Procrastination and avoidance strategies

Procrastination is the tendency to systematically postpone certain actions, an activity, a particular task. The procrastinator can not “go to work”… especially when it does not provide instant gratification.

But being a “chronically late person” does not mean doing nothing. Rather, the subject can do a lot of things (go shopping, a spring cleaning, repainting the shutters and calling his grandmother) as long as these things are not related to a really problematic task for him.

At the end of the day, the procrastinator says he finally has not advanced much in his project… But it does not matter, because tomorrow he will do it seriously, he promised.

 

Who is concerned ?

Anyone can be subject to procrastinatation, for one reason or another. I give you examples: adults eager to learn by themselves but leaving their books gathering dust, students losing their time on Youtube instead of revising, people who want to diet or quit smoking and who always promise to do it the next day, etc.

 

The causes :

Studies have shown that there is a connection between procrastination and: anxiety, perfectionism (fear of your own judgment or the one of others), low self-esteem, boredom, apathy and impulsivity.

Some perfectionists are therefore affected by procrastination. Since they can not bring themselves to make an average job and since a perfect job takes time and effort, they prefer to avoid the task. Procrastination is often related to fear of failure.

Others say they are “overwhelmed” and do not know where to start. This may be the case in seduction because of the mass of available information. I’ve prepared a plan for you to make it easier : click this link to see it.

We can also see in procrastination a fear of success, or rather an unconscious fear of change, a fear of breaking a vicious circle (a void is left). The feeling you have to be (very well) prepared before doing things can be another reason for procrastination.

According to the psychologist Walter Mischel from Stanford University, who conducted experiments in the 1960s, procrastination is a phenomenon mainly due to a lack of learning of self-control, of our own desires. But, he said, and some other scholars after him, we can learn it quickly and well. It’s encouraging !

 

Excuses :

If you’re a procrastinator, you always find a good excuse to justify your behavior. You turn around the bush but it is just a self-deceit. Excuses are divided into three types:
– Lack of time and other non-renewable resources ;
– Lack of money and other renewable resources;
– Lack of personal talent, stuff like “I do not feel capable.”

Those that are found most often when you pick up with guys are :

“I will not approach a girl until all the conditions are not met. There are too many people around. I’m not out for that. This is not the right place. I did not go to the hairdresser. And I do not have the level to succeed so why trying? “

“There’s too much noise in this club, I will approach in a party when we can hear each other…”

“I’m not feeling really warm tonight, next week it will get better. I’m not in the mood.”

 “I’m in high school, once in college I’ll move my ass.” And once in college, “I will start after my exams, now, I’m too busy! “

“I’m only 16 years old, it’s hard to approach girls at my age, when I’ll be 18 I will feel more comfortable to do so.” At 19, “I do not feel very good right now, we will see that later.”

“This girl is walking too fast, I will approach the next one. In addition, she is not hot enough, I’m not motivated enough. And she does not look nice, I guess she’s a superficial rich girl, anyway.”

Since there is no admissible reason not to act here, we can conclude that these are just excuses of cowards. And it turns out that this is indeed 99% of the time the case! I don’t give a damn what you plan to do in the future. I want to see action now. Because an initiative worth 1000 words.

 

The concept of avoidance strategy:

Avoidance is a behavior which consists of avoiding what would confront you with your anguish. We have to realize that most people live in a glass prison.

Avoidance strategies through such excuses make you still feel a vague unease behind your bad faith. While a saving efforts would help you improve your well-being. Otherwise, I would not piss you off with that.

However, if you do not make the effort, you will try to find an excuse for keeping internal consistency and justifying your inaction. And it can last long…

But I don’t know if there is really a good time to get out of your comfort zone. To start a better life. I guess that the perfect time is now… Make a decision, let’s say… tonight, not next year. And try to stick to it!

If you do not succeed, do not be discouraged; you are probably the most severe judge of yourself… then why don’t you think possible for you what you think is possible for another one? Be patient and sympathize with yourself! And try again!

I often meet girls who want to realize their fantasies (like threesomes) and that are seductive as the prospect is distant but get cold feet at the last moment under muddy excuses. “I have a little stomach ache tonight so I do not come”: it is a normal reaction because it stresses them, going out of their comfort zone, but we must see beyond that! Then know that to live exceptional things, you must deserve them a little, by daring for example! The worst is « I want it to happen in a spontaneous way » : fuck you, everything does not fall from the sky.

 

The solutions :

If you are not able to stand back, never forget that whether you act or not, time will pass anyway. This is a real constraint so use it wisely. So you need to review your priorities and analyze what really blocks you! It’s not when you’ll be 60 that you will fuck young girls! Select the most important things, the ones that will give you the most well-being. Finding a girlfriend (or several) and having a regular sexual activity, is it important to you? How important ? See for yourself (without bad faith). Tackle what will make a real difference in your life, and go after things.

Then, realize when you procrastinate or use a strategy of avoidance and know how to recognize when these excuses (and your little inner voice) work for you or against you. Shut it up when it’s against you. Set yourself achievable goals (you need a bit of discipline): at first, it will not be fucking four new girls a week. But approaching three girls a week, for example. Change your thinking, put stuff in perspective, change the words you put on things and try to be positive. Think of the feeling of satisfaction, of the immense pleasure it will bring you to finally have this thing DONE! Even if you’ll probably have to work hard at the beginning (it’s not easy). Prove that you have some character, some will!

With regard to dare approaching a girl :
– At the beginning, be in the game rather than the stake. It will save you from too much stress.
– Do not try to make perfect approaches (who cares ? It puts too much pressure and then who can judge you anyway?)
– Keep it simple: one idea per sentence, do not try to be TOO original, just try to do…!

Anyway BRAVO for reading this article until the end, for not having postponed the reading. It shows that you feel that something is wrong and you want to change it. This is a very noble goal, wanting to move your ass.

So, sign up for a seduction forum to meet players from your city, sign up for Tinder to meet girls easily and start reading my blog to improve yourself in seduction! Courage, it’s worth it!

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