Interest: The pleasure is in the suspense which can happen between the moment there when we try an approach and the results which we obtain from it… It is a game at which we can only win!
10 errors relative to the approach
There is not really a way of approaching which works better than the others (except using the touch or other techniques of persuasion), however some errors must be avoided :
1) You should not not approach : « she is in a hurry, you are badly dressed… » : The report is there, the men are afraid of approaching the women. That it takes 3 seconds or 3 minutes, the important is to become used to speak to unknowns in a natural and relaxed way to develop a social ease. The important is to convey the image of somebody reassured and to show that we are not dangerous, that we are not a beggar and that we are not here to annoy the person. Approaching is not disturbing at all if it is done in a subtle way. It works more than we would want to believe it. It is not rude. It is necessary to dare!
2) You should not approach from behind: like the traitors and the murderers. It is a social and conditioned reflex. You meet a beautiful woman, you have a eye contact, you go back on your steps, you will not especially run and you put yourselves next to her to be able to approach her in a correct way.
3) You should not run after her : It is necessary to stop after having “approached” her. It is going to reassure her, she is not going to say to herself : that one is going to pursue me, etc. And, it is also interesting because it allows to break off momentarily and to bounce at once on what we have to tell her. Do not forget to smile: you are here for the pleasure and to have a friendly social interaction.
4) You should not be heavy or insistent: It is not because we took our courage in two hands to approach her that she owes us something. If she spends her way, leave her and attend to our activities. To whistle for the women and go out in a group of 15 do not work, and the famous “I wondered if your father was a thief because he took all the stars of the sky to put them in your eyes”, either. It is necessary to know how to persevere but not be heavy.
That reminds me the Coach of Marseille who had approached a girl on the street, she had answered “I have a boyfriiiiiiend, classic) and he had pursued her “yeah but if you had no boyfriend would you want? some say that I have beautiful eyes, do you confirm? “…
5) You should not recite a text by heart: That would only serve to be thought of as the weirdest man of the year. There is no magic formula: every situation must be taken with a minimum of spontaneity. For example, simply tell her that she has something out of the ordinary and suggest her verifying that around a coffee.
6) You should not speak too fast, too hardly, to falter and eventually be incomprehensible: The key is the breath. Do not hesitate to lower the flow of the words. The silences are useful to support ideas, they are moments when it is necessary to strengthen the atmosphere which emanates from the discussion. Use these whites and make it trump cards.
7) You should not not assume: We are here to seduce her, you try to get her number, to see again her and more if affinity. Never apologize for having had the boldness to have come approaching her even if you made one of the 10 mistakes. Especially, do not hide behind an a little bit conceited character by trying to impress her : it is old-fashioned, while the approach is anyway already rather impressive in itself.
8) You should not not take her number but giving yours: A woman who gives you her number is a woman who wants to know a little more about you. If she takes your number, it is a polite phrase to say that she will not call you back, that you were not effective enough over the moment. If she is interested, she will give you her number. Idea of answer: “according to a study carried out, unfortunately 90 % of the women who take your number will not call you back”.
9) You should not verify the number: It would show that we are not confident and that we doubt that one can give us a real number. But that can be funny also to confront her with a false number. We can feign a small error on certain numbers: “it is 79 well at the end?”, “no, it is 89”. To consume in moderation because the purpose is to detect them before, these false numbers.
10) You should not not accept the refusal: Good news, the studies are unanimous, there is more than 3 billion women on Earth. Furthermore, a woman approached on the street who rejects you does not reject YOU but the images you conveyed. A woman who rejects you: do not take it personally, she cannot know your values, what makes that you are “you”, in 30 seconds. Laugh at it. To please everybody, it is to please whoever. It is impossible to reach a 100 % success rate. Make your own experience and enrich your culture of the seduction by the practice.
How to take the number of a woman
The direct proposal: Suppose that the meeting was great : interaction without tear and woman who waits that we take her number. Ask her or take out your mobile and give it to her, she will understand that it is necessary to put her number in it.
Do not take her number and do as if we had already taken it : If the interaction took place very well “we shall go drinking a coffee next week or see such exhibition.” If we leave from the principle that it is already won “Oh, but you don’t have my number?!”
The alternative: If we feel her feverish as for the choice to give or not her number: “I suggest you going to drink a coffee in a terrace or to drink a cappuccino and to see an exhibition”. The fact of leaving her two choices is going to encourage her to select what arranges her (feeling of freedom).
The regret : Make her understand that it would be a pity that she does not give you her number: “this kind of situation manages little and meeting the good person rarely happen”. ” You know how it works: if no affinity, no affinity, thus that sincerely commits to nothing”.
The supplement: The interaction took place well and cherry on the cake: tell her at the time of taking her number « btw, I didn’t tell you yet, I am a very good masseur or a cook or I have a jacuzzi ». It is a funny bonus. It will encourage her to give you her number.
The conditional conclusion: If she goes out of a difficult break and is not ready for a new relation, make her understand that we shall not ask for her in marriage nor will put her constraints. You do not oblige her to undertake to do something with you : “well, listen, we should see again each other because we have fun together, we foresee nothing, we simply try to see again each other and to enjoy a good moment”.
The recapitulation: Recapitulate the moments which took place well : « Usually I do not take the number of the violent girls (if she pushed you aside during the evening, for example) but with you it is different. What I am going to do it is that I am going to take your number and we shall go to drink a coffee next week. »
The yes successive: “Yes” engender positive. « Did you like this party? Yes. Do you like having fun? Yes. Are you bored and laugh at weird guys who approach you badly on Saturdays evenings? Yes. Do you like chocolate? Yes (99 % of the women). Then all this is very well, we shall go drinking a coffee next week ». If she answers “no” to provoke us, ignore it and take out all the same the mobile as if she had said ‘yes’ because anyway, she is in a positive emotional state which will encourage her to give you her phone number.
Taking the number or the e-mail ?
The results are appreciably the same. The e-mail is less intrusive and she will give it more easily because when they give their number to a stranger, they are afraid of being harassed night and day; taking the email (or the FB) during a night out is less connoted “pick up” whereas the number is more symbolic.
Planning to see again or meeting on the spot?
It is very exciting to go out with someone we’ve just met: everything can arrive! To privilege thus but it depends especially on possibilities of the one and on the other one. Taking several numbers can be interesting also because those who will release themselves easily to see you again will clearly be interested: it allows to make a sorting!
How to avoid most of the rakes ?
Ask for the number only if you have her immediate assent: you suggest doing something and if she does not look like “yessss good idea” or if she does not talk about taking your number, the situation looks complicated. She can also be shy. When you have the number, chat even some seconds and then you leave to do not spoil everything! My thing it is to give them my number, like that, I know that those who call me back are motivated. The bad thing is that it obliges them to make an effort to send the first message, thus I lose some along the way but well I so less complicate the things for me.
Lessons of trying to pick up :
The direct approach in a store is effective, if the girl is alone.
The foreigners who have just arrived are safe bets.
The age is often a criterion of disqualification: attention to calibration.
Do not hesitate to approach a girl who waits, even if it is for a date.
The personality tests allow to make the shiest and the most reserved girls talk.
Tell her that her answers let think that she has no barriers on her sexuality, that she likes making ceaselessly new meetings, and that she is willing to share. If she does not deny, the night is going to take a form which will suit you.
Always qualify her on grounds where she does not feel at ease. Example: “I speak 5 languages”; “Ah yes, and do you speak Russian?”; “No, I tried to learn”. Always urge her to justify, to put her in a frame of qualification.
When we go night-clubbing, the probability to fall on set of 2 is strong. In this case, opt for the jealousy between the friends by alternating conversation with the one, then with the other one. They will agree to part if each finds some benefit there.
If a girl tells you for example that she was a model, pretend to be used to it and don’t to be impressed.
The fact of being a little bit distant and sometimes to try to pick up openly the friend can also amplify the attraction. The probability is strong in a seduction of two girls at the same time that the girls agree at a moment or another on who will have the priority on the other one. The double game cannot last eternally.
We can meet and sleep with the friends of our friends from the moment everybody agrees, from the moment we assume from the beginning what we want and what we don’t want.
When there is competition, like during a party with friends, do not hesitate to be very reactive to not be doubled.
A girl who stays in a social circle can very well be opened for several adventures in the same circle from the moment she does not feel judged as an easy girl.
The dance is always a way to make rise the temperature to seduce.
The most attractive girls are not the most difficult. The beautiful and sexy girls are not the most difficult but the most unavailable on the other hand, often yes!
The direct approach is effective in big cities. Do not hesitate to put into words the state of mind in which we are when we approach her and to say why we approached her.
The fact that she has free time always justifies to spend some time with her.
Efficiency of the routine: “how could we seduce if we could not speak ?”
The approach asking feminine opinion on the affairs, her emotional past or the meetings in a general way is adapted to approach groups, and when we are with a wingman. It allows to create a little debate and to make react on subjects which directly affect them.
Talking about the way we pick up during a meeting is well perceived and allows to create an immediate rapport. The fact of putting into words what we think, and what we do allows to justify the approach as well as to show our intentions, without necessarily showing too much interested, while remaining funny.
In nightclub, we can approach by simply testing her reactions to touches.
A woman can very well be very motivated over the moment, and rationalize the next day and don’t be anymore in the same state of mind. And conversely, insisting in the trying to pick up can lead you far if you are ready to wait one month, or one year or more..!
The problem of emotional availability is very important and is to be taken into account in the seduction.
Always look relaxed and positive whatever is the situation. Don’t showing yourself emotionally affected by indicators of indifference allows to keep in touch with her.
Approaching at the end of the party just before leaving a place is very effective.
Attention on the game of the assumed womanizer. Generally, it tends to make the conclusion more difficult.
Do not hesitate to approach whatever is the situation.
Always look for the simplest logistic solution when the girl is attracted: try to return her at your place if you can.
The first girl approached is not necessarily the definitive target of the party.
The number 1 obstacle in “night pick up” remains by far the competitors. For example, the jealous persons who act like if they were her friend.
The sense of observation is crucial when we want to seduce a girl.
It is very important to know how to approach at the right time, to avoid useless resistances.
Approaching at the end of the night is often paying, because there is a certain shape of tension (from the moment there were eye contacts) and create, besides, a certain shape of mystery.
Certain women are easier than others.
The fact that she can take you for another one can be an advantage in the approach.
The errors to be avoided during a quick taking of numbers (assembly-line work) :
– No compliments on the physical appearance (to justify the taking of number).
– No conversation on the sex to begin (alert to the pervert = risked).
– Do not approach women you don’t like (spontaneity, body language).
Even if she phones, approach her and if she hangs up it is good.
Suggest going have a drink or explain her that you cannot in fact and exchange your phone numbers.
The approaches have to be done quickly.
If you exchange eye contacts, it has to give you confidence.
Let’s go with self-assurance, straight ahead towards her.
Touching slightly her arm is a way of making her turn around.
When the previous approaches did not work, try again. They can be stupid, gays, upset over the moment, etc..
When you approach, accelerate the walk but avoid seeming too breathless.
Shaking hands with her or giving her a kiss starts a dynamics according to which you can touch each other.
With the foreigners, you can and sometimes even must continue in English.
If she is alone, settle down with her.
Do not stare too much at her tits, etc.
Suggest showing her places to go out.
If you wait for her for example at the exit of a store, she does not have to see that you wait for her.
If the girls work, contact them only when they are alone (bothered?). Say that there will be no problem for the work.
If you see the time go by, it is a very good sign.
Being attracted by a girl and feeling a part of reciprocity in a context where it is very difficult to take action, is something at the same time very attractive and very frustrating.
We are often confronted with this type of situation where we would like to take action, but where the context is not adapted because of the social consequences and of the other people’s opinion. On the other hand, where there is a critical and crucial point in the interaction, it is that you should not miss the moment when there is this possibility of action which appears.
It is not because she has a boyfriend, that she is going to not cheat on him.
In a park (and in a general way) position strategically between two groups of attractive girls, and look at them from time to time…
Approach before her friend arrives.
If for example she speaks in a loud voice to say that there are not available tables anymore. Jump at the opportunity and say that it is going to empty.
Ask for what she drinks and go to the bar to order the same thing. If she invites you to come back speaking to her, let’s go.
A girl does not use consciously techniques of seduction but knowing some can allow you to spot the girls who are in attitude of seduction.
She dances with a friend on the floor. Pass in front of her and take her hand, if she hangs on it: let’s go.
Indirect approach: ask her what she thinks about the party.
Breaking the ice: say that there is a lot of people, that it is warm, etc. The commonness is your friend in this context.
Talk to her in the ear, and at the same time take her hand. Pull her towards you to isolate her, but if she hangs on as by gravity to the attraction of the group, stay near the group and dance with her.
If she is motivated, to such a point that when you put her a finger in the mouth, she sucks it strongly: intend then to conclude on the same evening.
Touching her by chance or making touches with pretexts will strongly help you: dare.
Attention if you present a girl whom you have just approached to a guy, he can compete with you.
If the happy hours goes well, invite her to come to have dinner later.
Taking photos can draw the attention of a group, do not hesitate to strike up a conversation. Taking a photo with somebody can also be an excuse to ask for her Facebook and phone number or boost the conversation.
Reading the lines of the hand and other games are useful (buy a specialized book).
Eye contact is essential, do not come out from nowhere.
If a guy takes initiatives and that she rejects him friendly, the way is clear…
Take advantage of public transportation to sit next to the attractive girls.
If there are people all around, make a sign discreetly to say that you want to talk to her.
Problem of perception- womanizer = involuntary everyday acceptance of the interaction. If you overplay the habit, she will not feel unique any more.
If she has earphones (alone, bored?), make a sign to tell that you want to speak to her.
Simple and direct = you assume = original.
If she seems to read over your shoulder or to look at what you are doing, imply her “it is NLP, do you know it?”
Invite your neighbours.
Tease them if they do or talk nonsense.
When we approach a girl on the street, we know very quickly into what is going to turn the meeting on the other hand when we see the girl every day, we can take our time.
If you do not stop her, there are chances that she disappears forever.
Girls on a bench can be bored. Approach them!
You can wrongly disqualify your desires for sex, do as if that came from her. That she has a dirty mind.
A kind is only a preference because the attraction is independent, it is a physical and emotional answer to your personality.
You have to find your style, and if you change it, it is because YOU want it.
No technique works with all the girls. But ask for her first name!
Because of a misunderstanding that can happen, only because you dared!
The simplest catch phrases (openers) are probably the best.
Ideas of lines :
Hello, I just wanted to speak to you.
Would you like to go having a drink later ? (showing her your phone)
Would you like to go having a drink now?
Would you like to prolong the night with my friend and me ?
Well ! What did you do tonight ?
What will you do now, except going to bed alone and contemplate your walls. Would you like to have a drink elsewhere ?
Hello, Do you recognize me ?
Listen, now, I have not a lot of time, because I have to join a friend (do not say “a girl friend”), but if you want, we can have a drink later.
Would you like to come eating with us ?
We’re leaving, but I noticed you, and that would please me to have a drink with you later.
Hello, could you remove your sunglasses please?
Sunglasses are annoying, we cannot know if the person likes us, and in addition I heard that everything passes through the eyes.
Hello, I find you attractive (if the time is really counted in seconds.) A number?
No, I cannot, I have to see a friend.
=> All right, we can see each other later if you want.
Hello, I found you nice, would you like to go having a drink?
Ah well, because it would be nice. Where are you going? We could have a drink and discuss…
What are you doing tonight ?
You give me your number ?
All right, but on a single condition…
You call me tonight…
(Game of the oracle) Mobile, oh mobile, tell us who is a very good lover in the bed?
(Opinion – chat) Hello, I think that the women lie more than the men.
Hello, my girlfriend has just left for Egypt with her ex. What do you think about it, girls ?