The worst idea I’ve ever had

July 31st 2014,

This story requires an introduction. I don’t remember if I have already talked to you about my older brother. My bro, as the kids say nowadays. Who is in fact my half-brother, other son of my father. I think that I did, but briefly. I am thus going to develop a little.

He is in a way my opposite. He is 6ft3 and for something like 221 pounds. He smokes 3 packs a day, drinks 2 apéritifs a day, does not go in for sport, likes criticizing everybody, is totally wild (he almost never gets out of his house), fucks only fat or old women and in any case rarely (we hear a lot about it). It’s not that he does not like the hot chicks, I can sometimes see him staring at them, but I guess that he is afraid of them. It is unfortunately the case of many men. However he rejects with violence any conversation about seduction (he is stubborn) and thinks what I write on my blog is not possible thus is a lie (limiting beliefs).

One day, he said that he wanted to take woman who would be lower than him in every respect. To dominate her. That shocked me because I’m the very opposite: I would like to take woman who is superior to me (or at least who completes me effectively)… This is why I make all this personal fulfillment. So, my children would be an improved version of me. Well, I hope!

Two years ago, he decided to get married. He thus registered on Meetic. He met a 40-year-old girl (older than him) with a strong accent from Marseille then unsubscribed. He warned me “she is not a hottie“. Actually, I was shocked when I met her. Not specially ugly commonplace face but really fat and thus with puffy cheeks, a fat ass and very hanging udders. The worst: she is not intelligent. I still remember the first time when we ate together: she said something like “Léo diCaprio if he came over he would not sleep in the bathroom“. My brother answered “yeah but I would kill him in that case.” Seriously how submitted : it is the girl the idiot not Léo diCaprio. And what a ridiculous conversation as if the actor would be interested in her! As for myself I don’t care about the life of the celebrity! And the wallpaper of the phone of his girl is a picture of Taylor Lautner topless in the rain, she doesn’t stop saying “ohhh he is sooooo handsome, don’t you think ???” Seriously everytime I wanna answer “heuuuu… I don’t care in fact how old are you seriously you look like a backward teenager“. But I contain myself : even if my father is disappointed too, the instruction of the patriarch is to do like if we liked her (because the mother of my brother already tried the frankness she told him that she was ugly and that if he married her she would disinherit him, the result was that he does not speak to her any more for 1 and a half year and insult her cheerfully in front of us.) Because my brother is a big idler he married the first one he met on the Internet, by ease. He justified the whole with a “I love her” and both overplay every time they are called “Heart, Love, etc.” Ridiculous !!! Well well… this is just my opinion. I wonder what he will answer when his kid will ask him how they met…

Now, the fat is pregnant but does not want to stop smoking (but she absolutely does not want to drink a drop of alcohol). When my brother asked her to stop: she answered that it was dangerous to stop. True story! Who wears the pants? As a result, he did not stop either. Seriously, that is what happens when you marry idiots: they dominate you because are lazy and understand nothing. You can tell them nothing nor make them understand anything, it’s serious !!! Besides, she and her mother say 100 times the same looped thing it is boring, it is agreed speech, it is some shit. The worst it is when his girl plays h2g “yeah I met a very handsome model on Meetic me“… what she does not say it is that the guy if he has a little of common sense and is not starved he ran away.

I hope that the baby will not be malformed because my brother begged me almost on his knees to be the godfather (after having thrown me a sandwich of I don’t remember what in the face by telling me “eat it is organic and you are too skinny“). Seriously, I’m sick of it. I am not very keen on but how to refuse (we inculcated me to never say no to family) ? I not at all want to oversee a boy who will be raised by an intellectually limited woman and her mother who speaks hardly French (because yeah they are in a ménage à trois since they moved together and there is a dog too, a long-haired yucky thing that looks like a cat and shits in the lounge: my brother kicks him with feet to play the tough person). Seriously, this girl thinks that with her BTS(TWO-YEAR TECHNICAL DEGREE) secretariat she is the most intelligent of the world and criticizes her colleagues and bosses (of the city hall of Marseille). And him, wishes that his son (because they is out of the question that it is a girl you understand) is a man a real one and thus he plans well to inculcate him the following values: tough education, alcohol, fag, racism, misogyny, vulgarity, being slanderous and official hypocrite.

I swear you: my brother is a champion of vulgarity. He worked a few years as truck driver while he has a master’s degree in law, just saying! Now, he works in a management agent and adores calling people to charge them, abuse them and sometimes send the bailiff to them. He always pushes away all what is culture. Sometimes he bawls above me as if I was still 8 years old (we have a ten years old difference).

I think that he is sorely lacking confidence and thus compensates for all this with a disproportionate pride and a wickedness to everybody. He is certainly very conceited because he allows to criticize everybody (we feel reassured as we can). But at the same time, when we have a woman like that, we cannot brag !!! It is not credible!!! The worst is when I introduce them to hot girls (hotter than her in any case), they both always criticize them.

His wife is really kind of girl who says this kind lousy saying “it is those who speak about it most who make it least“… heu lol me I talk about it and I do it. If they say so it is often because it is their own case to talk about it but to do nothing in fact. And in any case, these guys we unmask them (it is the principle of the shit-test) and then even it is ridiculous if after they’ve slept with a girl after having said that are hopeless in the bed in fact. Once she was shocked just by a joke I had made : her best friend took plane then I had asked if she had reached the seventh sky. HOW SHOCKING ! Idem, when I speak a little about sex (sweetened version) she answers “Ah but me I am not like that eh if you try to fuck me in the street or in your car you never see me again…
– Good because I absolutely don’t want you.
” This kind of aggressive speech is held most of the time by girls who are not confident thus they want to develop loyalty of the guy before by the desire before giving him some sex (do not be dependent on a girl for your sexuality). They do not think that they can keep him without keeping him waiting or using other shitty strategies. It is really pathetic! My brother listens carefully then judges like a nice guy to align with her ideas (I think that he is a little bit jealous but does not absolutely want to question himself). Once she saw a picture of Padawan she exclaimed “HIM HE NEEDS PICK UP LESSONS ? HE IS SO HANDSOME OHHH”… Well yeah seen how girls work, he really needs it. Moreover in front of him even if she was young, beautiful and single she would certainly have been a pain in the ass. With lousy principles or I know not what but well that does not prevent her in the abstract from judging like that!!! What irritates me the most is the bullshit!

Now, his last lousy idea is to buy (while he is already put into debt for his car) a ruined house in the Var and to ask me to help him to repair it. A very yucky thing in a hole lost at 45mn of his work (thus 1:30 am of highway a day for him and 1 hour for her) when he would live with his wife, his mother-in-law (Armenian cleaning lady) and the future baby whose first name is kept secret (so I fear the worst).

Finally here we are, he so much repeated to me that the obese girls are awesome that I decided to try. After all, we cannot say that we do not like something before having tasted, normally. I belonged on holidays to Saint Martial in Ardèche (I like very much the kayak) and I had Adopt on my phone. I thus looked for a fat very yucky not far away from my position. Something like a 3/10 (I rarely do below 7 sometimes 6 if really she has some charm or if the context is favorable to her eg an alcoholic party). If possible susceptible like the other one, just to repeat the pattern. I found some… let’s say that with every sausages they eat in these mountains it helps!!!

I met one by getting invited at her place directly “thanks to” the technique I teach in my ebook about online seduction.

I seriously think that it is the worst idea I have ever had in my life. Frankly, I knew it that being curious, experimenter, tolerant, comprehensive and especially to try to understand people different from me was going to play tricks on me some day.

At her place, on her sofa, I looked at her and thought only of clearing off. Especially that, she bragged. It was unbearable. Already that when a girl has enough for her to brag it is boring but in her case it was too annoying. Then, I know well that she overcompensated but that irritated me. “Do I tell her why I am here in fact or what ?! So she finally shuts up ?!” She probably thought that she was going to fuck me no matter what, that it was beforehand won for her… With that said, I have two theories on the fat / ugly:

1/ They less intimidate the guys (the beauty intimidates) thus are more picked up by the average guys. As a result, they get big-headed and think that they do not need to make any effort to be able to be demanding with guys.

2/ They have so much complexes that they do not dare to undress thus are difficult to fuck. I bet that they feel guilty even when they take French fries in the self-service restaurant. But it is not for that that they would question their food / lifestyle. They will say “it is genetic that’s not my fault”… well well, maybe in 1% of the cases. But it is easy to fool yourself!

In brief, I was not able to. I am not nasty then I quickly apologized and cleared off. Yeah, ME FABRICE JULIEN, I got cold feet… but understand me: I am used all the same to quality and there I didn’t want to fall so low. Sorry. I know that she is a human being but she will find another guy to have fun. Seriously, it is not because I am not homophobic that I have to suck cocks. Well, it’s the same thing there… I hope that it was understandable because myself am a little bit vague.

I can already hear politically correct people saying : “yeah but there are countries where fat people are considered as attractive because that evokes wealth and everything“. I shall answer them: In the countries you’re talking about, the people are poor and are ravenous, that’s their biggest danger. In our countries, rich and intelligent people eat well and have the means to take care of them. They are attractive because are in shape, healthy. I don’t think that the prehistoric man was obese: he had not to deal with junk food and had to make efforts to get his food. In our society, sheeps, those who are not endowed with critical mind, the victims of the advertising, and the poor people eat junk food and have a potbelly. In two words: what is attractive, it is the possibility of being a good parent. A man in shape is potentially a better parent than a poor man suffering from malnutrition or who is on the contrary a big bacon full of saturated fatty acids.

Well well, Barney’s rule “for every three 10’s you bang, throw a bone to a 5, they’re grateful and hard working and let’s face it, sometimes you just want to lay there” apparently doesn’t work for me.

May the God of the Game be with all of us !

PS = By the middle of the month, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling very strange. All at once, my heart began accelerating as if it was going to go out of my breast. I was very hot, I perspired and nevertheless I was very cold. Terrifying. I auto-reassured by telling to myself that with all the saunas and every hour of tae kwon do I had made like an animal : I could not die from a heart attack so stupidly in my bed. That eventually stopped and I fell asleep again! The next day, aches everywhere, and palpitations all day long.

I went to a doctor who told me that it was a very powerful anxiety attack. That is linked to my bellyache I have for two months. According to him, I have a functional colonopathy. I looked on the Internet that means everything and nothing. And especially, he gave me no concrete solution but an appointment with a gastroenterologist. The truth is that I did not really accept this diagnosis “what if I had something grave in fact ? he does not even look… it is so easy to say that it is just the stress“. Needs to say that Padawan and his disease of the plot theory had warned me against doctors “yeah they give pills but it is to make us sick in fact they get commissions of labs on every prescription they make, etc.” Heu, my cousin is a doctor she would have told it to me… But well, that made me think all the same and with this kind of thoughts we lose trust in them and in their skills (especially when we have seen them getting drunk in their parties).

Because of my learning of the personal fulfillment, I am in a state of mind of fighter. I thus swore to myself that I was going to give myself the ways to take care of myself. I went to see a étiopathe recommended by 6ft who describes him as a magician of the health. He put back in place my vertebras, made me manipulations for the stomach… well there, I do not have a stomach ache any more. But I still feel strange, I am dizzy and have knocks in the heart. For that, he asked me to make test my rates of catécholamines (blood test and wee-wee in a jar).

As a result: I explode the normal rates of adrenalin and dopamine. I am exceptional. My regular doctor thus sent me to the scanner to see if I had a phéochromocytome. The scanner revealed nothing then he threw in the towel… by directing me all the same to the inner medicine of the hospital of Aix.

He nevertheless suggested me to go to a scintigraphy because according to him if the scanner reveals nothing, the scintigraphy can. Then why did he send me to the scanner first with the horrible injection of iodine that were implied??? Knowing that for the scintigraphy, it would again be necessary to injected me something, a nuclear thing I don’t know what exactly. In brief, I am not keen on and I worry.

Finally here we are. I feel sick, I am tired all the time, I think every day that I am going to die… But I am still there then I look forward to my appointments at the hospital and at the gastroenterologist (but it is long deadlines). I have difficulty in making anything, I am quite weak and I want nothing.

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