I have already described the mindset of the womanizer in The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations. It is now time to work on the additional mindset : the one of the alpha male. “Additional” because, yeah, there are alphas who do not fuck much (like the captain in my diary). But with these two trump cards in your pocket, I think that then, we are really on our way to become a PUA. Do not only read what follows, but live it and feel it in your own skin. Let’s go !
You have an interesting life
You are socially and professionally busy, you have activities and hobbies: your life is secure but exciting. Indeed, if your life is funny and varied, you will have a lot of interesting things to tell. This is why you are a luck for the women… and you know it. Thus behave as if you did not worry about sex but assume your desires of male which are totally natural. Repressing them isn’t : you would look like a frustrated dude. Create your own reality : do as much as possible what you like in your life by avoiding what can prevent you from reaching ecstasy!
RULE : YOU DON’T “NEED” HER BUT YOU “WANT” HER.
You have a high value
Forget your flaws and focus on your qualities: you can do it because you live in your reality! Avoid all the same becoming a big arrogant idiot by moderating a little the side “it’s me THE big boss here”. Adopt the mindset according to which people like you even before having met you. Believe it or not but you will so influence their judgment on you, in a positive way of course.
RULE : THINK THAT PEOPLE APPRECIATE YOU UNTIL PROVED OTHERWISE.
They look for a sexual partner who knows how to give them some pleasure. You have to show that it is your case by taking the commands. Anyway, in our countries, the women want, generally, not taking the initiative for sex. The women want you to do it, and appreciate the men who do (“it is virile”).
You are persistent
You are active in your search for sex. You persist until they reject you or until sex… and especially, you appreciate the possible fails which testifies of something very good : you have tried. The flight is a coward behavior (ie people who just want to avoid any possibility of being rejected). You are relaxed and excited because, psychologically when two persons are together, the feelings become contagious.
You are discreet
Do not look for the approval of your buddies who do not fuck by telling them in details all your successes. The discretion will play your advantage. You will so avoid, besides, making people feel jealous. These people would put a spoke in your wheel (eh yes people can sometimes be very disappointing!) “Do you know the professional secret?” ;)
RULE : YOU ARE DISCREET.
You know you are irresistible
If you are convinced of your success, your attitude will adapt itself automatically. It will increase your chances of success. You are powerful and determined but at the same time funny, natural and open. You are a little bit a bad boy (without becoming a jerk) and you add a naughty smile on your face: the picture is completed. Handsome boy!
You are a leader
Somewhere in your life, you are a leader (even keeper in a secondary school or something like that because you so establish authority on people). The positions of authority turn on the women. And playing the boss will also excite you, it is natural! The life is well made in a sense…
You say “thank you”
If somebody does you a favor, it is because he or she likes you, in a way. Otherwise, he would not. By saying “thank you”, you express your gratitude and validate the positive image which these people have of you.
So, when a woman pleases you or compliments you: do not ignore it nor minimize it. You have to thank her for accentuating the compliment and keeping in mind that you deserve these favours. It is also usefull when the girl makes you a furtive or involuntary compliment. By hearing “thank you”, she then becomes aware that she has complimented you and it will make your value rise in her head. Good!
RULE : YOU ARE COOL IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
You are busy
By not always being available, your value increases (principle of rarity). Thus, roughly, you have to remain inalienable for a woman as long as the profit which you would win is less important than what it would be necessary to invest by making the effort to make you available for her. Don’t be in a hurry to call her back. You are busy and they have to fight to win your attention. Get used to end a conversation at a strong moment. Hang up the phone the first one because you have things to do. Do not make yourself available for a date if you have already foreseen other thing (the women are not a priority absolved in the life… and even less an unknown who did not suck you yet (maybe she is bad in the bed)).
RULE : THE WOMEN ARE NOT A PRIORITY NOR A END.
You lead the game
If a woman makes a quirk or a drama and if you follow her in the frenzy, you are dominated. On the contrary, you have to behave as if it was stupid and not grant it too much importance. She will do the same. You have to think that you are a luck for her (and not the opposite). Be indifferent, especially with a beautiful girl, she will suddenly make efforts to gain your attention and your affection (we all like challenges).
You have a strong will
You live in your own reality: you know what you have to do and where you want to go. If a chick drew your attention, she is invited to enter your world. We can use for it the imperative “join me later I am going to have a drink this evening” : you show that you are not afraid of putting yourselves in danger by saying such things. Think of easing this type of sentences by saying them with a detached and a player tone to don’t look rude nor authoritarian. The women appreciate to be driven by a virile man who needs neither their validation nor their approval. But them, they need our approval and our validation… It is so good !!!
You are a prize that women want to win
You must be convinced that a woman would be lucky to have you. Hold yourself in high respect because you know how to bring women to the pleasure zone. If your reality was weak, the others would imposed you their reality. On the contrary, because your reality is strong, you are not affected by the perceptions of the others and you can impose your vision of the world. In your reality, you are a pure alpha male!
You are virile and powerful
Do things to feel virile and powerful: for example, lift some weights. In a general way, take care of you. And especially, communicate that you feel good in your skin .
RULE : YOU FEEL GOOD IN YOUR SKIN.
You make the first step
The virile man makes the effort. Go out, because the women are not -yet- delivered (even if we made the first step towards this concept since the dating sites exist…)
You are sociable
The virile man makes the effort. He speaks to people: men or women, attractive or not. In brief, try to be pleasant!
By being optimistic, you will be more pleasant : you will attract good persons and good things. Adopt positive thoughts to be able to recognize the success. Success does not arrive if we do not believe in it, simply because we miss too many opportunities… Forget the failures of the past, it only exists in your spirit now. Do not worry, if you decided to worry about something, you would always find subjects to do it. Learn how to don’t care about what is not really important!
Visualize yourself as the ideal person that you would like to be. Only remember successes when you think of the past. Anticipate your success: smile because you appreciate the fact of being attractive. Because your reality is such as you decide it : use your thoughts to smile. Made positive sentences that you repeat every day. Say, feel, show your power.
You have a positive internal dialogue
You are persuaded that you create your own success in the life. That more you will try to do something, more you will success. Everything is possible in your reality (locus intern). The locus of external control, on the contrary, makes everything depend on the others. It is a bad thing!
It is thus preferable to be confident because “it is what I am” rather than to look for outside signs which demonstrate it to you. Indeed, if your confidence comes from yourself (locus intern), you will keep it whatever happens. And stop thinking of the failures of the past because you can’t do anything about that now : You would waste your time which is so precious.
You are not authoritarian
People do not like that one gives them orders, thus avoid being too authoritarian. Be fascinated by what you do and assume your responsibilities : you do what you have to and people follow you in a natural way. Because you are interesting and reassuring, people will like being lead by you.
You are not jealous nor possessive
Here is the problem of the feeling of jealousy : our happiness depends on our girlfriend. It also testifies a lack of other sexual options. We refuse that she speaks with another guy because we are afraid that she runs away with him (insecurity/lack of self-confidence) and that we so lose our happiness (dependence). If you feel it, shut up until it’s gone.
To counter this behavior (she sees other guys), say in a indifferent way “OK, have fun”. And talk to other women: it is also necessary to work on the problem of the dependence (that you should not confuse with love)…
You do not worry about what women think
Whether it is your thoughts as well as her feelings, do as if you didn’t care because what YOU feel is more important.
Do not boast…
The boast informs that you are seeking for approval and are in lack of sex. Thus, do not put into words your qualities… Rather let the women discover them. It will engender some confidence and mystery: be a source of surprises for them.
The boast is like the “overcompensation”. It is a little the principle of the guy who has a big car: the girls often say to themselves that he tries to compensate for a small cock. It is not good except with the superficial girls who like the big cars and who do not think by themselves…
RULE : DO NOT BOAST…
…but don’t belittle
Do not be modest because it would show that you are afraid of offending the others and that you want to be perceived as somebody very polished. Are you a kind little boy? No. You will thus avoid the false modesty except for a joke, obviously. Indeed, making a joke about yourself shows that you are enough confident and that you have no complex on such or such subject. Furthermore, a high self-esteem is communicative and women love it. Those who do not like it are those who think they are not good enough for you!
You do not push the others down
Pushing down the others shows your own insecurities. Do not do that with people with whom you are in competition on the sexual plan : just, do not pay attention to them. Same thing, do not criticize people in their back. It is unhealthy…
RULE : DO NOT CRITICIZE PEOPLE IN THEIR BACK.
You do not wait for specific result
The seduction is a game, thus do not forget to have fun. Relax. Do not give too much importance for your statements or for your behavior when you try to pick up. Don’t look for any result in particular… because you do not depend on results. Remember that you do not need (lack, insecurity) to fuck but you WANT to (nature). Where necessary, you would take so badly the rejections that you would feel sick. Anyway, it is impossible to have them all, it is simply necessary to optimize the probability of fucking beautiful girls by behaving in a virile way. Be sexual but not threatening and have some patience: there is no other miracle solution. The experience plays a lot. Failure = experience (subject to not loosing courage nor giving up meanwhile).
RULE: FAILURE = > EXPERIENCE = > LEARNING = > SUCCESS
You do not parade your intelligence
Everybody is shy and clumsy in a domain. If women who think that you are valuable speak to you, they will be happy if they think they have won your approval.
Do not play either too much the little games of the others. In this case, answer quickly so that the girl thinks having won your approval and explains the solution to you. If you feel the need to expose your intelligence, it is in reality because you are not confident… and thus seeking for approval… and thus weak.
Make people talk instead. Make them speak about things they liked. Try to don’t interrupt too much anybody who speaks about something which interests you. Concentrate on your friend rather than on yourself. Try to understand why one speaks to you about such or such subject: every girl is a new exploration (and I’m not only talking about removing her clothes).
You listen and speak only if you chose to. If you are bored, don’t hide it (but politely). Roughly, you give your attention to people only if they deserved it.
Last point, be enough confident and open to be able to listen to somebody who knows more than you on a subject or who is stronger in a domain.
RULE : GIVE YOUR ATTENTION ONLY IF THE PERSON DESERVED IT.
You do not attract pity
People always laugh at what makes them feel pity. Even when it is sad. Even when, at the time, they don’t seem making fun of you. A girl who would feel pity for you would patronize you : it is the opposite of the maternal instinct on which you count maybe. Even if it is a technique of persuasion that can work, avoid because that is not classy and relatively little effective in love (blubbering in front of a girl so that she lets you bang her). You do not want to be thought of as somebody weak!
You do not put them on a pedestal
People who are lacking affection suffocate you and try all the time to draw your attention. They are incapable to have fun alone and thus are dependent. Paradoxically, what takes place psychologically, it is that they tempt to reject them rather than to see them frequently. Don’t be in demand, nor needy. Do not suffocate women. If a woman does not want you, it is her who loses something there. (Especially when you will have become a VERY VERY GOOD LOVER) “your loss!”
Do not prevent people from making you a favor
It increases the good image which they have of you: by making you a favor, they invest in you. Thank them because you know that you deserve that one takes care of you.
Do not appear “too cool for her”
Make the girl, understand from time to time, that she deserves you. For example, you can make a positive observation immediately followed by a question for further information (so that she cannot refuse your compliment and feel in position of validation). Because you are an opportunity for a woman, she will be happy to impress you. However, I prefer avoiding the compliments on the physical appearance and I prefer compliments on her attitude if I find it encouraging either on her style (roughly on something that she chose rather than on something that she owes to the genetics or to the money of her parents…)
You do not seek for approval
You live the life which you want without making too much case of the other people’s opinion.
You do not worry too much about what they think
You have no control on what they feel. On the other hand, you can control YOURSELF. Do not take it too seriously, it would give them some power onto you and would make you less attractive. The women are for you a source of amusement and pleasure: your happiness comes from yourself, you give nobody the responsibility of your emotional state. Besides, the girls would give you bad advice: they would teach you how to be for their taste for a long relation IE easily controllable and exploitable before sex. The virile guy, him, fucks quickly, so much he is exciting. Choose your camp: assume!
RULE: YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT OF WHAT THEY THINK. ASSUME!
You are not afraid of rejection
We are not going to lie : if you do not go to speak to the attractive girls, it is because you are afraid of being rejected. We all are anxious to feel pain in the ego. A new situation and a new person… It is worrying. However, as a virile man, your self-esteem has to come only from yourself and does not have to depend on the others. Wait nothing from an interaction. Be simply friendly. Face your fears: approach women. Become aware of what makes you personally nervous and eliminate it.
RULE: YOUR CONFIDENCE COMES FROM YOURSELF AND DOES NOT DEPEND ON THE OTHERS.
A good technique can be to tell yourself a joke before going there. If you put yourselves no pressure, you will have more success. Furthermore, if we wait for nothing from her in particular, we don’t care if she answers badly. Be sexual, be relaxed. At least you will have tried like a virile man who does not apologize for his desires. Every time you try, that you succeed or not, you improve your capacity of approaching : it desensitizes you. Learn to don’t give a damn! Focus AT FIRST on what you will feel LATER. Do as if she had already rejected you and if you were satisfied there instead of being nervous even before speaking. You will probably be surprised discovering that people are, generally, happy to speak to unknowns. Furthermore, the rejection shows that you are virile: you had the courage to try. 80% of the pleasure you will have with women will come from 20% of women you approached (even less). There will be women susceptible in your charm and available for the kind of relation that you propose. Concentrate on the good customers and let the rest leave to the competition, you will have enough (even too much) to deal with anyway.
Do not take either the life or the women too seriously
Do not perceive them all as potential girlfriends because you would give them too much importance. They have to be for you a source of amusement and sex. That’s it, it is just a game. You choose the women who enter your life and it is not the opposite which happens. No choice by default: an alpha lives the life he wishes.
You do not have to appear lacking of self confidence, nor being in lack of affection and even less seeking for approval : they are factors which kill any attraction. Don’t be boring by speaking about technical subjects, by parading your culture over not funny subjects and never boast, nor try to impress a woman with your purchasing power. You have a simple relation: do as if you knew her for a long time. It is necessary to say “no” to the woman. For example, “let’s go here!
– no, we shall go within one hour”. You so establish your authority, you become a challenge and that excites her instead of boring her.
You are confident, powerful socially, you go towards the others, you are funny, you have a high opinion of yourself (if you do not believe in you how the others could?) and you are balanced (it implies that you know how to joke and tease). If a woman acts nasty, you laugh because you consider them as younger sisters comedians and because you have no complexes (you are not vindictive). Later, she will regret her bullshit and you will score points by telling her that “it is not very grave”.
Never be negative
Remain entertaining when you say what you are doing in life, and a little bit mysterious.
Generally, I avoid making compliments on her physical appearance because they are too commonplace (I always try to distinguish). I like making ambiguous compliments also (“I don’t know how I should understand it ?!”). However, if you make a sincere compliment, quickly move on by asking a question. It prevents her from refusing the compliment and obliges her to show her ability again. In this way, we can also take our approval if the answer does not please us: nice! So, quickly change subject after having complimented her. On the other hand, do not make false compliments, it would show that you seek for approval at all costs. As virile man: you have to give your approval without expecting anything in return. Don’t forget that you lead the game!
RULE : YOU LEAD THE GAME.
Buy nothing to a woman unless she did deserve it. Do not give into her requests only because you are convinced that you have to win her approval. If you offer coffees, say that it is nothing (2€). Roughly, set up a system of punishment/reward with your money like with your attention: everything that you can do for her depends of what she is doing to deserve it. And do not forget that a woman who pays (drinks) to spend time with you, invests in you, and will thus more be able to wait for a return on investment (orgasms).
RULE : YOU REWARD THE GOOD BEHAVIOR AND PUNISH THE BAD ONE BY GIVING OR REMOVING YOUR ATTENTION.
You have your own convictions. You are confident. You think by yourself.
You know that you do not need their approval.
You put aside your ego and your insecurities to speak to a woman: you identify your qualities, you strengthen them and you eliminate the bad things which block you.
Do not think too much of you when you are with a woman. Stay natural. A better yourself !
Make the women wet by the strength of your spirit: have fun. Tease. Fuck. Be romantic. Bad boy!
Don’t modify, in any case, your personality to please the others (seek for approval).
Do not refuse an invitation if you have nothing better to do.
RULE : BE SOCIAL, IN THE RIGHT WAY.
Make the efforts, do not feel hurt if it is you who call the others (even if it is always better when it is the girl who sends a text to you). Most of people are sorely lacking of initiative. It does not necessarily mean that they do not like you…
Do not specially try be appreciated by HER in particular. Be relax and patient. Meet girls, take their number or their Facebook, go out and have a drink with them. You can choose later !
RULE : DO NOT COUNT ON THE FATE TO MEET GIRLS YOU LIKE, PROVOKE YOUR LUCK.
Be confident, excited and relaxed. Not asexual, in panic or tense. Indeed, it could be flattering to see somebody panicking at the idea of approaching us but it is not sexy. To have sex, it is necessary to be sexy, not kind.
RULE : ASSUME YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY. INFORM HER THAT SHE HAS EVERYTHING TO WIN AND NOTHING TO LOSE DURING A BEDTIME WITH YOU.
You can be someone cool by doing bad things. But not too much : do not become a criminal to kiss more. Have more fun to kiss more.
You love making new friends.
You only apologize when it is necessary.
You are never considered as acquired.
The curiosity is a powerful emotion: in any case, it is necessary to avoid that they are indifferent.
Look at pictures of attractive girls if you start liking too much one in particular, without obvious reason (except hormones). You will put things in perspective.
She is not entitled to particular privileges because she has a vagina. You have a magic penis!
You have other sexual options than her in particular. She has to feel it. You are independent from her will and whims.
You are not needy. You are not depressed. You are occupied. You go in for sport. You have friends.
You do not show too much your feelings in the presence of a woman: it is reserved for the friends and for the family. Moreover, you are popular.
Cooking her a meal is an excellent excuse to find you both together in an intimate place.
You are someone enthusiast. Why not doing any voluntary service or one of these activities the girls like very much?
You are involved in your work to improve yourself and reach your objectives.
RULE : YOU ARE AMBITIOUS AND GENEROUS.
Others depend on your reality. You are quiet and always optimist in the middle of the storm. You are funny and interesting. The conversation is good (quantity and quality). You are relaxed, you let everybody talk but everybody listens to you with attention when you speak. If people do what you told them to do and succeed, let them collect the glory. On the other hand, if they go away from the right way, correct them.
RULE : IN THE DOUBT, YOU ALWAYS GRANT THE PRESUMPTION OF GOOD INTENTION.
You feel at ease in almost all situations: others or events cannot affect your reality. You will make a success of everything that you will try, you know it! “By default, all the girls are attracted by me, unless they prove me the opposite, but it is not so important in fact”. You like seeing images of you. You are relaxed, in case of stress for work, go back to your cool attitude outside. Do not put yourself under stress for what COULD happen. You are valuable because you forget your flaws and concentrate on your qualities. You are valuable thus you are a challenge for her and not the opposite! Moreover, you are very demanding concerning the qualities of a woman. Roughly, you WANT her but you don’t NEED her … To keep a girl on the long term, enjoy the present moment. The one who is (or appears?) the least the involved controls the relation.
RULE: YOU HAVE DISCERNING CRITERIA REFLECTED FOR WHAT YOU LOOK FOR WITH WOMEN.
Have attractive girls as friends. You are clear with the fact that you are not interested and then it is everything. By being friends with an attractive girl, you will feel more attractive and thus more confident. Furthermore, she will help you to improve your clothing style and your appearance in general. Well, if really she wants that you fuck her and that you like her, do not frustrate yourself! But do not make promises which you do not plan to keep…
Sleeping with several girls increases your social value. But attention, because jealousy is an extremely powerful emotion, especially for women. For that purpose, do not tell to a girl that you sleep with others, let her wonder. To make her healthily jealous, do not say it but suggest it! If you are, yourself, sexually free: do not blame her for being free too.
You are sociable and dynamic. You are not negative, neither about yourself nor about the others. And especially, you concentrate on the pleasure of others. Indeed, people will follow you only if they win something at it. It is the human nature and it is necessary to deal with it! Roughly, if you don’t feel well, keep it for you. Do not always talk about you to you but let your friends speak of what they want.
Having friends implies responsibilities. It is even a priority! You must thus be ready to make sacrifices to see them. Do not refuse an invitation even if you are lazy because you have nothing better to do than to nap at your place watching a porn!
To make a new friend, it is not complicated, suggest taking his number, e-mail or “social network” and contact him… and then that’s it. Invite your new friend to do something practical for him (or who interests him to begin) and do not be too much demanding… stay cool and do not feel offended if ever he refuses or postpones. It is btw intelligent to always have a B plan in the life.
Talk about things you have a common. Speak about subjects on which you agree. Be a good-fellowship: you feed the conversation on what the other person tells.
You flit from one subject to another, you go back on a subject, do not stay too long on the same. You can speak about everything and anything. You are open-minded.
You speak to a lot of people, everywhere where you go, to feel at ease in any situations.
You develop: avoid the answers in one single word.
You evoke your sensations or ask your questions with expressions like “I wonder if…” so that people do not have the impression to undergo an interrogation when they speak to you.
You do not specially try to solve the problems of the girls like a psychiatristor a handyman, except of course, if they ask to you for it explicitly.
You do not interrupt too much and you do not sulk if one interrupts you : it is a sign of interest and implication in the conversation in your favor (but that may be badly interpreted).
You do not judge!
You make comments and spontaneous observations.
You are a player, funny and you make cool comments.
By having ambition and hobbies, you have automatically a lot of things to tell to the others. Become an expert in something, women love that! Even if it is only in cooking or another thing like that…
An art can become a great hobby. Gone on trips in exotic places, be cool, have fun, be curious: take advantage of your life … Like I often say “it’s now that we are young!”
Be belligerent! Indeed, as said previously, a woman has to feel safe with you. You thus have to demonstrate her that you know how to take care of her!
Well. I hope you feel better after having read that.