see each other and everything and then she is jolly sexy… I hope that I was good, having said that, because I do not remember any of it… I think that I had difficulty in being strained and in remaining hard to tell you everything… Between the scamps who knocked at the door and my body saturated by illicit substances… Not obvious. Remember the proverb « the alcohol instigates the desire but reduces the performances » (I had put a little bit of orange juices in my vodka but well).
I thus realized an old embodied fantasy IE a girl whom I wanted for a long time. Cat tells me that it had a good time too even if an asshole dyed green it (yeah I teach to my cat how to talk). We also appreciated that about ten people stay to help us to clean the minimum living wage…
I kiss you tenderly (especially the Swedish even if she was OK to kiss a friend a girl of mine but not me because she had “a boyfriend” who can understand…)
See you next year for an even crazier party! May the God of the Game be with you !
Part 2 : My birthday 2011
February 17th 2011,
I had promised to tell fast made my birthday of 2011. In fact I flirted at that time with an American since a few days and in parallel friends had organized me a party AT THEIR PLACE (what avoid me having to clean the next day) so I had invited her. We exceeded 100 people in their poor apartment, I guess (they had to move after) including a lot of people I did not know.
The thing is that by arriving at the party, a kind of Japanese there came speaking to me “do you have a fag ?
– H’m no but did you take me for a sucker or what?
– c’mon ! I kiss you for a fag
– If it was an excuse to come speaking to me, find a guy who gives you one and then come back talking to me normally.” What she did, that at least will have taught her the respect. So typical : the girls know perfectly that we are programmed to accept the exchange sex-resources then they make an excessive use of it but often lose their respect for the suckers who submit themselves to the first chick who asks. Then, she started kissing all my buddies to make me grumble but I didn’t give a damn because my target was the American. I taught her the French kiss then suggested her going to my place to have sex but she answered “no you have to stay it is your birthday party
– c’mon, if I leave just one hour nobody will know (I lived next door)
-no, after the party maybe…” Well then I was angry thus to avenge me I kissed the American then I changed room and kissed the Japanese (Or Chinese IDK sorry for my Asian friends).
Also, the case of one of the girls who lived there with who I was pushy, that pleased her but I have never fucked her. For the anecdote she contacted again me 3 days later at 2am and because I didn’t answer, the next day she said “Sorry I was a little drunk I didn’t find my keys then I wondered if you could help me”. Seriously. If I had answered I would certainly have fucked her and she wanted it at the moment but then she did not assume. In brief, at this period I was happy to screw girls just because they were cute thus I would have been satisfied if I had slept with her but on second thought she is a hazy, full of drugs, alcoholic, etc. thus I don’t care now. We would have been able to have a good time together, but like almost all, she complicated everything and it fell apart (Feared of being judged or did not put me rather high in her hierarchical pyramid of males or IDK what else (that makes me laugh these hierarchical pyramids because I see girls ready to do anything to sleep with a guy because he is a waiter in a club (if she loves the night) or dealer (for those who are in the world of the drug) or the president of their prom or I whatever there is a lot of it… while they are often not very beautiful guys, full of shitty substances, sometimes stupid… It proves me that the process which creates the attraction dating thousand years is not any more in sync with the current needs of people and that people do not know how to put things in perspective in this domain ’cause real wealth for us like for our children is health).
Well. Let’s return to the party. At the end, the Asian and the American wanted both that I go to her place. I chose the American, principle of coherence, fuck. Bad choice. She started to talk to me during 1 hour then I undressed her after a relentless fight and I started to finger her, she also touched my cock then she decided “No I decided that in France I shall sleep with nobody because I am here to recover from a broken heart”. Stupid. Nothing to do : I came back home frustrated because of a selfish and crazy girl.
I saw again the Chinese in town later at the music festival. She warmed me with words and invited at her home at the end of the night. Then when I called her, she never answered. That makes me laugh these girls who, when they feel that you like them a little, play the princesses and are so happy to feel desired (for nothing), that amuses them. It makes me laugh because, I saw her again 1 year later, she had become FAT (no other word). The poor girl, she would better have seize the opportunity because now I would not want her even if she was delivered free of charge in underwear. Then even, this mentality disgusts me now thus I do not risk to go into these small games and those who practice I just want to say “fuck you” to them.
Last anecdote, a few days after my birthday, a buddy had a “date” with the Chinese. They went “having a drink”. No kiss nor fuck but my buddy was happy “Yeah we spoke during 2 hours I was able to show her my culture we spoke only about paintings, music, Mozart, and geopolitical situation… I think that we’ll meet again and fuck”. What a fucking logic, she never answered him of course then he wondered why. Because you were boring, guy, and it is not with this kind of men that the girls want to enjoy. It is good to have culture and opinions but it is not the role of a first date especially if you just want to bang the girl. If some of you recognize themselves, the main problems are: lack of fun, and not enough sexual initiatives. Given that he accumulated the fails, he decided to stop seeing frequently me and pushing away altogether Game because we sent back him to his own frustration: pride had spoken, he would fuck girls WITHOUT LEARNING ANYTHING or he would masturbate all his life long. At the moment, he masturbates.
May the God of the Game be with you !